With These Wings
by Lunalunar
Summary: Kobato Cross considered herself to be a normal girl. But once she was sent on a mission to save Sirius Black, can she over her come her hate for him and do what is expect it of her?
1. Chapter 1: Just the start

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. I own Kobato Cross and any ideas surrounding her. **

**I hope you enjoy it.

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Kobato Cross. That's me one of the more _famous _students at Hogwarts, well _was _till that fate full day.

I never considered myself very special to say the least. I grew up in America. See my dad is the head of Crossing Wands Academy, in Vermont, which happens to be one of the top wizarding schools in America, the other being Rose Academy in California. Of course there are small ones here and there but the strongest are Crossing Wands and Rose Academy for obvious reasons. Crossing Wands has been in our family for generations passed from son to son, daughter to daughter, never changing ideas, until Christopher Cross came along, my father. Dad was the one who changed it completely.

See Dad's best friend was a Vampire. Keyword _was_. There was a huge war between Purebloods in the America's long before Voldemort came along in Europe. And somehow Vampires got involved (being the fact that a huge group of people wanted to rid the states of anything but Pureblooded Wizards) and Dad's best friend Gilbert was killed on the spot because of the hate between Wizards and Vampires. Gilbert having a Wizarding friend made him a prime target, he never stood a chance. The Vampire council wanted him dead for the crime of having a friend who was not a blood sucker. Dad likewise was wanted for having a Vampire friend. But soon the individuals who start these crazy ideas were caught and sent to prison ending the silly war in the first place…

After Gilbert's death Dad was mortified. So he set to change it once the war broke away (no sides really winning, just a lot of bloodshed really). Dad spilt the school up in a goal to proving Vampires were just as human as us wizards and witches. Just like Muggles or half-bloods or wizards/witches who came from Muggle families. He has a dream to unite everyone, none of this pureblood stuff that tends to go around. And the belief that people are better than other people just from their lineage.

The way Dad spilt the school up was simple, wizards and witches had the day class. And the night, well that was all vampires. Dad earned all sorts of medals and order of Merlin's first class for this. It was a big deal at first, people pulled their kids from school afraid for their child's safety because a Vampire might kill them…but eventually people saw how well Dad handled everything.

Well how did that end me up at Hogwarts? Dad being the head of a top Wizarding Academy and me going to one that's not his?

Well after Voldemort rose a second time Dumbledore immediately called upon my father for his help in gaining the Vampires in Europe on the Wizarding side and NOT Voldemorts. It worked. That's why no one hears of the attacks that Voldemort sent the Vampires on…because there were none. Voldemort was never able to sway anyone. My dad had a way with the Vampires. He understood them the best. After what happened to Gilbert dad wanted to make sure there wasn't any more pointless bloodshed like that between Vampires and Wizards.

Even though everyone knows that Dumbledore died at the end of Harry Potter 6th year but he still left a wish for my father. To help unite the Vampires in Europe and maybe that could bring a new order to pull the racism that exists in the Wizarding world (It's much less in America then it is in Europe hence why Voldemort happened in the first place).

So even though in America you start Wizarding School younger at age 6, by age 11 I was sent off to Hogwarts on a mission to spread what I knew. With the knowledge I knew, me being the symbol of hope and Peace, my parents believed that I could one day once I graduate Hogwarts continue on teaching over in Europe.

It never really made a lot of sense to me, but from time to time I would attend meetings in the Ministry of Magic or give lectures at Hogwarts, of course that didn't start till my 5th year, which is what I am in now. Me the beauty of 5th year with my golden blonde hair, stunning blue eyes, and average figure (Although short I might add…only 4'9''), I was never meant to be anything more then I suppose you could say…a symbol of Peace. Just as my name implied, I was a Dove. Ready to bring that peace and hope to the Wizarding world in England.

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"So did your dad write you back Al?" I looked up happily at my best friend, Albus Potter as he, Rose Weasley, and I sat at our favorite spot in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor tower. "Christmas is coming up soon and I gotta-"

Albus cut me off "I forgot to tell you!" He set his potion's book down with a grim look on his face. "I got a letter while you were helping out with the 7th years on their Vampire lesson."

"Annd?" I questioned excitement filling me, though with his grim face I assumed the worse. My blue eyes followed from Albus to Rose for any hints as I too threw aside my potions book.

"Relax would you, honestly Kobato." Rose rolled her eyes acting annoyed. But her parents already gave her the okay for her to go to America and stay at Crossing Academy during Christmas break.

"What! I can't wait for you to met Trigger!" I clapped my hands, I was thrilled. I was going home in about two weeks to see my best friend Trigger. Trigger was a pureblood Vampire and one of the sweetest ones you will ever meet. He was popular even among all the witches, although I suppose that's not hard. Vampires are a bit like Veela, beautiful in every way. "So anyways what did your parents say?" I inched forward on my seat closer towards Al, since I knew Rose wasn't going to give anything away.

"That the whole family is going." Al's face broke into a huge grin.

"That's great!" I reached forward and pulled him into a big hug.

"It will be a great learning experience wont it? That's what mum said at least" Rose piped up.

"Of course it will." I squealed. "What about you Rose? Is your whole family going too?"

"Yes, dad is a bit nervous, you know how he is, but mom's thrilled. She's read so much about Crossing Wands it has a fascinating history you know." Rose started on one of her rants. Al and I rolled our eyes and instead turned away from her not catching each other's eyes as not to laugh. My gaze was averted along with my mind when I saw a second year heading right for us.

"Errr, Cross?" The boy asked timidly. He was clearly nervous. I may have had good looks but I always looked like a 2nd or 1st year regardless. So sometimes it was nice to see that the little ones still treated me with respect, but his got to be annoying. I mean I know I was known for my temper and pranks, but he didn't have to be so timid.

"Yes, that's me." I smiled kindly trying to calm him down. "Do you need help with something?" Warmly I peered at him.

"Professor McGonagall sent me to give you this." He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to me, before quickly scurrying off to his friends who were huddled not too far away.

I looked up at Al as I held the letter curiously in my hand.

"You don't think it was for the dungbomb I threw in History of Magic…" I looked up nervous.

"No you wouldn't get a note from the headmistress herself." Al nodded wisely.

"That was you! Ugh" Rose rolled her eyes. "Sometimes you are so childish."

Al and I smirked and bumped fist. "Well, Kobato, go on at open it." Al smirked. I nodded and gingerly started to open it and read it out loud just so Rose and Al could hear.

"Please meet in my office at 8:30 sharp this evening to discuss an important matter. The password is Phoenix." I looked up at my friends even more confused. That didn't help any, I felt even more in trouble then I had before I opened it. Al looked just as confused and Rose crossed her arms.

"That wasn't much help we will just have to wait." Rose said softly and turned back to her Potions essay.

"Well if it was the dungbomb problem, you can blame me." Al patted my arm and then turned back to his essay as well.

"I wouldn't do that…" I smiled and turned to mine as well. "Not like it would matter Albus Severus Potter the perfect little boy" I rolled my eyes. Al threw a glare at me, boring his green eyes into mine. He hated being called perfect. He felt he was far from it, though he would never be the prankster like James was, that's for sure.

We didn't like to dwell on those things. Albus wasn't much of a trouble maker. I on the other hand got bored every so often and just did it naturally. It was streak in me, something my parents hope I would grow out. Or they'd pull me out of Hogwarts so I could be watched over better at Crossing Wands. Like that would happen though. My parents loved me being here just hated me being so far away.

In any case it was only an hour until 8:30. So I waited nervously but as patient as I could. Rose being perfect had said she would take me to her office for support. Al just being Al wanted to follow. So come 8:30 the three of us walked to the Headmistress office. None of us talked, for good reason. Rose had tried scolding me earlier but Al got upset saying not to be so hard on me. As for me, I didn't say anything. Overall it was a long walk to the office.

Finally I made it there and I bid my friends farewell as I made it up the grand staircase.

I didn't even get to take everything in, till my eyes found the ever so sweet and handsome figure that belonged to Trigger Nightray.

"Trig, is that really you?" I inched forward before I finally decided to launch myself at him. He was a lot taller than me, so I only came to his chest. After a long hug I pulled away and looked into his beautiful pale face, brown eyes, and his gorgeous brown hair. Just as breathe taking as I remember. My thoughts were broken though when McGonagall spoke.

"I'm glad you're happy, but he is not here for a happy reunion." I blushed at her words. Her face was strict and set. This was a serious matter.

"It wasn't my fault." I immediately said. Not sure what I was talking about I just spewed it. I nervously scanned the room, that's when I noticed Mr. Potter and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley sitting in the chairs across from Trig.

"I'll inquire about what you did later Miss Cross, but right now why don't you take a seat we have a serious matter to discuss."

"Errr…Yes ma'am." I smiled and sat right next to Trig. "But I promise it wasn't me Al-"

Trigger cut me off noticing me about to go on one of my rants "It's okay." He gave me a genuine smile and patted my hand. Everyone gave me a smile telling me to shush for now although they were about to laugh on the inside. I sighed and turned to Professor McGonagall.

"Miss Cross a prophecy has been discovered with your name on it recently." McGonagall started. My jaw found itself dropping. I grabbed Trigger's hand tightly hanging on her every word, as to try to not look like a fish, which I tend to enjoy doing some times. "To sum it up we need you for something very important. Mr. Potter if you would?"

Al's dad nodded his head and smiled over at me. I was very timid. He was the Harry Potter after all. Although I found he looked just like Al, only older so that made it easier to be able to confidentially look at him. "Sirius Black was my godfather, as you may have heard. But he was never supposed to have died, well if the prophecy is right that is."

"And what does this have to do with me?" I said as politely as I could.

"A whole lot apparently." Mr. Potter smiled, but I just stared waiting for him to go on. "You are able to change that. Resting on your shoulders is a lot of weight to say the least."

"Yes well my shoulders aren't that far off the ground. If you trust me with this the fate of the world could crash faster than you expect." I didn't mean to let my sarcasm spill out. I just couldn't help it. This serious air was starting to weigh on me. Luckily everyone let out a small chuckle.

"Well said, I knew our little Rose picked out a good friend" Mr. Weasley gave a wink at me. I smiled in return.

"Anyways if Sirius is dead already how can I change that?" I was starting to see a flaw with their plan. No one can go back in time THAT far. I mean he died what 25 years ago or something?

"Nightray if you would please." Professor McGonagall smiled over at him. Trigger turned towards me at her words and looked at me seriously.

"Kobato, remember the necklace I gave you the night I saved you." His brown eyes were searching my blue ones. I could never forget that night. I was only 10 years old and some rogue Vampires came after me. I was shaken up pretty bad that night. He calmed me down by handing me a necklace and said that with it he would always be able to find me and saved me. At the time I believed it that it would keep me safe and always bring him to my side. Of course now I know better that it was more of a charm to make me feel better.

In any case I nodded my head and listened eagerly to what this had to do with anything.

"That necklace contains the stone of the past." Trigger was blunt and to the point. "It was made by Nightray's in the past. It is able to send the correct owner to the time of their choosing given that they are pure of heart."

Now I couldn't help it at his words. I was being a fish again. Everyone else what not surprised by this news. "I don't…"

"You don't have to understand. We just need you to go back and make Sirius Black fall in love with you. That's all we are asking." Trigger reached on and grabbed my hand tightly. That was asking a lot. How would that change anything at all? How would that keep him alive?

"I…" My mind was racing I had nothing more to say.

"You will come back during all the breaks though." Mr. Potter smiled at me. "You see you will be starting your 5th year at Hogwarts in the past when Sirius and James where there."

"But…why 5th year?" I questioned thoroughly confused.

"I calculated it and that would give enough time 5th-7th year to help you reach his goal so that his death could be prevented." Mrs. Weasley smiled.

"Okay…"I said softly. "But what if I can't do it?" No but answered me at first, finally Mr. Potter spoke.

"He's Sirius Black. And from what I've heard from Al and James you're pretty popular here just like Sirius was." Mr. Potter had a strange grin on his face. I still doubted anything but nodded anyways.

"She should probably get going." Trigger said.

"Yes of course. We just need to add a couple more details." Professor McGonagall nodded in agreement.

"Oh yes." Trigger "I've already alerted Dumbledore of the situation. He wants you arriving an hour before the start of the term feast in their 5th year. And remember for every year you are in the past, you lose an hour in your present. And where ever you are in the present you will end up in the past."

I nodded that was understandable.

"I need you to close your eyes and picture the start of the year feast and Sirius in his 5th year." I looked over at everyone before I followed. I closed my eyes tightly and thought of what I was told to do. And just like that I felt myself slipping away. And when I opened my eyes there was Dumbledore. Thee Dumbledore.

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	2. Chapter 2: Fire at will

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any characters within the Harry Potter world. I due own Kobato Cross and the like

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-If this is what you want then fire at will-

Dumbledore was just as amazing as I thought he would be. He said that Trigger had packed all the things that I would need and that it was already placed in my dorm which made me feel a lot better. And truthfully, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying being in the past because I was. And honestly how hard could it be? Three years to make Sirius Black fall in love with me. Well I was severely wrong and the night of the first feast in the past for me proved to me I would need a lot of time just to make myself remotely like him. And I think though…looking back on it, it was all just one big misunderstanding. But with my short temper anything was possible.

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"I'm Lily, Lily Evans." The beautiful red head held a hand out for me to shake. I gladly took it, noticing how much she looked like Al's younger sister. I couldn't help but smile and be friendly too her. Her mannerism even seemed to mirror Al's little sister. "Dumbledore requested that I show you around and let you get a feel for the place."

The feast had just started. All the first years had been sorted and Dumbledore introduced me as a transfer student from America, naming me Kobato Nightray, as planned.

"Thank you so much Evans." I smiled warmly before helping myself into the feast.

Lily shook her head disapprovingly. "Oh please, call me Lily." She flashed a smile before joining me into taking some food.

We were silent for a moment when my ears were pulled to a couple seats down. They were being so loud whoever they were I couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"Honestly, she has to be a pureblood." My eyes wondered to the voice. It was a smooth, seducing but yet raspy voice. The owner fit the voice very well. He was very handsome. His whole body seemed to be perfectly sculpted. I couldn't help but watch as he let out a bark of a laugh. "She's all yours Moony." He flashed a charming smile at the figure across from him.

"You really think so, Padfoot? Does it truthfully matter though?" The one named "moony" responded. I looked back at the one named "Padfoot" who called me pureblood. That's when I noticed it. Next to him was someone who looked a lot like Al or James, meaning one thing. That was James Potter and the one next to him. The one I thought was good looking that was insulting me was-

"I think _Sirius _is right." James elbowed Sirius with a grin. "Clearly her etiquette is."

"Even if she is American" Sirius nodded. "I suppose that wouldn't matter though."

I couldn't listen anymore the way they were taking about me was making me lose my temper. It just sounded like I was a piece of pureblooded meat. And they all, minus who ever Moony really was, were so pompous.

"Uh-oh, we lost one to the charm of the number one trouble makers." The girl next to me snickered over to Lily.

"Please tell me no Kobato?" Lily let out a heavy sigh. She clearly didn't like them. Before looking back at me she threw a nasty glare that could have killed James and his crew. "They are so arrogant."

I laughed at Lily. "I was thinking more like arrogant to the point that their egos could fill this castle and the forbidden forest." They joined in my laughter.

"That makes three of us now who aren't in the James or Sirius fanclub." The girl next to me sighed a sigh of relief before gasping. "Where are my manners? I'm Raven, Raven Clearwater."She held out a tanned hand that I gladly took. Her name was so perfect for her. She was beautiful and elegant like a raven with her dark hair and dark eyes. But she was clearly taller than little 4'9'' me.

"Code 2319" Lily suddenly said before hiding into her food.

"What?" I asked thoroughly confused as I looked around to what she meant. It didn't take long to find out till James was pushing some girl next to Lily aside and Sirius taking another open seat that was made for him next to Raven.

"Lily, great to see your beautiful face, you don't know how much I missed you darling." James smiled warmly at him. His voice was not how it was several minutes ago. He sounded infatuated with Lily. And clearly this was annoying Lily. Where James looked thrilled, Lily looked livid, as if she wanted nothing more than to shove the potatoes she was eating up his nose.

"Potter" Lily growled through gritted teeth.

James' smile was turned quickly into a frown "You know you can call me James." He said deflated but again with that voice. I'm guessing it was the 'Lily' voice.

"Did you need something?" Lily asked, though still not looking up from her plate.

"Oh…" James sighed, looked up at Sirius who was across from him and then they both turned and looked at me. "I'm James Potter, you may have heard of me." He smiled warmly at me. I didn't say anything in return.

"As for me, well I really don't need an introduction, but I'm Sirius Black, at your service." Sirius stood up and gave a bow while winking over at me. A look that surely would make any girl melt. I on the other hand was not amused.

"I'm sure the pleasure is all _yours _Arrogant" I looked over at James "And Pompous" I looked over at Sirius. I wasn't able to produce a smile though my words were deadly sweet.

"I got this one James." Sirius bumped fist with James before walking to my side to extend a hand to me. "It's a pleasure to meet you Nightray." He smiled warmly showing a lot of interest in me.

I on the other hand stared at his hand extended to me before I turned back to look at the table. I should be nice. I have a mission. But that was out the window at the current moment. Maybe my mind was fuzzy from all the girls giggling and drooling over the boys presenting themselves before me. Or maybe their charm is making my brain go fuzzy. _Maybe_…I doubt it though.

Regardless what was addling my brain, I grabbed a dinner roll and placed it in Sirius' hand. "Eat it before the poison drips out. I wouldn't want you to die slowly." I mirrored his smile and then turned back to my food, not before hearing James snicker and the girls that were giggling gasp loudly. Raven and Lily on the other hand were stifling back laughs.

"I think that means leave." Raven waved a hand shooing them away.

"I will see you later, Doll." Sirius winked at me. James on the other hand winked at Lily.

Fanfreakntastic.

"I wish they were smarter." Lily commented, while glaring at them walking back to 'Moony'. "Then they could take a hint."

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The morning was a bit of a shock. Usually Rose wakes me up at 6 since she's busy panicking thinking she got a fact wrong on her paper. But that never happened. I was in the same dorm, in the same bed and everything so it was very disorienting at first. I was pretty sure at first I dreamed everything till I saw Raven walking into the bathroom to get ready for the day. And my mind was confirmed and set when I got my time table and was heading down for double DADA with Lily and Raven.

"As your O.W.L.s" Professor Heartwig started.

Not this again. I was so tempted to roll my eyes. DADA with Slytherin and another _speech_ on how our O.W.L.s are coming up. I had this several months ago.

"Ordinary Wizarding Level exams are coming up. You must all be prepared and even more so in this class for the rise of a certain dark Wizard." Professor Heartwig nodded wisely. I on the other hand looked around confused before it dawned on me that he was talking about Voldemort. "Now I thought the first half of the year we could learn defensive spells and dueling techniques. Whereas the second half of the year we could learn on magical creatures and beings such as Vampires and Werewolves."

I smiled, just the sort of stuff I was good at. Glad to be in this class as of right now. Though, I'm starting to change my mind with Sirius and James sitting behind me casting spells at some Slytherin in the front of the room. It was overall very distracting.

Professor Heartwig went on with several spells we would be going over in the next couple of weeks. My mind though couldn't focus for the life of me. Clearly neither could Lily's or Raven's, they were both casting nasty glares behind them at James and Sirius, who seemed in sort of a trance with the boy they were shooting spells at. I was starting to feel sorry for the poor boy. But finally something happened.

"Oh dear, Mr. Snape we will need to get you to the hospital wing. Yes yes yes, Any volunteers?" Professor Heartwig looked around I jumped up immediately. Learning about spells I already learned about was not my thing. It was a nice review for so an hour ago.

"I will if that's okay Professor." I smiled warmly wanting to earn my way out.

"Yes of course Miss Nightray." He smiled as this Snape boy and I walked out of the room. I couldn't help but notice the glare that Sirius and James gave me. It irritated me enough to plan a nice little jinx for them once they left their seats to go to lunch.

Finally I looked over at Snape, he just had a bloody nose. Not even that severe.

"Do you want me to fix that? It's a waste to go to the hospital wing." I smiled warmly over at him while searching his eyes for something, any sign of emotion. His face was rather blank as he let the blood drip down. I pulled out my wand and my handkerchief. He beat me too it and fixed his nose with easily with a flick of his wand, as if this sort of thing happened all the time. "At least take this." I handed him my handkerchief.

"Thanks" he grumbled. That's when I noticed it. This group of giggle girls outside our DADA room door. Snape followed my gaze to the girls, which caused him to roll his eyes. One of the girls was staring at me eagerly.

"You were the girl from the great feast. The new one that insulted Sirius." It was a statement and a nasty one at that. It made me want to rip her perfect blonde hair out. "I'm Victoria. And these are my girls." I looked behind her at the girls she pointed at. There was a good 10 of them.

"Shouldn't you girls be in class?" I noted while walking up to Victoria. I only came up to her chest at the very least. It would have been intimating if I didn't get the feeling she had the brain of a pixie.

"None of your business, _Nightray._ Besides what are you doing with _him_." She pointed rudely at the boy who I was supposed to be taking to the hospital wing. He was clearly annoyed by these girls' actions.

"Oh Snape? Him and I have a broom closet with our name on it." I flashed a devious smile before pulling Snape's arm and walking away from the girls. Leaving them stunned and disgusted. The minute we were out of ear shot I burst out laughing. "Sorry…uhhhh"

"S-Severus Snape." The boy said. He wasn't too bad looking now that he got the blood off his face.

"Sorry Snape, but did you see their faces!" I laughed a bit more before it dawned on me "I hope that comment didn't make you uncomfortable." I blushed finally realize that was a stupid thing to do.

"No, I'm not sure anyone would believe it." He sighed and started walking off. I didn't let him though I ran and grabbed his arm.

"Come on! We might as well spend what time we have before lunch together. Let's go by the lake!" I said excitedly. He was very tall compared to me. I once again only came to just below his chest. Regardless I pulled him along.

"Fine." He sighed. He wasn't really a happy guy. But that didn't matter to me I wanted company right now. I felt like being alone made me miss Al and Rose the most. This guy seemed nice. Even if his hair was a little greasy, but it's never about looks. Or that he's in Slytherin.

"Or would you rather go to the broom cupboard. I think I can find one for us." I laughed. He stared at me in amazement.

"The whole school will hear about that stunt you know." He blushed.

"Oh and? Does it matter?" I questioned for a bit as I picked up the pace to match his steps, his legs had to have been a 100 times longer than mine. "Who were those girls anyways?" I questioned, feeling like I already knew the answer.

"I suppose it doesn't matter…."He stared off forward before talking again. As if thinking of some girl he liked. His eyes had a slight glow to them. I wonder who it could be. "Sirius' fangirls who else?" He snorted. I didn't find it very funny though.

"At my other school I had fanboys…they aren't very nice." I noted tapping my lip before speaking again. "They liked hexing other boys I was with out of jealousy. Though they stayed away from Al, my best friend now that I think about it." I stopped myself. "Sorry I'm ranting." I blushed before opening the doors and sneaking out into the sun. I smiled and twirled around before skipping to the lake. I didn't look whether Snape was following or not. I didn't care. I was outside and it was beautiful.

"You are a weird Gryffindor." He commented taking a seat by my feet. I had already sat down and was playing with some flowers that were growing there.

I pouted my lips "Sorry" then I turned away from Snape and watched some of the 7th and 6th years that had free periods and were playing around.

"I didn't mean it in a bad way." He quickly said trying to repair the damage he had done. I smiled over at him before plopping down on my back.

"The whole school will hear that we were making out in the broom closet now, huh?" I sighed turning my head to face him.

"Those girls are famous for rumors." He clearly didn't like them. His tone of voice was filled with hatred for them. Or maybe it was jealousy that they didn't want him? Who knows?

"It does…I mean you aren't after a girl right? I mean I didn't ruin any chances you had with one?" I asked feeling genuinely bad.

He on the other hand found it amusing and started laughing. "Yeah like anyone would go for me." His voice was bitter but still had a trace of laughter in it. Now I know why Al's middle name was Severus. He was turning out to be a lot of fun. We spent the rest of the period out their talking and laughing. Overall I was not upset that I missed DADA and was actually finding myself upset that we were heading to lunch since I knew he had to go to the Slyhterin table and I would go to the Gryffindor one. We settled for walking to the great hall together which proved to be a huge mistake. It seemed the whole hall stopped talking when we showed up laughing together.

Softly he cleared his throat. "Told you so." Snape whispered before hanging his head and stalking off to his friends at the table. I on the other hand was not fazed by this. With a big smile I held my head proudly and walked over to Lily and Raven.

"How was the rest of class?" I took a seat happily next to Lily.

"How was your supposed snog?" Lily raised an eyebrow.

"Yes that, about that. He's a great kisser you wouldn't even believe it!" I laughed pretending to mean it.

"You aren't serious? That grease ball?" Raven looked disgusted, Lily on the other hand shot Raven a glare, she didn't like the grease ball comment clearly.

"No I'm not serious." I rolled my eyes and commented before Lily and Raven fought. "He's a nice boy, but I'm not going to snog someone who I just met like 10 seconds before hand. I don't snog till at least two months after dating."

"I told you he's nice and you don't listen to me Rav." Lily threw a glance and Raven before turning to me. "I knew you were a lot better then you look."

I nearly choked on my sandwich that I was about to consume. "Lily Evans, what is that supposed to mean!" I raised my voice in a false angry tone while threaten to throw my sandwich at her.

"Nothing" Lily smiled.

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	3. Chapter 3: All of your fears

Chapter 3: It's only you and me and all of your fears

**A/N: I'm going to try and make this one longer thanks to the pleasant review and the watches. Also…this chapter is going to be a bit darker but get lighter at the end (all important back story and such). On a side note…this this is my first story on fanfic. I've done tons on quizilla. But I thought I'd try something new :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not know zee Harry Potter. **

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The next two weeks went by fast. I found out quickly that Lily was a lot like Rose. Doing her homework and fretting over her grades it was like Rose down to a tee. As for Raven, I'd never have had a friend like her. She was dead set on being a beater for Gryffindor. She woke up before class and trained. After dinner she went and trained. I don't even know how she managed to do her homework but yet she did. She was way more athletic then I was used too. And my other dormmates, well…Kathleen Casey and Bri Synder were close with each other and over all quiet. So I never really got a chance to talk to them.

I found it all very hard to adjust too. When Rose would do her homework like Lily does, I would at least have Al. But there was no Al. And Raven wasn't like Al. Raven was busy training. It made me feel so lonely. What would usually then happen would be that I would find Black and out of sheer boredom he and I would duel. Which over the last couple of days our duels have become famous between both of us using non-verbal spells (at only 5th year) and how fast we were we found quickly groups of people would admire us rather than break our fighting up. And yet somehow even though dueling is not allowed, only Black landed in detention. I guess me being as small as a ten year old has it's uses.

* * *

_Run. That's all I knew. Run._

_The moon is really bright tonight, despite the foliage that covered the sky, it was still so bright._

_Damnit._

_Trees couldn't save me…my legs were failing me. _

_I ran deeper and deeper into the forest. It was cold. I was cold. My wand was discarded long ago on the school grounds. _

_Oh god no._

_No. No. No. __I ran right into a clearing. My mind was racing. I couldn't go anywhere else. I was exposed. The wind blew strong and my hair was blown out of my face. The blood that was dripping down my side from the huge gash was catching up with me. I was slowing down. I stopped dead. I couldn't take the pain anymore. I lost a lot of blood. And I was losing to a mutant Vampire. Not even a full one. I needed some form of comfort._

_I looked around confused and scared. I wanted something to cling on. My last moments were upon me. I was hearing the soft footsteps now. That's when my eye caught it. That bright bright star. The star known as Sirius…If I'm going to die, I'll stare at that star and only that star till I breathe my last breath. _

"_I told you that you couldn't run forever." A malice voice called out to me. I didn't bother looking. I just covered my bleeding side, knowing it wouldn't stop him from stealing my scent through his nostrils. But the damage was done. He wanted me. _

_Trying to focus I kept my eyes on that one star. _

_Before I knew it his deep sharp fangs were piercing into my neck. That sound…it was awful I wanted it to stop. The pain…my whole body was aching. Screaming…I wanted to die as I stared at Sirius._

_Then it stopped. I collapsed to the ground as I faintly heard sounds of trashing and fighting going on. _

"_I was too late…Kobato can you hear me?" I didn't recognize the voice. _

"_Yes…"It was a mere whisper if barely that. I wanted to close my eyes. But I couldn't I was still fixed at that star as I laid on the warm summer grass. _

"_You need blood. You lost too much. I can help you." A figure appeared in front of me. He only looked a couple years older than me. So young. So handsome. He was defiantly from the night class. I watched as he cut himself and let blood drip into my mouth. It wasn't as foul as I thought it would be. It was sweet. It was Vampire blood._

_And then I passed out._

_

* * *

_

My eyes snapped open with a start. Clearly that nap was not the best idea. That was no dream; I was re-living my worst memory. I was shaking in my bed and glad that it was just me in the dorm. My hand went up to my neck without me thinking as I pulled the blankets tighter around me. I was going to be sick. The pain was already coming. My chest was hurting. My whole body was starting to ache.

Don't get me wrong I love Trigger for saving me. But because I choice not to be a Vampire I would get sick every so often as my body tried to reject the blood Trigger had used to save me with. Often I would have a potion or end up in the hospital wing for a couple of days. That was at best. But luckily this didn't happen too often.

I trusted only Al and Rose with the information of what happened. What that I could have been a Vampire and all. But right now I had no Al or Rose to comfort me, I honestly had no one…and it left me feeling scared.

I decided staying in the dorm wasn't the best idea, so I choice instead to head down to the common to make my way to the library to see if Snape was there or someone who could make me laugh. I barely noticed where I was going and I reckoned I was a mess. It didn't matter though. I knew Lily wouldn't notice me she was too engrossed in her homework which I had finished long ago. Not that I would bother her anyways. I hated interrupting people who were doing their homework. And Raven was out somewhere practicing. She needed to get this try out. She was so worth it, so I knew bothering her was not worth it. Snape was my best bet. He didn't mind being bothered. He didn't have much contact with females in general.

I walked out of the portrait hole without getting stopped. But then out of nowhere I hit something hard and tall, making me fall to the ground with a painful thud. My eyes were blurred since I was still crying slightly from the dream and now even more because of the discomfort from the fall. My arm went to cover my neck again nervously as I looked up at the figures fear shaking me up still.

It was the last people I wanted to see.

"Stay away!" I screamed looking at Black, Lupin, and Petigrew. I couldn't bear to look at Potter. The sight of him might make me cry even more since I wanted Al. I wanted Al so bad right now. I never thought I'd miss him this much. It was killing me at the current moment. I hadn't realized how much I needed him. And now that he's not here…I wanted someone.

Slowly I backed up by crawling on the ground. Then I shoot up quickly all the while staring down at my feet feeling myself producing several violent coughs. I grabbed my handkerchief and coughed into it several times, knowing blood was pouring into it with each cough.

"Nightray, are you okay?" Lupin asked in a kind and concerned voice. He took a couple steps forward ready to give me a caring hand.

I shook even more at the sound of his gently voice, dropping my bloodied handkerchief in the process. "Perfect" I didn't look up as I spoke, nor did I look up as I cast a full body bind curse at anyone. I didn't care who, and then I ran as far away from there as I could. I ran and ran till I made it to the library. From there I searched and search for Snape. I wasn't having much luck but I did find some Slytherin's grouped in at table in the corner.

"Malfoy?" I asked timidly as I found him sitting at a table with several Slytherin's. I knew he was friends with Snape even if he was in 7th year and Snape was in 5th.

"What do you need Nightray?" He asked in a cold drawling voice before looking up at me. Finally his eyes drew to mine. He was taken aback at first clearly by my appearance but he, whether he was being nice or just didn't care he ignored it.

"Do you know where Snape is?" I asked as sweetly as I could while pulling my hair away from my face, attempting to straighten up my disheveled appearance.

"Probably in the common room last I saw. Mulciber do you know?" Malfoy turned and looked to the dark boy to his side.

"Yeah that sounds about right." The boy named Mulciber answered dully.

"Oh, well thank you anyways." I smiled and gave a little a bow.

"Nightray, why don't you sit with us?" Malfoy smiled wickedly over at me. I hesitated a bit. I didn't have any of my school stuff.

"That's very kind of you but I think I will decline this time. I just needed to ask Snape a question." I answered as sweetly as I could. I knew these guys were pureblood the kind that thought being pureblood was that all mattered.

"We are always here for you…although I'm not sure why you hang around with that mudblood." Malfoy answered sweetly to start with, but ended bitter towards the end. I had no response for it. Why should I? I didn't believe in such things. No one is greater than anyone else. I don't care who you are. We are all human beings or living things to say the least, with a heart.

I just decided on bowing "Thank you. But there are not many choices over in Gryffindor." It was the best I thought I could do. For some odd reason everyone believed I was a pureblood loving freak and it's just an accident I talk to Lily.

"Understandable. You should go back to your dorm in any case you look very sickly." He's voice was sickly kind. I didn't like him at all. Not sure why I bothered asking him, but somehow I didn't mind him as much as Black and Potter.

"Yeah, I think I will." I smiled and turned to leave. I didn't make it very far.

"Well, well, well. It's the child wonder."

Victoria and her posy, great just as I'm feeling miserable already…

"Not now…" I mumbled.

"What was that? You are so hard to hear, what with me up here and you down there."She measured herself up then put her hand down to her hips, even though I came to at least her chest. "I'm surprised you're not a first year." She laughed letting the girls around her laughed with her "You must buy all your clothing in the child section." Her voice made me sick. Her comments made me feel even worse. I _had _to buy my clothing in the child section. Or mom would make them for me. I'm too small for anything else… But these jokes were getting old…regardless that didn't stop them from hurting me.

She picked up the habit, along with her girls, of making fun of me on regular basis because I hate Black, their looove. (Although I doubt they love him and rather love his looks instead…his personality is really dreadful but that's just me). Not only that I hate him…I would assume it is also because I enjoy hexing him, that probably annoys them the most. I shouldn't be sending their Sirius into the hospital wing all the time, so far it's been once a week...you know instead I should be like them, I should be worshiping the ground he walks on…yeah fat chance. Not with his big fat ugly head.

"Look lit-" What she was about to say I didn't find out. She was hit with a curse, but I didn't cast it. I didn't see anyone around either. The hallway was empty when I looked around.

"Vitoria are you okay?" Many of her girlfriends shrieked.

I took the chance to escape. My mind was already feeling weak. My heart even weaker as my feet dragged me forward to the first empty secret passage I could find. From there I collapsed on the ground letting the sorrow from missing my friends, to my dream, to the cruelty around me engulf me as I cried and cried.

* * *

"Sorry I let you sleep through charms, you looked really sick last night. And Remus said you weren't feeling so good." Lily smiled as I took a seat next to her in the great hall for lunch.

"Don't worry about it Lily" I returned the smile. And ignored the Remus part.

"Are you at least feeling better?" She searched my face for any sign that I was doing better at all. "Because I can take you to th-"

I cut her off. "No, I'm doing better" I nodded reassuringly, but I couldn't help let out a sigh. _They _were sitting close to us. Meaning the gigglers are extra close as well.

"Yeah they've been extra bad today. Black got his hair cut and is to die for apparently." Lily rolled her eyes. "The girls have been absolutely horrid."

I looked over at him; sure enough the boys must have cut his hair. Of course when I looked over his black eyes met my aqua blue ones that would happen to me. From there he then proceeded to nod over to Lupin who decided to get up and walk towards Lily and I. Quickly I looked away, it didn't help though. Soon Lupin was over at my side.

"Could I have a word, Nightray?" Lupin questioned. He was always so nice. How could I say no? I mean I could have just been like 'No I'm busy' but that would be lying. I was only eating lunch.

Begrudgingly I got up and followed him to an empty classroom. Casually he took a seat on one of the desk, but still he was taller than me. I knew I'd have trouble getting on the desk so I just sat in the chair that belonged to the desk he was sitting in. Still my feet barely touched the ground. It was enough to make you sigh.

My eyes wondered over to Lupin. He was holding my handkerchief in his hand. It didn't have any blood on it anymore.

"Are you feeling better?" He was looking down at me with a warm smile on his face. Considering his friends were jerks half the time, Lupin was very nice. I never had any problems with him.

"I didn't even feel sick yesterday." I returned the smile as best I could. I knew I was failing. I was still pale, still tired, and still weak.

"You don't have to pretend, Nightray." Lupin sighed. "You don't always need to be so strong, you are after all only human." I didn't meet his gaze as he tried searching my eyes for something. Rather I looked at my feet which I was busy nervously kicking them under the desk. "We saw you, you were a mess…and I'm not stupid, there was blood on this." He put the handkerchief under my eyes.

"I know you're not stupid. We…I mean." I sat there searching for the words while ripping the handkerchief out of his hands. "We aren't even on a first name basis."

"I'm Remus Lupin, it's a pleasure to met you." His voice was genuine. It wasn't like how when Black and Potter introduced themselves, his was kind and sincere. Not like in Black's case and wanting another chick to add to his list that he had seduced. No, Remus, was much nicer. He held out his hand which I for some odd reason found myself taking. His grip was just as gentle as he was. He didn't shake my hand rather gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"I'm Kobato C-Nightray." I smiled hoping he didn't notice my mess up. I was about to say Cross, even if people have been calling me Nightray the past 2 weeks, that doesn't make it any easier to remember.

"Kobato…" He said my name softly before letting go of my hand "I know you have Lily and Raven too" He looked down at the corner of the desk, looking nervous for some odd reason. "But if you ever need anything…I can help you too."

I nodded. "There's just a lot more too me then meets the eye" I winked. "I'm not just some fifteen year old who looks like she's ten."

Remus laughed. "No you're a lot stronger than the fan girl's give you credit for."

I smiled at him before opening the door. "You're alright." I stopped quickly to look at him before leaving. Then turned and left without a true farewell. We would see each other all day in class.

From there I met up with Lily and headed to double Transfiguration. Which was rather dull…we were just changing the colors of the flowers in front of us. I had succeeded in doing it in the first minute and thus earning 20 points for Gryffindor. I couldn't help but wondering what would happen after Christmas break. I wouldn't be as good by then seeing as I wouldn't have already done it. Maybe I should just skip ahead so this is always easy. Just a thought…

"Why aren't you in Ravenclaw?" Lily said frustrated that I was able to do it and she was not.

I just shrugged and went back to changing the flowers colors for about the 1,000 time, growing more and more bored. Which I knew was never a good thing. When I got bored I did stupid things. Oh were the ideas flowing into my head. It didn't help that I was still weirded out by what Remus said.

I was starting to call him Remus since he felt we should be on a first name basis. And I didn't mind it at all. Except throughout class he was sending worried looks over at me, so I had to avoid his gaze. So avoiding his gaze and attempting not to do some disastrous was harder than you would think. That's when I 'accidently' blew up Black's pot of flowers in his face. He didn't notice it was me the first time. The second time after he repaired it he threw the nastiest glare at me then proceed to blow mine up. This went on for about five minutes, till we both grew bored and start to have our flower pots duel. For some odd reason Professor McGonagall was not in the room. So this was by far the best choice we could be doing.

"Take that Shorty!" Black hollered at me as our pots gave a definite clank of glass. The whole class was watching in amusement seeing who would get hurt first, Black or me? Usually it was Black. You think by now McGonagall would learn not to leave the two of us in a room without supervision.

"Fat chance Pureblood!" I sneered back at him.

Crash and clank our pots went till finally my mind slipped as I heard McGonagall coming back into the room. The second I looked away was the second I lost. Both Blacks pot and my pot came crashing in front of me shattering glass all over me leaving cuts and wounds everywhere.

"SIRIUS BLACK TO MY OFFICE NOW" McGonagall was raged. "Potter, take Miss Nightray to the hospital wing. The rest of you back to work." He nostrils were flared she meant business. I didn't dare question. Though I was so scared, I didn't like Potter and he wasn't the one I would have picked to take me to the hospital wing. But at this point I couldn't argue. I was losing a lot of blood, blood that I needed especially since I was having an attack yesterday and part of a today.

Potter and I made our way to the hallway. I stood close to him and tried my best to just pretend that he was Al. I was starting to shake though and my hand instinctively went up to my neck.

"Why do you do that? Always put your hand on your neck I mean." Potter looked over at me. For once he didn't have a selfish look in his eyes. He looked truly sorry. He looked like Al.

I didn't know what took over me but I reached out and grabbed his hand. "Humor me." I pleaded.

"I'm James Freakn Potter. It's what I live for darling." He winked with that cocky look on his face. "Sorry to say though…" He took a dramatic pause.

"Yes?" I questioned still holding his hand as my body began to shake in pain and my head began to get dizzy from blood loss.

"I can't take you to a broom closet to snog. I hear it's all the _raaage_ instead of going to the hospital wing. But alas my heart is reserved for Lily Evans _only_." He was dead serious as he spoke. I on the other hand burst out laughing.

"You don't believe I snogged Snape?" I said well wiping the tears that had formed from laughing so hard.

"I don't know. Sirius is pretty convinced you _did_." He nodded in all seriousness.

"Right because you know that's what I do. I make out with people." I laughed. "I guess I'll just have to imperius you. To the broom closet we go!"

"I knew you were an evil pureblood. Sirius has good judgment." Potter nodded wisely. I was actually starting to be grateful it was him who took me to the hospital. Once he wasn't being arrogant he was actually a lot like Al.

I looked down at my feet felling tears come up. I missed Al and Rose way too much. The sad part is they won't even miss me. I probably haven't even been gone a minute for them.

"You okay? I didn't mean it. You're really nice." Potter looked at me concerned.

"No, I know." I sniffled pulling my hand away from his to wipe my face. I probably made it worse though as I got blood on my face. "That made me sound like you, Arrogant" I said using my nickname for him "I meant I know you didn't mean to hurt me" I looked down at my feet. "I just miss home." I smiled weakly.

"Remus is right you are human despite you acting so tough all the time." Potter laughed.

"Tell Black and I'll hex you all the way to America." I threaten meaning every word. "Anything that has happened from the minute we left the classroom to the moment you leave me in the hospital wing."

"Keep your knickers on." He shoved me playfully before grabbing my arm again to support me since I was starting to shake again. "You still feeling ill? You were awful yesterday."

I didn't get to answer his question. I was shaking and I felt the urge to cough. Searching my pockets I looked for my handkerchief and coughed freely into it. Potter stopped until I was ready to move on. We didn't talk the rest of the way to the hospital wing, despite the fact I know he saw me cough up blood.

* * *

"I need you to tell me exactly what is wrong with you. Since you refuse to tell Poppy, could you at least tell me?" Dumbledore peered down at me. His blue eyes sparkling with a smile but I couldn't move. I didn't want to talk about it.

"I'm not going to die." I was getting annoyed. I knew I was okay but Potter blabbed that I've been coughing blood and being sick in general. Although I'm sure Madam Pomfery didn't need him to tell her that, I passed out when I got there. Once I woke up I merely responded with 'It's normal' because I wanted to be left alone. The only way I would get better is to become a Vampire and I didn't want too. Not yet at least.

"We can help you." Dumbledore was being really sweet. I was rather annoyed. Yes I respected him and all but I seriously was not in the mood. I knew I'd probably regret this later but I got up from the hospital bed and walked out of the hospital wing in my night gown. Dumbledore didn't follow. I was grateful. I knew he understood that I wasn't going to die but he still wanted to help me since he knew I was on a mission. I think he just wanted to make it easier. At the moment I just wanted to get back to my dorm and sleep in my bed even though it was 12 am.

For being 12 am on a Friday the common room was seriously dead. I think it had to do with the fact that Quidditch tryouts for Gryffidor were tomorrow. The only people who were up were Potter, Black, and Remus. Pettigrew must have already gone to bed. If that was his name, I'm pretty sure I've only heard him say a couple of words if that.

I walked over to them feeling it was the right thing to do. I bowed my head slightly in front of Potter.

"Thank you…I heard you saved my head from great danger" I smirked playfully "Which would have been a shame it's really a beautiful head." I flipped my hair confidently, in a tone that matched Black's pompous behavior.

Black snorted, while Remus shot a glare directed at Black and Potter laughed.

"You're welcome. Did they really release you at this hour?" Potter questioned.

"No, I walked out" I blushed. "But that's our secret." I winked well covering my mouth with my index finger and did a small shhh.

"You should really go back" Potter folded his arms, clearly he was upset. "You're in no shape, you could have died."

I pulled out my wand at his words and pointed it at him. My anger flaring up "Potter, is your brain really that small? What did I say?" He didn't flinch as I pushed my wand up against his throat. He got up slowly from the chair. It was just him and I now. Black and Remus had backed up. "I keep my promises." I said in a harsh whisper.

"Kobato-" Potter started.

I cut him off "Nightray, don't say my first name."

"Nightray, listen calm down." Potter smiled moving my wand away from his face with his hand, which wasn't hard to do. I had to stand on my tippy toes to get it up there. He was tall.

"I'm listening." I said but I kept my wand out.

"Go to bed for now. In the morning we will forget everything that happened today."

It was hard to see his face in the dim lighting of the common room. Regardless I narrowed my eyes in his direction and dropped my wand. Soon I found my lips forming into a smirk.

"Doesn't make any difference to me" I paused before I inched forward to grab Potter's shirt. Pulling him closer to me I let out a heavy sigh "Not like that snog was any good." I then pushed him away. "I don't see what the fuss is about. If you're that awful think of how bad Black must be." With a wicked grin I left the common room staring at the dumbfound faces of Black and Remus.


	4. Chapter 4: Differences

Chapter 4: I'll show you what is different between you and me

**A/N: So there's a big blizzard tomorrow and classes have been canceled so I'm going to try and get another chapter done tomorrow. We can hope I do that right? And thanks for all the reviews and watches. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not know zee Harry Potter. **

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* * *

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I never really know how I didn't get in trouble with walking away from Dumbledore. Nor did I care…I was having a hard time wanting to actually try and like Black it was awful. And I feel the real reason I hated Potter was because he looked so much like Al that I was frustrated he wasn't Al. If that makes sense…I guess I was just lonely for attention. But the weeks after the tryouts leading up to the first hogsmeade visit proved to be some of the best in my '5th' year. Maybe it's because I actually tried to take care of my mission or maybe it was because I was attempting not to be weighed down by what I didn't have and took what I did have. And what I did have was Lily, Raven, and Remus. And after the class where Potter took me to the hospital wing, I was finding more and more I had him. He started acting like an older brother at times. It's hard to say what I mean…

* * *

"Rav you'll do fine!" I smiled piling some bacon on her plate.

"Easy for you to say! You're not trying out" Raven was panicking and she only had about an hour before the Gryffindor tryouts started.

"Kobato's right, you'll do fine. You're amazing" Lily smiled adding some more food to Raven's plate.

"No no no…I didn't practice far enough. I didn't get any in last night…"She sighed heavily. It was my fault she didn't practice. They worried about me since I never came back from the hospital wing and Potter kept saying that it was classified information.

"I'm sorry I thought it was much better to snog and not tell." I laughed trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh please we know you wouldn't snog Potter." Lily rolled her eyes.

Raven gave a weak smile. "I don't know she did snog with Snape."

"Ummm about Severus …" Lily looked down shyly. "You sure it is okay that I don't go to tryouts? I can always do homework with him later…"

"Don't worry about it. You being there would make me more nervous." Raven then turned and looked at me. "You better not becoming either, knowing you guys were there would make it harder."

"Oh…But I was trying out." I pouted my lip. "I guess I won't be a chaser this year." There was a long dramatic pause in which I pretended to be pouting.

"As much as I would like to see you be a chaser, you aren't allowed to tryout Nightray." Potter said sternly as he took a seat next to Lily.

"I'm pretty sure you can't stop me from trying out, Potter." I glared over at him, trying not to notice that Black took the open seat next to me. Just my luck seeing as Remus took the seat next to Raven instead of me. And Pettigrew took the other seat next to Lily. "I have blackmail on you, remember?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Blackmail?" He questioned looking confused.

I leaned forward a bit seeing as he was across from me directly. "The broom closet ring a bell?"

His eyes widened. "You wouldn't…no one would believe you." Potter stopped for a moment the peaked under the table. "And you're…you're in a dress! You wouldn't try out in a dress."

I shrugged and then kicked his leg hard for looking under the table "It's a longer dress besides that's my plan. Distracting everyone so I get on the team" I smirked playfully. "Anyways did you actually need something?"

"Oh right!" Potter went from his 'Normal' self to his Lily self. "Lily are you coming to see me at tryouts today?" He looked over at her hopefully. He was acting like an excited puppy in a way. It was a little bit annoying but his effort could have been adorable. Could have been if Lily cared for him.

"No Potter, I'm hanging out with Severus." Lily smiled happily that she had a real excuse not to be around him instead of lying to him. Lily hated lying even if it was Potter.

Potter's face contorted into anger. It took him a moment to gain his composure. Finally he spoke "I'm much better than him, you must know that by now."

Way to prove your point.

"Kobato didn't you say you had to take your meds?" Lily looked up at me pushing her plate away.

"Oh yes, let's go do that." I smiled getting up as well. "I'll see you on the field Rav!" I winked over at her, not before noticing the odd look Black was giving me. I returned his look with a nasty glare.

Together Lily and I made our way out of the great hall while she waited for Snape to finish breakfast.

"That was a total lie Lily." I laughed as we took a seat on the floor closer towards the dungeons where she was meeting Snape.

"Not really, I saw you drinking a vial this morning. I mean you already took it but you do have medication" She blushed "So it's only a half of a lie."

"I suppose that's true." I took a deep breath "If you aren't going to the tryouts who will I sit by now?" I questioned to no one.

"You could always sit with Black, he never tries out. He just watches Potter."

Lily and I laughed at her little joke.

"Why don't you just do homework with us?" Snape snuck up on both of us making us jump.

"Jeez Snape, give us some warning!" I said while grabbing my heart. He gave me a good fright. He is so good at sneaking up behind people.

"Sorry, just saying." He held out a hand to help Lily up. She gladly took it. I however got up on my own.

"No that's okay. Someone needs to be there for Rav." I smiled "Thanks for the offer anyways. I better get headed down." I turned to leave "later!"

"Bye!" Lily and Snape said at the same time.

I smiled they were so cute together. I wish I could find someone like that. I sighed as I made my way down by myself. The stands were crowed for once. All of them weren't opened up, but as luck would have it the only open spot was the row where Remus, Pettigrew and Black were. I think it was a written rule between the girls that no one could sit by precious Black since then it wouldn't be fair to everyone. But I didn't have to go by their stupid code, so I begrudgingly took a seat next to Remus, which meant that Black was right there on the other side of Remus.

"It's okay if I sit here Remus?" I asked timidly as girls glared all around me.

"Lily's seriously not coming?" He asked looking behind me.

"No just me." I sighed heavily.

"I thought you were trying out, _Nightray_." Black sneered.

I didn't respond to him. I actually wanted to watch this and make it through without killing Black. "Did I miss anything yet?" I noticed they were already flying I was worried about Rav, I knew she'd do fine she was just nervous.

"No not really." It was Pettigrew who answered. My mouth opened a bit before I released that I was being rude.

"Oh I'm sorry. I don't think we've actually formally met." I leaned forward to Pettigrew who was on the other side of Black. Ignoring Black's scowl was harder than you think. "I'm Kobato Cro-"I coughed a bit to try and cover up my mistake "Nightray, Kobato Nightray." I smiled as warmly as I could. He gladly took my hand.

"Peter Pettigrew." He shook my hand vigorously. It scared me just a bit.

None of us said anything after that point. Instead we watched the tryouts closely. I was so excited for Rav. She was doing so well and I wondered how she wouldn't make the team. I silently cheered her on so she wouldn't notice my excitement and possibly lose her concentration. But as I figured would happen I didn't get to watch all the tryouts. About an hour into them one of Victoria's girls, Taylor, bumped me harshly from behind spilling what I assumed to be pumpkin juice all over the front of my dress.

Laughing shrilly "Oh I'm sorry I didn't _see _you there."

Her words hit me hard. Again with the short thing…Remus noticed me reach for my wand. He reached forward and gave my hand a small squeeze. I put my wand back where it belonged in my knee high on my right leg. He hated how violent I was. Fine I can solve it with words.

"I'm sorry did you say something?" I turned around with my best glare. "I just have a hard time understanding bad-mannerisms" I heard a couple of snickers come from around me.

"You little-"

I cut her off "I'm not the one still in a training bra." I smirked wildly well getting up to face her. The look on Taylor's face was priceless. She was livid.

Taylor must have forgotten her wand because in one quick motion she threw her fist at my face which collided with a ton of force. It was with enough force to make me loss my balance. And off I fell over the railing. My reflexes were fast enough that I was able to grab on to the side railing with just one hand, I hung there trying not to scream where as the people around me were screaming and panicking.

"HELP!" Several girls yelled. "Nightray!" Some even cried out. It was mainly girls panicking oddly enough. Of course there were really only girls here.

I didn't see the point, in panicking that is. I was about to pull myself up when Black held out a hand for me to take.

"Grab it." His voice was his usual voice with me, rough and annoyed.

"No." I protested. Last person I wanted help from was him.

"You're losing grip. Just _grab_ it Nightray." He spat at me. His words couldn't be any truer. I was losing grip easily. No one else was moving forward. Everyone who was trying out stopped flying and was watching the spectacle as well. It must have been a sight to see at that. Me hanging there and Black my enemy trying to help me. "Nightray, I'm serious now." He waved his hand closer to me.

"I know you are serious." I rolled my eyes with how much a pun his name made. "But I am too, I don't want your help." There went another finger. I was about to fall. I'm too stubborn. Besides I'm just not concentrating hard enough. I can get myself up. I didn't need any help. Especially not from this prick…no I refuse him with every fiber in my being.

I started swaying my body back in forth to help me get momentum. I wanted to prove that I didn't need Black's help. I'm not just a little girl. I'm fifteen years old!

"Stop it you're going to fall!" Black was panicking now. Seeing the look in his eyes was upsetting me. He was just about to reach forward and grab my wrist when I completely let go feeling I had enough momentum. My body was propelled in the air and just as fast as I let go I flew and landed right on top of Black knocking him over.

It was not the landing I wanted. It knocked the wind out of me making me cough blood on his nice white button up shirt. Fantastic.

Angered, Black pushed me off and stood up. I followed the motion and stood up as well. Both of us were glaring at each other in full force.

"You little punk!" He shouted at me pulling his wand out. "You could have died!"

"Pompous! I told you I didn't need your help!" I spat back pulling my wand out and pointing it at him. If he wanted a duel, fine!

"Didn't need my help? Didn't need my help?" His voice sounded desperate. His face was wild as he brandished his wand about.

"I never asked for it now did I?" I suppose my face was just as wild.

"You two stop it." Remus stepped forward in between the two of us before we cast a spell. Both Black and I looked at him without a care, discarding our wands we launched at each other and started punching and kicking whatever we could. I was starting to bleed as was Black. But eventually I felt someone pull me off of him.

"NO LET ME AT HIM! I HATE HIM…I HATE HIM!" I shouted as I tried to kick away from the person who thought it fit to throw me over their shoulder. I finally opened my eyes to see Remus and Pettigrew holding Black. His face and body was as bad as mine felt.

"YOU STUBBORN LITTLE PIECE-"Black didn't get to finish, Remus covered his mouth. And who ever threw me over their shoulder was carrying me away.

"Clearwater can you take my broom to the common room." It was Potter. He was carrying me. _Just. My. Luck. _

"Yeah sure, do you not want me to go with you?" I watched Raven run forward towards us. I finally stopped struggling, mainly because I was trying not to get blood on Potter between the fat lip and me coughing up more blood. I was starting to feel exhausted.

"No, I got her. She's straining herself too much." Potter hoisted me a bit higher on his shoulder. "Remus I'm going to take her back to the Gryffindor tower. Give me at least three hours, okay?"

"Got it" Remus sounded serious and a bit worried. "I'll keep her wand." He added as an afterthought. He and Pettigrew were still struggling a bit under Black's fight that he was putting up.

Once we made our way out on the grounds I finally spoke. "Potter I coughed "I can make it…you can put me down." I coughed again. It was hard not to get blood on him. He didn't need me as a burden right now.

"You're sick. I refuse." He hoisted me higher up on his shoulder.

I punched him pointlessly in the back. We were inching closer to the castle.

"I'm fine." I coughed again. Darn cough was making me lose this argument. "Seriously, I won't die. Too stubborn in case you missed that." I smirked.

"Dumbledore said you kept throwing up the blood replenishing potion." Potter stated showing concern.

"Well of course I would, what else is new" I rolled my eyes as if it was obvious. To him it wasn't. But he sounded like Al when he wasn't being arrogant. He smelled like Al…He might as well have been Al. "Anyways we aren't talking about this here." I caved in and rested my head on his shoulder as we headed up some stairs. "You sure you can handle me? I'm 90 pounds." I questioned gingerly.

"You're a doll, I've got it." He patted my legs which he was gripping tightly as to not let me slip.

"Alright…"I sighed.

Slowly we made our way up to the Gryffindor tower. The people who stayed in the common room at the sight of Potter and I all stopped what they were doing to watch him pull a bloody and bruised me up to the boys dorm.

We made it in the 5th year boy dorm and he set me gently down on his bed, grabbed some of his things, and walked to the bathroom. I sat there in amazement. There were experiments, candy, clothing, and joke products scattered on the floor. On the walls were muggle posters of girls, motorcycles, and qudditch teams. There was even a lunar chart (Which was about the most scholarly thing in this whole dorm) and to my amusement a picture of Lily hiding from the camera.

"Put this on so I can treat your wounds." He smiled over at me holding a giant t-shirt of his. I nodded and closed the curtains around me to change, while he put a bowl of warm water down. I discarded my dress and threw on the qudditch shirt he gave me which fell to my knees with how short I was compared to Potter. Once I was done I opened the curtains trying not to sniff the shirt that smelt so heavenly.

"Stay still, Nightray." He smiled warmly in front of me as he kneeled down to treat my face first. "So what happened? Why all the bruises and you hanging off of a stand?" Then a thought dawned on him "Sirius didn't do that right, push you off that is?"

"No he-OW!" I groaned as he went over my bruise from Taylor "Al that hurts"

"I'm James, this Al better be good looking or I'll be insulted." I gasped at his words. He didn't seem upset to be honest I thought he looked happy.

"Sorry…you just look like Al and if I think you are Al it's easier for me to be nicer to you." I said truthfully.

"I'm I that much of a prick to you?" He questioned, his eyes dancing on the verge of pain.

"I…" My words were stuck. I couldn't find the right way to put what annoys me most about him. I know I couldn't tell him it's because he is Al's grandfather and I wish he was just like Al. "When you are around Lily it's hard not to think of you as the world's biggest prick."

I regretted saying it the minute it came out. His face fell flat and he was truly upset. He must have really liked Lily. And it was odd considering all the girls he could have had and how much he knows how to make them fall for them. He can't get the one he wants to fall for him. I wonder if when Sirius falls in love it will be like that. Everyone always knows Sirius just takes a good snog and calls it a day. He can't really stay with a girl for that long. He's already been through three different girls and its only been about a month.

I decided to help him forget it for a moment. "Why are you being so nice to me anyways?"

He was silent for a moment as he ran the rag out over the now faint red water. Then he went back to wiping my face gently, then stopped and threw the rag in the water so he could take a seat next to me. "I don't know." He let out a big sigh "It's like, I'm drawn too you. But not in a love sense, I still love Lily that is." He paused again. I feel like I knew what he meant. I was a big part of his future, if not his through his kids and grandkids. "It's like you're my long lost sister." He smiled at me before pulling out his wand to ease the pain on my cuts. "Or I'm crazy."

"James, I feel it too." I reached out and grabbed his hand that he was using with his wand and gave it a loving squeeze. "Thank you, for all this."

His face lit up "Can I call you Kobato, it's a beautiful name." He stopped for a moment before lying down on the bed "Hmmm how about Ko! That sounds cute."

"Hmmm how about I shove my foot up yo-"

He cut me off with my nasty glare "Nightray it is!" He clapped cheerfully.

There was a long pause were I coughed a bit before lying down next to him on his bed. Al and I used to do this all the time while Rose was fretting over her homework. We'd come in here and talk and laugh. It was such a comfort right now after what happened.

I coughed a bit more before Potter talked "So what happened?"

"Apparently saying 'at least I'm not in a training bra' to one of the fan girls in front of Sirius is a _bad_ idea" I smirked while looking over at him. He was laughing pretty hard. "For future reference, you know when you and some of Sirius admires are comparing cup sizes. Since I know you are a Sirius fangirl and not a James fangirl."

James laughed even harder "Of course, have you seen Sirius with his shirt off? I look forward to it every morning!"

I glared at him before smacking a pillow in his face.

"Alright alright alright!" He groaned after the fifth or sixth hit. "Who was it? Do you know by chance?"

I dropped the pillow and thought for a moment "Taylor…Taylor Renue? I believe she is a 3rd year Gryffindor."

"The redheaded freckled one?" Potter looked over at me "Flat chest too?"

"That's the one."

Potter laughed he seemed like he was picturing a fight between me and her. "3rd years to low for Sirius, he likes them older…well or so I'm told. I'm not allowed to watch his snog sessions anymore. Last time I did the girl hexed me."

I rolled my eyes and laughed really hard "I couldn't imagine why." I said through laughs.

"She didn't like my commentary." He smirked before going on "And Ashley Celain goes in for a kiss. Boy she's a determined one, look at the use of her tongue. Such technique!"

I was laughing so hard I was crying now. James joined in remembering a great memory. From there we spent the whole day talking and laughing. It was a great relief. Then during a story he was sharing with me I must have fallen asleep. He was a lot of fun. I was regretting making a big fuss and fighting with Black all the time. If James wasn't this bad maybe Black was pretty cool too. Maybe….I just hated how arrogant and pompous they are when other people are around.

When I finally came around there were voices talking and it was a bit dark out.

"Is it safe to come in?" It was Remus, I didn't move from the bed, I was snuggled and still trying to sleep. Today really wore me out. "James must not be in here, come on Padfoot."

"Good I can get out of this bloody shirt." Black sighed a sigh of relief. I felt him close to me. His bed would be the one next to James'.

"I can't believe your luck, you get beat up by one of the hottest girls in the school and what do you get out of it? A good snog from a hot girl giving sympathy" Peter sighed at Black's luck.

"Nightray is that you?" I heard James question. I stirred then only too look up to see Black in just his boxers.

"You…you…you have abs!" I screamed and jumped out of James' bed. Black wasn't mortified at all. He just smirked over at me. Once he saw me his reaction was pretty close to the same as mine. He jumped backwards onto his bed.

"You…you have legs!" He squeaked in a much higher voice then I was aware of him having, as he finally realized I wasn't wear pants and that I was just in James' t-shirt.

I pointed to the door a couple of times before running out. How did they not notice me in the bed? I should have gotten up the minute they spoke to save my life from embarrassment. I was more embarrassed then, then when I went down to the common room in just a shirt.

* * *

From Saturday night on the rumors spread that James and I had a good snog and Black found out and out of jealousy he threw me out (Jealousy that James was kissing me…not that I was kissing James…though sometimes I wonder if he would get jealous if James found someone instead of obsession over Lily). Soon those were squashed when Black started dating Ambrosia Goldstien, a 7th year Ravenclaw. This happened somewhere around Monday evening, so the rumors were still going up to that point and they rather annoyed me. James had no problem squashing them by stalking Lily around to her disliking.

It was now Tuesday evening Lily, Raven, and I _were, _keyword being were, enjoying a peaceful dinner.

"I can't believe Slughorn is making us do an essay before we can start the potion." Raven complained since we just got out of a nasty Potions lesson.

We didn't actually make anything we sat there discussing the uses of Vampire Reflex Potion, which is a complex potion to make in the first place, I would know. So I fully understood why we had to talk about it and write an essay on it. But what wasn't fair to most of the students was that we hadn't learned about Vampires in DADA. Which I wasn't too thrilled about once we got to Vampires, yes I may have been an expert, but I didn't want it to open my past even more…I mean someone was bound to notice my symptoms as suffering from Vampire Reflex…someone. So needless to say this early surprise was making me upset.

"It makes sense though." I said before taking a huge bite out of my potatoes.

"You were amazing! How do you know all that about the potion?" Lily asked, forming a good blush on my face.

"Well I went to Cross Academy. Vampires are well known in that area." I tried hiding my face.

"But still…" Lily sighed, I knew it was because she loved being on top of everything. Though that was hard because Potter and Black were brilliant, Snape wasn't too bad at things, and I've been really good on a lot of things we've been learning mainly because I learned it already.

"We will just have a big study session tonight." Raven patted my back happily. I gave her a reproachful look. "Whaaat, you know you love us" She smiled happily.

"Alright fine" I faked a heavy sigh. "So Lily are you really going to Slughorn's party this Friday?" I questioned changing the subject.

"I don't know are you? I know you got invited too." Lily seemed troubled by the whole event. We knew she was one of Slughorn's favorites but she hated going to things like that. Especially when James was involved, she just wanted to stay away.

"Well, I'd feel bad for Raven." I turned to her "Want to be my date? We'd make a cute couple if I do say so myself."

"No offense mate, but I'd prefer Lily." She laughed.

"Hurt…simply hurt." I sighed. "You kn-" I didn't get to finish. There was a gentle tap on my shoulder.

"Nightray?" I turned to see Malfoy looking at me with the most curious look on his face. "Goodness what happened to your face? That bruise is awful."

I forgot that bruise was even there. I still had some from Black and that horrid woman Taylor. "Oh uhhh Taylor Renue punched me in the face. Didn't you hear?" I questioned all the while wondering why he was here.

"I darest say I did not. Isn't she that mudblood in Gryffindor?" He raised an eyebrow while looking around seeing if he could find her at the table.

"Most likely." I nodded not really sure what to say.

"Anyways, why don't you come sit by us? There's someone I want you to meet." He held out a hand for me to take. I gave Lily and Raven a pleading look. They didn't know what to do. So I took the hand unwillingly and followed Malfoy to the Slytherin table.

I recognized some of the people he was sitting with. A lot of them were Death Eater wannabes from what I understood. There was the Carrow's, Mulciber, Snape, and Avery. There was a boy there I didn't know. He was very handsome, in my mind at least. Although the more I stared at him the more he looked like Black. His hair was a lot shorter then Black's shaggy long hair. And his face wasn't as sculpted it rather had some of the childish baby fat on it making him look adorable in my mind. I didn't find out his surname, Malfoy just introduced everyone I already knew and blew over the boy. But he wasn't talking with the group. He was talking to some other Slytherin's.

"Carrow isn't Renue in your class?" Malfoy looked up at the male Carrow, I couldn't recall his first name nor did I care to remember.

"Renue? That Gryffindor scum?" He looked up from his food looking disgusted at the name. "Yeah she's in my class why?"

"She gave Nightray that bruise there." He pointed to my face.

"All of those? That mudblood." Carrow looked upset. For someone who didn't know me it was weird. Maybe it was because I'm a pureblood, maybe. Or I'm a piece of meat. That's probably it, a pureblood piece of meat. From what I hear back in the day well in the day I'm in now and in Harry's time the purebloods were a lot stricter and the females were just selected for breeding. God I'm not a candidate. I'm here to save that scum Black not be sold for pureblood reproducing purposes.

"Well no, she gave me this one" I pointed to the one on my cheek. "This one right here" I pointed to my eye "That was from Black." I scowled. "He upsets me so much." I narrowed my eyes at the thought.

Malfoy patted me on the back "More and more he's becoming a blood traitor. Mr. Black is upset at least they have one good son."

"Yeah…" I sighed and looked over at Snape. I didn't want to be here. And I kept trying to convey that message, but it wasn't working.

I spent the rest of dinner with them talking. They had a million questions for me. I on the other hand was barely there. All I could do was try and make them happy with what I think would be good responses. Call me a coward, but I didn't want them to be my enemies for no reason. My answers probably weren't that good since I kept staring at that boy. I want his name. I'm pretty sure at one point I heard someone say "Regulus". I kept noticing how built he was but yet tiny at the same time. He looked defiantly like a quidditch player.

Seeing as I stared at him most of the time I couldn't complain, but I wanted Lily's and Rav's company. We never finished talking about Slughorn's party and coming up next month was a hogsmeade visit, it was just announced this morning. Although to be honest I was nervous for that. I'd never lived during a war. And apparently according to Lily's reports from the morning prophets attacks' and such were on the rise. It was scaring me somehow. I knew I could hold my own and that I was safe in the castle. But it was….well it was scary.

And over the next couple of weeks I'd find it harder and harder to shake the Death Eater wannabes. Although I was starting to learn that some of them already were lined up to be Death Eaters. They trusted me and respected me because I was a pureblood. But constantly they questioned why I was friends with Lily. And soon it was a couple days until the Hogsmeade visit. Lily got a date with Darren McLean, a 5th year Hufflepuff. And Raven landed one with the Ravenclaw Beater Andrew Lagging.

I wasn't so lucky. I did get asked but there was only one person I wanted to go with. And at the moment I had no clue if he was with someone or not. And I knew James wouldn't be happy with me. He was already getting upset that I couldn't turn down the Slytherin's. That's when the argument came on Thursday night, two days before the hogsmeade visit.

James and I were walking in some hallway together wondering around the castle after dinner.

"I'm at least happy you don't have a date, you can hang out with Remus, Peter, and I. Sirius has got a mad snog session with Ambrosia planned." James rolled his eyes annoyed.

"Well, I kinda…I" I started mumbling.

"What?" James looked over at me "Is there someone you want to go with? You know you need my approval first." He said seriously.

"I...There's a Slytherin I'm interested in…" I whispered while shyly looked away afraid to admit it. He was going to be upset.

"God no, Kobato…who?" He stopped walking now. I didn't dare look at him. He took a couple steps in front of me to stop me from going on.

"I only know his first name. I doubt you'll know who he is." I said while pushing him aside, walking into a secret passage. It took a moment to notice to figures making out in it. Oh god of course. James plowed in ignoring the figures.

"Who Kobato?" He was angry but yet his voice sounded worried. I wish he wouldn't persist in front of this couple. James and I were a bit of secret friends and well if this couple was making out this would be the last thing they wanted to hear. I watched as the two looked up at us. James lit his wand and shined it on my face.

"I…James no. I'm not telling you." I tried to storm off but he blocked my path so I walked by the couple to get away. James wouldn't let me. He grabbed my arm as gently as he could and pulled me toward him. But not before I noticed who the couple was. Ambrosia and Black, just great.

"I just want to know." He was trying to be calm he ignored his mate over there and was still focusing on me. He got down on one knee so he'd be level with me. "Please."

"Why do you care anyways who I date while your best mate is off snogging any woman he please? I can take care of myself." I pushed him over and ran off towards the library, blindly.

I finally made it to the library and grabbed a Transfiguration on human transfiguration to read on and found myself a quiet table and read, even if I already had an animgus form, it couldn't hurt to read more.

"You okay?" Someone asked me. I had never heard their voice before. I wondered who it was as I looked up from the Transfiguration book I was reading. It was him, it was that boy. Regulus. "It's Nightray right? Care to talk?"

He was nice. Really nice for which house he came in. I was startled for a moment before I spoke. "Oh go ahead and sit. No I'm fine." I smiled warmly over at him. "I only know your first name, its Regulus right?"

"Yes it is. You're a sharp girl." He stated "Glad to see your bruises are gone, though I hear Sirius keeps giving you more." He sighed hanging his head slightly as if ashamed.

"Oh, yeah I guess. He and I have rows almost every week about something." I laughed remembering this morning. "Why just this morning he hexed me because I tried leaving the portrait hole the same time he did. Well I should say tried to hex me. We had a nice morning duel."

"If he knew better he would treat you with respect. He's such a disgrace to the family." He sounded annoyed.

"Family? You're…"

"He's brother, yeah." My eyes widened at his word. There's no way I could date his brother. No…well okay I could just to spite him even more. I had a hard time trying to stand Black…but if I wanted to succeed on this mission I would back away.

I smirked "If he's not treating me with respect, why don't you show him how it's done? I hear there's a hogsmeade trip this weekend."

"Are you asking me out?" He smiled over at me, meeting my playful expression.

"Probably, if you'll take me, if you say no then I'm not." My eyes were dancing playfully at him. He on the other hand stood up and grabbed my hand.

Gently he put his lips on my hand planting a sweet kiss there. "Of course I would love too." He smiled and pulled me up. "I'll meet you in The Three Broomsticks then? Oh wait, you probably won't know where that is."

"I'll find it and I'll be there." I smiled happily at him before leaving. Take that Sirius Black. I hate you enough to make you hate me even more. But seriously I'll start taking this mission seriously…maybe.

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	5. Chapter 5: Mistakes

Chapter 5: We've been conditioned to not make mistakes

**A/N: And thanks for all the reviews and adds keeps me going. I like making you the reader happy :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own zee Harry Potter**

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I suppose that me going out with Regulus Black to Hogsmeade was a grand mistake. But I didn't care I was happy. He was handsome and kind. Nothing like Sirius…why did I have to be saving Sirius? Although the guilt starting piling on me because of it was bringing me down because, this mission was serious. I wasn't one to blow off a promise. So I figured one little date wouldn't kill me or at least till I can find Sirius good qualities, if there are any…I get what I want and if I wanted Sirius to like me I could do that in a second. Boys like him are so predictable. Or so I thought…

* * *

I woke up Friday morning in sort of a euphoria. I was as chipper as Raven was and that was saying something. I guess I was really happy. I had a date and he was cute, though I was starting to get a little nervous.

"Come on Lily! Breakfast is waiting." I whined pulling on her. Raven was on her other side trying to pull Lily away from her essay for Charms that was due today. She was trying to go over it for the 1,000 time.

"Smile would you? Hogsmeade is tomorrow! Lets goooo" Raven whined with me as we ran down the stairs to the common room.

"But this Charm's essay is worth a lot. Just one more look please?" Lily whined trying to pull it back out of her bag.

"I dare think not" Raven snatched her bag away and ran out of the common room.

"Well there you go. Breakfast?" I smiled happily and grabbed her hand.

"Why are you so chipper?" She asked once we started walking, eyeing me with curiosity.

"No reason." I lied blushing slightly.

"Oh my goodness." Lily looked at me shocked. "Raven! Come back here, Kobato has a date!"

"What I never said….I no!" I panicked trying to run away. Lily caught me though. She was determined to find out. She was even suspicious of me last night.

"With who!" Raven quickly rushed to my side as well. The two were holding me captive. I shook free and walked forward.

I attempted to act normal as I walked on "Who said I had a date." I was blushing furiously by this point. My face or so I thought couldn't turn any redder.

"No you clearly have a date. You have the young springful face of youth!" Raven happily giggled over at me. And just then as she said it James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter rounded the corner. My face got even redder.

"Drop it." Scowled and stomped off, only to get pushed down the stairs by either James or Sirius. Remus gave me a sorrowful look. I was utterly confused. Sirius it's normal for him just to blow by, but James? He didn't even drool over Lily. Once they were out of ear shot Lily and Raven came to my side.

"I wonder what that was about." Lily looked over at me curiously.

"Probably the angers of manhood." Raven nodded seriously.

"Something." I replied.

The rest of the walk down was silent as we entered in to the great hall and took our usual seats at the Gryffindor table. It wasn't till we were settled and I had my bagel and cream cheese, Lily had her usual eggs, and Raven had her 6 waffles that we started talking again.

"So who is it?" Raven inched forward. She loved stories about life let me tell you…

"Who is what?" I teased playfully.

"Your date! Come on Kobato!" Raven whinned.

I was about to respond but my words were drowned out.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU!" A voice shrilly shrieked. All the heads in the great hall turned towards the noise. It was coming from over by James and his crew. There was Ambrosia the brown haired beauty shouting at Sirius. "YOU! YOU WOULD CHOOSE HIM OVER ME?" She pointed over to James who was sitting there looking like he was sulking and like he was indifferent to her pain and suffering.

Sirius just sighed and barely audible from where we were said "Of course, James is my best mate."

Ambrosia looked livid. We turned back to each other ignoring the spectacle. It was nothing new James and Sirius would never let a chick get in between their friendship. Thus why I said before I wouldn't be surprised if Sirius went insane the minute James got a girl.

"To be young and in love." Raven sighed while holding her hands like she was praying. Then she turned over towards me "Soooo who is it?" She was excited. It made me blush again, after I had just gotten my face to a normal color.

"We are just going as friends…so promise…promise me you won't be upset?" I looked up shyly at my two best friends. But most of my words were drowned out Ambrosia was still at it. Nearby it sounded like too.

"This is your entire fault! You evil little girl!" I didn't know who she was shouting at nor did I care. It's not my problem she doesn't know how Black works. "Why are you ignoring me?"

Then with a sharp pain I felt someone pull at my hair and throw me on the ground. I look up to see Ambrosia furious, I swear her hair was on fire and steam was coming out of every pore.

"Calm down!" I spat while fighting for my wand. My back hurt and my head hurt. Did she really have to throw me out of my seat?

Her wand was already out and pointed at me. If this wasn't embarrassing I don't know what is. I knew the whole great hall was looking at me. As I scrambled to my feet to defend myself from the girl who was like a foot taller than me, she already cast a spell. I had no time to use a shield charm so I dashed a side and fired expelliarmus at her, claiming her wand. Furious she went to launch herself at me but didn't get very far before Avery grabbed her and held her back.

Soon teachers were all over us seeing that I was okay and busy scolding Ambrosia, who was in tears. I was close to tears myself. Why is it always me the girls are attacking? Dealing with Black is one thing but them too…it gets exhausting. I slumped down to the ground, ready to go back to bed even though I hadn't even been to my first class.

"You alright Kobato?" I looked up to see Regulus holding a hand out for me to grab. Blushing I took it happily. Why was I blushing? I didn't do that when we were talking last night.

"Yes, thank you." I smiled warmly as he put a gentle arm around my shoulder to escort me out of the great hall. I smiled over to Lily and Raven who were staring at me confused. Before I left I caught an angry looking James and a just as furious Sirius. Great…the sight of them glaring made me look down at my feet out of embarrassment.

He was gentle the whole time he was walking me to a classroom where we could talk. He was so polite and gentlemen like. How could he really be Sirius' brother?

"Do you know what that was about?" He asked me brushing some stray hairs out of my face.

"I have no clue." I stated truthfully.

"As long as you're okay that's all that really matters." He smiled warmly "Listen I wanted to talk about Saturday."

"Yes?" I questioned. I felt like I had to be so polite around him. He was so polite and so gentle. How do I act around this? How did I not notice this before? I started to blush worried I was being rude.

"We are just going as friend's right?" He looked up at me with a look that showed me he didn't want to upset me.

"Of course! I know…well we are pureblood." I blushed looking away. He grabbed my chin so he could look at me.

"You are a good girl." He smiled at me before turning to leave me all alone.

With the essay turned in we could now start the lesson in Charms. We were learning to produce Engorgement charms on the little beads on our desk. So it was easily to talk freely right now finally to Lily and Raven.

"So what did Black want?" Lily asked raising a curious eyebrow over at me.

"Black? I didn't talk to B-" I cut myself off feeling stupid. "Right Regulus, he just asked me to Hogsmeade as friends, nothing serious." I grinned.

"What! No way!" Raven smiled "Even if he is Slytherin he's one good looking Quidditch player." She patted me on the back.

"Yes but he's one of the Death Eater wannabes." Lily sighed, her face looked a little upset. But she was happy I found someone, seeing as she was worrying over what I would do since her and Rav had dates.

"I know..."I blushed "He's a real gentlemen." I smiled looking up at my friends. They returned the smile gratefully, but they too couldn't help but to notice the daggers being thrown at my back from James and Sirius. "Anyways, what happened this morning?" I questioned looking up.

"What with Ambrosia youthful spirit of hate towards you?" Raven laughed.

"That's the incident I am talking about." I joined in laughing. Raven and Lily exchanged confused looks.

"Your guess is as good as mine." Lily shrugged.

"I can help you there." Remus came up behind us as we continued to pretend to try to enlarge our beads.

"I swear I was good this time." I sighed.

"No I know you were. Ambrosia just seems to blame you." Remus looked over at me with a concerned look. "Apparently Sirius saw your fight with James and James was so upset at you that Sirius just left Ambrosia to calm James down."

"I didn't do anything" I said defensively. "James just…he…it's not my fault." I said upset.

"Of course it's not, but sometimes it's not about whose right or wrong. You should go and apologies anyways Kobato."

Darn Remus being so right. I knew I had too. James was in a sour mood today. I didn't think us fighting would get him this bent out of shape.

"Wait, you're friends with Potter, that filthy pig-headed arrogant jerk?" Lily looked over at me surprised and clearly upset.

"Lily aren't you being a bit-"

She cut me off "No you hate him too! And now your friends with him behind my back! I can't believe you." She rolled her eyes clearly annoyed.

"Lily…" I pleaded.

"Don't talk to me! You're just as bad as the Potter fangirls." She scowled and turned away from me.

Flipping fantastic. "Fine…whatever" I quickly grabbed my bag and packed up to leave the class.

"Kobato! Come back!" Raven pleaded while throwing a glance over at Lily.

I plowed right on out ignoring Lily and accidently out of anger knocking over Black's bag spilling things everywhere. Without a care I stomped off.

* * *

Lily still hadn't forgiven me by dinner time. So I, on my own, decided to sit with the Death Eater wannabes. They were more than thrilled that I came over there before they came to get me. I picked a seat next to Snape though for obvious reasons.

While most of them were engaged in the newest Death Eater news about the attack on some muggle town, I turned to Snape.

"Lily's mad at me." I stated since he kept giving me quizzically looks.

"She never stays long this mad. What on earth did you do?" He asked in his usual tone. "Was it for this morning?"

"No this morning was…well apparently it was indirectly my fault that Black lost his girlfriend." I rolled my eyes speaking a little louder then I meant too. The boys who were talking about Death Eater movements were now listening and the girls around stopped talking too. I didn't know any of the girls. I just knew Malfoy's girlfriend was a Black, so Sirius and Regulus cousin I believe.

"Is that why that half-blood attacked you?" Avery looked away from Carrow, who he was having an in-depth conversation with.

"Give the girl more credit. I'm sure she didn't do anything. She realizes how much of a traitor Sirius is becoming." Malfoy smiled over at me.

"Oh goodness are you think…Oh no, not that Black at least." I smiled stealing a glance at Regulus who was sitting nearby. The boys exchanged glances with Regulus with a look that meant we'll talk later. "No it's much more…more, Idiotic if you ask me. Nothing to fret over." I shrugged trying to push off the subject. I didn't want them knowing I was friends with Potter too. I guess I was afraid that they would turn on me and hex me in the hallway like they did to Taylor for bruising me up. And now surely someone was already forming a plan to get Ambrosia back, if they already didn't.

"Let me guess" Snape started in a bored tone "It has to do with Potter."

My face went beat red "I…w-what makes you say that?" I stammered.

"I mean it's normal for him to glare over here, but I'm pretty sure he's been more then glaring at you." Snape tried to catch my eyes as he spoke but my blue eyes darted all over the place.

"I couldn't imagine why." I tapped my finger on my lips innocently as I thought up a lie. "Probably had something to do with me insulting him in front of Lily."

"That still doesn't explain what happened this morning with that half-blood." Avery commented.

I just stabbed my potatoes moodily before I noticed someone behind me.

"Nightray, come here." It was Sirius.

"Why don't you leave her alone you blood traitor." Malfoy spat.

"I can handle this, if you all would excuse me." I followed Sirius.

Once I was up he grabbed my wrist in a rough manner. It was hurting a lot. But I didn't want to cave in, so instead I said nothing as he dragged me out of the great hall. Probably so that he could scold me, cast hexes at me, and just harass me in general without Professor's interrupting.

"Black" I attempted to plead. I think though in his defense, not like I want to defend him, that he wasn't aware he was using that much force. I mean my arm was about to break out, but he didn't notice. "Black stop."

"Listen Nightray" Black spat finally turning to me with his venomous dark eyes. I didn't cave in though. His eyes were usually one of his best weapons. He would make any girl melt with how playful they were, but he never used that eye language with me. No with me it was the dark cold hatred eyes that bore down into me. He was hoping I would be afraid and leave him alone since I was never charmed by him, but he should know better I don't give into that sort of childish ways. I have no reason to be afraid I have never done anything wrong to him…per say.

"Why should I listen to you?" I demanded let my anger get the best of me as I balled my hands into fist. Forget my wand. I just wanted to rip his face off with my bare hands. At least I can feel is pain then. Honestly what was the point in him wanting to talk to me? So he could bother me? Anger me even more? Well it's working if that was his plan.

"Oh just shut up you tart and listen." He sneered clearly upset with me. Like I had truly offended him, but I knew I hadn't. Well nothing that I could think of at the moment.

"Tart? Excuse me? Thee Sirius Flipping Black is calling _me _a tart?" I glared at him, rightfully so. How dare he insult me?

I was upset. He must have been upset at my comment as well because he grabbed out his wand. My reflexes were sharp though, mine was out at the same time. And a full out duel ensued. Neither of us were able to land a single blow on each other for a good ten minutes. Then we somehow managed to blow each other's wands out of our hands. And not ready to give up our nasty brawl, with no shame at all we launched at each other throwing fist anywhere we could reach on the other person.

"_Sirius Black and Kobato Nightray, in my office right now!" _We stopped mid punch. We were both on the ground. Sirius was on top of me about throw a nasty punch to my face. As for me I was about to throw a nasty one to his side. Together with our fist still in the air we turned our heads to an enraged looking McGonagall. "NOW!" She shouted in anger and clicked her heels walking away, meaning we needed to follow now.

Sirius didn't get off of me at first. Once McGonagall was for sure not looking back he threw his last punch at me, and then got off. The jerk…

As I was walking I started to feel more and more that my face bleeding and bruised all over. The blood was enough for me to worry. He had managed to give me a nasty bloody lip, bloody nose, and opened a wound on my arm somehow, although I must admit I was happy to see I managed to give Sirius a nice bloody fat lip and a bloody claw mark on his near perfect face. HA, not so perfect now.

Begrudgingly we followed McGonagall to her office with scowling faces. I wasn't feeling so well from the bloody nose, which I was stopping the blood with my handkerchief. I wasn't thrilled at all it was bloody nose that was just spewing blood. Just what I needed…would probably be spending my night in the hospital wing. Thank you Sirius Black…grrrr.

I was getting dizzy, my Vampire Reflex would soon get full blown, I could tell. This wasn't good. My chest was getting tight and my body was starting to ache. I was getting feverish as the passing minutes went by on our way to McGonagall's office. I really didn't want that detention now. But with no choice but to sit, I gratefully sat in McGonagall's office waiting for punishment.

"Mr. Black I am told by your brother that you sought out a fight with Miss Nightray, is that correct?" McGonagall was stern as she stared at Black.

I on the other hand suppressed a cough and tried my best to _not _let my 'illness' to get the best of me, but my nose wasn't stopping and I couldn't fix it with my wand seeing as McGonagall hadn't given them back yet. They were just sitting there on her desk. I completely forgot about them till I saw my beautiful Yew and Fairy feather wand. I guess I'll just let the blood loss go and try to forget about so I don't pass out here.

"That sounds about right" Black nodded with his pompous attitude and smirk playing. Even the way he was sitting was showing he didn't care right now, nor did he regret anything. He was sitting with one arm on the back of the chair giving him such a look that would make any girl melt for him if there was someone here to care.

McGonagall was not impressed. She seemed even more upset then she was before. Sirius didn't seem to care though. I on the other hand just wanted to get out of here. Either Sirius was making me more sick or the fact that I was coughing was making me even more light headed. I bet it was probably a bit of both seeing as I was coughing more and more.

"Why would you provoke Miss Nightray here?" McGonagall's nostrils were flaring as she stared down Sirius. Sirius on the other hand was not bothered by her irritation.

"Clearly I was bored." He rolled his eyes as he threw another glace at me as I let a cough out.

"Then you leave me no choice Mr. Black." McGonagall let out a big sigh. "Detention Mr. Black and I will be writing your parents."

Sirius looked bothered by this. His eyes widened but he didn't say anything what so ever. And as quickly as the fear and concern went in his eyes, it left.

McGonagall then turned to me "And you, you know better why didn't you just walk away?"

The question caught me off guard. I feel like she was giving me more credit then I deserved. Sirius did too judging by his jaw hanging open at her words.

It took me a while to respond. There was blood still coming from my nose and mouth was full of blood. I coughed a bit more before I said anything.

"I tried to work this out…I'm sick of fighting with him." From here I used my pain to my advantaged and let myself cry. I let out a loud sob before I continued "I want to be friends with Sirius but…but" I was hiccupping from crying now so I started to stuttered a bit more "He attacked me… It's all…" I covered my face now completely "all I could do was defend myself as to not get hurt." I peeked through my hands.

McGonagall bought it. Her face was full of pity. Finally she smiled at me "Why don't you go to the hospital wing? I'll finish talking with Black." I nodded gratefully at her. She handed me my wand which I happily took.

And that's how it's done. I smirked as I started to walk out. My hand was on the handle when I was about to leave.

"Oh and I will be writing to your parents as well Miss Nightray." I froze at her words. My parents…I didn't…crap. My body began to shake as I fell into deep sobs. The tears were flowing freely down my face as I stared at my bloody hand that was on the door handle. Out of frustration, more because I miss my parents over anything I slammed my head on the door.

No one said anything as I sobbed. I had to say something, anything. I needed to lie. Dumbledore knew that I didn't have any parents. He knew I was from the future. Surely he would have said something to the teachers that I didn't have parents or something? It might have slipped his mind. It never crossed our conversation that day we talked. Lie, I needed to lie.

"Didn't…" I started when there was a knock on the door. I backed away still staring at the floor.

"Come in." McGonagall said.

All eyes were on the door as Dumbledore walked in. "Ah yes, I thought we might have hit a snag here." He smiled warmly at me. Then turned to Professor McGonagall "There will be no need to contact her parents, seeing as they would not get the letter no matter how many we sent." He smiled gravely and put a gentle hand on my shoulder.

I wiped my eyes wearily. Thank you Dumbledore.

"The whole reason Miss Nightray transferred was due to the fact that they were brutally murdered by Mutant Vampires." Good one Dumbledore, I gave a sob for added effect. "She has no legal guardian anymore. Miss Nightray and I have been arranging someone for her."

* * *

After the deal with Sirius, Dumbledore took me out of the room to heal all my wounds and trying to get me to tell him what is wrong with me since I keep coughing up blood. I shook him off and said I wasn't ready to talk about, because I wasn't. Then he asked me with a huge twinkle in his eye how my mission with Sirius was going. We both had a good laugh when I said it was going perfect.

In any case after I departed from Dumbledore I head back to my room and showered soon after I found myself falling asleep in my bed and not waking up until Raven was shaking me awake to get ready for Hogsmeade. She was excited beyond words.

"Koooooobatoooo!" She cheerfully while jumping on me. I groaned slightly before opening my eyes at her. "Good morning!"

"Morning" I grumbled. Usually I was a morning person but not after an attack.

"You gotta hurry and get up!" She ran over to my chest to pick out some clothing at me for to get dressed in. "How come you only have dresses?" She questioned clearly annoyed that all I had was dresses.

"Sorry" I mumbled knowing Trigger packed my stuff meant he only packed dresses.

"This one's adorable!" She stood up and twirled around holding it up to her. It was a simple red one with golden flowers. "Put it on!"

I changed as she said and got ready to head down stairs with her, ready to start our day of fun.

"Listen, I'll see you later probably in Hogsmeade, I'm going to mend at least one friendship" I smiled over at her. She nodded in agreement and headed out on her own, while I on the other hand headed over for James who was sitting by the fire with his crew. "James…"

He looked up at me at my words. He didn't say anything he just stared at me with a look of annoyance.

"James, I'm really sorry." I said truthfully. He didn't say anything still. So I reached forward and pulled him into a tight hug. "Please" I begged.

"I forgive you." He smiled and pulled away from the hug.

"Good otherwise I would have had to bust out some rumors about you." I smirked playfully and punched his arm.

"Speaking of which" Black stood up to face me. I gulped knowing what was coming "You are such a little lair. Well played you punk"

I was stunned it was the first time I had heard him even say one nice word to me. My mouth gapped open for a bit before I turned to study Black. He had a look of if I wasn't mistaken, pity? Why would he pity me?

"Errr…right. Well ummm, James?" I turned back to James ignoring Black because it was making me feel awkward.

"Mind escorting me to The Three Broomsticks?" I questioned hopefully.

"What so you can go on your date with that scum." James said with disgust leaking from his every word. "No, sorry Kobato."

"Alright, your loss." I flipped my hair and walked away from them.

"I'll take you." I paused for a moment and turned to see Remus jumping up and coming to my side. My face lit up.

"Really? Thank you Remus!" I turned towards James and stuck my tongue out at him "At least someone's a gentleman"

As it turned out the walk down with Remus was worth it. He was a lot of fun. We didn't really talk about much of anything it was just random bits and pieces. We were currently waiting inside The Three Broomsticks laughing.

"And then….And then" I said through laughs "Al goes 'Honestly ma'am! I'm a boy…I just grabbed her clothing instead of mine. Happens all the time, we dress so alike.'"

"That was a close call." Remus said while wiping the tears out of his eyes.

"Yeah it was. The poor Muggle didn't know what just happened." I laughed and then took a sip of butterbeer.

"This Al sounds a lot like James." Remus noted.

"A bit yeah…I mean he's not arrogant like James." It was truth. Al was a lot like James the only thing James had that Al didn't was a big head.

"You know Sirius isn't so bad either you know. You could give him a try." Remus gave me a pleading look. He was hopeful that we would stop fighting and I knew it. He didn't like us fighting all the time seeing as one of us always ended up in the hospital wing or worse.

I rolled my eyes "Right and just forget all the bruises, hexes, and blood. Tell that Sirius I'm not so bad either."

"Good point" He sighed heavily. "Oh, looks like your date is here." He commented nodding towards the door.

"Friend, not date. Purebloods remember? No dating without parental consent." I rolled my eyes hating that old fashioned way.

"Of course, how could I forget?" Remus sighed and with that he quickly got up and left. I was fine with him just leaving. He couldn't be there when Regulus got there seeing as Remus was hated even more so by the Sytherins then most.

"You look beautiful, as always." Regulus smiled over at me well taking Remus empty seat.

"Thank you." I blushed. Feeling even more embarrassed since he was looking at me I busied myself with my butterbeer.

"So what happened last night? With my brother that is" He was sitting so proper, I couldn't help but notice as I studied him. He was dressed so nice, like Sirius usually was on weekends. Nice shirt and nice pants. He was so gentle in the way he moved and acted. It's hard to believe he was lined up to be a Death Eater.

"Now that I think about it, I never found out what he wanted." I laughed more to myself then anything.

"He didn't duel with you or anything did he? I was hoping a Professor would find you guys in time when you didn't come back after a couple of minutes." Regulus ran his hands through his hair. His eyes were filled with concern.

"Sadly McGonagall didn't come in time." His face fell so I reached over and gave his hand a squeeze "Thank you though. We were trying to talk" I thought for a moment trying to recall what really happened. "Then he called me a tart" I snorted thinking it was the most ridiculous thing ever.

"What?" Regulus slammed his fist down "He didn't that scumbag."

"It's okay…really" I smiled "So I think he deserved the fight we got into. When McGonagall found us our wands were discarded and he was on top of me punching me." I sighed rubbing my fingers over my lips. Even though they were healed I still remember the pain of the fat lip he gave me.

"It's not okay. I need to have a talk with him. He is fighting a perfectly good pureblood. Not to mention a female." He was upset and I suppose rightfully so. I never found it wrong that Sirius was fighting with me because I was a girl. I kind of forgot he was a boy and I was a girl. And I must have really forgot that boys don't hit girls. I guess I just don't care. I'm sick of caring that Sirius is practically a female and that he's one of the biggest man whores I know.

"You worry too much." I rolled my eyes and took a big sip of my butterbeer finishing it off. "Come on let's go!" I skipped up happily over to him to pull him out of his seat. He looked at me unsure for my chipper behavior but decided to shrug it off as I pulled him out of The Three Broomsticks.

"Where are you leading me?" He questioning believing that I didn't know Hogsmeade at all so he felt like I was walking blinding…if he only knew, I bet he'd be kicking himself.

"To the first place that catches my eye" I smirked and pulled him. He was harder to pull seeing as he was taller than me. Though most people I met were taller than me in the first place. It doesn't bother me anymore that people are at least a foot taller than me. I usually only come to people's chest or waist.

"We are in public though you should…calm down a bit." He asked gingerly.

I pouted my lip "No, I don't think I will. You never said please." I teased.

We walked around aimlessly. He bought me a handful of sweats at honeydukes. I didn't really get anything else well we were there and soon I was finding myself bored. He was a great guy don't get me wrong. But he's just so…formal. Like he's afraid to step out and be himself. Instead he keeps this dull face on and upholds the family honor. It got old after a while and by then I was ready to head back to Hogwarts.

Finally we were heading back. We didn't hold hands or anything the whole time. Just strictly friends and he was a nice friend just…

"Nightray what the heck are you doing." I was mid laugh as Regulus and I made our way into the great hall when Sirius scowled at me.

"What do you mean?" I tried to act calm like this was normal. Like it was normal for Sirius to be upset at me for no reason…well it was. But not in this manner…I knew he wasn't jealous he was just. I don't know what he was.

"Sirius is right, your date ends now." James grabbed me tightly and ripped me away from Regulus.

"Look guys she can do-" Regulus started but James cut him off.

"Can it you prick." And with that they pulled me away from the great hall and headed up to the Gryffindor tower.

"Look" James looked at me with a grim smile "You should mix with purebloods like that." He sighed.

"Why because he's this jerks brother?" I pointed to Sirius as if he wasn't listening.

"Well that too…no you don't get it." James put his hand on his forehead and shook his head.

"Don't get what?" I ripped James' arm off of me and crossed my arms.

Sirius took a step forward and grabbed my arms roughly. I was honestly scared. Usually I didn't cower under his strong gaze, but at this moment it wasn't right. He was truly upset over something as he gazed into my blue orbs with his cold harsh black ones.

"I don't know what it's like in America, but us Purebloods we have to be perfect. We cannot make mistakes." Sirius threw my arms down and stormed off.

James on the other hand grabbed my hand sweetly and pulled me to the Gryffidor tower with him.


	6. Chapter 6: Gonna Rise

Chapter 6: As sure as the suns gonna rise

**Disclaimer: I do not own zee Harry Potter**

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The weeks were flying by as fall started to blow in. The weather was getting a bit colder, the quidditch hype a lot stronger, and the homework a lot thicker. None of these were getting to me since I finally found that I belonged here. I started to not yearn for my time (the present) and my friends at home as much and rather I accepted what I had. And what I did have was amazing friends. Though Sirius and I fought every day, I didn't mind. It was sort of a comfort. I knew that he would always be there to let me blow frustration. Because believe me I had a lot and he gave me even more. I'm pretty sure he was on his 6th girlfriend for the year, this one was actually lasting more than a couple of days. Not by much though. They must have been on at least the two week mark. James was still head over heels for Lily and Lily still 'hated' James. I think it was really more out of habit now if anything. Or it was the childish game she was playing. Who knows? As for Raven she was still with Andrew Lagging and as happy as can be. I only really saw her in our dorm. Somewhere in this time Lily found herself feeling lonely since Raven was busy and I was always with James and she marched right up to me and said to come back. I accepted of course. Sitting with James in the common room had its downs.

* * *

"Nightray?" I turned around I was just heading out of the library. Lily was still working on her essay. I on the other hand finished a while ago. So when I turned around to see a timid little second year boy standing before me, I was a bit shocked.

"That's me, last I checked." I smiled as warmly as I could to the timid little boy.

"ThisisfromDumbledore!" he practically shouted at me and threw the letter in my arms.

I blinked a couple of times before I processed what was going on. Opening the letter with caution, I took a deep breath figuring it would be for him to talk to me about my mission and my heath. I had just gotten out of the hospital wing on Monday after a brutal attack this weekend. It being Wednesday I hoped that wasn't the case. I read on in anyways,

_Kobato,_

_If you could come to my office at exactly 8 o'clock tonight there is someone who would love to adopt you. That is of course if you are willing too. And we could also discuss your mission as well as your recent trip to the hospital wing._

_-Dumbledore _

_PS I love Lemonheads_

I read it and re-read it twice before I ran all the way to the common room. 8 o' clock was less than an hour away.

"James! James!" I shouted as I made it in the common room gasping for breath. A few heads peaked up at my words as my eyes scanned for James. He wasn't here "James?" I panicked. I needed him. I needed someone, I was scared. It was hard to say why I was scared…probably because this adoption was the scariest thing alive. I mean I trusted Dumbledore and all…but who would it be? It could be some scary person. I didn't want my life changing, not now at least.

"He's in their dorm" Natasha, a 6th year said.

"Thank you Natasha" I said quickly before bolting it up to their dorm "James! James…James!" I gasped as I made it to their door opening it wide. I grabbed my side breathing heavily while I leaned against the door frame. "James…"

"Kobato what's wrong?" James asked looking at me with concern as him and his crew scurried to collect the papers.

"I…can you escort me…" I took a deep breath "to Dumbledore's office at 8"

"Ko…"He sighed glumly. "Come here." He smiled. I did as he asked and I took a seat next to him, still clutching the letter for dear life. "I can't take you tonight. I have a detention for the singing toilets…" He sighed "What's wrong? Are you in trouble?"

"No…I'm not" I looked up hopefully at Remus "Remus? Can you take me?" My eyes widened. Please please please.

"I can't, I have prefect duties." He sighed. "You sure your okay, you look pale and you're panicking."

"I…" I stopped Sirius was getting up to put the papers they were working on away. "Sirius, you…" I got up and grabbed his arm "You have to take me." I didn't ask it as a question, I asked it demandingly. I don't know what drove me to think to ask him. I guess I feel like if we fought the whole way I wouldn't be so nervous. Maybe us fighting calms me down in a way and makes me worry about staying alive and being better than him. Maybe…or I'm losing my mind asking the guy I hate...the guy I'm suppose to save…and yet the guy I want nothing to do with. Or I could be secretly trying to do my mission in hopes I can get something right? Maybe?

"Why do you need someone to go with you?" He asked angrily as he pushed my hand off his arm.

I blinked for a moment. He turned to stare at me with that look of pity. I turned away feeling my eyes water a bit. He paid no attention to that, instead he stood there in his usual pompous manner and waited.

"I don't…Never mind I was being a foolish little girl." I closed my eyes and walked away from him letting a couple tears of disappointment and fear flow down my cheeks. But, I didn't get very far before he was grabbing my arm.

"What does Dumbledore want that you are afraid? It's not like you." I opened my eyes to see Sirius with a concerned look on his face. Everyone else in the room was dumbfounded at why he was being nice to me. But, truth be told Sirius has been going easy on me and backing off a lot now in our duels, he also didn't get so upset at me. It was ever since he found out I don't have any parents that they 'died'. I think he pitied me a lot. And I also think he has this idea of who I should be and what happened in McGonagall's office was not how I should be and it threw him off so much that it scared him.

"Sirius?" My eyes met his "Remember what Dumbledore said in McGonagall's office a while ago?" I questioned before dropping my gaze to the letter in my hands.

"How could I forget? You are a professional at getting out of trouble." He laughed. I didn't even produce a smile at his words my heart was heavy.

Then it was as if my hand was moving on my own and soon I found the letter in his hands and he was reading it. Once he was finished he looked up at me with that same look. "I'll go, but stop being so goddamn afraid." He ruffled my hair and left me standing there as he packed up. I wasn't even sure what happened. Nor was anyone else.

At 7:30, James and Peter left for detention and Remus left for prefect duties leaving Sirius and I alone together in the dorm. I was still sitting on James' bed curled up in a ball, thinking. Sirius was ignoring me as he scribbled away on parchment. Then out of nowhere he jumped up and was staring at me.

"You ready to go you little punk?" He punched my arm lightly, still using a weird tone with me.

"Only because I have too" I sighed and got up, following him out of the dorm.

Together we made quite a stir in the common room as we walked out of the portrait hole. Most of the whispers I heard were 'They are probably going out to kill each other. Should we get a Professor?'

"Seriously" I rolled my eyes as we walked out "Does everyone think we can't be civil for a moment."

"Well, I know you can't" Sirius looked at me with a smirk on his lips.

"Shut your mouth, you whore." I snapped and punched his cheek with a lot of force.

"Who's taking you out of the goodness of their heart to Dumbledore's office?" Sirius questioned batting his eye lashes.

"Clearly not Sirius Black…" I looked over at him still confused from this whole ordeal "Why are you taking me?" I questioned. It was bothering me this whole time. More so then whoever wanted to adopt me.

"It's on my way and seeing you in torment?" He snorted a bit "Well I can't miss that." He smirked in his pompous manner as he jumped over the trick steps.

"After this is done can we have a nice duel?" I laughed "You're making me sick." I sneered

"That's not hard to do. You're busy dying every second of the day." He let out one of his bark like laughs. I just rolled my eyes at him and let us silently walk together to Dumbledore's office. I don't know why I preferred to have Sirius with me as appose to walking by myself. But it brought me comfort in ways I can't explain. Not like I was happy with him here, no don't get me wrong. I wasn't happy that it was him. It was just the sense of not being alone.

As we made our way to the office the silence was soon broken. I broke down into a coughing fit and I had to sit down. Sirius being the slight gentleman he was held onto me as I shook violently and coughed blood into my handkerchief.

"I think I'm okay" I looked up at him after a couple of minutes of coughing.

"You sure? I can go ahead and tell Dumbledore." He asked while stroking my hair away out of my face. This was weird…not going to lie this wasn't right. I didn't like him being nice. I wanted him to blow up at me.

"Sirius? _What are you doing?"_ Both Sirius and I jumped away. It was Hayley, his current fling from Hufflepuff. "How could you!" She looked at him with tears streaming from her eyes. Oh god, she thought…oh god.

"Hayley! Wait!" I pleaded as I saw her bounce of crying. She would honestly think that Sirius and I were…god no. Ewww.

"Hayley it's not what you think!" Sirius pleaded as he ran after her. I was left just standing there

I didn't know if I should stay or just go to Dumbledore's office. Though I thought that if I stayed I would have a nasty hex or too sent my way if I stayed, but I feel it was my fault. Even if I just coughed, he was the one to reach out and help me. I guess he does have some decency in him. I knew he wasn't bad at all. No girls said he was such a gentleman. I don't deny it. He treated his girls with respect he just never liked them long enough to farther it into love instead of lust. It was like he was afraid to actually love. Or like he was afraid to end up like James or even his brother who would be married off to a girl so that they could reproduce more purebloods…he wanted to go against the grain and break away was my thinking. I feel like him dating and doing as many girls as he pleased was away of him breaking away from his parents. To show them that he is his own person and they can't stop him…but that had to be lonely. Was he just filling empty space in his life for the love he never got as a kid?

Regardless, I still waited like any person with a heart would do. It was the polite thing to do. I think…I knew he wouldn't be broken up or upset that she left him, if she did, but he would be upset at the idea of he would have to lift his finger to get another snog mate for when James wasn't there to keep him busy rather than a broken heart.

I heard footsteps coming and 8 'o clock was coming even faster. I still had my eyes closed and was leaning up against the wall Hayley had found us on.

"She dumped me." Sirius said, snapping my eyes open at his irritated voice "You owe me a good snog." He glared at me.

"No, I think not." I blushed and stomped off towards Dumbledore's office.

"I'll wait for you outside his office and you will. You can't resist me." He smirked.

"Sirius, no." I glared as my face still found its way to be brighter red.

"Wait a second." He stopped walking with me. "You've never been kissed." He stated with the biggest grin on his face.

"I never said that!" I said defensively turning to face him with my wand out pointing it at my arm level, which was his stomach.

"Why not be let your first kiss be from thee Sirius Black." He kept going. I wanted to hex him into oblivion. So what if I had never been kissed. I just wanted it to be special, not like him who kissing anything that walks, has boobs, and a pretty face. His face was so upsetting, that smirk. It's like he found my number one weakness and was going to exploited it to his grave.

I lowered my wand and left him there to walk to Dumbledore's office. I can't believe him. Honestly…Is that all he ever thinks about? Snogging, Girls, and Girls? Bah he drives me up the wall. I could just…bah. I pretty sure I was stomping so hard with how angry he made me that the castle was shaking.

"Oh come on Kobato it was a joke!" He pleaded running up next to me.

I smirked playfully before hitting him with a nasty Jelly-Leg jinx. Of course he deflected it and before I knew it we were dueling. Each gaining cuts and scrapes on our faces and bruises from dodging.

Finally I snapped to my senses "I don't have time for this!" I shouted as I blasted his curse away. We were so close to Dumbledore's office. Sirius didn't say anything. He just stopped cursing me and appeared next to me so we could walk together. I made it to the gargoyle and Sirius didn't leave me.

"I want to explain why you are late." It was at least 8:30 and him being there would make me being late believable. He nodded at me as we made our way up together. We had to stop though because I started having another attack and was coughing badly. "I'll go ahead, hang in there, kiddo." He ruffled my hair and ran up to Dumbledore's office.

It took me a couple of minutes to gain my composer (What between the coughing and him ruffling my hair like we are best buds…). Finally I was done coughing and was making my way to the door when it busted open. I saw Sirius coming out with an upset look on his face. He didn't look at me or anything he just plowed right past me. Confused I sat there opening and closing my mouth wanting to say something. I finally lost my chance as he was out of sight. Sighing heavily at his moody attitude I walked into Dumbledore's office bowing.

"I'm truly sorry I am late." I said sincerely.

"Not to worry, Mr. Black informed us of everything." I looked up at Dumbledore smiling at me with his twinkling eyes. "Yes and there are your cuts to prove it wasn't just you attacking Mr. Black."

I nervously laughed and hide my face a bit behind my hands. Shyly I walked in, not able to see anyone other than Dumbledore. Then the figure in the chair stood up.

"Trig…Trigger?" I gasped. I couldn't believe it. Was it really him? Smooth pale Vampire face, check. Beautiful brown hair, check. Gorgeous eyes, check. Amazing figure, check. Scent of a Nightray, check.

"I wanted to see how you were doing. I figured right before Halloween was a good time to check." He smiled shyly, not really meeting my gaze. I lost myself and launched my body at him. He threw his arms around me and spun me into a great big hug. "Dumbledore and I have been talking. And I'm going to stay here in an apartment close by to keep an eye on you." He patted me on the head as he took a seat in his chair across from Dumbledore.

"What? But I've been doing just fine…"My eyes were wide. I was so confused, but yet so happy. "I mean I want you closer…"

"Dumbledore has been telling me you've been spending a lot of time in the hospital wing." Trigger sighed lifting me up to sit on his lap. I didn't protest rather I threw a glare at Dumbledore who was whistling and looking everywhere but at me. "You aren't taking your potion are you?" Trigger scolded me.

"No…well yes. I'm just…"I looked away.

"It's nothing to be ashamed off Miss Cross that you suffer from Vampire Reflex." Dumbledore smiled at me. I on the other hand threw a glare at Trigger.

"He needed to know. You are attempting to kill yourself." Trigger exchanged my glare.

"Not entirely. Sirius Black is…if he would make me bleed every day." I rolled my eyes.

The chat carried on. We spent a good deal talking about options for my Vampire Reflex. Of course one was to just become a Vampire, but I refused. I wasn't ready yet. Trigger understood that fully. He said the best he could do would be to live in the past for a while as well. Apparently he had the other stone of the past. There was only two made. And he and I were the only ones capable of using them at this point in time. After all that talk there was a long time spent on my mission and how it was going with Sirius Black. Truthfully there was some hope shinning tonight. But that all went out the window when I realize how big of a jerk he was. He just wanted his snog. Which he got the next day seeing as Hayley was no longer mad at him. Apparently she didn't realize it was me, Sirius number one female enemy. From there they got slightly serious. As far as Sirius could get…for her birthday he gave her a beautiful hair clip, goblin made from what the rumors say. Which she proudly wore every day…probably just to show off that Sirius cares for her. Or shall I say 'cares' for her.

* * *

Halloween was on a Saturday for once. We were all as happy as can be. There was a beautiful Hogsmeade trip planned for the day of before the big feast in the evening. Lily and I had just gotten done with breakfast (Raven ate with Andrew since they were going to Hogsmeade together.) and we were heading to go to Hogsmeade just the two of us. No boys. We were excited. No boys to bother us what so ever.

We were both dressed up in one of my dresses. She had one of my beautiful black ones on with a nice warm matching cloak. And I had one of my beautiful white ones on with a matching cloak. We were as happy as can be as we linked arms down the long path to Hogsmeade.

"Where do you want to go first?" She asked excitedly looking over at me hoping I would met her excitement.

"I was hoping the coffee shop for a good snog with you." I smirked while batting my eyelashes at her. She just laughed at me before pushing me away.

"Can I join?" James popped up behind us out of nowhere. Lily and I rolled our eyes and ignored him as we plowed on. "Oh please! It's just two of us today. Sirius is off with his girl. And well Remus" He paused for a moment looking apathetic "He's dealing with his furry little problem." Which meant his 'rabbit' but I knew he was a werewolf already, I wasn't stupid. Al had told me about Remus before seeing as he was Teddy's dad. Not to mention his signs weren't hard to pick up. That there was a lunar calendar on his half of the dorm…just saying.

Lily and I turned around. Sure enough it was only James and Peter.

"Eat dung Potter." Lily pushed him away and pulled me along.

"But Liiiily!" James whinned, but soon gave up hope and faced me. "Kobato you'll hang out with us, you'll let us wont you?"

"No can do mate." I smirked and walked forward with Lily. Leaving an upset James "Sorry, girls day" I smiled happily.

"Can I at least watch you two?" He questioned hopefully.

"No you filthy arrogant piece of dung." Lily spat and stormed off pulling me with her all the way to The Three Broomsticks where she chugged a butterbeer. "He makes me so mad. _How are you friends with that sorry excuse for a male_?" She questioned still huffing and puffing.

"He's not that bad once it's just him and I." I tried smiling reassuringly. But it was one of those things that you had to see it to believe it. And I knew that full well. James was so different when it was just him and I. He was done right amazing and always there for a good laugh. He isn't one of the schools best pranksters for nothing.

"Right…I'll believe it when I see it." Lily rolled her eyes and took another big drink of butterbeer. He really got under her skin some times. This was one of those times. I just found it weird because she didn't hate Sirius this much. And I thought Sirius was a 100 times worse just because Sirius didn't love anyone. And James loved Lily. Oh well. What's a girl to do? They will end up together in the end. I know it…well of course I would know it. Bahahahaha they are famous in my day.

"So anyways" Lily looked up from her drink changing the subject. "So who are those letters from that you get every other day?" Lily looked up hopeful that it was a secret love or something exciting like that.

"Oh…not as exciting as you think" I shook my finger at her "My parents are dead you see…that's why I transferred here."

"Oh no! I'm sorry, I didn-" I cut her off, I didn't like seeing that sorrow on her usual happy face.

"No worries it happened a while ago, I'm over it. Besides I find whenever I get depressed about it I always have Black to hex." I laughed, Lily joining in knowing it was true. Whenever I was upset she would see me frantically search for Sirius so I could hex him…well try too. We both were too good of duelers to actually land a hex on one another.

"I'm starting to think you have a thing for him the way you two act." Lily teased. I threw a glare at her.

"No thank you…He probably has AIDS, lord knows I don't need any more illnesses." I laughed.

"This is true. Are you feeling better by the way?" Lily looked at me concerned.

"Oh loads better thank you." I smiled and took a sip of butterbeer.

"Good…so anyways we changed topics. The letters?" She looked up hopefully still wondering.

"Right, Dumbledore set up a guardian for me. So we are exchanging letters to see if he wants to adopt me. The guardian that is." I pulled out a picture of Trigger that I always kept with me.

"Oh my goodness. He is good looking." Lily gasped at the sight of him. "A dream boy if you ask me. So you going to live with this guy?" she was still an awe at the sight of Trigger, I don't blame her. He is one of the best looking Vampires in all of America. As he should seeing as his family is the head of the Vampire Council of America.

"Trigger? Yes of course. He's actually an old family friend to be honest…" I sighed dreamily. "A Vampire though." I added as an afterthought. It didn't bother me that he was one. No not at all…I just forget it in general, that he is one.

Lily gasped "A…Vam-vampire?" Her eyes were wide. Vampires were still feared over in Europe. The reform was already finishing up in America with my father at the ripe age of 20 deciding to put Vampires in Cross Academy. In fact…I think the fear in Europe was greater than I thought of at the moment. Voldemort was starting to try to use them, at least the pureblood ones and possibly the elite.

I waved a hand airily "Don't be so prejudice, he's a great guy. Like I said a family friend." To be honest I was afraid of this. If Lily knew I had Vampire Reflex she would probably fear me as well. Even if I didn't need to drink blood, it's still a scary thought that I could be a Vampire at any time. All I had to do was ask Trigger and we would complete the transformation of me becoming a Vampire. But I refuse. That's not what I wanted. Not now at least…

"Sorry" She blushed feeling awkward that she of all people was being judgmental just because he was a Vampire.

"Don't worry about it. Once we learn about Vampires in class your view will change. It's only the Mutant ones that are bad." I nodded reassuringly.

"Mutant? There are different types?" She asked.

"Of course…now let's go for a walk. Get some fresh air?" I smiled while getting up. She nodded and got up as well. When we got outside we were in a bit of a shock. It was snowing big fluffy flakes.

"The first snow!" I squealed and grabbed Lily for a hug.

"It's beautiful!" Lily joined in my excitement as we made our footprints in the snow. "It's a little early for snow though." Lily added as an afterthought. We didn't care though. We gladly walked around in it enjoying every last bit of it all the while giggling and wishing Raven was here with her eccentric nature to enjoy it with us.

Of course with most good things it has to come to end. We were on one of the edger paths near the shrieking shack, which was where we were headed when it happened. There was a small group watching the scene unfold as we walked forward. There were two girls screaming at each other. One looked like Hayley, Sirius current girlfriend. Once we got closer I noticed the other girl to be Victoria, the head of the Sirius fanclub.

"NO! YOU DON'T! YOU DON'T LOVE HIM! HOW COULD YOU!" Victoria screamed before launching herself at Hayley. That's when I saw it. Hayley's hairclip go flying in the air and down the hill. That was a gift something that should be treasured. She would want that back, it was probably precious to her seeing as she wore it every day. Lily was busy watching the fight, no one would notice if I left quickly.

The two girls were throwing fist and spells. Screaming and fighting without a shred of decency. Lily and Sirius couldn't take it much longer. They were edging closer trying to break it up since no one else would. Finally they ran in trying to break them up. Everyone else was too busy looking on in awe and shock or probably too afraid to do something. Cat fights are wicked.

Now was my chance. I ran for it down the steep hill not looking back. It was precious to her, or so I hoped. I regretted going down it the minute I started making it down the hill. Because of the snow falling, the ground was mush and slippery. I wasn't going to make it. There was brush and shrubby all over ready to trip me. Not good. I was losing my footing. Even if I was 'part' Vampire meaning my reflexes, speed, and balance is a 100 times better then a normal human, I was losing it.

Then, I saw the hair clip. There I was on a tree branch not too far away. I went over and grabbed it as best I could. Grasping the hair clip tightly in my hand I smiled to myself and started to turn to head back up the slop. As luck would have it I lost my footing and slipped. My head slammed into a tree splitting my head open at the spot. It was bleeding heavily and the blow to the head made me lose my balance even more and down the hill I fell leaving a trail of blood behind me.

My body started to feel numb. I was losing a lot more blood then my body was able to handle. I was shaking and soon I found I couldn't get off the ground where I had landed in an array of leaves and snow. I clutched the clip tightly holding onto it as my only comfort as I slipped away into unconsciousness.

* * *

Something was warm against all this cold. What was it? Someone was holding me in their arms like a small child…yes that's the warmth. I stirred a bit as whoever was carrying me tightly to them walked on. I opened my eyes for a small peak. I was weak and tired. It was dark out and hard to see…but this scent? That figure…it was…

"James…" I mumbled. He didn't respond as I closed my eyes again and grabbed him tightly. "I'm sorry…I've caused a mess again" I said in a harsh whisper. "I just…Sirius has been with this girl for a long time and I was hoping he'd maybe…maybe he'd learn to love and not be so afraid…" I mumbled on. "I wish I could help him, but he hates me…an-and I doubt he would accept my help" I started to cry now "I just want him to learn how to live and love and not take these things for granted." I cried a bit more feeling it harder to breath. "He's…I wish he would treat me like a friend then I could help him. That will never happen though…he would never care for someone like me…someone with Vampire Reflex." I cried "I'll never get any taller…I'll never be as beautiful as those model girlfriends he gets, I'll stay a child forever. All because I got attacked by a Vampire…" And with that I passed out, tears nearly freezing to my face.

When I came around, I wasn't sure if I actually dreamed James carrying me to the hospital wing or if it actually was true. Especially because when I woke up it was dark still and apparently only 3 am according to the clock.

I felt a cold hand within mine and was shocked to see Trigger sleeping in the chair next to my bed holding my hand tightly. I smiled and pulled his hand away making him stir.

"Kobato, you're awake." He whispered happily, then grabbed my hand and planted a gentle kiss on it. "I'm glad I was here…you lost a lot of blood. The boy who found you said there was a big pool around you. He was lucky it was snowing, though you blended in more." Trigger shook his head clearly upset and worried he wasn't there to help.

My eyes widened. "You didn't…I mean. He…" I tensed up.

"No one knows you had to drink my blood to get better. Just Dumbledore and Madam Pomfry" He smiled warmly before sitting on the bed with me as I loosened up a bit. "You've been out for four days." He shook his head in grief as I laid there shocked.

I let out a big sigh before saying something to lighten the mood "I'm not doing so well here, with my mission that is" I tried to smile.

"I don't know that Black seemed a bit upset by you being here."

"Yeah upset that he has no one to hex." I rolled my eyes. Sounded like Sirius to me.

"Cheer up, doll." Trigger smiled pulling me into a hug. Oh how I missed him.

Over the next couple of days I had a lot of visitors from people I barely knew. Though they were mostly female, I think the word got out that my guardian was handsome, even more so then Sirius and James. And that he wouldn't leave my side…so naturally they all wanted to see. Though the one person I wanted to see was James. And he wouldn't come because of all the girls, or that's what Raven said. It made my heart feel heavy and made me feel lonely as well. I wanted to see James at least to thank him. Or ask him if it was really him who rescued me. To be honest, now that I think of it the only guys that came to visit me were Death Eater wannabes. Of course some of them started an in depth conversation with Trigger and his stance on Voldemort. It was a bit annoying really…

Finally after a week of staying in the hospital wing I was let out on one very busy homework evening. Or at least I was guessing it was busy homework evening because no one came to visit me that night. I was making my way back to the Gryffindor common room when I saw Sirius sitting on the ground in a dark corridor by himself.

"Black?" I asked gingerly as I took a seat down next to him, not entirely sure if it was him at all. I hadn't seen him in a while so I was hoping it was him. I wanted to ask him if Hayley got the hair clip back.

"What do you want, Nightray?" He snapped at me with more resentment in his voice than normal. It was enough to make me flinch.

"Oh…" I said in a small voice "is something wrong?" I asked feeling I shouldn't have sat down next to him. Actually now I just felt foolish for sitting down. How could I forget he hates me? Maybe it was because we haven't had a good duel in a while? Maybe? Or I was confused.

"Hayley dumped me today." He stated with a glare at me.

What did I do that he had to throw his wrath at me? I rolled my eyes in any case "So what? Did you forget that your Sirius Freakn Black just wave your 'wand' and get another girl"

He let out a laugh. It was the first time he had genuinely laughed at me instead of cruelly laughing at me. "This is true. I am Sirius Freakn Black" He nodded in a cocky manner. Then his face changed. He was serious now and looking glum "Why'd you do it?"

I looked at him honestly confused "Do what?" I raised an eyebrow not sure what he was getting at.

I watched him as he looked down at his hand that was balled up in a fist. We sat there for a moment staring at his hand before he opened it up to reveal the hair clip that he gave to Hayley. Well that answers my question.

Slowly he looked over at me with his dark eyes searching my bright eyes for some reasoning. "It wasn't yours but you still went after it, you little punk."

"Sorry…" I blushed and grabbed my knees hugging them tightly to my chest.

"You nearly died." He raised his voice over at me as he attempted to pull my arms from hugging my knees.

"It's not a big deal Black." I spat while quickly throwing his hand off mine and hurling a nasty glare at him. What was he thinking? Why was he doing this? Caring for me, what did I do to him? That's not his place…This is very confusing. It was making my head spin. "And stop this…you are scaring me." I whispered mainly to myself.

Annoyed with the situation Sirius ruffled his hair then glared at me with his finest glare "Just answer my question you punk."

Him using that nickname at least let me know he still hated me to some degree. If he would have said Kobato I think I would have ran out of fear. I just…I'm not used to him being like this. I mean, I'm sure he's a nice gentleman, but I'm not ready for that yet. I guess in my mind I was used to dueling with him and fighting so to change now it would take a long time to get used too.

My mind stopped for a moment. That dream of James carrying me. I said I wanted to help Sirius…did I mean that in my heart? I don't remember saying it though. I don't think it was real. It was some weird dream. I didn't want to help him…I wasn't do this for him or for me. I was doing this for the future.

"You gave it to her…that makes it important." I didn't look at him when I said it. It was making me sound like I thought he was special. I didn't want that. I went on "I mean…she's going out with you because she likes you. So anything you give her would be precious right? That's at least what I hope." I gave a weary sigh before hugging my legs again.

"Not everyone is as pure as you, Miss I've-never-been-kissed." He playfully ruffled my hair then left, leaving me utterly confused and kinda wishing I never stopped to have this conversation. We were meant to fight just as the sun was meant to rise every morning. Ugh, what is going on?


	7. Chapter 7: Fearless

Chapter 7: I'm Childish, that's my charm. I'm fearless, that's my youth.

**A/N: I didn't really proof read this too much, I wanted to get it released as soon as I could. So here it is… I enjoyed this chapter which might explain why it got a bit longer then my usual. Like you guys mind :P …anyways wanted to give a big thanks to: random. spanish .girl The Weatherwitch, RuuunItsJasmine, and sirius. black. is. so. serious for the reviews and anyone who has added this story to their favorites. 3 (I do read and take everything to heart)  
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**Disclaimer:**** I do not own zee Harry Potter**

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My run in with Sirius a while ago was the last civil run in we had shared with each other. It seemed to me that our fights have gotten worse. We couldn't even look at each other without throwing a curse. Overall it was nerve racking to know that he might just be anywhere ready to hex me. And I ready to hex him. On the other hand, with the increase homework it was a nice escape. And through all our fighting we must have gotten better because neither of us get caught anymore. He's busy in detention for other reasons other than me. Mainly his pranks with James and Peter…Remus is never in them seeing as he tries not to be involved. And next thing we knew through all the dueling, homework, Gryffindor winning the first Quidditch match of the year, and the general excitement of being at Hogwarts, Christmas was coming in closer than ever.

* * *

I somehow avoided going to any of Slughorns parties. But with the Christmas one rolling around it looked like I might be stuck going, Slughorn had been on my case since the perfect Vampire Reflex potion I made... If I managed to land a date without Sirius hexing me into the next dimension, I might just have to go.

"Miss Nightray, you should really come to this party. There's going to be a couple of Vampires who I think would be delighted to see you!" Professor Slughorn clapped happily at me. He seemed to have formed this idea in his head that I loved Vampires because my essay before the potion was remarkable and I was one of the only ones to answer all his questions on Vampires. I couldn't imagine why that would be…

"I'll see what I can do Professor. I'm a busy gal you know." I flashed a charming smile at him.

"Of course you are! Hard working student you are." He gave a wink "Work hard then so you can make it next Friday!" He cheered as I turned to leave the potions room.

The minute I made it outside I heaved a heavy sigh.

"Why don't you want to go Kobato?" Raven questioned the minute I made it out into the hallway.

"Black will be there." I groaned.

"It would be the fight of the century." Raven laughed just thinking about it "Come on your fearless." She added in as an afterthought and patted my back encouragingly.

"I'm going even though Potter is." Lily stated flipping her long red hair behind her.

"Yes well you and Potter aren't as violent as Black and I" I rolled my eyes and started walking towards the great hall. I was so ready for lunch. It was true…seeing as James loved Lily too much to even think of attacking her, no matter how much he was rejected by her. Whereas Sirius didn't like me and even if I liked him, it wouldn't matter seeing as he would probably hex my face off. To be honest I wasn't in the mood to see that happen. Or rather not see that happen considering I wouldn't have a face once he was done…

"How about, since you don't want Black to ruin your night when you have a goodnight planned…why not ask him and then you will be expecting a night of horrors anyways." Raven offered. "I hear he's been single for a while…though that's just a rumor."

I pushed her "How about YOU go with him."

"Sorry darling, I have Andrew. I don't need Sirius Black." Raven skipped happily ahead of us on the staircase. I was about to respond to her statement but I didn't get the chance.

"Everyone needs Sirius Black." A cocky voice behind us spoke. We all turned around in unison to see James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus walking towards us. "Except Nightray here" he nodded towards me with a nasty glare. Everyone tensed up at the spot.

"Why would I want something that's not even that good?" I questioned pulling out my wand. Sirius on the other hand took a couple steps so he was on the stair below me, but still somehow being taller than me.

"You have no idea what you are missing." Sirius smirked playfully at me. I couldn't tell if he was trying to upset me or trying to hit on me. It was hard to tell because his tone of voice said one thing but his actions told another. "Of course you've never been kissed so I'm sure you can't imagine what it's like to lock lips with someone as luscious as me." My jaw dropped at these words. No he was trying to get a rise out of me. And it was working really well.

"I never said I haven't kissed before." I raised both my eyebrows and inched closer to him. I could feel his warm breath mingling with mine at this point. But none of us moved anything but our wands. We put them close to the other person's chest. I didn't flinch as he was bruising my chest with his wand. No I was holding strong as a proud Gryffindor. "Just because I turned down a snog from you doesn't mean I haven't oh what was it that you said? Locked lips with someone" I smirked my cockiest smirk I owned. Despite the fact that yes, I had not yet had the pleasure of having my first kiss. But I was sure it was over rated anyways. Everyone always wants their first kiss to be perfect, but in truth they usually are rather like a hurricane. And nothing turns out the way they wanted it too.

"The only reason a girl would turn down a snog would be…" Sirius paused for a moment. I didn't move either. We were still so close to each other. With every word he said, I felt his hot breath on me face as he looked down on me. My eyes wandered for a moment. Lily and Raven were at the top of the steps not sure what to do, while Remus and Peter were at the bottom with the same confused but panicked look. Sirius ignored them all together though. "You must be a lesbian."

"What?" I rolled my eyes. That's ridiculous. "And you must be stupid."

"Then _prove it_." He said with a smirk. He knew he was pushing me around. He was enjoying every minute it of it. I on the other hand was ready to dive at him. Instead I just shoved my wand farther into his chest.

"I don't have to _prove _anything to _you." _I sneered about to lose my temper which I was trying so hard to control. He wasn't making it any easier, seeing as he was doing this on purpose. He was in a bad mood, probably because he hadn't gotten any in forever. That's not my problem.

"Oh but you do." His voice was like acid at this point. I wanted nothing more than to cause him pain like he was tormented me right now. The prick.

"Just because _you _haven't gotten _laid_ in several weeks does not give you the right to destroy me!" I shouted at him. It was the wrong this to say, I knew it. But at least I was on my guard. Because we were so close to each other and we both fired the same spell at the same time it wasn't hard to figure out that it was the dumbest thing we had ever done.

Our spells collided with powerful force and sent both of us flying across the room slamming our heads and bodies on the wall opposite of one another. As soon as I hit the wall I heard my body snap and my head crack. I couldn't move anything. My spine was broken and my head was bleeding. I peered through my eyes which were tearing up over at Sirius who didn't look like he could move either and he looked like he had blood on his head as well. It was hard to tell though. It was so loud…there was screaming around us.

"Lily…Lils, I can't…I can't move" I whispered harshly and a bit desperately. Not even sure if she heard me before I pasted out.

I'm not sure what time it was and what day it was when I woke up, but I did know that Madam Pomfry fixed all my broken bones. All that was left was a sore body and an aching head. And who was yelling? It was hurting my head even more.

"SIRIUS I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!" I opened my eyes with a start. There was somebody at the foot of my bed, there back was too me and they were yelling. "SHE'S A PUREBLOOD! DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SHAME?"

"Dad, please stop." I heard Sirius plead.

"NO! YOU ARE A DISHONOR! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ARE MY SON! I DID NOT RAISE YOU LIKE THIS!" He continued on yelling not listening to Sirius at all.

"Dad…" Sirius moan, he sounded like he was in pain.

I don't know what made me do it but the yelling was upsetting me. So next thing I know I found myself getting out of bed and reaching for the man who Sirius called 'dad'. I grabbed his hand tightly before he got the chance to yell, which he was about to do. He looked down at me curiously. He was clearly a Black. He was as handsome as Sirius, just a lot older with some graying hair.

"Please Sir it is my entire fault that this happened." I tentatively said while holding his curious gaze.

"Why" His voice was still harsh, but he wasn't fool enough to yell at me "would you say that? I know my son, the-"

I cut him off "With all due respect, I am sure you know your son very well. But I reassure you it was my fault." I took a deep breath before I was able to produce some fake tears. Letting out a big sob I found I was ready to continue, even if it was an act to get him to calm down…

"Sirius asked me out, to be his girlfriend." I let out an even larger sob and hid my face in my hands. I felt Sirius' dad get down on one knee to see me at eye level. "but…but…I said no" I cried even harder. His dad pulled my hands away from my eyes so he could see my eyes. I let him do it. I was producing convincing tears so it's not like it mattered. "See my parents…their dead. And they…they didn't get to arrange a proper pureblooded husband for me." His dad was staring at me sincerely. He wasn't as bad as Sirius made him if he was willing to listen to me. Of course I'm a great actress "And I just want to make them proud…but I'll never know what they wanted…So I didn't….I didn't want Sirius to not be able to make his parents proud. I wanted him to ask for your permission first."

"Is that what this is all about?" He questioned at me. I nodded my head and then looked at Sirius who was dumbfounded for a moment with his mouth doing a good impression of a goldfish before he found his composer.

"That sounds about right." Sirius said in a bored tone. Obviously he wasn't in the mood for acting.

"I see." Sirius' dad turned away from Sirius to look at me. He gently put my hair safely behind my ears before he spoke again. "How old are you Kobato?" I didn't ask how he knew my name. I was a bit confused about how he knew it…but he probably heard it from Dumbledore or something during the explanation of what happened.

"Fifteen, Sir." I smiled as warmly as I could. "I know I don't look it but I reassure you I am. When I was ten I came down with a magical fever and it nearly killed me. I luckily survived but, I will never get any taller." I explained with a laugh all the while knowing I was lying my way through all of this.

"You are a wise fifteen year old, I'm sure your parents are proud." He patted my head and got up to turn to Sirius. "You have my approval and I expect her over once during break for a proper dinner. No buts." And with that he swished his cloak and was out of the hospital wing with a sharp slam of the door. I took a big sigh and then took a seat by Sirius's feet.

Sirius let out a low whistle. "You are one good lair. Has anyone ever told you that?" He was looking at me with amazement.

"Once or twice maybe" I smiled and decided that my head hurt too much to stay sitting up so I curled up at his feet instead. I must not have bothered him or anything because he didn't say anything about it.

"Thanks." I heard him mutter. I peaked up at him and he was staring off into space. Something was bugging him.

"I didn't do it for you." I laughed "Sorry…not to deflate you but he was loud and my head hurts."

Sirius joined in my laughter "Yours hurts too? Good it's not just me."

"Honestly how _could you_ hurt a _pureblood_ such as me!" I sat up puffing my chest out with a pompous attitude to mirror something only he could pull off and still look amazing.

"Same goes for you punk" He playfully reached out and ruffled my hair. This was getting a little weird. We were getting along to well. I think he noticed it too since he cleared his throat. I awkwardly got out of his bed pulling my nightgown down farther on my legs and quickly hiding in my bed. "Your Vampire hasn't come yet." He sneered changing the subject quickly.

"Who said he was a Vampire?" I snapped throwing the coldest glare I could muster over at him. Like it mattered if Trigger was a Vampire or not…god he pisses me off.

"Have you not seen your guardian" He snorted over at me in disbelief.

"Obviously not…" I rolled my eyes ending the conversation right there.

Apparently Sirius and I had only missed lunch because it was about 4:30 in the evening by the time his dad left. So I wasn't out that long for once. He apparently only just woke up when I woke up as well. I knew Trigger wasn't going to come until the evening. He slept most of the day anyways so I didn't mind waiting for him. Though what I did mind is after dinner instead of Lily and Raven coming up or even James and his crew…Sirius and I found ourselves in the presence of Death Eater wannabes. Apparently our friends were just about to come up to see us when they saw that gain enter in. I didn't blame them for not coming in. Sirius pretended to be asleep which gave me no choice but to stay awake.

"Madam Pomfry must have done a good job you look amazing as usual." Regulus smiled at me as he made his way to my bed.

"Decent enough, my body aches." I sighed over at the crew that walked in. It was Regulus, Snape, Malfoy, Carrow (Male only for some odd reason only boys visited me when it was Slytherins), and Avery.

"So what really happened? Rumor has it Black tried kissing you" My jaw dropped at Snape's question.

"That wouldn't happen, I'm pretty sure both Black and I would rather kiss a dementor then each other." I rolled my eyes.

"I don't know that mudblood fangirl of his was in tears." Malfoy smirked at the thought of a mudblood being tortured by the discomfort brought on by this rumor.

"Good she deserves some tears for once." I smirked at thought. I hated the fangirls more than I hated Sirius. They were nasty to me, more than Sirius could ever be. Which in my book I suppose gives Sirius more credit than I believe he is worth. "No there was no lip locking involved." I nodded reassuringly trying to figure out what these boys wanted here. I'm sure they weren't here to have a gossip talk… "He just got on a touchy subject with me."

"I couldn't imagine what would upset you, darling." Regulus took a seat on my bed and patted my leg.

"A lot of things really…mainly his nasty dishonoring behavior." I let out a big sigh while glaring at him.

"Good, I'm glad you're still the righteous pureblood." Malfoy smiled over at me. "You wouldn't want us as your enemies, doll." He threw one last smile before they all turned and left just as quick as they came.

Was that really all they wanted? Was to make sure I didn't really kiss him and become a blood traitor myself? My god if they only knew my real thoughts. One of these days I'm going to explode at them. That will be the end of it. Oh but Regulus was so good looking. Then again after what I pulled today, I think I'm stuck with Sirius. Although…I suppose I was always stuck with him. My mission was to save him not Regulus.

The rest of the night dragged on. Madam Pomfry checked on us every so often and would give me potions to take around 7. From there Sirius and I were left alone. It wasn't an easy evening spent with him. He would get annoyed with my coughing and threaten me. So naturally I would threaten him back. And dinner was never actually consumed by either of us seeing as we used the food as weapons against each other. I was still trying to get mashed potatoes out of my hair…

So around 11 I was feeling very hungry, bored, and upset that I was stuck in the hospital wing with him I decided to press my luck and sneak out for the kitchens. I was assuming that he was asleep seeing as he hadn't made a nasty comment to me in over an hour now, so I thought I was safe to head to the door. But I didn't even get to reach out for the door handle when is annoying voice rang in my ears.

"Where are you going?" He said in amused tone.

"I don't have to tell you." I sneered and proceeded to open the door, ignoring him completely.

"Where are you going?" He repeated, though this time with annoyance, as I made my way into the hallway.

"Why don't you follow me and find out." I snapped turning around to glare at him. At first he didn't do or say anything as I leaned up against the door frame with my arms crossed waiting for him to make a decision. Finally he jumped up grabbing his wand and made his way slowly for me.

"Just coming with so I don't get in trouble for no reason" He smiled and walked out into the hallway.

"We won't get in trouble if you follow my lead." I stashed my wand away in my knee highs that I threw on right before I decided on leaving. And grabbed his arm to lead him the right "Filch will be passing through here in about 15 minutes and we only have about oh…12 till Mrs. Norris passes through here."

"How do you know this?" He question as I lead him down the staircase into a secret passage way on the left.

"I pick up on these things. Surely you noticed Filch has a pattern after all these years." I rolled my eyes as if it was obvious.

He cleared his throat not wanting to admit he clearly had not "I'm usually not by the hospital wing you see…" He lied. I could tell his eyes were looking everywhere but me. I ignored his lie and lead him on through the hallway, still grabbing his arm. We made it a bit farther down before I lead us into an empty room.

"Filch will be going down this hallway real soon to make his way up near the hospital wing, we need to wait in here." I said as he gave me a quizzical look.

"You know if you wanted to snog I'm sure we could have done it in the hospital wing and not this classroom." Sirius grinned at me while taking a seat on an open desk.

Seriously was that all he ever thought about or even talked about? This is mainly why I couldn't get along with him. I'm not sure why he hated me. But I knew why I hated him and he only made it worse every time he opened his stupid fat mouth.

"Does it bother you that much that I'll be one of the only girls at Hogwarts you'll never get to snog?" I questioned casting muffliato on the door, without taking my eyes off of him. His reaction was priceless for a moment he seemed taken aback before his face smoothed over into his usual cock manner. Lazily he leaned back on his hands on the desk.

"If I really wanted you, I could have you _begging _to _snog_ me." He smirked his charming smirk and threw a wink at me. I just rolled my eyes not being impressed at all.

"Is that so? You really think so?" I walked away from the door and made it to where he was sitting. Leaning forward I rested on of my hands on his thigh and the other I grabbed his cheek slightly as if pulling him in for a kiss. I watched his eyes widen as he held a curious but yet fearful gaze with me. "Grow _up_, you don't always get your way." I said angrily as I clawed his face and walked back towards the door.

Nothing was said for the rest of the time we waited in the classroom. He was too busy nursing his wound ego and I was too busy fuming and how obnoxious he is. It was a very awkward moment and I was starting to regret letting him coming with me. All I wanted was some food.

Quietly we tipped toed down the stairs closer towards the kitchen. We were nearly to the dungeons as my stomach gave a loud growl.

"So that's what this is about, the little doll is hungry." Sirius let out his bark laugh as we rounded a corner.

"Doll's get hungry too you know." I smiled glad that he wasn't being so cocky right now.

"I'm surprise you know so much about the school for only being here a couple of months. You already know over half of the short cuts, you know which way Filch goes when, and you know where the kitchens are. Most people don't even know about that and they been here for years." Sirius looked over at me suspiciously raising an eyebrow.

I blushed "I'm a fast learner, what can I say?" I lied not meeting his eyes that were searching me for some kind of explanation.

"I guess so." He shrugged still looking at me with curiosity as we made our way to the fruit bowl painting.

"Do me a favor would you?" I asked shyly.

"What?" He questioned earnestly wanting to know.

"Tickle the pear would you, I'm not tall enough and I'm not summoning a chair." I blushed and turned away.

"Oh I'll tick-"He stopped his joke in the middle once he met my gaze "Alright…" He sighed feeling like I was a kill joy.

He reached up and tickled the pear revealing a door where little house elves were sleeping soundly. Quickly they got up and went in front of us to bow as we made our way in. I smiled warmly at them as they asked us what we wanted. I just wanted a sandwich and hot chocolate. Sirius just asked for some juice, which made me smile. Together we waited patiently for a food, not saying a word to each other. Finally we got our food and decided to head to a nearby empty classroom to enjoy our food. I summoned pillows for us to sit on as he sipped his juice and I ate my sandwich.

"Why are you so good at non-verbal spells?" He asked as I was half way through my sandwich. I suppose he couldn't take the silence so he asked a random question.

"Same reason you are I suppose." I answered not wanting to give him too much information. The truth was after I was attacked by the mutant Vampire I was trained in every way possible to defend myself. One being that I was able to use Vampire killing weapons, know non-verbal spells, and be able to turn into an animgus. Which I learned in no time because I had some of the best teachers on my side, I also got to learn how to apparate before anyone else I knew which was a plus I could live with, I didn't like floo powder too much. The main reason all of this was for was because I had Triggers blood running through my veins which meant I was hunted more by Vampires do to his sweet and noble blood.

"I feel like there's a lot you're not telling me." He smirked playfully before taking a sip of his juice.

"Why should I? Even James doesn't know everything about me. Nor Lily…I haven't been here long enough. When the time comes I'll tell them." I ate some more of my sandwich before meeting his gaze. He had a strange look in his eyes. I had a hard time reading it. It looked like that look of pity that he had with me so often these days. But something else, what was it?

"That stunt you pulled with my dad today…"He paused for a moment trying to figure out how to word it. Lazily he looked out the window searching for the right words. "We might just have to date, dad's word is law you know."

"And since when have you listened to him?" I let out a laugh.

"But you seemed like you meant every word you said." He said in a serious voice, finally taking his eyes off the night sky and looked into my eyes.

"I didn't, I'm a good lair, and we've been through this." I rolled my eyes and took a sip of the hot chocolate that was just the right temperature by now. "I know you were awake when the Death Eaters came in. It'd rather kiss a dementor."

"You can't honestly mean that." He stared at me getting off of his hands and leaning forward towards me. The moonlight was hitting his face just right. I could see the perfect claw marks I gave him earlier. They looked painful. I almost felt sorry for doing it. "You'd rather lose your soul…"

"Well no…but sometimes." I paused for a moment, I didn't want to admit that there were times that we got along and I liked it. I enjoyed being able to talk to him. But at this point I wasn't sure what to do. We had been fighting for months and months it was hard to know where to go or how to act from here. I just wanted to go on hating him for as long as I could. But how could I do that? He's been kind at times and I saved him from getting in trouble with his dad. That was worth something. I'm not the type of person to just do that for anyone. Then again I've gotten really soft and find myself being nice to everyone.

In one quick motion I tore my eyes away from him and ran for the door. Leaving all those thoughts behind as I ran and ran towards the Gryffindor tower, ending the evening with confusion.

* * *

Since Slughorn was the one who found Sirius and I blooded up and lying in the hallway (both paralyzed with spilt open heads…) he was the one who decided our 'punishment' for dueling in the hallway. I say 'punishment' because both Sirius and I were in the Slugclub and why would he want to punish us? No his punishment for me was that I had to come to the Christmas party which he left James to making sure I made my appearance there. His reasoning for that was that James knew better then to watch us duel, so that was James' punishment as well. Sirius on the other hand got less than a slap on the wrist since I took all the blame once again for him. The only bad thing for him was that I had to come over to his house during the holidays, which was more like punishment for me rather than him. His dad sent me several letters between the time we met and Slughorns party which was actually today as luck would have it. A beautiful snowy evening in December and I had to go to a bloody party that I didn't even really want to go.

I was in a pissy mood already and refused to have a snowball fight with Raven and over half of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Instead I huffed and puffed in the girl's dorm pacing back and forth feeling rather annoyed. Lily was up there with me not wanting to participate in such childish games.

"I can't believe you have to go with James'. I feel downright sorry for you." Lily sighed throwing me a look of pity as she continued to rummage through all my dresses "Seriously is this all you own is dresses?" She asked for what like the millionth time. She was having a hard time picking one of my dresses. I had so many.

"It's better than being in detention. Personally I'm surprised Black and I weren't expelled we nearly killed each other. And then I never came back to the hospital wing…" I blushed but before Lily could notice I pulled out a couple more dresses. "This emerald green one would go great with your eyes, Sev would love it." I smirked. Lily got lucky, at least she was going with someone she liked, Snape.

"Oh please, Sev isn't interested in me like that. We are just friends." Now it was Lily's turn to blush. She pulled the dress out of my hands and let out a sigh.

"Right just friends" I giggled more to myself rather than to annoy her, which it did. Snape was obviously in love with her it was painless. But not as painless as James' love for her…she had two amazing guys after her and she sat there clueless. I wish I could be as carefree as her. Or at least have two amazing guys after me. Who did I have? Death Eater wannabes left and right. And none of the really good looking ones.

"Oh hush it you…or I'll make fun of you and James going together." She threw me a playful glare before pulling out some other dresses while keeping the green one on her lap.

"I'd date James" I said smiling. Lily threw me a disgusted look before her lips broke into a smile.

"Then maybe he'd get off my back. He's all yours!" She clapped happily. "I'll find you a stunning dress to make him fall for you." She was beaming.

"It won't work…he wants you more than Devil's snare wants shade." I laughed knowing it was true. He only wanted her and I couldn't have James, he was off limits. I was to have Sirius Black and Sirius Black only. But I barely wanted him…why was it left up to me?

Lily let out a heavy sigh "That's true." She stared off for a moment before grabbing the lavender dress that was on the top of the pile now "Why not wear this one?"

"Works for me…its one of my favorites" I spoke truthfully. Almost all of these dresses Trigger had picked out for me. This was one he actually personally bought for me as a gift for Christmas last year. The only thing with what Trigger picked out, I find the Vampires like to dress very…medieval/renaissance like so all my dresses are very classical and look something straight out of those eras. This dress was no exception. It was a straight up medieval dress. Oh well…I liked it all the same.

Together Lily and I got ready. We both found ourselves taking a long shower before we met in the dorm to do each other's hair, nails, and makeup. We had a great time and by the time we were doing our hair Raven came in soaked to the bone in wet slushy snow. We had a good laugh at her and soon she was in her pj's joining us in our epic battle to make ourselves look pretty, even if we were already beautiful.

"I'm actually for once jealous I'm not going." Raven gave a sigh of longing as she stared at Lily and I who had just gotten our dresses on.

"Why not crash it with us? Grab one of my dresses." I smiled heading over for my chest.

"I'm way to tall for yours!" Raven whined and pulled me away from my clothing.

"Then you look like Lily and you show legs. See!" I pointed to Lily, she was easily wearing one of my dresses, the only difference was instead of going down to the floor like it would have for me it was up to her knees and adorable if I do say so myself.

"Oh but…Nah, I'll stay here. Kathleen and Bri were going to hang out up here and have a girls night, I'd figure I'd join them." Raven smiled while throwing us our shoes. "Besides I can't wait for all the juicy gossip…" She paused for a moment "Then again maybe we should move the girls night to the hospital wing." She laughed.

"Not funny." I glared knowing she was figuring that Sirius and I would end up there tonight. I was sure hoping not. It wasn't on my list of things to do…I just wanted to go, make Slughorn happy, and get back in one piece.

"No worries, I reserved a bed for you in the hospital wing. Although it might be St. Mungo's tonight." Lily added to Raven's antics. I just rolled my eyes and walked out without my heels on. Not even caring. "We were just teasing!" Lily called after me chasing me with my shoes in her hands while she tried putting her shoes on.

"No I bet you really did!" I shouted still running down the stairs attempting to avoid Lily. Then the full chase ensued the minute we made it into the common room. Still waving my shoes Lily chased me around as we dodged furniture, numerous 1st and 2nd years, and other older students who weren't going to Slughorns party. We were making a big scene especially because after a while Raven joined in. I was practically crying with laughter as I yelled at them. "I will not put my shoes on till you both admit something embarrassing to the whole common room!"

"Oh come on Kobato!" Lily pleaded as we made our fifth round around the common room.

"Noooo"I whined throwing a playful glance at Lily and Raven.

"I haven't had this much of a workout in forever" Raven laughed happily as she finally caught me and picked me up with ease and threw me over her shoulder and went over to an open chair where she proceeded to sit down and set me tightly on her lap with her strong arms around my waist. "Put her shoes on would you Lily." There was laughter all around us as I pouted with all my might and crossed my arms over my chest. "Oh admit defeat!"

"Never" I held my nose up high in a haughty matter while Lily put my shoes on.

"Nice catch Clearwater." James smiled coming up behind us with Sirius in handsome dress robes. Both were going to Slughorns party. Though rumor had it Sirius didn't have a date.

"Thanks!" Raven gave a high five to James who was thoroughly enjoying me still struggling on Raven's lap.

"I'm guessing she was attempting to ditch the party?" James asked looking at Lily and Raven. It was odd he wasn't being weird around Lily for once. Well at the moment at least.

"No, she's upset because we reserved her a bed in the hospital wing." Raven ruffled my hair with a big smile. I just rolled my eyes and hopped off seeing as Lily had finally put my shoes on.

"Why you feeling ill?" James eyes widened as he looked at me to check that I was doing alright. I pushed him away.

"No I'm fine." I growled over at him.

"Oh…okay. Otherwise I'd have to ask Lily dearest here to come with me to the party." He turned with his Lily voice over at her with a smile.

"I'm going with Sev who's a million times better than you." Lily glared over at James before turning to me "If you don't have any objections Kobato I'm leaving."

"Of course not! I'll see you there beautiful" I gave her a big hug and watched her leave. James on the other hand looked so depressed. It was surely a sight to behold. Lily sure knew how to beat him up and make him feel like nothing. It was amazing how little of an ego he had after Lily says something like that. It made me giggle.

"What's so funny?" James snapped out of his depression and pounded on me all curious.

"Nothing" I met Raven's eye who returned my giggle and smirk. "See you later Raven." I smiled at her and gave her a hug.

"Be good and don't end up in the hospital wing or St. Mungo's." She scolded with a warning finger at me. I on the other hand just rolled my eyes and ignored her comment.

"Bye!" I said loudly and annoyed to Raven. She just smiled as I grabbed James' arm to walk to Slughorns party. James was in the middle, Sirius on his left and I on James' right. We made a beautiful trio…personally.

To be honest though I was nervous about this, I was afraid Sirius would send me to the hospital wing or something. We hadn't talked since what happened the night I ran away from him in that empty classroom. The most contact we had been through our wands. Our fights were increasingly worse. It didn't help that Regulus found out that their dad wanted me to date Sirius, thinking I would be able to make Sirius into a proper pureblood. I had all the Death Eaters on my side thinking I would be able to make him into one of them in no time. So they encouraged it on for a couple of days until they realized Sirius wouldn't let me even say one word. But they were still hopeful, all trying different plots to get me to be by Sirius so I could change him. That didn't work though. It ended up with me being in the hospital wing more often than not. I didn't mind though. It made me feel like I was doing my mission to some degree. I was supposed to make Sirius Black fall in love with me and I couldn't do that till we stopped fighting with wands and started talking with words. Call me foolish, but I'm going to be brave and try not to kill him or let myself get killed by him.

"You do look adorable in this dress, like a little doll." James' smiled down at me after an awkward silent walk out of the common room.

"Thank you Sir Potter." I giggled "You look pretty good yourself. You too Sir Black, you look handsome as well." I smiled leaning over James's to see Sirius. Sirius was confused for a moment as his jaw hung open at my words, but then he gained his composer just as quickly as he lost it and was back to his pompous self.

"Of course I look handsome, I always look handsome darling." Sirius grinned and James gave him a high five. "Why dear Prongs, I think tonight we shall make the girls do more than drool over us."

"Dear Padfoot I think we shall make them swoon at our feet." James' exchanged devilish grins with Sirius before they winked at each other then in unison said "Alright"

"I'm just going to pretend that didn't happen." I commented and let go of James' arm to walk a little ahead of them. I was honestly feeling embarrassed for them that they would really act this way. But then again a part of me wondered if they really meant what they were saying or if they were just this cocky with each other.

"Come on doll!" James put an arm around me and pulled me towards him "You know you love us." He smiled seeming excited for something.

"I love you James' just you." I said with big pouty eyes. "Anyways" I said trying to shake off the awkward topic that I didn't want to get into. "Black where is your date?" I questioned over at him raising a inquisitive eyebrow at him.

"I'm flying solo tonight." Sirius admitted.

"That's because you lost your bet." James' smirked not looking at Sirius.

"Shut up Prongs, she doesn't need to know." Sirius was angry his face was getting a little red between a mixture of humiliation and being upset by what James was saying. Truthfully I was interested in what kind of bet they had going that Sirius lost, but I wasn't going to pry, it wasn't any of my business. And if Sirius didn't want me to know then I really didn't want to know myself.

"I don't want to know, really." I said reassuringly at Sirius who was looking at me with disbelief. I ignored it either way.

Finally we made it to Slughorns party. It was a beautiful Christmas party if I do say so myself. There was mistletoes, Christmas trees, magical snowflakes falling from the ceiling, and beautiful tables with food scattered all over the place. The room was large and clearly the spirit of Christmas all in one room. There was a lot of people here already dressed up nicely. I was glad to say that Slughorn didn't noticed James, Sirius and I enter in at all. We made our way into a quiet corner by one of the open windows. It was rather hot in the room so it was nice to be by the cool windows with the breeze slightly on our backs.

"I'll go get some drinks." James smiled before leaving Sirius and I to stand by this window all alone.

"Okay." I said awkwardly afraid of him to leave. I was afraid from a mixture of I was going to be alone with Sirius and the fangirls where all over glaring daggers at me and throwing yearning looks over at Sirius. They were drooling over him I'll give him that, but they weren't swooning. My eyes wondered all over the party. There were a lot of students I didn't know and a lot I did. Then mixed in where some guest of Slughorns who weren't in school. I know I smelled Vampire somewhere in here.

"What do I smell bad?" Sirius asked as I was closing my eyes and trying to smell what family the Vampire's were from. I know silly, but Vampires can usual tell who is who by the scent of their blood, which can be smelt far away. Me not being a full Vampire but still having Vampire blood in my veins could smell who was who, but it had to be closer.

I opened my eyes and stopped smelling the Vampire and turned to Sirius who now that I was smelling, he smelled heavenly. No stop… "No sorry…you smell fine. I think I smelled Snape and not you." I lied noticing Lily and Snape laughing away not too far from us.

Sirius laughed at me "Ah yes, sorry for accusing you of thinking that I was nothing less than perfect."

I rolled my eyes at him "Don't worry I already know you're perfect." I snorted. Where was James? I couldn't see him anywhere near where the drinks were. He probably abandoned me.

"I'm glad" Sirius paused for a moment then put a hand on my shoulder giving it a gentle squeeze "I worry about your mental health. You know you are the only girl who's not attracted to me."

"Get your hand off of me." I scowled and threw his arm off. I decided to move farther from him and inch closer to the window. A nice breeze below my curly blond hair off my neck, I closed my eyes feeling relaxed and trying to pretend I wasn't stuck here next to Sirius Black.

"Oh come on N-"Sirius was cut off by a much more elegant voice. My eyes snapped open at the sound of it. It was so perfect and beautiful.

"My apologies Miss." A beautiful man bowed to me. He was a Vampire I could tell. I smiled at him as he stood before me in his dress robes of simple black that seemed to accent his beautiful black hair. "I was wondering if I could have your name." He smiled at me in the most polite manner and yet he seemed uncertain. My eyes wondered off of the Vampires beautiful green eyes over to Sirius' dark eyes. Sirius was looking at me confused and yet worried at the same time. He was clearly upset about something. And if I wasn't mistaken was worried for me?

I ignored Sirius and put a shy arm over my neck one of my habits that I do around Vampires ever since I was attacked. "It's Kobato, Kobato Nightray." I smiled warmly at him extending an arm. I have smelt him before. "If I'm not mistaken you are of the Noble house of Rainsworth?"

He looked a little startled by what I had said but none the less he bowed even deeper "It is an honor to meet you Princess. Even greater of an honor that you know of my bloodline seeing as you come from America" He let up from the bow and grabbed my hand to plant a gentle kiss on it.

Well this was embarrassing. I felt my cheeks heat up. "No the pleasure is all mine." I smiled now taking my turn to bow trying not to notice James was back with drinks and was now looking quizzically at Sirius, who was just as confused.

"I'm glad." Rainsworth smiled at me flashing his beautiful fangs and then noticed James and Sirius standing close by "Are these your friends by any chance?" He asked eyeing them in a careful manner.

"Yes of course. That is James Potter and Sirius Black" I pointed to the two. So what if Sirius wasn't my friend I wasn't going to both explain that to a noble Vampire from Europe. Just saying.

"Thank you for taking care of this precious little girl." He smiled and bowed at the two boys. Both were very confused and just stood there looking like a fish out of water. Rainsworth, then turned back to me "I will let you be with your friends then Miss Nightray." He gave me one last bow and then left.

Leaving me wishing he didn't because James and Sirius were now turning to me with the oddest looks on their faces.

"Hi" I blushed before grabbing the drink from James and drinking as much as I could to busy myself not even noticing he managed to get us firewhiskey until it was already halfway down. Oops.


	8. Chapter 8: My heart says no

**Chapter 8: I can't go back now, my heart says no**

**A/N: Just would like to say…I can't write the chapter till I think of a title for the chapter. Yup…that's why this one took a while because I never figured out a chapter name, so the ideas just sat there in my head not getting written. It also didn't help that I had about 4 papers to right…*sigh* anyways Thank you the readers for reading and your patience's for this next chapter (I promise its good). **

**Disclaimer****: I do not own Harry Potter and the like. Just my characters I own them.

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"What just happened Kobato" James turned to me looking mystified and Sirius stood there staring off in the distances.

I didn't respond. My throat was slightly burning from the big gulp of firewhiskey I just consumed. Nervously my hand went back up to my neck as I stared at James feeling tears ready to burst from my eyes. I just wanted Al, I wanted someone who understood. It's hard to explain what I was feeling. I felt out of a place…I felt like it was too much pressure. People were expecting too much of me. I don't know why I was suddenly feeling like this…maybe it's because I was being someone I'm not. Maybe it's because at that moment as Rainsworth, the vampire talked to me, I felt that I would have to be a vampire one day because I couldn't keep this up. I felt like someone who I'm not.

I looked up at James letting the tears flow down my face. But that was a bad idea, I saw him and I thought of Al. Oh how I longed for Al…and Al's hugs and tenderness. I started to sob. My body was breaking down by just looking at James.

Feeling frustrated I stupidly turned towards Sirius. Somewhere in between James' question and my mental break down a girl had materialized and was now attempting to pull Sirius away from us. It was happening in slow motion. He was staring at me while shaking her off with a memorized look on his face as he stared at the tears streaking across my face in a way that left me confused. I couldn't say why he was confused. He had seen me cry before, but all those times were fake tears. I had never really let him seem my real tears. It was like he was realizing at that moment that I was human and I had break downs too.

"Nicole, I don't want to snog right now." I heard Sirius say some where off in the distances in an annoyed voice I had only ever heard him use with me. The voice he was using made my body start to slip forward towards the ground, but my body never fell. I felt soft gentle arms around me and before I knew it I was being swept away from James and Sirius.

I closed my eyes not fearing for my life as I was pulled away from the party out to the cool hallway and farther from the noise. I took a deep breath as I was set down. That sent…it was a Rainsworth. I opened my eyes finally to see a beautiful female version of Rainsworth. I didn't say anything as she peered at me wiping the tears off my face and fixing my hair that had found its way to stick to my wet cheeks.

"_You've traveled far"_ She smiled at me not actually speaking out loud. Her powers as a vampire was speaking telepathically and reading minds it looked like.

I just nodded at her words not sure what I wanted to say.

"_You're chosen to save us…I believe in you young one." _I let out a cry and held onto her in a tight hug.

"Thank you" I whispered not really sure what was going on. She didn't let go. She held on me till I was done crying and didn't mind at all. Once I had finally finished her and I had a long talk. She was very understanding and kind. I thought it was amazing that she was willing to talk to me even if she didn't know me. I think it was purely because I had the Nightray blood running through me.

Finally after us talking for a while she pulled me back to Slughorns party, letting me walk in first to find out what became of James at the very least. But when I got in there, Fay Rainsworth leaving me alone, James was nowhere to be found. All I could find was Sirius sitting at a table by himself looking upset about something. I looked around and all I saw was glaring females staring at Sirius, something happened with him. But where was James?

Reluctantly I took a seat across from Sirius at the table. At first he didn't move or even notice I was there. It took me to say something for him to even notice.

"Where's James?" I asked acting completely normal like nothing happened and I had been here this whole time.

"What…oh" He looked up from his daze still bothered by something. "Lily wounded his ego so I'd assume he's nursing it back in the dorms." After he said it he went back to his dead gaze.

"When will he learn that if he keeps up his attitude he'll never get her? Seriously most girls don't find that attitude attractive." I rolled my eyes attempting to ignore Sirius' current mood. He was being very sour and I couldn't figure out why. Did it have anything to do with these girls glaring at him? Probably.

"Darling, you and Lily are the only ones who don't like it in case you haven't noticed." Sirius looked at me finally with his famous smirk. That was the Sirius I knew.

I cracked a smile "Only sane ones in the school."

"Or insane ones" he laughed.

"I resent that" I threw a nasty glare at him. He didn't fight back though. He was still smiling acting as if we were friends.

"Doll, don't be silly." He was acting extra charming with me. He threw his best grin that I knew of. I'd seen him use it on countless girls when he was bored. Please tell me he wasn't trying to seduce me.

"Sirius, you aren't…I mean. What's wrong with you?" I questioned growing irritated with his attitude. It was scaring me and bothering me. Where was my wand? I, for the first time since sitting here, looked at the table and noticed several empty glasses with what looked like firewhiskey on the bottom of the glasses, he was drunk. Of course he would be.

"Nothing's wrong with me." He rolled his eyes as if it was obvious. Then he shook a finger at me "Why can't we be friends. You hated James and now your friends with him. Let's be friends too." He smiled and then got up taking a seat directly next to me. He put a gentle hand on my leg and looked up at me with a smile. "Kobato…"

I panicked when he used my first name. I had never heard him say it. My eyes widened. "Black…" I inched away on my seat. "You're drunk" I said it coldly feeling really annoyed.

"Doll, I'm not drunk trust me. I'm just trying to lighten the mood." He smirked playfully at me leaning closer. "Remember what you said in McGonagall's office? That you wanted to be friends…I knew you were lying but-"

I cut him off "Black! Stop it, stop it right now!" I nearly shouted standing up and knocking my chair over in the process. Sirius on the other hand looked confused at what happened. I ignored his face and pointed my wand at him. I was angry, confused, and not ready for this. I felt wild and crazy as tears once again streaked down my face.

"Kobato" He pleaded now getting up not bothering to pull his own wand out to defend himself.

"NO! Don't use my first name." I shouted gather attention from nearby watchers. Luckily some of those watchers were Slytherins, I would be rescued if I kept this up. And sure enough it caught the attention of my whole group of Slytherins.

"Brother, I need you to leave her alone." Regulus came by my side and was gentle grabbing my hand pulling my wand out of Sirius' face.

"Reg, listen she's being impossible." Sirius rolled his eyes acting annoyed at me. He was pulling out a lie I could feel it. "Didn't father tell you? He wants her and I to date, but this little bugger won't get over herself." I lost it at his words. I threw my wand down on the ground and screamed, launching myself at Sirius.

"YOU LYING LITTLE PIECE-" I screamed not before getting pulled off by Regulus.

"Come on let's get you out of here." Regulus said sweetly to me while ushering me out of the door.

When I woke up the next morning I was very confused. I was surrounded by green silk sheets and green curtains. Where was I? What happened? What the heck was I wearing? Where was my dress? I took a deep breath and looked at the silk green guys night shirt I was wearing. It had the initials RB on it. It was Regulus. Then was I in his bed?

I pulled the curtains back and looked around the room. I was definetly in the Slyhterin dorms. I don't really remember getting here though. I remember the fight with Sirius…then Regulus leading an upset me away to a group of his friends where we were all talking and laughing….then me tripping and falling smacking my head on the ground as we were leaving the party. That's right…I passed out. I looked around for a clock…it was 5 am. I still had time to make it back to the common room. But where was my dress? Forget it…this nightshirt of Regulus is a dress on me. Quietly I left the dorm room and headed all the way back to the Gryffindor common room. Hoping and praying it would be empty when I got there. The corridors themselves were super empty so that was good.

Smiling to myself at my luck I crawled through the portrait hole. There was no one in there! Yes! I practically skipped up to the girls dorms.

"Kobato? What are you doing?" I froze, it was James. I didn't look at him. I felt awful in Regulus clothing now. And out of no where James threw his arms around my shoulder in a lovingly brother sort of way "Are you okay? You didn't get raped or anything?"

"No James…no well…I passed out last night." I sighed turned to him pulling away from the brotherly hug. Though I must admit it felt nice…it was just like Al's hugs. "What are you doing up anyways?"

"I just can't sleep anymore, what Lily said really upset me." He sighed running his hands through his hair. I just laughed. He was hopeless when it came to that girl. "Did you at least have a good evening? I know Sirius came back trashed."

"Yeah about that…."I sighed not wanting to remember him.

"What did he do?" James laughed and decided to pull me over to the fireplace.

"I mean nothing serious…" James raised an eye brow at my words "Shut it you" Noticing I let out a pun and James wanted to make a corny joke. "He just threw himself at me saying he wanted to be my friend, I nearly murdered him if it wasn't for his brother." I rolled my eyes snuggling up next to James on the couch.

"Yeah Sirius was shouting when he came back to the dorm something about you, Regulus, and sex." James paused for a moment to take in my mortified look that had formed upon my face "Mmmm and then if I remember correctly he was raving and ranting at how rude you are for not accepting his invitation to do him."

I snorted "I knew he wanted to be more than friends."

"He was drunk, give him a chance." James patted my head gently.

"To be honest I'm pissed at him, more than I ever have been." I let out a big sigh.

James turned me with a grim smile before finally breaking into a smile "So _Princess_, what's with all those Vampires worshiping the ground you walk on?"

I looked up surprised by the random question. I shyly turned away from him before I finally decided that I should say something "Well…I'm a bit of royalty within the Vampire Bloodlines…" I mean it wasn't a total lie...not that I could tell at least.

"Why is that?" He asked letting the curiosity flow out of his lips and show throughout his whole body as he leaned in looking into my eyes.

I leaned in closer to him letting my forehead touch his and then in a low whisper I said "I can't tell you, it's a secret."

James laughed at me and then pushed me away from him in a playful manner. "You know Sirius says that Trigger is a Vampire."

"And?" I raised an eyebrow at James.

"Well….I don't know isn't that going to dangerous if you're going to be living with a Vampire?" He asked looking at me concerned. I just rolled my eyes.

"Isn't leaving me in the same Castle as Black dangerous?" I retorted.

"Touché" He laughed thoroughly amused with me. "But seriously, what if he bites you? Why don't you stay with me during Christmas break Mom and Dad would love you!"

"He won't bite me…he's a family friend. My parents were hoping…well never mind" I blushed and turned away back towards the fire "I would love to stay at your house, just not you know all break." I smiled answering his second question.

"So you aren't afraid of Vampires?" James asked. What was with all these questions? Why was he so curious in me…especially at nearly 6 in the morning?

"No of course not and nor am I afraid of werewolves. The only thing I am afraid of is Black." I nodded confidently. "I'm a Gryffindor, try to remember that"

"I thought you were a Slytherin" James said with a serious face. "I mean those nice silk green pajama's you are in…man." He threw a wink at me.

I just laughed "Oh shush."

From there James and I spent a lot of time just joking around until people started filling the common room. Once that time came we figured I should head up and get dressed and he should see how Sirius was doing. So I made my way upstairs with a big smile on my face feeling happy after the long talk with James. Slightly I took a shower discarding Regulus night shirt on my bed and got dressed for the day. And I almost made it out of there a live…but Lily and Raven noticed me and started hounding me with questions about what happened last night. They were so curious…

From there the day unfolded slowly and next thing I knew it was Monday morning meaning the last week of school before break. The day that I left my time period and headed here…in a way I found it eerie. It left me feeling really scared like this wasn't real. I found that I kept grabbing onto my necklace for dear life. And by the time our first class of the day rolled around Lily and Raven could hardly ignore my strange behavior.

Class hadn't even started yet. We were just sitting there waiting for the start of the lesson to come. I was still clinging to my necklace staring off into the distances with blank eyes. Which wasn't the best idea on my part, but I snapped out of it quickly as soon as Snape stood right in front of me.

"Nightray you doing okay?" He looked down at me…he didn't look to bad today. He looked a bit clean for once.

"What…oh-" I didn't get to finish answering though.

"Snivelles! Get away from her." James angrily cut me off. I turned around to see his wand out and pointing at Snape. I immediately stood up on my chair and blocked James' view

"No James stop!" I shouted but I was too late. James and Snape both fired at the same time and weren't expecting me to jump in front of them. I flew into a rough body. I attempted to turn around to see who it was and if they were okay, I was feeling okay at the moment but then before I knew it I was coughing up a ton of blood everywhere. "Sor-ry" I managed to cough out. Why do I always have to be the center of all these accidents? It was never like this in my time…

"Nightray! You're okay, hang in there." I didn't know whose voice was talking to me. I really didn't know what was going on. All I knew was that someone was pulling me on my feet and guiding me out of the classroom.

"I don't want to go to the hospital wing" I whined only coughing a little bit.

"We don't have too…I'm sure we can find a broom closet" …no. Sirius Black? Really why did he help me? His voice was laced with his usual cockiness which left me even more confused. Did he really need to be here? Why does he keep trying to be nice? "Joking…Joking Nightray!" Sirius patted me on the back laughing as if it was nothing. My glare didn't drop with his words. I kept glaring like there was no tomorrow but my glare was interrupted with more coughing.

I fumbled around in my pockets looking for my handkerchief to cough in. I was sick of getting blood all over my hands. I couldn't find it in my pockets though. Oh no…I never grabbed it.

"Here take mine." Sirius got down on one knee and started wiping the blood off my hands and my lips.

Fearfully my eyes widened. I didn't say anything though, I didn't want to stop him or start a fight for that matter.

"I promise I won't hurt you…I just want…I meant what I said at Slughorns party. I want to be friends." Sirius' voice was sincere. He meant it…but I don't think I was ready to accept it. Smiling he placed the handkerchief in my hand leaving me bewildered.

"Black…" I started but then I stopped to grab my necklace tightly. My mission…I have a mission to take care of. This was important…I wouldn't have been asked to or chosen to if I wasn't capable of doing it. "I'm broken, feisty, and I'm a danger magnet. You decide if you really want too." I smirked playfully before slumping to the ground feeling exhausted.

He didn't say anything to me at first. He was busy looking beyond me at the corner. My gaze followed his, there were girls watching us. Girls from his fanclub.

"Let's take this to my bed" He said loudly while helping me up. I was hoping he was joking and just trying to get the girls to stop there chatter and to not follow us. I didn't care either way. I wasn't in the mood to be in class. Once we were far enough away he finally spoke again "So that was a yes? You're okay with us actually trying _princess."_ He laughed putting his hands in his pockets walking in his smooth cool manner.

"I land myself in the hospital wing easy enough without your help." I smiled coughing a bit more as we made our way up the steps.

"What's wrong with you anyways?" He asked curiously throwing a glance at me.

My face didn't move. I was still smiling "I could ask you the same thing…being nice to me, talking to me, caring. You know overall just being a human being and not a troll."

"Not what I meant doll" Sirius rolled his eyes ignoring my question all together. Of course I didn't answer his either as we made our way close to the Transfiguration room.

"Then what?" I questioned as I stopped walking to turn to him.

"Never mind…"He sighed then pulled out a letter from his pocket. "You know my dad expects great things of you."

"I know I was invited to the Christmas party your family is having. I'm supposed to be there a couple hours early so your mom can perfect me." I laughed at the thought. I hated doing those kinds of things. It wasn't new to me…know I'd been spoiled and pampered before. That's not what was bothering me. It was being at Sirius' house and not getting killed I suppose.

"Yes and I'm supposed to be an angel to you." He said in an annoyed voice.

"So that's what this is about…you are doing this for yourself." I raised an angry eyebrow.

"No! I mean…well…I'm trying to be civil with my family for Christmas. I just need to live with them till I'm old enough to support myself" He smiled hopefully over at me. "I really don't want to live with them…I hate them."

"What so you thought you could use me? You think that's fair to me? Just because you can't figure out how to live with your family till you can survive on your own!" I shouted angrily while pulling out my wand to point it at him. He flinched at my voice but pulled out his wand for defense none the less.

"I figured you wouldn't care if I used you! You got yourself into this lie." He rolled his eyes acting as if it was obvious.

"It's a big deal to me! I didn't agree to anything! You know I could fake sick, hell I could end up in St. Mungos if I wanted…I don't have to take your bull!" I had had it…I cast a spell at him and next thing I know we are full out dueling. We couldn't be friends for more than two seconds before we are killing each other again.

From dodging and firing spells I was starting to get sweaty. Sirius was too, but neither of us were ready to admit defeat so we carried on for minutes. But I knew I was giving out. I was starting to get weak and tired. In between spells I would cough up more blood and I didn't care where it landed.

"Just give up already!" Sirius shouted as we were a good ten minutes in. I don't know how any of the teachers didn't notice the ruckus we were making, especially McGonagall she was teaching a class just around the corner for us.

"Why? And give you the joy of seeing me lose? I think not Black!" I spat blood on the ground after I said it then threw the best jinx I could conjure at him. He deflected it of course.

"You're getting blood everywhere!" He responded back still casting jinxes my way. His eyes showed some concern but I refused to believe that's what I was seeing.

"And you're blowing up the castle!" I rolled my eyes noticing some chunks of the walls that were scattered on the floor. I don't know what he was trying to hit me with but it wasn't working on me. Poor walls…

His face was contorted with such anger at this point. I wasn't sure why it's not like I said anything to upset him at all. Although this duel was one of the worst I've ever had with him. I was frightened to be honest.

Finally Sirius spoke "Nightray, I hate you so much!" He shouted. It wasn't what I expected. I lost my concentration so I didn't have time to put up a shield charm, so instead I ran around the corner and I kept running. My mind was racing. That was the first time anyone had ever said they hated me. It hurt me a lot. I knew we didn't get along but surely he didn't hate me? I mean yes I didn't find him the best person in the world but I didn't hate him.

I didn't stop running not even when I heard McGonagall stroll out of her classroom to yell at Sirius. I just kept running until I made my way to my bed where I found myself falling into it only to snuggle up with my pillow and cry. I couldn't say why it hurt so much. I'm not really sure. He hated me, big deal right? Maybe it was this big pressure weighing on me that I needed to save him. How can I save someone who hates me? And in what 2 and a half years now? 3 years seemed easy when I first started this…but now? I'd have to say it felt impossible. Yes, Sirius would snog nearly any girl if given the chance, but even I'm sure he wouldn't snog me let along fall in love with me. Heck how was he suppose to fall in love with me if he only stayed in a relationship for at least two weeks? And seriously how was falling in love with me going to change anything whatsoever? I'm pretty sure whoever made that prophecy was a crack addict…just a thought.

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The days flew by and next thing I knew not only was I spending my break with Trigger at his apartment he got, it was now also the 24th and that means the day before Christmas. At this current moment I was sitting in Mrs. Black's tearoom getting prepped for the ball tonight, while Trigger was conversing with Mr. Black only god knows where. The ball was going to be at their manner with only the finest of finest purebloods. And Mrs. Black couldn't be more excited for the ball and surprisingly enough me being there.

Seriously. Apparently Regulus had told her all about me and she was over the top THRILLED. Thrilled wasn't even strong enough….I mean every other topic would be Sirius and how I could change him to a respectable pureblood such as myself. I had a hard time not snorting every time she said things like this.

Right now Mrs. Black and I were getting our nails done…and after that our hair would be done. And I must say it was an overwhelming ordeal. Yes I had been prepped like this before but…she was so...Mrs. Black was well, in love with me and just thought I was a doll.

"I can't get over how petite you are! Goodness you are like a little doll. I honestly can't say I believed Regulus when he said you were adorable, no offensive deary!" She waved her hands in the air clearly annoying the nail stylist. "You are so adorable, _really!_ I sure hope Sirius asks you out on a date. I darest say I can't set you two up forever!" Mrs. Black rambled on as she had been this whole time. Me only saying a couple words here and there. "But your Gaurdian…boy he's all for you and Sirius. I wish Sirius had that enthusiasm." Mrs. Black was spastic with excitement. I honestly was failing to see why Sirius had such a problem with them.

"Maybe Sirius will ask me out tonight." I added fueling her fire even more. Yeah right…Sirius ask _me_ out? He can get any girl he wanted and yet he would pick me. Yes yes yes that's more rich than Snape washing his hair, bless him.

"I think you might be right. Once he sees you tonight all this whishy washy nonsense of him banging a different girl every week will stop." My eyes bulged the size of tennis balls. This woman was ruthlessly opinionated. Even if it's true you don't say that about your own son. "He's such a little…what's the word? Whore, yes that's it" She let out a shrill laugh before sighing and putting a hand over her chest "That boys breaking my heart" She looked over at me.

Warmly I smiled and pulled out a grand lie "I'll try to fix that Mrs. Black. Sirius is just lost."

"I suppose your right deary. He doesn't know what's good for him. He could be such a righteous pureblood. He's such a traitor. I did everything to raise him right."

From here the weary conversation carried on through the rest of our nail and hair event. This took practically all day till it was 6 'o clock. From there Mrs. Black lead me to where Sirius' room was and left me outside his door, feeling very alone.

Shaking I knocked on the door. I hadn't talked to him since he yelled "I hate you". Heck we flat out ignored each other since then and tonight we would actually have to talk and get along. More than get along to be honest if he wanted a place to stay…

This will be an adventure.

No one answered the door when I knocked, so I decided to peak in. Noticing there was no one in there I decided to take a seat on his bed.

His room was very anti-pureblood to say the least. He plastered his walls with posters, muggle posters at that, with girls in bikinis, motorcycles, naked girls and more. Everything else was Quidditch or Gryffindor. There was not a single gap in his decorating to let the dark green shine through from the wall.

There was only one thing that really caught my eye that gave me the hint that Sirius was more sensitive then he showed otherwise. Sitting on his bed was this adorable Teddy Bear. Smiling I leaned over and grabbed it. Not before hearing the door open.

"Now that's how I like my woman, all laid out on bed ready for me." Jumping up I threw the teddy bear and looked to the door, screaming as I saw Sirius with just a towel around his waist smiling at me cockily. "What never seen a guy naked? Or never seen one as handsome as me?" He added after noticing me turn around to face his window while covering my eyes. I felt the blood rush to my face.

"I'm pretty sure that's none of your business." I said in an angry voice feeling more annoyed as his comment continued to ring through my head.

"Alright, then just stay like that while I get dressed please." He asked nicely. I didn't dare defy I still had my eyes covered up not caring if I smeared my make-up, I would just wipe it on my blue dress even if I did, no big deal.

After a long painful silent 5 minutes Sirius finally spoke "You can turn around now, Nightray."

I didn't know whether to trust him or not. Trusting that he wasn't a complete jerk I turned around keeping my hands on my cheeks, ready to cover up my eyes at any given moment. Sirius let out a laugh.

"You look pretty adorable." He commented. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not.

"Oh shut up." I snarled finally really taking a look at him. He was pretty sharp himself. He was in black dress robes with a light blue flower on his chest that was identical to the color of the dress. My scowl dropped off my face and formed into a smile at the sight of him.

"You know we need to make it through the night without any of this fighting." He snapped taking a couple of steps closer to me. I backed away.

"I don't care, this isn't for me." I rolled my eyes.

He inched closer to me. I backed up as far as I could and ended up falling on his bed. "Please, I won't beg anymore…I know this is purely for me, I'm at my last chance with my parents."

I was shocked. Sirius was in such a vulnerable state right now. I've never seen him ask for help in general. I was a pure lost for words. I just laid there on his bed staring into his eyes searching for something. Anything…

He broke the silence first though. "Let's start over." He held out his hand for me to take. I felt I had no choice but to take the extended hand. He pulled me up and close into his body. Whispering he looked at me with a charming smile. "I'm Sirius Black it's a pleasure to meet you." He smiled kissing my hand, proving he could be a sweetheart when he wasn't busy being a cocky showoff. "And you are?"

"Ko-Kobato Nightray" I stuttered somehow letting his charm get the best of me. His charm never affected me. I think it was how charming he looked and how amazing I looked. The atmosphere or something…

He smiled down at me "You're pretty short." He laughed changing his tone completely back to his usual tone.

"You're just too tall." I rolled my eyes.

"Do you even have heels on?" He questioned still eyeing me up.

"Do you want to find out?" I glared throwing a threaten look at his feet that were only in socks.

"No, nevermind. I'm good." He laughed playfully then took a seat on his bed. He patted the space next to him having me sit down too. I started at him for a moment "We have until 7:30 you know….that's an hour, if you want to stand this whole time be my guest." He stated.

"Wait…what. The party starts at 7!" I shrieked wondering why I would have to spend an extra hour alone with him.

"Yes well we are being presented as a new pureblood couple." Sirius rolled his eyes.

"What" I let out a defeated sigh and took a seat on his bed right next to him.

"No one told you?" He asked raising an eyebrow while surprising a laugh.

My mouth opened a closed for a second. I didn't look at him. I let out a big sigh and laid back on his bed. I know nothing about pureblood parties like this. I'm screwed. Forget it, I'll play the dumb American card…yeaaaaaaah.

"You're so clueless for a pureblood." He laughed lying back on his bed as well.

"American's do it different I suppose. Oh wait…we don't give a flying curse about whom you are you can be muggle, vampire, werewolf, half-blood, muggleborn doesn't matter. Everyone is a person." I said truthfully.

"You really feel that way too? Like you aren't afraid of werewolves for sure? They get pretty bad you know." He asked turning towards me.

"I'm not scared of Remus no." I covered my mouth after I said it. I let it slip. Crap.

Sirius' jaw dropped open in shock it took him a moment before he could gain his composer again. He completely ignored what I had just said "What about vampires? You sure about that one, every time I see you around one you are always nervously grabbing your neck."

It was my turn to let my jaw drop and my eyes widen in shock. Of course I'm not as good as him and can't compose myself as quickly as he can. "I do not…I'm not afraid of them at all. I live with one." I said in my best voice, yet still finding it weak.

"That monster doesn't count. You are not afraid of him." Sirius said angrily.

"Don't call him a monster!" I shot up angrily while throwing a glare at him. "And I'm not afraid of them!" I snapped ending the conversation.

"Anyways…"He said respecting my wishes. "What's with that muggle weapon you carry around?" He sat up smiling playfully at me.

"What weapon?" I shifted my eyes lying through my teeth. Truth was I did carry a weapon on a garter belt at all times, but it wasn't a muggle weapon. Yes it looked like a gun but it was actually a hunter weapon for Mutant Vampires…well Vampires in general.

Sirius looked at me in a disbelieving look. Smirking he leaned over me, hiked up my dress and pulled out the gun. Faster than he could react I pulled it out of his and pointed it at his face.

"You're good." He smirked seeming like he was enjoying himself thoroughly.

"I'm a trained hunter. Now don't ever touch my legs again, or I'll show you how nasty I can really be." I scowled and put the gun away.

"That explains a lot. Like how you managed to pull yourself off the railing at the Quidditch try outs." Sirius ruffled his hair still smiling at me "But that doesn't tell me what you hunt." He asked curiously.

"Jerks like you." I rolled my eyes.

How Sirius and I managed to wait out that whole time I'll never know. And soon I found that he and I were making our way down to the ballroom in no time. Both with forced smiles we went to the door.

"Ready? I'm going to open the door and then we are going to have our dace." He was pulling me forward not really checking if I was ready or not. I pulled him away from the grand ball room door so he couldn't open it.

"Dance…"I whispered harshly looking pleadingly into his eyes.

"Yes, we have to dance." He rolled his eyes looking disbelieving at me. "Are you seriously a pureblood?" he let out his bark laugh then pulled me towards the door.

I have never ballroom danced. I was assuming that's what we had to do. Don't get me wrong, I can dance…just ballroom uniformed dance with spectators. God save me. "Bring it on" I muttered more to myself then anyone. Sirius turned to me with a grin, clearly amused by my confidence.

All heads turned to us as the doors opened. There were a lot of people all formally and richly dressed. I tried not gaping at them, but I was in awe. Sirius pulled me to the center of the room where people were clearing a path for us. I was feeling really nervous by this point. Sirius gave my hand a encouraging squeeze before he pulled me into the right stance to start our dance.

Twirling and spinning I watch the world around me as people smiled at us watching our every moving. I felt like a doll being played with being spun however was needed with that force plastered smile to my face.

"You're doing great." Sirius smiled down at me. Though I must admit I felt bad for him because I was so short it was awkward to dance.

"How long do I have to let you touch me for?" I smirked more out of annoyance than anything.

"Too long if I do say so myself" He let out a laugh before twirling me once more.

We danced for a long time. Soon couples were dancing all around us. I was slightly jealous at how happy they all were compared to Sirius and I. Though I noticed several people had that fake smile plastered on their face. This life was not one I wanted to marry into.

We danced and danced. The more we danced the sicker I started to feel. I was doing so well all break not having an attack or anything. And now here I was dancing with Sirius on something that would affect him more than me…and I'm coughing and attempting not to bring blood up.

"Hang in there please." Sirius pleaded noticing I was struggling and holding back coughs for frequent now.

"Well if you wouldn't be so sicking." I teased as he pulled me tighter to him, as if trying to stop me from falling apart. I didn't protest. I was ready to pass out.

"Very funny Nightray" He resisted rolling his eyes over at me and instead took the chance to twirl me away.

From there we continued to dance for a bit more before we had to mingle (me having to hold onto his arms mind you) and talk with the other pureblood families. Overall no one talked to Sirius and if they did it was briefly. I got the impression that everyone found him a blood traitor, not just his own family. And I think that's what made this night so awkward. No one talked to Sirius, just me. And they even had the nerve to act like Sirius wasn't there. It was no wonder the poor kid wanted so much attention while he was at school and it was no wonder he pulled the stunts that he pulled. I was starting to grow sympathy from somewhere in my heart for him. Not only that…just the way these pureblood families talked to me they couldn't be any happier and were all acting like Sirius' mom in thinking that I have what it takes to turn Sirius into a right noble pureblood, like he should be. Who seriously put these ideas into their heads? I am not better than Sirius, I just know when to act, how to act, and when to step away. I almost got put into Slytherin. Key word _almost_, it's not something I like to admit though. Probably one of the main differences between Sirius and I. I mean there are a lot of differences but the biggest one is he stands out too much. He's surely a Gryffindor, I…well. That's questionable.

After about 2 hours into this whole ordeal I was starting to get really weak and cough just a bit more blood then I was earlier. Sirius was really patient about it and was able to hide it from all the other guest this whole time. Though he was starting to worry that I was going to either pass out, get worse, or just die in general. I could tell by the glances he kept throwing my way. I wasn't too worried, just the minute we had to start dancing again. I knew that would be the end of me. So needless to say when Sirius decided that we had pleased the guest enough, rather I had pleased the guest enough, he pulled me back out for us to dance to put on a little show. According to him this party was for us…his parents were trying to prove that Sirius wasn't a traitor that he still noble and such. It was basically a way for the Blacks to gain back some favor among the purebloods because I had caused a lot of stir at Hogwarts so if they could use me they would. What was with the Blacks using me? Sirius is using me to get favor with his parents and his parents are using me to gain favor with the purebloods….ah such is life.

"We need to dance, trust me on this one." Sirius grabbed my hand gently and pulled me to the dance floor. I noticed we were close by the Malfoy and his gang. I tried to ignore that though and put on the best show I knew how to do.

"I hate ballroom dancing." I let out a sigh as we went in the position for ballroom dancing.

"And I hate how whinny you are." Sirius rolled his eyes not bothering to cover up now. A lot of people were still watching us curiously but not closely enough in the dim lights to notice our irritated looks.

"And I hate how you keep pushing your hand lower and lower down my back." I snarled back.

"Do you know how hard it is to dance with you shorty? Seriously?" He scowled painfully squeezing me as we danced on trying to still act normal and happy.

"Don't call me short!" I pushed him away feeling angry with the sudden insult. Both of us pulled out our wands at the same time pointing them at each other. Luckily no one noticed our little fight for a small time being.

"What the truth hurts little itty bitty Kobato? That's a new one I thought she just a cold heartless-" I cut him off with a spell before he could finish "WHY YOU LITTLE MONSTER!" He shouted at me now…throwing curses and spells right back at me. We were in a full duel now and everyone was now watching, assuming that he threw the first curse.

Our duel didn't get very far I slipped up feeling faint and a curse hit me and threw me across the room, slamming me into someone. I don't know what the curse was. I didn't care at this moment. All I know was Sirius was in trouble. I could hear his dad yelling and someone hovering over me asking me if I was okay. I got up feeling dizzy and noticing there was blood dripping from my lip. I told whoever was trying to talk to me and ask me if I was okay that I was going to go to the bathroom, but not before witnessing Sirius take a beating of curses and punches. He was getting beat up badly by his own family. Cringing I shook off whoever offered to escort me and I ran all the way to Sirius' bedroom, glancing back on occasion seeing if anyone was following me. No one was…luckily.

I don't know what was causing me to feel this way, but I had to save Sirius, I had to get him away from here. Seeing him without that cocky look on his face made me confused. I had never seen him so vulnerable in my whole life. It scared me to think that he wasn't as strong and as cocky as I pictured him. And I felt for once him losing his grounding was all my fault. So I ran and I ran to his room. Ignoring the blood I was coughing up everywhere and ignoring the throbbing pain within my head, the dizzying feeling it all brought upon and my chest that was caving in gasping for air, I ran.

Finally I made it to his room. I threw his door open and looked around for his chest. I don't know why but I grabbed all his clothing and packed anything I could that I thought he would want. I didn't know how I would get it out of the house for me to apparate, but I would do it. Then as I was grabbing a couple more things of his desk I remember his window. I opened it widely I could magic it down! Perfect! I threw everything else it in and did as I planned. Then as best as I could I climbed down the house as soon as the chest made it to the ground and worked my way carefully down. Finally I was down on the safe ground and was now able to move with his chest to an area I could apparate. I didn't want to take any longer so I ran as fast as I could.

I made it! I was now able to apparate so I grabbed tightly to his trunk and the only thing that came to mind was James. He told me right before break to visit him…and I don't know why but in my head it was ringing James' words 'I live in a manor on Nightingale Court' so all I could picture was this so called Nightingale court. Hoping I could make it there I went for it. I pictured it clearly in my mind and let myself feel that pulling sensation as I flew through god knows where to outside by a tree line. I quickly hid Sirius' trunk without even bothering to know if it was the right Manor or not that I could see just beyond the trees. And from there I apparated back the Black Manor hoping I didn't waste too much time.

Quickly I ran inside thinking that if anyone asks I needed fresh air…I made my way to the ballroom starting to sweat and feeling annoyed with this dress already. I without a second thought ripped the sides of the dress so I could run quicker and carried on my way.

I knew there was still a commotion going on in the ballroom because there was still a lot of noise that wasn't happy dance music going on. Busting in I made my way to the crowd and squirmed my way through to Sirius who was blooded up and cowering on the floor still. I didn't have a plan and I didn't care if we couldn't get away. I would think of something. There had to be a way to apparate to the door at least? Maybe?

No one noticed as I crawled my way to Sirius, it was dark and there was people around. No one also as if a miracle noticed me lean close enough to whisper to Sirius who was still getting scolded about something or another.

"Sirius…"It was the first time I had ever said his name, I was hoping his face didn't show any shock as his dad continued to yell…and as several wands were still pointed at him too. "I need you to reach your hand back just a little bit…I'm going to attempt to apparate to the front door so we can run out and leave, okay?" God I hope this works.

He didn't say anything obviously. And slowly he reached his hand backwards. As tightly as I could I squeezed his hand and we were off. I'd never done a side by side apparition so I was hoping to god this worked. It took me a moment to open my eyes, I didn't open them till Sirius was weakly grabbing me outside.

"Come on." He said in the weakest voice I had heard from him yet. I didn't respond but ran with him as best as I could stil holding his hand and trying not to pass out. I was starting to feel weaker than ever. We finally made it to the area where I could attempt to apparate. I didn't look behind us…there was no yelling so that was a good sign. Smiling encouragingly over at Sirius I pulled him into a hug and apparated us to where his trunk was.


	9. Chapter 9: Independent

**Chapter 9: You're so independent. You never ever fear. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter **

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I don't remember anything after Sirius and I landed. I knew we were somewhere near where I stashed his trunk because I remember falling over and hitting my head on it before everything went black. I was hoping Sirius knew where we were and I was praying that he got help and didn't just leave me there or pass out himself. Because I remember it snowing slightly and well…we might never be found then.

I was assuming we were found though because I was warm and this blanket around me was so soft. I was at peace as I rolled over in the bed I was placed in. Slowly I opened my eyes and peered around the room I was in. It was very large needless to say. There was bookshelves on the opposite wall I was by and in the middle of the room was a leather couch facing grand windows. Where was I? This room was very floral, nothing like I had ever seen before. With pink roses littered on all the decorations, yeah nothing I've seen before.

Then it hit me, Sirius. I didn't know how long I'd been out. It could have been a month, a year, a day, or even just a couple of hours. I doubt the couple of hours seeing as it was sunny out. Snatching my wand I got up and wondered to the door not caring I was in a floral nightgown 100 times to big for me.

I wondered and wondered down at least 4 different flights of steps before I finally heard voices. They sounded happy and joyous. So at least I wasn't in a bad house hold. This was promising. I kept walking down the hallway and slowly peered around the corner recognizing Sirius' bark laugh.

"Sirius?" I asked gingerly. The talking and laughing immediately stopped and all eyes turned to me where I was peaking around the corner.

"Merry Christmas!" The group shouted at me. I loosened my grip on my wand and dropped it to my side. It was James, Sirius and James' parents all sitting by a Christmas tree with presents. Happily I ran over to Sirius and gave him a big hug.

Feeling embarrassed I let go "You're safe." I said clearing my throat.

"Of course I am" Sirius laughed and ruffled my hair. "And are you feeling okay? You were pretty sick last night." He asked.

I looked over at Mr. and Mrs. Potter who were eyeing me curiously. "I'm doing fine." I paused for a moment "Thank you very much for the hospitality. But I should be going it looks like its Christmas." I smiled warmly feeling very intrusive.

"Told you she would say that" James laughed while looking at his parents. His parents on the other hand gave a playful grin back to James.

"Kobato you have to stay! We already talked to Trigger and he said he's coming for Christmas brunch!" Mrs. Potter clapped with a broad smile playing on her face. I just looked at her quizzically.

"Yes well…that's great and all…but." I didn't want to stay, yes I was grateful I was okay and that Sirius was okay, but I felt so bad for what happened. It was my fault. I couldn't keep my temper in line and now Sirius was homeless.

"You aren't allowed to argue with my mother, you won't win." James laughed and Sirius nodded.

"This is true." Sirius smiled then turned to me "I'm stuck living here now all thanks to you." He teased. I didn't take it so well. I felt my eyes start to swell and I felt ready to cry.

"Anyways! Well we are waiting for Trigger to get here let's have a girl chat Kobato!" Mrs. Potter smiled at me and pulled me away from the boys.

"Come on boys! Let's go outside for a bit!" I heard Mr. Potter say as Mrs. Potter continued to pull me away till finally we found our way into the kitchen.

She didn't say anything at first. She left me standing there near the bar while she busied herself by getting some pots and pans. I decided I better take a seat at one of the barstools while I waited for her to say something.

Finally she spoke in a voice filled with sorrow "You have Vampire Reflex." It wasn't a question it was a statement.

"How could you tell?" I asked not able to look her in the eyes as she stood across from me chopping some veggies.

"When Sirius brought you in you had blood coming from your mouth. You were half unconscious but you never stopped coughing blood up till later in the evening. I wanted to give you a blood replenishing potion but James said you would just puke it up even if we tried." She never looked up at me once. Rather she continued to chop with a blank look etched across her beautiful face. "There was a search for you last night. All the Aurora's were alerted. Of course by the time the alerted us we already had you in the bedroom and healed all of Sirius' wounds. We contacted them and said we had you safe and sound." She let out a big sigh. I didn't know what to say. I don't think there was anything she wanted me to say. "In any case that was really brave of you. Thank you. Sirius is like a son to me…and you risked your life knowing you were giving up too much blood and instead of worrying for your safety you worried about Sirius, your enemy." She smiled weakly. I finally looked in her beautiful blue eyes to notice tears slowly streaking out of the corners. It was my turn to speak.

"I couldn't leave him there…looking so vulnerable. I've never seen him like that." I looked away to my left letting the tears come out of my eyes now. "It reminded me of…the night I was so alone. I had Trigger there to save me…Sirius needed me. Just like I needed Trigger" I turned back to Mrs. Potter at this point not bothering to cover the tears that were falling at an alarming rate.

She just smiled at me and nodded in a way that said it's going to be okay. "I'm glad you did what you did." She wiped her eyes then went back to cutting.

I wiped my eyes as well and weakly smiled "I never once thought about leaving him there. If I don't have him to bother or hex I have no one." I laughed weakly.

"I think you will find it hard to hate him after this." Mrs. Potter noted still letting a couple of tears leak through her eyes.

"Probably..."I coughed a bit "I was probably pretty stupid too. I could have killed myself over Sirius Black. This is a serious problem." I laughed and Mrs. Potter joined in.

"Yes, James has told me all about you. He's been upset that you don't get along with his best mate." She let out a long sigh then continued on "He wants you to date Sirius since you and Lily are best friends, he thinks it would be a dream. The four of you all hanging out and all…"

I snorted at her words "Yes well Lily hates James. His head needs a little deflating. No offense Mrs. Potter."

She smiled over at me "You think so too?" She laughed.

From there Mrs. Potter and I spend a good half of the morning making brunch. Okay that's a lie, she did everything I sat there coughing and trying to hold a conversation with her. She had so many questions to ask. She said she took my hunter gun and put it away somewhere safe saying I didn't need it in her house hold seeing as that's outside business just like her business was left at the Ministry. She was really curious though, because she was an Aurora, about my training. I told her everything I could in the time we were cooking and waiting for the boys to finish up and come in. Around 12 o'clock everyone was back in the house ready for food just as Trigger had arrived.

"It's an honor to meet you in person Sir Nightray" Mr. Potter bowed at Trigger who had just arrived in one of his classy white suits.

Mrs. Potter found it fit to bow as well. "We are so humble to accept you into our home." She smiled.

Trigger of course being from the head family of the American Vampire council was used to this treatment but James and Sirius were looking over at him so confused then glancing over at me for answers.

"I'm glad you have taken such good care of Kobato here, she's my precious little treasure." Trigger returned a glowing smiling to the Potters and put a loving arm around me.

"It's our pleasure. She's adorable! And has been telling me how to hunt Vampires, she's good I must say!" Mrs. Potter happily said.

After her words Trigger smiled at her then turned to me and got down on one knee to talk to me at my level "Kobato sweetie, can you take your medicine now?" He smiled warmly meaning well as he pulled out a vile with his blood prepared in it. I could tell it was blood even if it was a darker red. I was so hoping no one else noticed. I can't believe he would do this in front of James and Sirius.

"No." I said simply feeling slight upset that he would do that to me. He would actually knowing I am ashamed and do not want anyone to know what's wrong with me would actually pull a vial of his blood in front of everyone. Especially when they knew he was a Vampire.

"Kobato don't do this." Trigger let out a disappointed sigh.

"Trigger" I mirrored his attitude "Don't _you_ do this to me."

He stared at me for a moment "What's wrong, Princess?" He asked softly.

"Oh nothing…I'm doing just fine." I coughed a bit letting blood drip on my hands. Trigger just stared at me watching the blood drip on my hands.

"Let's go set the table then kiddos!" I pulled my eyes off of Trigger to see Mrs. Potter pulling Sirius and James into the kitchen. I tried hard not to smile at her all knowing mother thing she had going on. That's twice now she's saved me.

Trigger at least waited until they were gone before he started to talk again. "I know you are ashamed, but there is nothing to be ashamed of. You are of royalty now." He smiled and pulled me into a hug.

"No you don't even know Trigger! You don't know what I'm going through!" I yelled throwing the vial of blood out of his hands letting it smash and shatter all over the floor.

"Kobato…"He pleaded looking at me through his gorgeous eyes.

"What? I didn't ask for this! None of this, I don't want to be some sort of hero." I crossed my arms showing how upset I was and turned away from Trigger. "I just want to go home." I whispered knowing full well he still heard me with his sharp hearing.

I watched as Trigger took a seat up against the wall I was facing, letting out a sigh he finally spoke "Kobato do you remember meeting Elda Castrogiovanni?" He asked still staring at the opposite wall.

Feeling confused to where this was going I took a while to respond "Yes, I remember her. She's the heir to the Vampire Council for England in our times. Why?" looking over at Trigger with great curiosity. He always knew how to get me to calm down and focus on something else.

He turned to me and let his face form into grim lines "Exactly a week from when you left to come here Elda was murdered." My mouth fell open, how was she a great pureblooded Vampire murdered? "There had been some misunderstandings and conflict between the Vampire Council and the Ministry of Magic. Elda being the great Pureblood she was attempted to fix these problems in place of her father." He paused now, feeling upset and attempting to control it. "It was a total accident she died but none the less there is a war starting between Vampire's and Wizards. The prophecy for told and you and Sirius would be able to stop it from your ties of Vampire's and Wizards. There's just one problem." He let out a sigh and turned to me.

"What's the problem?" I asked really not wanting to know. Judging by his face I knew I wouldn't like it at all.

"The prophecy says you will be a full Vampire by the time you two resolve the war." He looked past me at the blood lying on the floor and the shattered glass.

I was right I didn't like this at all. I think there was still a flaw in this plan. "Like I said" I snapped. "I don't want to be no flipping hero." I got up and started heading back towards the stairs not in the mood to be around people. Trigger didn't let me go though. He was a lot faster than me being a Vampire and all. In one quick motion he scoped me up and carried me like a child into the dining room. I closed my eyes refusing to look at anyone for some odd reason I now felt ashamed for my behavior and I just wanted to hide away from the world.

"Ellie do you have something to clean with? Kobato accidently dropped the potion on the floor." I felt Trigger shift me a bit as I clung tighter with my legs around his waist.

"Of course, here I'll just clean it up myself why don't you guys start serving your food." Mrs. Potter happily said over at us. Trigger didn't move though.

"No I'd rather clean it up, it's my fault." I looked up to see Trigger smiling warmly over at Mrs. Potter "I forgot this would be the first Christmas for Kobato without her parents." He patted my head before setting me down in a chair right next to Sirius. Across from me was James who grinned at me as if he was planning something.

"Trigger you keep talking and I'm going to hex you." I teased while sticking my tongue out at him.

"Too bad that doesn't work." He laughed at me.

"Be thankful my gun was confiscated then." I grinned taking notice that Sirius was watching my every move.

"You really think so? I don't think you could take me." Trigger smiled and then planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"Children, let's settle this outside after presents. A battle with snow is what we need!" Mr. Potter grinned wildly. James and Sirius both at this point exchanged excited glances before Mrs. Potter spoke.

"Now now, let's eat some food first." Mrs. Potter smiled "I'm going to go clean up the mess in the hallway and Trigger don't you move a muscle! We can't have royalty cleaning in my house hold."

I attempted to not laugh at her words. Trigger hated being considered royalty just because he was a Nightray didn't mean he was royalty…well he was but it annoyed him.

"Mom why do you keep treating Trigger like he's a king?" James finally asked after an awkward silence.

"Haven't you kiddos learned about Vampires yet in D.A.D.A.?" Mr. Potter asked. We all shook our head no.

Mrs. Potter let out a sigh and abandoned the cleaning duties and sat down at the table serving herself some food and practically ordering us all to do the same "Eat! You kids have had a long night." None of us argued rather we grabbed food and dug in.

We all grabbed the food of our choice. There was a lot to pick from. There were eggs, bacon, ham, pancakes, French toast and much much more. She made enough to feed a lot more then who was here. I was still happy it was a family cooked meal.

"So where should we start with the lesson of the day?" Mrs. Potter looked over at Mr. Potter quizzically.

"Bloodlines probably, that will be the easiest." Mr. Potter nodded before taking a sip of pumpkin juice.

"Too right you are!" Mrs. Potter smiled and then leaned in and gave Mr. Potter a cute little peck on the cheek. "Kobato, I bet you can answer this one. Tell me the four Royal Vampire bloodlines."

I smiled "That's easy. In North America there's the Nightray's. For Europe there's the Castrogiovanni, which I might add is the oldest bloodline of Vampires in existences." I put a finger down after every name I called off. "Next is for all of Asia and that's the family line of" I paused actually forgetting their name it earned me a stern look from Trigger. I should know this one. I only met a couple of them once. It was…hmmm "Oh right the Misaki's. And in Russia it's the Solovyov?" I questioned the last one not sure if I pronounced it right.

"Very good Kobato." Mrs. Potter smiled at me. I ignored the praise and turned to my food. She carried on in any case "Within the Vampires there are the royalties, which are the families Kobato named before. They run the Vampire communities along with the council that each county has. I know each country has four council's that the head Vampire family approves or disapproves ideas and laws."

"Mmmm the Nightrays have eight. They cover North and South America." I corrected. "I also think that the Castrogiovanni's take care of eight as well for Africa. But there's hardly any African Vampires."

"Is Nightray in exclusive surname to Vampires?" Sirius asked. I knew what he was getting at, why did I have that last name? But Trigger and I had a well thought out plan for this one.

"It is indeed. But Kobato, she's in protection right now. Her family, whose last name I can't say, were great Vampire hunters. Over the last couple of years in America there's been a rift between the Vampires and Wizards causing a subtle war with well placed killing of great leaders of each community." He paused for a moment for dramatic effect. He was good "And her parents being from the Wizarding community and one of the top hunters got misunderstood and brutally murder in the cross fire. My family has been friends with Kobato's family for ages. Due to the war I couldn't get to Kobato in time, so we had her moved here in private under the Nighray surname for protection."

There was a long silence that filled the air as everyone took this all in. It sounded believable to me but I didn't like the way it sat in the air.

"Anyways!" I said loudly, I hated lying. And I knew Trigger didn't really care for it either, but we had to do it. I couldn't wait for that moment when I wouldn't have to lie. When I was back home with Rose and Al…boy that would be the day.

"Kobato's right! We have to finish eating so we can do presents!" James cheered holding his fork in the air.

We all laughed at him and happily finished our brunch carrying on a light conversation. From there we all sat around the tree and opened presents. My load was a lot smaller then it would have been in previous years. But I didn't mind. Trigger ended up getting me a Christmas dress which I gladly put on and wore it all day. James gave me his t-shirt that I wore after the Quidditch match saying that it should be mine since it looked adorable on me. I laughed and was grateful for the gesture anyways. I thought it was overly sweet to be honest. And I was thrilled. Rav and Lily both got me candy from honeydukes, oddly enough all lollipops. But the oddest moment of them all was when Sirius stopped our laughter after James opened the last present to be opened under the tree and spoke up.

"Ummm…I…Kobato I got this for you." He held out this little tiny square box "It's pointless now, but I honestly have no use for it."

I sat there blinking for a bit as the smile from James' joke disappeared off my face and turned into a questioning look as I carefully backed away from Sirius. I felt Trigger put a hand on my back to slightly push me forward. I resisted as much as I could.

"It's not going to blow up in your face." Sirius said with a growing anger as he rolled his eyes.

I narrowed my eyes before grabbing it "I don't trust you, you jerk." I said annoyed with his attitude. All eyes were on me as I slowly pulled away the ribbons and paper holding it nearly a foot away from me.

"Kobatoooo just open it." Sirius whined.

He was being strange, I still didn't trust him. I pulled the box a little closer to me and slowly took off the lid. I don't really know what I was expecting but what was in the box was not what I was expecting at all. Inside the book on a tiny little pillow was a small dark blue sapphire and engraved on the inside of this sapphire was the black coat of arms. I only knew it was the black coat of arms because I had seen it around his manor yesterday. As soon as I saw it and comprehended what was going on I felt my cheeks flush a bright red and my hand reach up to cover my mouth.

"I was going to give it to you last night after we danced for a little bit more and then ask you out in front of everyone…but well. You know I blasted you across the room and my parents tried killing me with everything but Avada-"I looked up at him at this point. I suppose he must have stopped looking from the anger rising in my eyes. I knew he wasn't doing this for me. Of course not…of course he wasn't my friend he was just using me. And now I'm of no use…well he'll probably get rid of me.

"I can't take this, save this for your real girlfriend." I said angrily pushing it back at him.

"No, I meant to give it to you and no matter what those reasons were I'm not going to not give it to you." He rolled his eyes shoving the box back at me now. I knew what the jewel was for. Pureblood's would give their girlfriends a jewel, then when they were ready to marry them they would ask for the jewel back to have it fitted into a ring. For any pureblood this would be something grand, but this meant nothing to him nor to me at this point.

"Black don't" I spat while pulling out my wand. I didn't get very far though. Immediately I felt strong arms around me pulling me away and another set of arms pulling my wand out of my hands. Then in front of me came Mrs. Potter with a big smile on her face.

"Let's get bundled up! Snowball fight! Boys against girls" She happily said. I just stared at her as James put me down on the ground. And next thing I knew the fight had diminished and I was sitting behind a fort that the boys had created while Mrs. Potter and I made breakfast. There was one for the boys and one for us. Trigger was on our side though seeing as he was trying to protect me. To be honest though, I felt great considering how much blood I lost and how I never replaced it. I didn't mind though. Having Trigger on our side even out the numbers so it was three against three.

It was a fun event. Our goal was to destroy the others fort with no magic. Of course we all cheated and used magic, all but Trigger. He could have used his Vampire powers and no one would have known but he did it all by hand. And we all had a great time. We didn't stop till the sun was getting close to setting, we were all soaked to the bone, and shivering. So Mrs. Potter decided it was time to go inside for some hot chocolate and so she could start dinner. We all dried off and changed, I personally took a shower because I felt nasty. I was glad to get in and warm up for a bit.

I got back dressed in my Christmas dress that Trigger got me then headed back downstairs. Everyone was sitting in the kitchen at the bar while Mrs. Potter made dinner. It was adorable since Trigger kept offering to help but she refused help, from anyone, not just him. We all sat there drinking our hot chocolate and singing Christmas songs, horribly I might add.

Finally dinner was done so we ate while the parents talked and us kids talked. Then once we were all done eating we headed over by the Christmas tree and sang some more Christmas songs before the parents went off and had some eggnog with rum. Which is when James, Sirius and I headed up in the James' room to talk and have some fun…well what they thought was fun. I wasn't feeling so good. I may have been earlier but the cold didn't do me much good so throughout the whole evening I kept coughing more and more.

"Prongs we seriously need a better prank for the train back." Sirius said to James while rolling his eyes. I was just sitting there minding my own business doodling on some parchment I found.

"I'm drawing a blank Padfoot, we've done everything!" James protested. I looked up at this point giggling at them. I had a ton of tricks up my sleeves. I used to prank the Slyhethrin's all the time back in my time with a little help from Al.

"What? You couldn't possibly have a prank." Sirius laughed at me in disbelief.

"Well, maybe…" I said taking a couple of deep coughs. "I've done a couple of pranks back in my day."

"Like what?" James inched forward so he was closer to me. Sirius came closer too. I didn't like being this close to Sirius, especially when I kept coughing blood.

"After 8 o'clock the doors to the Great Hall are locked and can't be opened with any charm you can think of, right?" They both nodded "And Filch passes through that area only twice, once at 10 and then again at 11:30ish." Leaning in closer still they hung on my every word. "What we are going to do is bust into the great hall and decorate it all in Gryffindor colors. I mean everything. To top it off all the bust and statues within the great hall will chant some song, anyone you two can think of." They raised an eyebrow not seeing how it was up to their standards "Not done…Now the Slytherin's will get the worst. Right during breakfast while there's a stir going on about these decorations we will permanently stick all the Slyhethrin's we can to their seats. While they are there enjoying the view we will change their robes red and their hair blond. On top of that bewitch all their goblets to dump on them every time they try to drink."

"Is that even possible?" James asked raising an eyebrow.

"It is if you listen to me." I smirked letting out a couple more coughs. "The goblets we can do the night before, that's easy. It's getting all the Slytherins stuck and acting like it's not our fault that's the hard part." I coughed a bit more.

"How are we going to get in the great hall? Believe me we've tried and we can't do it." Sirius said backing away from me a bit. Thank goodness I can breathe now.

I flipped over the parchment I was doodling on and started to draw an outline of the great hall. "Okay, see this window right here? It's the weakest one of them all. It can easily be open from the outside." I grinned over at them.

"What's your point? No one could get there." Sirius said seeing a slight flaw in my plan.

"Let me worry about that." I coughed a bit.

"I wouldn't want you to go alone Ko." James sighed looking at me with concern.

"Fine then we don't have to go over the top and we can just stick the Slytherin's to their seats. How cliché" I coughed a bit and got up to throw the parchment away. I didn't get very far before Sirius grabbed my arm.

"It needs to be over the top. We'll accept your help" Sirius grinned.

* * *

If someone would have told me that my Christmas break would be spent at the Potters plotting with James and Sirius, I would have told them that they were crazy. So now as I sat in a compartment on the train back to Hogwarts with the boys (minus Peter, he stayed at school apparently trying to avoid his aunt Mildred.) I was flabbergasted. Apparently so did everyone else who was riding back up to Hogwarts was seeing as several students found it fit to peak into the compartment to see if I was really sitting next to Sirius Black.

"I personally think we can do a better distraction than that." Remus said as we poured over our notes of the plan spilling it out for the brains to approve of.

"How so?" James asked not seeing a flaw in this plan at all. He was rather proud of it and I could tell.

"Anything marked with Gryffindor would lead them straight to us, save Kobato." Remus sighed and glanced at the door just as a couple of girls scowled by at the sight of me sitting next to Sirius.

"Then what do you have in mind?" I asked lazily, though I was thoroughly excited to pull a prank even if I wasn't going to admit it. This would be my first one in ages. I didn't have anyone to help me pull them off. And when I pulled a prank off it was a grand prank. I needed it to be over the top.

"It's simple" Remus leaned forward looking at Sirius than at me till finally it clicked.

"Brillant…no one would know any better." I grinned broadly turning happily at Sirius, who was grinning as well.

"We've made bigger scenes before" Sirius turned giddily to James who was just as giddy "This is the perfect distraction!"

Sirius then turned to me after a fist bump with James and then proceeds to bump fist with me. I regretted doing it the moment I did the friendly gesture. There was a loud high pitch screaming coming from over by the door. All our heads whirl at once as all eyes focus on Lily and Raven with their mouths hanging wide open with eyes as big as golf balls.

Raven acted first after a couple moments of awkward silence, she walked forward and grabbed me tightly around my waist and threw me over her shoulder. "Which one of you confounded her?" No one said anything to Raven's harsh accusing voice. She carried on "Imperius?" Yet again no one responded.

Lily took a step forward "So than the rumors are true?" She stomped forward and narrowed her eyes.

"Lily-flower calm down! I grantee the rumors are false." James smiled and attempted to reach out towards Lily. Lily revolted away and turned to face me.

"You poor thing, Kobato" Lily smiled and patted me on the head. "Sit with people who are a lot better than this lot." She flipped her hair angrily and walked out of the compartment, Raven following behind her. I gave the boys a weary smile as I was pulled elsewhere.

It wasn't until later at dinner that I discovered that apparently Sirius nearly killed me, than kidnapped me in case I really did die, thus getting himself kicked out of the house. Both Sirius and I found this highly amusing and got into 'fights' about finishing what we started on Christmas Eve. We carried this out for a good week till our plan was about to be thrown into action. The boys made a big act of going to bed early on the Thursday night of our plan. Than about an hour later after they went to bed I faked a panic attack saying James still had my potions paper. So I ran up to get it and no one thought anything weird of that.

Of course when I got there they weren't really asleep, instead they were laid out on the floor with childish grins filling their cheeks. We planned for leaving around 11:45 which was still an hour away.

"I still don't see how you can get through that window." Sirius raised a skeptical eyebrow at me asking me for the 100th time how I can get through that window. I ignored and took a seat next to James and Remus as he continued to pound me for answers "I mean you are small and all but not that sm-"

I cut him off feeling annoyed with these silly questions "And I still don't see why you felt the need to snog Mel during dinner. But alas you did."

"What does my evening snog have to do with anything?" Sirius rolled his eyes and stared at me with that annoyed look he often gets when I pick on his 'love' habits.

I just smirked at him "I don't ask how and why you do what you do. You just do it without me."

"I can show yo-"

"Anyways!" Remus loudly cut Sirius off knowing any perverted comments from Sirius made me hex him into oblivion. "Peter you sure it's 11:30 Filch walks by the Great Hall?"

Peter nodded then squeaked a timid "Yes."

"And James you have those spells down?" Remus turned to James who nodded proudly. Than Remus looked at Sirius, than at me "I'm assuming you two are set?"

"Been dreaming about this" I laughed happily.

"Same" Sirius grinned.

From there we just idly wasted our time talking about the Hufflepuff versus Ravenclaw in a couple of weeks, till finally it was time to head down.

"Put this on Kobato." James ordered me while holding out what I knew to be his invisibility cloak. "It's one thing for us to be out late but if you get caught…"

"I won't get caught." I angrily rolled my eyes and pushed the invisibility cloak back towards him as I walked out of their dorm and headed to the luckily empty common room, the boys quickly followed at my heels. Silently we walked out of the portrait hole and onward till we reached the hallway were I planned to part with them out the grand windows.

"Good luck sis." James smirked and ruffled my hair.

"I'll be fine. It's you losers who can't get caught." I laughed softly.

"Why I never! Me get in trouble? That hasn't happened ever!" Sirius teased.

"Too right you are" James playful smiled and punched Sirius in the arm before leaving me be. Waving they departed with big grins on their faces. I watched and waited till they were out of eye sight before I unlatched one of the windows.

Whispering to no one I said "sorry" knowing full well I was only to use my animgus in case of an emergency. Well, I call fun an emergency. Letting myself go, I felt the painful but strange transformation take over as I shifted from a tiny human girl into a tiny little dove. Trading my arms for wings and my hair for feathers, I smiled to myself and headed out into the crisp night time air.

It took me a while to find my bearings but when I finally did I found it was smooth sailing to the Great Hall. The hardest part was fidgeting with the window to get it open. Finally I got it open after a couple of minutes of fidgeting and I made my way inside. Softly I landed on the ground to get ready to open the door. I had to wait until I saw a white paper slide underneath the cracks saying "Mars is right next to Uranus" chosen by James himself. It didn't take much time for them to come and soon I was opening the door for them and waited for the last one to come in before Sirius helped me close it.

"Talk like there's a sleeping baby in the room." James smirked before going off his way, Peter and Remus teaming up going another, leaving Sirius and I to head for the Slyhterin table.

Together Sirius and I worked on the benches and randomly picking different Goblets to bewitch here and there. We worked on opposite ends till slowly we made our way to each other. It took us a good 15 minutes to finally get even close to each other to throw a whisper at the other person. I was started to get extremely tired seeing as it was getting past my bed time by a lot. The only problem with this was I was more likely to cough up blood if I stay up to late. I think Sirius was starting to notice me getting paler and weaker as we inched closer and closer to each other.

"Why don't you take a seat, I can handle the rest." He whispered over to me as I bewitched another cup.

"Nah, I'm just fine. A little tired…and besides I can't sit on this table" I laughed softly.

"Good point Kobato." He joined in laughing at me as we finished up the last bit of the table. It was then I noticed the handy work the other guys were doing. All the candles on the ceiling were dancing, the bust were singing and dancing as well all in sync. And someone had made it snow heart shaped flakes that would make it halfway down the ceiling then disappear. Also as an added bonus someone managed to have the words "We are all pretty cool people let's love and not fight." Flash in bright pink. All in the honor of the recent muggle killings along with some Aurora's who had died this week alone.

"We're pretty amazing." Sirius said admiring the handy work as well.

"I feel like we aren't doing enough to the Slytherin's" I commented.

"I think we are, once they try to get up the only way they can is to take off their pants or robes. And I mean not only that every time they try to take a drink…Well, it will all be done their robes" Sirius laughed picturing every moment of it.

"Mmm, maybe." I grinned and did a little bit more handy work on the Slytherin table.

"What are you doing now?" Sirius asked curiously as I cast a couple more spells at random at the table.

"Just making it so that whenever the touch the silverware they get glittery hands and whatever they touch with that hand gets glittery as well." I said off handedly.

"How do you know this stuff?" He wondered watching my every move closely.

"There's more to me then you know and if you actually let me hit you with a curse you'd know that." I let out a small cough, realizing how tired I was starting to get. Sirius stared over at me for a bit before he walked over to James and had a word with him. Next thing I knew Sirius was picking me up on his back and taking me back towards the common room. I didn't really pay much attention at this point. I let my weariness get to me as I drifted off holding onto him as tight as I could. I ended up falling asleep and not waking up till early in the morning when James and Sirius were scurrying around getting us all up to go downstairs.

I let out a loud scream at the sight of them in just boxers and a t-shirt.

"What! What's wrong Kobato!" James quickly ran to my side. Realizing I was in Sirius' bed I screamed again, jumped up, pulled the blankets with me, covered my eyes and backed up to the wall.

I heard Sirius let out his bark laugh "You're okay." He laughed letting the boys join in.

"I don't remember sleeping here! Let alone _your _bed" I shrieked over at Sirius, mortified that something might have happened.

"Relax" Sirius rolled his eyes "Like I'd touch you. You were out as soon as I made it out of the Great Hall last night." He spat.

"I knew that…" I mumbled.

"Anyways, go get ready." James commanded as he pulled me towards their bathroom making me drop the blanket. Quickly he threw me in and made me shower and get ready for the day in top speed. And in no time we were all ready to go down and let our ploy start. Our plan was for me to yell at Sirius for knocking me out then not taking me to the hospital wing, rather his bed. In this case my little Slytherin friends would freak out at the thought and attempt to save me only to find their butts glued to the seat.

The boys all walked down a little bit before me. Than after two or three minutes past I ran down stairs screaming for Sirius.

"Sirius Black!" I shouted. Whoever was in the common room stopped to watch Sirius, Peter, James, and Remus who were just about to exit through the portrait hole, turn to look at me with confused looks on their face. "I'm going to murder you!" I didn't stop running. Sirius took his cue to run as well. Soon I was chasing him down to the Great Hall with James, Peter, and Remus following closely behind me 'attempting' to get my attention away from Sirius who I was chasing.

"Wait we can explain!" They called after me. Meanwhile I called after Sirius.

"Black! You filthy blood traitor!" I shouted faking anger as best as I could, though I was finding this amusing.

Sirius looked back at me pulling out his wand. I followed the suit as we continued to run forward "I could say the same about you!" He snarled.

Finally we made it to the Great Hall. He took the side of the Gryffindor table nearest he Ravenclaw and I took the side nearest the Slytherin table. There was already a great stir. With our handwork laid out everyone was in awe at the dancing candles and busts. And almost everyone was talking about the heart shaped snow and flashing lights. Nothing was wrong with the Slytherin table yet. It looks like no one had bothered to get up, yet. That was about to change. I knew Sirius was admiring our handwork as well for he didn't say anything at first. Finally I broke the silence as James, Remus and Peter made their way to us with wands out as well.

"I can't believe you! You knock me out then drag me to your bed, not even bothering with the hospital wing!" I said with a disbelieving look. This brought all eyes to us and off the babble of the decorations. Since my back was to the Slytherin table I didn't get to find out if any of them tried moving yet, but I was dying to see. Judging by Sirius' face no one did move. Although there was a slight smirk on his face not related to our fight. I wonder if he just witnessed someone with glitter on their face or juice spilling down their front.

"Why bother? You're not worth my time." Sirius rolled his eyes over at me.

"You are so heartless, seriously you just treat woman however you p-"Sirius cut me off.

"Oh just shut up already. I hate you so much." I knew Sirius didn't mean it. I knew he didn't but hearing those words ring in my head again like they did over a month ago struck deep inside of me. I think the Slytherins noticed it too as tears began to streak down my face. I heard them struggling to get up and picking a few choice words that I wouldn't us.

But his words didn't stop ringing in my head no matter what noise I heard around me. I couldn't shake it. Feeling awful I finally pointed my wand at him ready to actually hex him. He noticed it right away. I think he panicked because we never agreed to actually hex each other because he threw a nasty spell at me. I didn't have time to dodge it. It hit me straight in the chest knocking more than the wind out of me as I flew backwards with a distinct crash I won't soon forget. I felt glass breaking underneath me and digging painfully into my back as warm blood oozed out all around me. And then everything moved in slow motion. The people around me at the Slytherin table were trying to get up to help me, screaming at the blood that was pouring out. And it didn't take long for them to realize they couldn't get up to save me. It also didn't take long either for the rest of the hall to figure out what was going on. I knew I had to get up but I was so weak. The plan was falling apart and at that moment I knew it worked, not only because the Slytherin's could get up, my feet were stuck to the bench as well.

The screaming didn't stop there though. I was crying and losing more blood and along with that blood my consciousness. Everything was starting to go black as I heard Lily screaming at James as Raven must have been holding her back for coming towards me because I heard Raven screaming as well, angry and fearful tears. From there I felt my own tears come out of my eyes as someone put their hand within mine. I turned my head to see Snape stuck nearby holding my hand. I smiled weakly before turning the other way. Just barely I could make out Sirius standing there with the most fearful look on his face. That was the last thing I saw before I passed out.

* * *

I knew I was at St. Mungos. I had a hard time opening my eyes every time I tried. I just felt so weak. All around me I would hear voices during what I assumed to be the day. I knew I heard Triggers almost all the time with different people. At one point it was Mr. and Mrs. Potter then I heard Mr. and Mrs. Black and a slew of other purebloods. It was all very confusing and too much to take in. I guess as I laid there I thought more and more of how much I hated Sirius Black. This was all his fault. He ruined the one plan I was excited for. And now here I was in St. Mungos probably clinging to life, or I was clinging to life that was my guess because I knew Trigger never left my side. He couldn't, being the only person who could actually give me blood.

I feel like Sirius and I were never meant to get along at this point. As I laid there more and more my thoughts brew into what was harsh hateful feelings towards Sirius. I honestly couldn't help it even if I wanted too. I just was so annoyed with him.

Finally after days of brewing my thoughts I was finally able to wake up and not hear the disembodied voices surrounding me. I looked around to see Trigger sitting with his arms resting on his knees as thought about things. The minute he heard movement he rushed over to my side with his Vampire speed.

"You're awake." He gasped taking my face gently in his hands so he could peer into my eyes. "I'm so glad I was here. You would have been dead if I wasn't here. I've been so afraid that might happen." He sighed and took a seat next to me on the bed.

"It's okay" I said in a very harsh voice. I felt so tired and weak.

"Shhh don't talk." He smiled weakly while looking down at me. "Why don't you rest some more, we can talk later."

I did just that. I fell asleep again and knew that I was out for a while before I finally woke up again. Once I did there was a full out questioning of what happened. All I said was Sirius and I got into a big fight. I didn't want to say anything else because according to Dumbledore (who came to visit to find out the events) they never found out who stuck all the Slyhtherins down. And apparently because of the charm we did they couldn't get me off of the table. Somehow I had gotten stuck to the table like the Slytherin's did with the chairs, with some fancy bit of magic he added. He kept telling me it was a serious matter because I almost died. And he realized that what happened between Sirius and I was an accident but the fact that I stuck to the table and nearly died was a serious problem. I just couldn't do it, yes I was filled with hate towards Sirius, but I didn't want to bust everyone. I did have my doubts though. I think Dumbledore knew it was them he just wanted to hear it from me.

Overall I was in St. Mungo's for a couple of weeks before I was finally free to go back to Hogwarts. Though that wasn't much better than being in St. Mungo's…I wasn't allowed to carry any of my things, nor could I do any magic. Thus when I made it back, waiting for me in Dumbledore's office was Lily and Raven who were told to take care of me and carry all my stuff. Raven gladly took all my stuff and willingly carried it for me. She thought of it as more training. Lily took on catching me up with homework, though all the teachers were being extremely nice about it and just wanted me to worry about what we were learning now.

I arrived right before dinner so the three of us walked down to dinner together and Lily and Raven were giving me an earful.

"I'm so glad you are doing better" Lily smiled once more resisting the urge to hug me again.

Raven on the other hand had a bit of a scowl "Which is why you are going to stay away from that prick Black."

"I was planning on it." I said truthfully.

"I mean it" Raven scolded "He's been a downright prat since this happened. He only got one detention and for the three and a half weeks you were gone he's been busy snogging Ellie Prewett."

"What? Isn't she that slutty 6th year Ravenclaw?" I asked feeling even more upset at him. Clearly he didn't give two cents about me. He's been to happy snogging. Regardless if he almost killed me, he didn't care.

"That's the one." Lily nodded "Not like _Potter_ cared either, your supposed friend" Lily spat Potter with such venom it almost hurt to hear it.

"What makes you say that?" I asked looking horrified. I would assume James cared! His parents visited me and…well he sent me at least one letter.

"Oh he's been his usually happy self pulling pranks left and right. Giving poor Sev a hard time as well…"

I had grown fond of Snape during the time I was in the hospital because I remember him reaching out giving me a reassuring hand. I remembered that a lot and that warm feeling it left me. He was such a sweet guy, despite what anyone thought. So hearing this news upset me as well. "I'm glad to know who my true friends are." I smiled at Raven and Lily before reaching out and grabbing their hands as we entered the Great Hall.

Entering was like nothing I had ever experienced before in my whole time at Hogwarts. There was this eerie silence as we walked to an open spot at the Gryffindor table far away from the boys. All eyes seemed to follow me as well. There were several calls from different tables welcoming me back. It was a warm feeling when other people came and physically hugged me to tell me they were glad I was okay. I felt like some kind of odd hero the way they hugged me. I was glad to see that Snape came up to me and gave me a warm hug I could object too.

"Thank you." I smiled as we pulled away from the embrace. He didn't say anything more as he left with his Slytherin friends.


	10. Chapter 10: Secret

**Chapter 10: My one and only secret is dragging you in. **

**A/N: ****I love how silly teenagers are and how indecisive they are, just saying. And thanks to: The Weatherwitch, Sirius Luffer, and all my readers and any other reviewers who recently reviewed that I missed. You guys are so sweet :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

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Friends have a great influence over your life. I didn't fully realize that till about a week after I had gotten back. We were on our way to D.A.D.A. when it hit me. Both Raven had told me they had dates for the hogsmeade trip on Saturday. I was a bit upset because I still wasn't able to go anywhere on my own and if I didn't have someone to go to hogsmeade with I couldn't go. And I thought to myself I'll just ask James…but soon after I saw him Lily gave a loud tut and that was that. I realized I was still mad at him and Sirius. But why was I still mad at James? Was it just Lily's thoughts about him? Was it her and Raven's constant cold words about the two boys?

I really had no reason to hate James…I mean yes his head was full, but I knew deep down it wasn't always like that. But in a way I guess I was fine not being his friend because then I wouldn't have to face Sirius either. I mean yes Sirius had been busy with that fling from Ravenclaw but still. I hadn't made eye contact with any of the boys from James' group since I got back and that was alright with me. I was honestly afraid that if I looked at any of them I'd miss them and want them back… and I was stubborn.

"Don't worry about me, I'll just ask Snape." I smiled trying to reassure them that I didn't care. The more I thought about it the more I really was okay with asking Snape. I wanted to thank him somehow even if he doesn't know that he helped me.

"I dunno Kobato. I don't really care for his friends…"Raven said truthfully as we walked on.

"Then I'll only hang out with Snape." I said feeling the same way. Yes I would talk to all of them, I just didn't like there randomly hexing muggleborns and the like just because they didn't like them.

"What like a date?" Lily's face lit up.

I blushed a bit "No! God no…"

"He deserves a good girlfriend I mean…" Lily started.

"Once you get past all the grease" Raven and I said in unison, laughing.

"You guys." Lily shook her head disapprovingly.

Neither Raven nor I respond, but silently we were snickering as we walked into the D.A.D.A. room and headed to our usual seats. I waited patiently for Snape to arrive so I could talk to him. It didn't take long before a line of Slytherin's walked in and Snape being one of them. Cautiously I got up and walked towards them as they settled in their seats.

"Hey Nightray!" Avery happily said as I made my way over to them.

"Hey Avery." I smiled warmly before turning to Snape "Snape? Can we talk?" I asked gingerly. All the boys in the area were giving me an odd look. I attempted to ignore it.

"Of course Nightray." Snape responded in his usual monotone voice. He didn't move at all. Snape clearly didn't get the hint that I wanted it to be in private. Oh well, I will just have to change my plan a little bit.

"Lily and Raven both have dates on Saturday." I said well focusing intently on my feet. "So could I tag along with you?" I asked gingerly while slowly pulling my blushing face up to look at Snape. His face at first went from what I took to be upset to a softer much more friendly appearance before he finally talked.

"I wasn't planning on going." He said truthfully make my face fall a bit. "But we can go." He said hastily and in the nicest tone he knew how.

"Thank you!" I smiled warmly "Met you outside the great hall at 11?" I asked enthusiastically.

"Sounds good" and with that I turned back towards Lily and Raven while giving them two thumbs up.

"You worry too much" Lily rolled her eyes "No one in their right mind would say no to you." She grinned playfully and I plopped down in my seat.

"Dunno, I can think of one" Raven laughed while eyeing someone who I knew to be Sirius somewhere behind us.

"Good thing jerks don't count" I laughed with Raven and Lily only to be cut off short.

"Settle down class." Professor Heartwig called from the front of the room. The lull of talking slowly faded as the attention was moved to the front as Professor Heartwig made his presences known. I knew the class was excited to learn more about Vampires. It's one of the more interesting topics, but as for me, I' was not excited nor to happy about it. I listened none the less. "Now last class we talked about different types of Vampires." He looked around the room at all of us as we nodded our heads in agreement. "Mr. Lupin, can you please refresh our memories?" He asked peering directly behind me where Remus sat.

"Of course Professor" Remus responded politely. "There are the purebloods, who are considered noble. Then there are of course the Elite, which are higher than regular Vampires, but still lower than purebloods." At this point Remus took a deep breath before carrying on "Next up is those who suffer from Vampire Reflex. And last is the vicious Mutant Vampires" Remus finished strong.

"Twenty points for Gryffindor." Profess Heartwig smiled "Good good, which brings us to today's lesson on Vampire reflex and mutant Vampires."

I watched as Professor Heartwig walked to the board but yet it seemed blurred to me. I shook my head as I felt my hand twitch up to my neck. I strained my eyes to attempt to see Professor Heartwig, but another scene was flashing before my eyes, one that was not as pleasant as the classroom I was in.

_Red cold eyes were staring me down. My body seemed to move on its own out of fear. I backing away out of my will in a fast movement that caused me to brush against a hard branch, instantly ripping the side of my stomach. I felt the warm sticky blood ooze out as I moved backwards a couple steps more all the while trying to calm myself down. I couldn't do it though, I was afraid. I looked up as best as I could. I regretted it the moment my eyes met the figure before me. I felt my eyes grow wider with fear from the grotesque figure just feet ahead of me licking his lips in a longing sort of way._

"_Kobato Cross was it?" He asked in a sickening voice. _

I shook my head. No, not now. Focus. I stared forward, listening as hard as I could to Professor Heartwig's calm voice. "Now can anyone tell me how Vampire Reflex happens?" I watched as he spelled out Vampire Reflex on the board. The harder I concentrated on the scene before me the harder my grip on my neck would be. I was trying to claw my skin off on my neck to stop myself from shaking, I was afraid of what my mind would do. I needed to stay here.

"Ah yes, Miss Evans" Professor Heartwig turned to Lily with a warm smile on his face.

"In order to contract Vampire Reflex one must have had the blood of a Vampire drunken, whether that Vampire is Pureblood or an Elite it does not matter." Lily said word for word from our textbook that she had memorized.

My eyes blurred again as I watched Lily get ten more points for Gryffindor. Everything was feeling fuzzy again. My stomach was feeling queasy as I felt the urge to puke, cough, and faint all at once.

_I was bleeding more as he took a leap forward. The Mutant attempted to grab me but to no avail. He only succeeded in drawing more blood and adding to my cuts and scrapes._

"_Why are you trying to run away, I'll just take a small taste." His lips twisted into the smile of the devil. I coward backwards more, as I hoped and prayed the Night class could at least smell me. We were nearby, someone had to notice. Anyone and at this pointed I honestly didn't care who as I fumbled with my gun meanwhile he stepped closer and closer to me. I back flipped onto the nearest tree, finding out that, that was a bad move. It was a weaker tree than I had anticipated for and quickly cracked under my weight and threw me to the ground, which only added to my pain and blood that was coming seeping from my body. _

_Oh god no, lost my gun and my hope in my feeble attempt to save myself. I didn't have anything left. I needed to run. It's all I could do now, run._

"One thing you guys need to understand is how much honor Vampires have. It is against their honor and laws to change a citizen into a Vampire unless they are willing." My eyes snapped back into focus as Professor Heartwig rambled on. "They only share their blood with non-Vampires when someone has lost enough blood to kill them. By doing this they have saved a life and in returned gained some powers from the Vampire themselves." He nodded at us watching each and every one of us closely. "See once someone has drunken the blood of a Vampire they can either have Vampire Reflex and be half of a Vampire or become a full one themselves. The Vampires always let the non-Vampire chose more times than not." He took a dramatic breathe "But there is one worry brought with having Vampire Reflex, other than all the symptoms it brings."

_A cold merciless thirsty laugh filled the air as I ran. He was not human. His voice was that of the devils. His eyes were that of death and his movements that of a killer. He was a Mutant Vampire. He had fused the bloods of two Elites. He was gone beyond human repair and into the land of the devil. There was no hope as he hunted to kill me by obtaining every last drop of my blood._

"Can anyone tell me why that is?" Professor Heartwig looked around. I looked up slowly, no one was responding.

I knew the answer. Delicately the words dripped out of my mouth. "If a person with Vampire Reflex is bitten by a Vampire other than the one who put Vampire blood in their body, there will be a reaction that turns them into a Mutant Vampire, more often than not."

"Correct!" Professor Heartwig smiled happily. I felt a couple of eyes on me as I continued to pale. I had at least let go of my neck, feeling I was about to break the skin. Instead I grabbed onto my necklace tightly as my eyes blurred out again. Attempting to ignore the stares I had gained and the sickness that was waving over me again.

_I lost. I was fallen and this mutant was sucking my blood. The sound…I hated the sound. I can't stop him. He's too strong. I was feeling faint and I wanted nothing more than to be able to let go. But that star was taunting me. It was telling me to hold on. But what for? _

_Then as soon as it started it had stopped. There was some vicious thrashing going around as I feebly closed my eyes letting the loss of blood get to me and the silence fill me._

"_I was too late…Kobato can you hear me?" I didn't recognize the voice. _

"This is why class, it's dangerous to not be a Vampire. There are set hunters who dispose of these Mutant Vampires because all they do is kill for blood. They have no self control." Professor Heartwig said seriously snapping me out. But I didn't last much longer before more scenes flashed before me.

"_I'm sorry Mr. and Mrs. Cross, I was too late. I had to give her my blood." My eyes were just barely open as I looked around the room to see Trigger Nightray and my parents talking over my body with a heartbreaking look upon their faces. _

"_I'm just glad she's alive." My mom sniffled into her hands "Thank you Trigger." She sobbed a bit more. _

"_I'd do anything for her. She's such a sweet girl." Trigger smiled warmly to my parents. "Of course from here out it's her choice if she becomes a Vampire or not." My parents nodded at his words. I on the other hand threw the blankets off and angrily stood up on the bed. _

"_No!" I screamed as loudly as I could. All eyes were focused on me. Trigger's face was a bit crest fallen but he nodded and took a couple steps towards me. I on the other hand turned back to my bed and cowered away from him. I was scared of one of the purebloods. I was scared of all of them. What was wrong with me?_

"Kobato are you okay?" I heard Raven whisper as she shook me. "You're really pale."

"What…oh…I" I stood up quickly feeling confused on where I was as more images of me running scared from Trigger filled my mind. I felt my body shake.

"_Kobato" _Triggers voice pleaded in my head over and over again…

I wanted to puke as blood began to find its way into my throat, I hated who I was. I hated that I was saved, why did he save me? I hated being so small. I hated that I was never going to grow up. I hated having his blood. It made me sick to my stomach knowing I needed his blood to survive from here out.

"_Kobato"_

I wasn't going to make it. I was going to throw up. I ignored everything around me and just ran out of the classroom. I ran to the nearest bathroom and threw up several times. When I finally stopped I was feeling a lot better, but overall weak. Sighing in defeat I made my way up to the Gryffindor common room so I could rest my head on my pillow and take a nap before my next class.

* * *

I really did mean to get up for my afternoon class of Care of Magical creatures, I really did. But that never happened. I woke up some time after dinner was up feeling a lot better. But after all my thoughts and dreams I felt lonely up in the dorm by myself. So I decided I wasn't in the mood to be up there so I quickly cleaned up in the bathroom before I headed down to the common room. When I got there I was a little upset to find that both Raven and Lily were no there. On top of that James, Sirius, and Peter were making a bit of a ruckus by bothering some first and second years by making pillows chase them around. Sighing I walked over to Remus who was sitting in a nearby chair watching his friends with a torn look on his face.

"Remus?" I asked having a hard time ignoring the over boys.

"Oh Kobato, how are you feeling?" He questioned looking me over for any sign of illness and then went right back to staring at his friends.

"Mmmm better, a bit hungry though." I smiled warmly.

"That's good, I was really worried about you in class.'' Remus smiled sincerely."You want to go the kitchens? I'll escort you." Still with that torn look, he looked away from his friends choosing to ignore their behavior even though he was a perfect.

"That would be lovely." I said truthfully as I grabbed his outstretched arm and we started walking out of the common room leaving the noise behind. "So what happened to Lily and Raven?"

"James thought it fit to ask Lily out again." Remus laughed as he stepped through the portrait hole and gently guided me through it "To Hogsmeade that is."

"She has a date though. She's going with that Robison from Ravenclaw." I stated, thinking her date was a fine choice.

"Yes, but it's Valentine 's Day on Saturday." I stopped walking at his words only to be pulled forward because I was holding on to his arm.

"What." I asked gapping my mouth open.

"Saturday, the Hogsmeade trip…it's on Valentine's Day." Remus stared at me bemused "Didn't you know?" still not believing I didn't know.

"No I didn't." I stared forward before slamming my hand into my forehead. "Oh god…and here I asked Snape."

"Is that what that was about this morning?" Remus laughed "James was not happy that you were talking to Snape." He said walking forward so we could get to the kitchens a bit faster. I followed his leaded as my stomach gave a loud growl.

"Why would he care? He didn't care when I got back from St. Mungos." I snarled jumping over a trick stair and letting out a couple of coughs.

"He cared, he just was afraid of you." Remus looked over at me watching for my reaction. My eyes widened a bit before I shook it off.

"What's there to be afraid of? I'm just me." I shrugged and picked up the pace.

"You're not afraid of anything and you can handle almost anything that comes your way." He paused for a moment thinking "To see you in that state, really shocked James and Sirius. They forgot you are always ill." He looked down at me searching and hoping for something.

I was blushing by now. There was a compliment somewhere in there, but yet I had nothing to say as I looked down at my feet feeling embarrassed that I made a big scene of not being their friends just because they didn't want to hurt me anymore. Finally I looked back up at Remus as I was coughing. His face wore a serious expression as our eyes met.

"You cough up a lot of blood." He commented as I coughed a bit more violently into my handkerchief. "And you can't take replenishing potions."

I blinked at him for a bit. "What about you? You're always gone when there's a full moon." I countered knowing where he was going. "And what about that lunar chart by your bed?"

"You have Vampire Reflex." He stated smiling at me.

"And you are a Werewolf." I mirrored his smile. We nodded at each other in acknowledgement.

"When did it happen, if you don't mind me asking?" He looked down gently.

"Oh I don't mind. I was about ten if you couldn't tell from my height." I said bitterly hating how short I was.

"I figured it was a younger age." He paused while looking up as if searching for the right words. "You know…for the paper for D.A.D.A., I was reading in the book and it said that often the person who is affected will never grow any taller if they were still growing at the time of contact."

"We seriously have to do a paper on that? Lame. But yeah I won't get any bigger." I sighed.

"It doesn't make you any less of a person." He patted my head in a gentle manner.

"I know…I've been told that before, I just wish I could be as beautiful and as perfect as those girls Black brings back." I let another sigh slip from my lips feeling disappointed the more I thought I about.

"But you have something they don't have." What that was I never found out because we had made our way to the kitchens. Happily the elves brought me whatever food I wanted. I gratefully ate what I could before Remus and I made our way back to the common room. By the time we made it back I already made up my mind to listen to Remus' pleads to forgive the boys, so willingly I let Remus lead me over to where James, Sirius, and Peter were located.

I was just about to say something when I felt an arm pull me away. James and Sirius were looking at me with such curious eyes as my body was whirled around to face Lily and Raven.

"There you are! You can't go anywhere by yourself anymore. McGonagall says if you run off once more you'll be sent back to St. Mungos." Lily commented glaring at the boys.

"What? But I just went to take a nap!" I said annoyed. The last thing I wanted was to go to St. Mungos again.

"Doesn't matter, you need to be careful." Lily sighed and pulled me away. I didn't protest.

"You can help us with this paper about Vampire Reflex and Mutant Vampires." Raven commented while putting a fist in the air showing her enthusiasm.

I stared forward now avoiding the boys again as they pulled me to where they were sitting by the fire. I attempted not let a groan slip through my mouth as we started the vicious paper.

The paper didn't take us long at all. Classes the rest of the week were a breeze. I only had a couple of dizzy spells here and there but nothing to major. I never did make up with James and Sirius, every time I tried some reason or another I would get pulled away. Some of those reasons being several guys wanted to ask me to Hogsmeade, though a bit too late. I was a little sad but soon I found out that it was Saturday morning and I needed to get ready to hang out with Snape and maybe some other Slytherins. The thought made me not as upset that I had to reject at least five different guys.

"Lily stop worrying! You look gorgeous." I repeated for the 100th time that morning.

"Easy for you to say, you're just going as friends. I'm hoping for more" Lily said exasperated.

"Oh please" Raven rolled her eyes "If James Potter wants you any other guy must be dropping dead to be your boy."

"This is true." I laughed finishing my final touches on my make-up.

Lily looked over with a stern look "Yes…well." And came up with nothing, instead she changed the topic all together. "I already talked with Sev, you can't be under too much strain."

"Yes, mother." I teased earning myself a sock in the face courtesy of Lily.

"I'm serious!" Lily said looking very upset.

"I know you are." I reassured.

"I was scared for –"

I cut her off not wanting to hear more "I know…let's just finish getting ready." I smiled.

"She's right! I look horrid." Raven panicked as she threw more clothing on the ground scattering our dorm.

I was just about to suggest she wear something when Kathleen one of our other dorm mates spoke up "Why don't you were that pink sweater? I always thought it was adorable on you." Kathleen said timidly.

We all looked up in shook as Kathleen and Bri stood there picking out their own outfits while eyeing us curiously.

"Thanks Kat" Raven winked and went searching for the sweater mentioned.

"Are you girls going to Hogsmeade as well?" Lily questioned at the two shy girls.

"Oh yes, but only just the two of us, no boys." Bri answered blushing madly.

"Good to know, if my day goes wrong I'll find you two." I smiled kindly trying to welcome them in. It wasn't often the five of us were in here at the same time.

"You're going with Snape aren't you?" Kathleen questioned.

I nodded "Yeah…"

"I overheard Sirius talking about it with Remus" Bri blushed.

"Huh…that's odd." I commented throwing a couple of looks over at Raven and Lily.

"Odd indeed" Raven raised an eyebrow but pushed no farther.

We got ready in unison and found Kathleen and Bri to be a great help. Feeling we all looked our best and happy that we all got to have a nice chat, we headed down to the Great hall. Raven, Lily and I all meeting our dates and Kathleen and Bri to walk down together. We all parted with a friendly goodbye and went searching. It didn't take long for me to Snape he was all by himself far off in the corner. Smiling I walked as quickly as I could to him.

"Sorry, were you waiting long?" I questioned as soon as I was close enough for him to hear me.

"Oh no…not at all" Snape responded in his usual voice.

"Lily was taking forever" I rolled my eyes while grabbing his arm for support.

"Really?" I loved how much he perked up whenever I mentioned her name "She looks fine." He noted seeing her beautiful red hair bouncing as she walked away with Robison.

"Just like always" I smiled leading us forward. "Where are your other friends? I figured we'd be with them." I asked finally noticing it was officially just him and I.

"Oh I assumed you didn't want to be around them, I said I'd met up with them later." He said honestly as we made our way out into the February sunshine. It was a warm day all considered and I was glad I was able to walk with Snape.

"Thanks." I smiled affectionately truly appreciating the thought. "I hope you don't mind the health precautions we have to take for me?" I asked.

"Lily already went over it with me." He rolled his eyes, it was the first time I had ever seen him slightly annoyed with Lily. "Not like I was going to run a marathon with you into a broom closet."

I snorted "Is that what she thought? We do have a reputation for saying we are going to do something then we just go to a closet don't we?" I laughed. He just smiled.

"It is Valentine's Day." He scowled.

"You know I honestly forgot it was." I said straightforwardly before going onto tease Snape "And here I am going with Severus Snape."

"You could have gone with anyone else. I understand." He said depressed, not taking the joke to well at all.

I shoved him playfully. "Shush."

"What it's the truth! You and Lily are one of the most talked about girls, even if Lily is…"

"A muggleborn." I stopped him before he could say mudblood. I knew it was a habit of his to call all the muggleborns, mudblood. I had heard him do it many times and I hated it every time. "And you know that makes her no less of a person."

"Why couldn't it be you?" He questioned to what seemed more to himself then to me. I watched as he ruffled his hair then turned to face me seeming to be frustrated with himself. "Why are you so nice to me anyways?"

"I thought that was a given." I smiled looking up at him as I held tightly onto his arm "We are friends you see."

He didn't say anything rather he just looked down at his feet. "I didn't…never mind." He sighed admitting defeat.

"Anyways!" I cheered happily to change the subject. "Where are we going to go?" I asked looking up at him with curious eyes as we neared closer and closer to Hogsmeade.

"What you don't want to go to the coffee shop?" He joked with a playful smirk on his lips.

"You really want that snog don't you?" I teased right back "Too bad that falls under 'too much physical activity'" I laughed.

He on the other hand blushed "I never said I wanted to snog!" He defensively spat out.

I just laughed. "Of course not, you'd rather snog Lily." I carried on teasing him. He blushed even more at this point. I decided I should drop the subject as he stomped forward pulling me with him into the snow covered village.

From there we ended up venturing into Honeydukes were I bought us some chocolate to share. After that we went into The Three broomsticks and had a nice warm butterbeer while we held a conversation and ate some of the chocolates I bought us. After an hour or so of chatting we were joined with some of his other Slytherin friends and their dates. We had to join a couple of tables together but it was well worth it as we laughed and talked the afternoon away. On occasion I would get annoyed by the jibs at muggleborns and the talk of Voldemort, but overall it was a pleasant afternoon and by 2 o'clock we decided to stretch our legs out and take a walk in the nice weather to the shrieking shack.

"Malfoy?" I questioned seeing as he was leading the group. Snape had wondered a little far from me leaving me with Narcissa (I believe was her name) and her friend Claire Barton, from Slytherin as well.

"Please call me Lucius, Kobato." He slowed down to where us girls were.

"Lucius, sorry…Could we take it slow? I still can't do a whole lot." I questioned gingerly.

"Of course, I forgot you were still recovering from what that blood traitor did." He commented "It's a good thing Mr. Black got rid of him when he did."

"This reminds me." Avery asked turning behind and slowing pace near me and the girls. "What did happen on Christmas Eve?"

I let out a laugh which earned me some weird looks. "The rumors were pretty much true." I laughed a bit more "I went to the bathroom since I wasn't feeling so great after being thrown across the whole room. And after that I figured some fresh air would help me freshen up a bit and next thing I know Si-Black had grabbed me, demanded I apparate somewhere and I listened. End of story." I lied through my teeth, but oh well. They were Death Eaters what did they care, seeing as it was the other way I around. I demanded Sirius come with me, even if he didn't need me to say anything.

"Why did he demand to apparate? You don't have your license yet." Avery asked seeing some gaps in my story.

"I have my American license, in America you get them when you turn fifteen and I turned fifteen in July." I smiled proving my story to be true, at least to them. At least that part wasn't a lie, I did have my license for that reason.

"Really? I didn't know that." Mulcubier said smiling at me "Then you wouldn't mind tutoring me?"

"Yes I would." I rolled my eyes, he was hitting on me, that's usually when I left and found some other people to hang out. I'd never date any of these boys.

"Now, now." Malfoy smiled, he always loved to see me bothered when I get hit on.

I was starting to get a bit tired at this point. Snape was too far away for me to lean on, but I would make it, we were almost there. But they loved to question me so I kept going.

"Was it true then you stayed at the Potter's?" Narcissa asked with a slight giggle. That was no surprise. Everyone found James or Sirius, if not both, good looking even if they were blood traitors.

I noticed her giggle gave her a harsh look from the pureblood boys. I ignored it and answered the question anyways. "Somehow I did end up staying at their manor. Apparently I-" I stopped, everyone else stopped walking as well. They heard it too. The girly giggles that could only be Sirius' fangirls, I ignored the giggles and high pitch talk just ahead of us at the shrieking shack and carried on "I was out for a couple of days after they found Black and I. Well by then Mrs. Potter had made frie-" I was cut off as the group of Slytherins and I made our way to the group of giggling girls.

"Oh my! I didn't think they'd let you go to Hogsmeade." I looked up to see Victoria smirking while walking over to us. How she dared to do this in front of a group of Slytherin's I'll never know, but she did. "I thought you'd be considered a first year, what with how short _you_ are."

Somewhere from my right I saw Avery go for his wand. I quickly put my hand over his arm, pushing it down and then I walked forward hoping to solve this on my own.

I smirked wildly while noticing she pulled out her wand. Her girls were all staring me down with looks that could kill. I will never get why they loathe me so. "They let you in didn't they?" I sneered "What with your brains of a first year." My smile widened as the Slytherin's let out a good chuckle. Victoria ignored them though and carried on, only now she pulled out her wand and pointed it at me.

"Look, why don't we just get this over with." She said looking at her girls (all five of them at the time) and gave them a nod. "We will leave you alone once you stop being such a whore and stop hurting our dear Sirius."

I blinked for a couple of times before Malfoy's laugh filled the air and snapped me out of my thoughts of disbelief of what I was hearing. "Excuse me?" I shook my head still disbelieving and watched her carefully since she was pointing her wand at me "Your Sirius? You guys believe you own him?" I let out a shrill laugh, which the Slytherin's around me joined in. "No one can own that boy." I spat.

"Please, he's ours." One of the other girls said. All the others nodded.

"Mmm, you can try and have him. Honestly I don't care who he shags." I said truthfully. "So why are you guys so annoyed with me?" I asked taking a couple of steps forward, realizing now how weak and tired I was starting to feel. I wouldn't be surprised if I went into a coughing fit any minute now.

"I thought that would be obvious shorty." Victoria rolled her eyes and feeling annoyed and cast a spell at me. I was much quicker then she would ever be though, even if my wand wasn't even out.

I taunted her. I summoned her wand to me and dangled it in front of her face. The Slytherin's were roaring with laughter as she kept trying to lunge for it, but I kept it just out of her reach. It got even more interesting when her friends tried to help. By then I grew bored and set her wand on the ground. I waited just for her to pick it up when I decided to rip the back of her jeans.

The sound it made when the fabric ripped and the look upon her face was priceless. She was furious and embarrassed all at once. Her girls didn't like it either, so they all started attacking me at once. Luckily I had a whole group of Slytherin's all around me to defend and fight.

"You're pretty good, Kobato!" Malfoy called as him and I were dueling side by side against two 6th year girls from the fanclub.

"You're not so bad yourself, Lucius." I grinned right back as I threw a nasty jelly-leg jinx at the girl who was attacking me, narrowly missing her.

And soon only a flaming Victoria was left. We had all stopped battling. All her other girls were lying on the ground in full body-bind curse or what have you.

Malfoy turned to me at this point. Everyone still had their wands out, but no one was fighting. I was just hidden behind Malfoy and Avery, they being afraid Victoria might lass out at me. Smirking Malfoy said "Would you like the honors?"

I was exhausted to be honest. I was having a hard time keeping my eyes open at this point. At had closed them just for a second while thinking what I wanted to do to harm Victoria. I snapped them open when there was a shift of people going around me. Something was happening, but I couldn't see over the figures blocking me.

"I know you guys are Slytherin's but do you have no honor?" I heard Sirius call out from somewhere ahead of us near where Victoria was because at this point Victoria shrieked in glee. "Attacking these ladies, really?" he carried on, though from the shift in his voice I was assuming Victoria clung onto him for dear life, forgetting her friends laying on the ground.

His words seemed to fill deep inside of me and enrage me in a way I couldn't explain. He clearly couldn't see me or he probably wouldn't have made that statement, but still. Letting my rage get to me I pushed pass Malfoy and Avery and pointed my wand instead at Sirius. And sure enough, there was Victoria pants ripped and all clinging to Sirius with James, Remus, and Peter close by. The question was where was his date?

"And you're one to talk, now are you Black?" I sneered and threw him the coldest glare I could.

"Kobato? What are you doing over there?" it dawned on Sirius as soon as the words came out of his mouth. His face now contorted with anger as he pushed Victoria off and looked at her "Did you attack her?"

It was Victoria's turn to feel upset as she shrilly yelled at Sirius "She started it that horrible woman!" Sirius wasn't buying it and from the look on his face he was having a hard time not laughing from her ripped jeans that were slowly coming off of her.

"I don't believe her, Ko only attacks when provoked." James took a step forward now looking at me. I was finding it hard to stand at this point. I just wanted to rest my eyes. "Come on over here Kobato." James smiled warmly in a voice and manner that remind me of Al so much that my body seemed to just take a couple of steps on it's own to head into the welcoming arms stretched out before me. I didn't get far though before Snape grabbed me with pleading eyes.

When my blue eyes met his dark onyx eyes I broke down. James reminded me so much like Al it caused me to forget where I was for the briefest of moments. And in that brief moment of realization where I was, I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces and tears streak out of my face.

The energy it took to have the tears pulled out of my eyes and down my face seemed to weaken me even more. I felt my body fall into slow motion into Snape's arms before everything seemed to black out around me.


	11. Chapter 11: Wanted to say

**Chapter 11: I only wish you knew what I wanted to say.**

**A/N: Sorry it's been taking a while for this to come out. I have been aiming for twice a week to publish, but my graphic design class takes up too much of my time. Here is to The Weatherwitch and Carolina for asking to update soon and the nice reviews. (Not edited very well, but it's here. I'll go back over it eventually)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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When I woke up from collapsing in Hogsmeade I felt so disoriented. I knew I wasn't in the hospital wing. No the bed was too comfy and soft. But if I wasn't in the hospital wing where was I? I tossed in bed a bit more and pulled the blanket closer to my face before I realized there was talking going on around me.

"You sure that we don't need to take her to the hospital wing Moony?" Whose voice was that? And who just put a warm cloth on my forehead.

"Positive, she's just exhausted." The person called Moony stated.

"And you sure these medicines will work that Lily gave us?" A new voice entered into the picture "This looks like blood." They commented.

"Padfoot I know what I'm doing." Moony said a lot closer to me than any of the other voices.

"Do you know what illness she has then?" The one called Padfoot asked eagerly. My eyes slowly peered open at this point.

"Remus?" I asked groggily seeing Remus sitting on the bed staring down at me and fixing my hair around the warm cloth.

"How are you feeling, Kobato?" Remus smiled and grabbed my hand in a gentle manner.

"Just tired, really" I sat up as slowly as I could and looked around. James was sitting on Sirius bed looking extremely worried. Hovering nearby Remus was Sirius looking bothered by something and Peter was just standing off near James with not much of an expression at all.

"I had Lily get your medicine. Do you want to take it?" Remus questioned holding one vial of blood and a vial of potion.

I snorted "No no and no." I shook my head pushing his hands away. I did not want to take anything I was just fine.

"I really think you should." James stood up now and took a seat next to Remus on the bed.

"I feel fine. I'm just tired." I rolled my eyes wanting that to be obvious.

"Then why don't you sleep?" James patted my arm with a warm smile.

"No I'm good." I said reassuringly. "Can we get dinner or did we miss it?"

"We didn't miss it but you're not going. You need to rest." James stated. I rolled my eyes once more feeling annoyed that he was babying me. There wasn't much I could do about it though.

"Why don't you guys go and bring her up food when you are done." Sirius leaned up against the bed post with a smile. "I'll stay here with her."

"What and let you murder her?" James laughed. "Alright mate, be gentle."

"No promises I won't sno-" Sirius started but Remus cut him off.

"Behave, I don't want to come back from dinner to find you two bleeding on the floor dying." Remus clapped his hand on Sirius' shoulder with a chuckle.

"No worries." Sirius grinned and took Remus opened seat on the bed. He gently pulled the warm rag off my forehead and set it down. Smiling he pushed some hair out of my face making me blush "I'll be good. I just want to have a talk with Kobato." He said and turned away from me to face his friends. They all just nodded and headed for the door.

I threw the blankets off and attempted to run to the door "James don't leave me!" I pleaded but Sirius pulled me back down on the bed.

"What you are talking to me now?" James teased and stopped walking. "I'm kidding. You'll be fine with Sirius." He laughed and continued to walk with his friends, leaving me there with my mouth gapping open.

"Oh come on love, you're fine." Sirius laughed. I turned to watch him. He was so relaxed and smug as he laid back on James' bed throwing his arms behind his head and resting lazily.

"Don't call me love." I snapped putting my hands on my hips angrily.

He let out a sigh "Sit down and rest already." He gave me an annoyed look like he really wanted me to rest right now. I sighed as well as he patted the bed for me to sit next to him on the bed. I made a big scene and stomped over to his bed, since he wasn't in it, messed up all the blankets, and snuggled up in it all the while trying not to notice the heavenly smell that was coming from his pillow as I rested my head on it. He let out a bark of a laugh "What you couldn't sit next to me?"

"No I don't want your germs." I teased and hid behind his blanket.

"So you go in my bed. Genius." He laughed and got up to sit on the end of James' bed.

"It's my plan to get you sick." I narrowed my eyes and evilly laughed.

"What are you sick with anyways? Because this vial looks a lot like blood" Sirius commented and grabbed the vial of Triggers blood and held it up in the light.

I didn't respond at first. Instead I stared forward into his eyes then finally when I felt ready I answered. "I'm not ready to talk about it with you."

He looked up at me a bit surprised "But you told Remus."

"I trust him and respect him a lot more than you." I said truthfully while watching his movements. He let out another sigh and then covered his face with his hands. He shook his head a couple of times before he got up and sat down next to me. I didn't feel comfortable being this close to him but I let him anyways.

"I'm really sorry about what happened. I was…I was…"He paused. His face looked full of distress as he searched for the words. Finally he turned away and hid his face in his hands once more before he looked back at me "I was really scared when you landed on the table." He reached forward and grabbed my hand. I tried my hardest not to pull my hand away in protest, but I let him at least to try and let him know I forgave him. "Seeing all that blood come from you was freighting…you seem so unbreakable. And there you were broken."

"Sirius…"I broke his ramble feeling touched.

"I just want to be your friend…but you hate me and I don't understand why." He said with frustration. He got up and shook his hair with his hands and then kicked the bedside table. "Whhhy" he whinned.

"I don't hate you." I laughed saying it frankly.

I watched as his turned quickly to me in disbelieve and his face perked up like a little puppy. "Really?" He asked with so much hope it was almost adorable…god I must be losing my mind.

"I never hated you." I smiled as he took a seat next to me looking relived. "I just hate your pompous egotistic attitude about life."

"Oh…" his face dropped "Do you really think I'm ugly too then? You said that before that I was ugly."

"Of course" I said truthfully but then when I saw his face I changed my mind "You're just not my type. I'm sure you're very good looking otherwise why would all those girls want you?" I don't know why I was inflating his ego, I guess I was just used to him always being so pompous that the side he was showing me right now felt out of place.

"You're right, I am good looking." He puffed his chest out in a cocky sort of manner. "But I need all the girls to think so."

I laughed "You don't have to be the best at everything, Sirius."

"I do though…so tell me what can I do to make myself look better for you?" He leaned in close. He was really curious for some odd reason.

"Hmmm…I'll tell you another time." I let out a yawn. I was feeling tired now. Though I was having a lot of fun with Sirius, I wanted to sleep.

"Promise?" he held up his pinky and I took it with a goofy grin.

"Promise." I laughed and laid my head back down on his pillow.

"And Kobato?" He asked cautiously with a smile.

"Yeah Sirius?" I peeked my eyes open again wondering what he wanted.

"I…I mean…I understand if you don't want too…but" He fidgeted for a second not showing his real confidence that he usually had. I didn't let him struggle anymore.

"Yes." I said not even knowing the answer.

"What?" He asked snapping out of his ramble looking at me confused.

"You heard me, yes" I said with a smirk before turning over to go back to sleep.

"I didn't even get to ask you anything yet…"he said still confused.

"With the way you were rambling, I'll agree to anything because Sirius Black does not ramble. If he wants something he gets it. And if Sirius Black doesn't get what he wants, he uses his charm. End of story."

"This is true" He nodded in agreement. "So you'll still try and be my friend?"

He finally said what he wanted to say. "I already agreed." I laughed.

"Good girl." He ruffled my hair with a big grin on his face.

From there Sirius let me sleep until the other boys brought me up some food. Over all it was a great evening where we all chatted and had a great time. Though are enjoyment didn't last too long. Soon we were back in school with tons of homework and with Qudditch coming up. There wasn't much time for fun. And yes Sirius and I did try to be friends from here on out but we were just too busy and we found we fought more times than not. There was even one nasty occasion were I sent Sirius to the hospital wing with more than a broken arm. This didn't dent our hope that we would stop fighting yet. We kept on trying to be friends more and more, but I found I was getting closer to James and Remus if anything. I found though too that when I was closer with James it really annoyed Lily to no end. So then I would start to push away and not be as close to James…which would cause more fights. I was also starting to see some tension between Lily and Snape. It was getting worse and worse as the days went by. Snape was growing restless like the rest of the Death Eater wannabes and were ready to join the fight with Voldemort. Lily of course hated this side of Snape and found herself getting ridiculed a lot for it. She didn't want to be friend him, but yet she couldn't understand why Snape didn't call her a mudblood but yet he called everyone else one who came from her same background. She was oblivious to his love and he was blind against his flaws.

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It was about a month later after Valentine's day and I was currently fuming over a fight that Sirius and I had started during Transfiguration. It was right before dinner so I was just wondering around the castle aimlessly trying to blow some steam when I stumbled upon a nasty fight Lily and Snape were having.

"Look Sev, I can't do this anymore!" Lily threw her arms up in defeat.

"Lily, no…"Snape protested grabbing her arm gently trying to stop her from walking away. She had already turned around and saw me though.

"Kobato!" Lily pushed Snape off and started running happily towards me before she turned her face back into a nasty scowl. "Tell him his friends are horrid!"

I stood there stunned for a bit and then I exchanged looks between Snape and Lily feeling confused as to why I was getting dragged into this. "What?" I questioned stupidly. I knew what was going on. Lily hated his friends and Snape was oblivious to why.

"I just saw him and his friends hexing a second year because she was a muggleborn!" Lily cried feeling truly upset.

I didn't know what to say to this. I knew his friends did that, I had witnessed a few and tried to stop them, but I didn't think Snape usually participated. I frowned and looked over at Snape to see if this was true. His face was set in stone and the only thing it wore was his usual glum expression.

"Lily…calm down, I'm sure there's a reason." I sighed knowing that there really was no good explanation for that. Lily and I both turned to Snape, who was no looking confused.

"I…I'm sorry. I should have told them to stop." He spluttered out.

"But you didn't Sev! What if that was me? Would you let them?" She spat angrily. I really wanted to leave at this point. This did not concern me at all. Why was I getting dragged into it?

"I…Lily of course not! I lo-" Snape started but didn't get to finish because Lily was too busy being upset and cut him off.

"No save it! I don't believe you." Lily shook her head disapprovingly and stormed off. "Kobato are you coming?" She nearly yelled at me as I stood there still feeling stunned at what just happened.

"What…oh, yeah. Yeah I am." I said still looking deep into Snapes eyes. He though only had eyes for Lily who was staring impatiently at me. I sent an apathetic smile to Snape before grabbing onto Lily's arm to walk with her to dinner.

"Ugh! The nerve of him, I can't believe I am still friends with him." Lily fumed in a way that didn't let me protest. I did agree with her what Snape was doing was wrong, but he was lost and confused. He wasn't sure what he wanted at this point. Even I could tell that. He was under a lot of peer pressure and was just doing what his peers wanted him to do. I feel if he was in a different house things might have turned out different for him, but he wasn't and that's what I think made all the difference in the future.

"Come on Lils, you've been friends with him for so long, give him another chance." I added hopefully more for Snape's sake.

"I know…but Kobato, it was really awful. I saw the whole thing." She sighed and looked over at me. Tears were streaking down her face. She was crying.

"Let's not worry about it and get some dinner." I smiled affectionately and pulled her to the great hall.

We found a spot as far away from everyone else as we could and were soon joined by Raven. She was a lot more helpful with Lily's rage towards Snape then I was. I thought the poor guy deserved another chance, no one else felt that way. They chatted angrily all the while I just watched as more tears glided down Lily's beautiful face.

"Oh god…"I finally spoke up as I saw James and his friends come into the great hall. Surely they would notice us and have a full on questionnaire about what happened.

"What's up Kobato?" Raven asked as I tried to make us less noticeable by diving into my food with full attention.

"Code 2319" I said in a quick whisper our code for when the James and his crew come to bother us. When it was Slytherins it was code 1580. Who thought of these I don't know, but it's been our habit for some time now.

"And they are coming this way…I'm leaving!" Lily hurriedly while getting up and unfortunately for her she didn't get very far because James was already smiling adoringly at her.

"Lily-flower! Where are you go-"He stopped himself noticing her face had tears on it "What happened?" his voice did have some concern in it, but the fact that it was in the Lily voice really upset me…and annoyed me. It wasn't like James at all. I knew he had it in him to be a real gentleman.

"None of your business!" Lily shouted brushing her face of any remaining tears. "Just leave me alone you annoying dirty toe-rag!" She smacked him hard across the face and stormed off leaving James with the biggest looking wounded ego I have witnessed yet.

"Oh god…I'll go get her." Raven sighed. I just nodded. Lily got pissed at James but never that bad too actually hit him. Raven understood this and knew how to handle Lily better than I did when she was like this.

"Yeah that will be best." I said as she was already half way gone and sighed as James, took Lily's open seat, Peter next to him and on my sides Sirius and Remus sat down.

"What was wrong with her?" James now asked looking at me concerned.

I just rolled my eyes "It's not my place to say." I answered truthfully.

"Come on, we are best mates" James smiled hopefully.

"James Potter…" I sighed "No, I said it's not my place just stay out of it." I snapped and got up as well deciding I would rather go to the Slyhterin table now that it's not peaceful here anymore. I looked around for some familiar faces to eat with which took me way longer then I wanted. By the time I started walking over to a sulking Snape I already had Sirius and James on my back. "Can I sit here?" I quickly asked Snape hoping that the boys would just leave me alone if I was at the Slytherin table.

"Don't sit with that slimy git." James protested as I was attempted to sit with Snape.

"Shut up Potter." I spat feeling even more annoyed that they didn't get the hint.

"Kobato…"He gasped that I used his last name.

"What? Can't you take a stupid little hint? Leave us alone!" I shouted feeling angry at them for bothering Lily even more then she already was and for exasperating me for answers.

"Kobato we just asked a question. You don't have to run away." Sirius smiled kindly at me. For some odd reason I listened. I stepped away from the Slytherin table. "Come on and sit with us." He held out a hand for me to take. But I didn't get to grab it like I intended too.

"Not her too…"I heard Snape mutter as I was about to grab Sirius' hand. Mid-way through I stopped feeling bad for what just happened. "Leave her alone you two!" Snape shouted out for everyone to hear this time and pulled out his wand. And before I knew it they were dueling in front of my eyes, all the students and all the teachers.

"NO!" I screamed attempting to stop them with my wand. And before I knew it someone from the Slytherin had pushed me aside and joined the duel. It was now Avery, Snape, Malfoy, and Mulcubier against James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus. I continued to scream and protest in any case trying to cast shielding charms on anyone I could. "Please stop!" I felt my heart breaking I didn't want this fight not now…but I didn't have to protest for very long before teachers were breaking apart the battle that was going on between the students.

Everyone who was involved in the battle got to serve a detention but me. I managed to get away free because I was trying to break it up and the teachers realized that, especially because I couldn't stop crying. Finally McGonagall grew weary of my crying and had Remus escort me to the Gryffindor tower. It was a slow walk there too. Remus didn't say anything because he knew I was upset. That was one thing I liked about him, he always seemed to know what I wanted without me having to say it. I was so grateful of his company that by the time we got to the Gryffindor tower I wanted to hang out with him, but when I saw Lily and Raven huddled by the fire I remembered Lily and thought her need was greater than mine. So I bid Remus fair well and took a seat next to the girls.

Lily saw me approaching first and gladly made room for me but stopped when she noticed my face was wet with tears. "What happened?" She asked as I took a seat next to her.

"I hate boys" Was all I found fit to say.

"I'm guessing the boys didn't leave you alone after I left?" Raven sighed trying to fill in the gaps.

"No they didn't…and they caused a big scene." I leaned onto Raven and smiled up at her "At least they all got detention."

Raven and Lily laughed happily at this "Good" they both said at the same time.

"Snape too." I added as an afterthought. "They all dueled over me…and a bit of you too Lily now that I think about it." I added since they had quizzical looks upon their faces.

"See you are one lucky girl!" Raven laughed clapping me on the back.

"Yeah something like that" I grinned. "But I'm not the one with the boyfriend" I said while poking Raven in the side.

"Things aren't going to well with mine right now…"Raven said heaving a heavy sigh.

"You either?" Lily asked.

"Wait, things aren't going good for you and Robinson?" I raised an eyebrow. As far as I knew they were going great ever since Valentine's day.

"No not really…" Lily made a face before stretching out on the carpet by lying on her stomach to face Raven and I. "He's blaming me for all the accidents and hexes he's been receiving." Lily rolled her eyes feeling upset. In truth it was her fault because I knew James was behind most of them because he was jealous. It wasn't fair to Lily but he wouldn't listen to that. If he couldn't have his 'Lily-flower' no one could.

"That's not fair…" Raven said flat out. "It's not your fault James is a prick…I mean we all know he's behind it."

"I don't think…well okay it probably is that slimy jerk." Lily flipped her hair and glared over to the portrait hole where James, Sirius and Peter had just made their way in. We all turned to watch them as James and Peter headed up to the dorms looking defeated and Sirius made his way over to us. Once we realized he was heading towards us we all quickly turned away and acted like we were still talking.

"What about you? What's wrong with you and your boyfriend Rav?" I asked trying to fill in and make us look innocent.

"Just youth being youth. A little of he-" Raven got cut off by Sirius who finally was standing behind me.

"Kobato? Can you come with me?" He asked in his sweet voice that he used when he wanted favors from the ladies.

"Why?" Lily glared at him with distaste answering for me. I turned to look at Sirius at this point. He was wearing a charming smile and stood lazily with his hands in his pockets.

"I'm upset and I need a good snog." He said bluntly.

"What?" All three of us girls seemed to shout at once.

"It was a joke." He laughed but yet rolled his eyes not seeing how we didn't think he was kidding. "So can we hang? James is being a joy kill." He held a hand for me to take. I didn't grab it, rather I looked at Lily hoping she would protest or even Rave would say no. I didn't want to leave them. It was girl time, why should I let Sirius ruin that.

Ugh…I can't believe him some times. Didn't he know when enough was enough? When I didn't want him there? And seriously…half the time he asked to hang out with me was because he didn't have a girl he could easily snog at hand so he would settle for talking to me instead because he needed some female attention. I picked this up quick over the last month. And I knew currently he didn't have a girl to snog, he could have picked one easily, but when he doesn't feel like searching for that company to fill the hole in his heart from the lack of female love his life has received he would turn to me. I grew weary of it fast. And that's what our recent fights have been about…I will never understand that boy.

After a while of me ranting in my head still no one said anything, which meant Lily and Raven couldn't think of an excuse to let me stay. I had to go.

"Fine" I heaved an angry sight, took his hand, and got up to walk around with him away from prying eyes. I say away from prying eyes because if we were seen in the open rumors would fly and I refused to be the center of rumors that involve him.

"Why are you so tense? Relax punk." He ruffled my hair with a playful smile.

"I'm tense because I don't want to be with you. Lily's upset and I'd rather be with her." I said while narrowing my eyes at Sirius as we made our way to the portrait hole.

"Darling everyone wants to be with m-"He stopped at the harsh look I was giving him. "Okay okay okay…so you don't want to be with me" He laughed at his defeat.

"So can I go now that we have that settled?" I asked irritated as I folded my arms showing my displeasure.

"No, I'm still bored." He grinned and dragged me down the stairs to a secret passage way.

"Sirius!" I whined but he never listened to my whining. He found it rather amusing "Can we go to the kitchens? I didn't get much of a dinner."

"Sure anything for you" he flashed his charming smile with a wink. I ignored it. It was just a habit of his because he is always attempting to impress the ladies. The more attention, the better for him and the less likelihood he was to be lonely. I find that when he isn't feeling lonely (which is hardly ever...no girl has really ever filled that gap for him) he is more tolerable. His smooth seducing comments on the ladies are a lot less, which I find more attractive than his pompous usual self.

"You say that to every girl." I noted letting out a laugh.

"Because every girl is worth it" He commented right back without missing a beat.

"Or worth a good snog" I laughed. I realize now I could stand these comments more if I teased him, it kept me from hexing him more often than not and I found it to be a lot of fun. "Except me…why do you keep me around? I never let you snog me" I questioned while tapping my finger on my lip a habit I do while thinking.

"We're friends. Friends don't snog even if they have never been kissed." He teased right back with a big grin. "I mean we could if you-"

"Save it, I'd snog Peter over you." I said "Wait no…no I'd defiantly pick you. Peter looks like a rat. He might chew my face off." I said changing my mind and skipping down a couple of trick stairs.

Sirius let out a great laugh "He just might…and I have to keep that in mind that you'd pick me over Peter." He grinned.

I threw a nasty glare "Keep dreaming" and I pointed to my lips "See these? They will not touch" than poked his lips "these until Lily has admit her undying love for James." I said than realizing that Lily and James do fall in love at one point, but by then hopefully Sirius wouldn't remember this. I only had to make him fall in love with me, I didn't have to snog him right?

"Deal" He smirked and held out a hand for me to shake. I gladly took it and sealed the promise still wishing in my heart he would forget. "By then I will have snogged every good looking girl in the school, save Lily."

"What so this is all a game to you?" I teased knowing it probably was.

"Not fully." Sirius said right away "I…" He stopped for a moment searching for the right words. "I truly do find interest in them at one point. Sure it may be their looks, but after a while they just get so annoying."

I let out a laugh "That's because the girls only want you since you are Sirius freakn Black." I laughed a bit more "They just want to say they did you."

"I'm that special? I didn't know that." He grinned playfully as we reached the portrait of the fruit bowl. "It's your turn to tickle the pear." His smile faded from playful to devious in a matter of seconds.

"What?" I stared at him. He knew full well I could reach it by myself. "Black, just reach up and touch it" I crossed my arms and gave him a glare.

"I'll help." I didn't get time to respond to him as he was already picking me up and setting me on his shoulder so I could reach for the pear. I was not expecting this at all and I found a scream was already escaping my lips as I was on his shoulders. I felt Sirius let out a laugh of enjoyment as I struggled wanting nothing more to get down. "Calm down and just tickle the pear!" He laughed a bit more making me feel like I was going to fall.

"I don't want to tickle the pear!" I cried in protest, but I knew the sooner I did it the sooner he would let me down.

"Oh come on, just one little tickle" Sirius asked shifting me a bit so my weight was a little bit easier to manage.

Finally I reached forward thinking how awkward our conversation must have sounded if anyone was just listening and not watching us. The thought made me laugh as I attempted to reach for the pear. But I think Sirius had the same thoughts as me because soon I found we were both on the ground haven fallen. I was sitting right on top of him full out laughing as was he. I didn't bother moving since tears were now streaking down my eyes from laughing so hard. Sirius was laughing just as hard.

We didn't stop laughing until we heard a loud scream fill our ears from somewhere behind us. Sirius quickly threw me off him and I didn't protest the way I landed made it look like the two of us were doing something very suspicious. Slowly I looked over at where Sirius was staring. It was one of the Basekerville twins staring right at us looking horrified. I figured it wasn't Lu since Lu was in Slyhterin, so it had to have been Autumn who was in Hufflepuff. She stared right at us looking dumbfounded before running off crying.

Sirius and I didn't stay anything at first. We just sat there staring where the girl was then at each other and back to where the girl was for a good five minutes before we started spluttering words.

"You-" We both started.

"What…"He said scratching his head in confusion.

"She…" I muttered shaking my head.

"No…" his eyes widened.

"Was that?" I asked an improper sentence.

"I think…" He started then we both finally stopped and started laughing. "The whole schools going to think we did the deed." Sirius finally said through his laughs.

"Oh my goodness! Wait wait wait!" I quickly said "Was that Lu or Autumn. I assumed it was Autumn, but it matters who she is." I said letting the fear fill me.

"Why would it matter? I thought it was Lu." Sirius stopped laughing looking dumbfounded.

"I thought it was Autumn." My eyes widened. "We have to find her! If it was Lu the Slyhterin's will know first." I quickly stood up and panicked trying to figure out which way she went from here.

"Why does it matter?" He repeated again now standing up next to me.

"Slytherin's? They will hate me then if they think I did the deed with you!" I nearly shouted out to him.

"Problem? They are slimy gits. Losing them as friends shouldn't matter to you." He said seriously and with a bit of anger too.

"Oh…yeah I suppose your right." I sighed "It was just nice not having them as enemies." I laughed truthfully.

"You can defend yourself, I would know." Sirius clapped a hand on my shoulder "Let's get out of here before she brings back friends." And with that he led me back up to the Gryffindor tower.

"The damage is done…"I stated for no reason. We already knew how fast the rumors could spread and one like this… well I'd give it till right before lunch for the whole school to know.

"We could just play it up, act like we are together." He smirked still guiding me up to the tower.

"And lie?" I raised an eyebrow and watched as he nodded "Sirius Black, no. I do not lie." I said disapprovingly.

"Oh you are such a kill joy." He sighed and finally let go of my back. "And you do too lie, you're a damn good one too."

"We just had enough excitement for one night." I said ignoring his comment and feeling exhausted even if all we did was walk to the kitchens. "Ugh…and I have to finish my Potions paper." I groaned.

"I finished mine so I'll help you." It was the first time he had ever offered to help me. To be honest I was a little shocked by his words. He must have noticed it "What? You don't think I'm capable of being nice?" He chuckled.

"Don't you have someone to snog?" I teased right back.

"Not anymore…once that rumor gets out, I'll be solo for a while and you'll be getting hexed left and right." He let out a defeated sigh and then laughed at the thought of me being hexed by someone other than him.

"I don't find it funny. You know how nasty those fangirls are?" I raised an eyebrow feeling annoyed.

"Not really, I just know how annoying they are." He answered straightforwardly with a smile. "Oh well, it's good to be wanted." He added with a cocky attitude.

"Yes well…" I didn't have a response to him. Usually I would have hexed him for something like that, but there was no point in doing that now.

Sirius and I made it up to the common room in no time. And together he and I finished my Potion essay with relative ease somewhere around 12 at night. By then I was already exhausted and ready for bed. So gladly I went to bed forgetting all the events that had taken place earlier. So it was a bit of shock when Raven, Lily and I made our way to the great hall to find that almost all the Slyhterins and some Ravenclaws were pointing at me with amazed looks upon their faces. Oh god, it was Lu and not Autumn.

"What's going on?" Raven finally asked as we sat down close the teachers trying to escape the stares and whispers. "Seriously…it's one of us three and I didn't do anything."

"I don't think I did…" Lily looked around wondering what was going on as well.

"I wish I could say that…" I guiltily said still trying to hide my face in my morning bagel.

"What happened?" both Lily and Raven asked at the same time.

"Not what everyone seems to think happened." I lowered myself into my seat even more attempting to ignore the dirty stares the fangirls were giving me as more and more girls started to gossip and spread the word of what so called happened with Sirius and I last night.

"Well?" Raven poked me curiously but cautiously at the same time. She knew I wasn't too thrilled with what was going on right now.

"I am sure right about now everyone is saying the same thing to each other" I answered wearily before carrying on. "After Sirius and I left the common room we headed for the kitchens since I didn't get to really eat dinner a-" I was cut off by none other than Sirius himself.

"Why aren't you sitting with me?" He questioned with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. "I mean we are dating after all." He smirked.

Lily and Raven looked between the two of us feeling confused. I ignored them and answered feeling aggravated with Sirius "We are not blowing this out anymore." I said firmly throwing my hands over my face in an effort to hide.

"I was only kidding…but it does look like it was Lu." He sighed and furrowed his brows. "I'm sorry it's all my fault the Slytherin's are looking ready to kill you."

"I can fix that, I can't fix the fangirls" I looked over at the Slytherins and sure enough they looked ready to murder me. That would be easy. The girls who looked more than ready to murder me, not so much…

"So why not just sit with me then?" He asked thoroughly meaning it.

"No." I said flat out. "I'm not making this worse for myself."

"Oh come on! We are friends." He pouted.

I got up from my seat feeling annoyed with his enjoyment of this whole situation. "Look you" I started but Sirius quickly grabbed my wrist and lead me down to where the boys where. I sent a couple of looks to Raven and Lily trying to say I'm sorry and I didn't want this, but I think they were too confused to get the message.

"Sirius no!" I shouted throwing his arm off. He stopped walking at once and tossed me a look that told me he thought it would be best if I stopped this behavior now. I didn't want to though. There was no reason for us to carry on what is already a lie. "Touch me once more and I will rip your hands off." I gritted my teeth and grabbed my wand to point it at his chest.

"Kobato, it will work itself out. Just lighten up would you?" He asked being as patient with me as he could. I didn't say anything. I just stared forward trying to ignore the whispers that were surrounding us and the stares we were getting for what seemed to be a lovers quarrel.

"Easy for you to say…I'd just be another one to chalk up on the list, IF this was true." I snapped while crossing my arms and finally pulling my wand away from his chest.

"But you never will be." He said reassuringly. His words took me by surprise it was not what I was expecting.

"What…" I whispered gapping openly at Sirius. He didn't say anything. He just stood there with a warm smile on his face staring right at me. And that's when I knew that I could fulfill this mission one way or another. Right there with that one little smile. A glimmer of hope that he wasn't as bad as I bad him out to be.

**A/N: A bit of character development. I hope you guys liked it, I thought it was rather fun, but it felt really short even though it was about the same size as all my other chapters. Ahhh pretty soon it's going to be the OWLs for them :)**


	12. Chapter 12: Go home

**Chapter 12: I wanna get off and go home again.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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I did not have a good day after breakfast. I had girls after girls come after me asking what was up or just hexing the heck out of me. So by the end of Charms, between the hexing and the questioning, I was so edgy. It had truly been a long day. I don't really blame Sirius for it, no, this was all just a big understanding blown way out of proportion.

Although Sirius wasn't getting any grief for it, this was upsetting me even more. He was actually in a great mood seeing as him and James spent all of Charms taunting poor Melody Moran of Hufflepuff by moving the book we were supposed to make smaller slowly slide of her desk. It didn't help my mood, one because Sirius was happy, and two because Lily kept tutting and making disapproving comments about James, but not really do anything other than complain. So when class was finally released and we could finally go to dinner, I was ready to scarf it down.

"God could those boys being anymore obnoxious!" Lily cried once we were out of their earshot, which didn't take long, we were eager to get up to the dorm and away from the nasty rumors and hexes.

"It's just been an awful day." I shook my head wanting nothing more than to be up in my bed sleeping.

"Oh come on now girls! It's been full-" Raven started but stopped with the glares Lily and I were shooting her. "Right…ummm. I have Qudditch practice tonight, so I'll meet with you guys in the dorm much later."

"That's right, don't worry I'm pretty sure we won't be doing anything." I laughed and looked over at Lily who was nodding in agreement.

"I'm not even in the mood for homework." Lily said exasperated.

Both Raven and I gasped before we all fell into giggles.

"Good thing there's always a spot for me in the hospital wing. You better go take my spot Lils" I laughed earning me a gentle slap from her. "Kidd-" I didn't get to finish my statement. At that moment my backpack split open dumping quills, ink, parchment, and all my books that where in it all over the floor. "Oh fantastic" I sighed angrily and slumped down on the floor.

"You want help?" Lily asked sympathicly.

"No, go ahead." I shook my head urging them to go "It's probably more fangirls. I didn't have enough in here to make it spilt." I muttered just for Lily and Raven to hear. They nodded and went on ahead knowing I was right. I didn't bother looking around, but I could tell from distant giggling it was fangirls who did this. Fantastic.

Slowly I cleaned up my mess only using my wand to syphon up the spilled ink. I was obviously in no hurry for dinner anymore. I'm pretty sure I lost my appetite altogether.

"Nightray!" I heard someone shout at me while I was just about to finish up. Great. Just ignore it maybe they will go away. "Nightray!" They called again much closer. I had no clue who it was but they sounded annoyed. All I knew was it was a boy's voice and I didn't care who it was, I was not in the mood to answer their questions about Sirius and I.

"Look I did not snog Sirius Black nor shag him nor touch him anyway shape or form that would give him any satisfaction." I spat angrily as the person stood before me. I didn't bother looking up who it was as I finished packing away my stuff and stood up.

"I…what? That's not what I wanted to talk about." I finally looked up to see a pair of beautiful onyx eyes staring back at me. Severus Snape.

"Sev!" I cried and for the first time calling him something other than Snape. I was thrilled someone who wasn't here to torture me. Snape knew me better than to think I would do Black or even touch Black. I was so thrilled I threw my arms around him and hugged him tightly, feeling ready to cry from the long drama filled day.

"Kob-ato?" He questioned cautiously. When I pulled away from the hug he looked at me with a bit of confusion in his eyes but didn't press farther. He knew I had a long day.

"What do you need Sev?" I blushed realizing I just hugged him in front of a ton of people.

"Is…is" He struggled with his words for a moment. He couldn't look me in the eyes as he attempted to get them out. "Is...Lily still mad at me?" He questioned with hope filling his whole face.

"I honestly think she forgot with all the excitement today." I patted his arm reassuringly. "But Sev, you have to be careful. She can't keep forgiving you, you know."

His face fell, he knew I was right. "But what else am I supposed to do?" He sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "I'm just…I…You know what everyone else is like. And it's…it's just who I am!" He nearly shouted at me.

"No Sev, it's not who you are. Are you really going to go onto kill people like Lily?" I raised an eyebrow trying to question him as sweetly as I could, even if I already knew the answers.

"I..."He didn't answer. He glared at me for a moment before running off. Leaving me stunned at what just happened. I didn't move from that spot for a while. I just stood there staring where Sev was. I didn't want to go to dinner anymore. But I couldn't just not show up without tell them I wasn't going to eat.

"Kobato? What was that all about?" I was still standing there when James appeared were Sev was just standing, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"I…nothing. Just Sev being…being Sev." I said feeling like I wanted to cry. I stood there for a moment while James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius all looked at me.

"Oookay." James raised an eyebrow still feeling a bit confused.

I rubbed my eyes a bit trying to push back the tears that were tempting to form. "Don't worry about it." I smiled reassuringly.

"You going to be okay?" Remus walked forward a bit and pulled my backpack from me just as I was switching it to my other shoulder. It was getting heavy and I was getting tired.

"Thanks…and yeah I'm just…"I paused and took a deep breath "It's been a long day."

"Need anything from us?" Sirius stepped forward now looking hopeful.

I thought for a moment. "Actually, can you tell Lily and Raven I'm not going to dinner? Maybe have them bring me up some food. It's been a long day." I sighed looking hopefully to James. James' face immediately light up.

Then James threw his arms around me and held me tightly for a moment "Of course we can!" He said happily as he pulled away, then quickly he ran off to the great hall practically prancing.

"Christmas just came early. He has an excuse to talk to Lily." Sirius laughed.

"I'll follow before he does something stupid." Remus laughed as well and shaking his head to his motherly duties he had to perform for James. "Come on Peter." Remus motion to Peter and they both started walking off to the great hall before Remus realized he still had my bag "I'll just take this up for you Kobato."

"Thanks!" I smiled warmly and waved, feeling relived. For a moment or two I forget Sirius was still here standing next to me. I didn't realize he was still there until he finally said something.

"Want an escort to the common room?" He turned to me with a friendly smile.

"Oh" I said right away forgetting he was there. "I don't want to trouble you. Why don't you get dinner?" Truth was I didn't want him there. If anyone else saw me with him I felt things would just get worse for me and I didn't want that.

"I can always go to the kitchen later" He winked at me then put an arm on my shoulder and started steering me to the Gryffindor tower. "Besides you look exhausted and I don't want you to die on your way up."

"Hahaha very funny" I glared at him and tried to shake his arm off my shoulder, but he wouldn't have any of that "I won't anyways. I have so much more hexing to do to you." I teased.

He laughed "You think so?" He looked at me in disbelief "You haven't hit me with a hex once!" He puffed out his chest with confidence.

"Shut up you…I…I know where you sleep!" I spluttered out with a defensive glare.

He faked looking shocked "Is that a threat?" he asked throwing a gasp in for good measure.

"Yes actually it is. Problem?" I asked feeling a lot better about today seeing as how much fun we were having.

"I think I'm going to have to report you actually. I feel very scared for my welfare." He nodded while trying to suppress a laugh.

"I somehow don't believe you." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously at him "I think you don't believe I am capable of harming you." I said well pulling his arm off and stomping a little bit ahead of him.

He just laughed at me then walked forward and put his arm back on me. "Kobato, you could hurt a boggart." He ruffled my hair.

"Offended" I said flat out before throwing his arm off of me in one quick motion I pulled my Vampire gun from my garter belt and aimed it right for his head. "I'm a novice Vampire hunter. Remember?"

He didn't flinch. He already knew this would only harm Vampires and not humans. Rather he just laughed "What a show off." He laughed and put his hands in his pockets as he casually walked on by, leaving me alone for a couple of seconds before I ran to catch up with him.

"You're one to talk." I sneered as we walked a bit more before making it through the portrait hole.

Sirius and I gratefully climbed in and took a seat right in front of the fireplace on the floor. It was still a little cold out for being March but it was still nice to sit by the warm glow of the fire. And it was great to be away from everyone else since everyone was at dinner we had the whole common room to ourselves. I didn't mind his company right now either. He was being overall rather pleasant.

I watched him as he stretched out and lay on his back with a big smile. He was stretching out like a little puppy, it was slightly adorable. He knew I was watching him closely but it didn't seem to bother him. I broke my gaze though noticing that he seemed happy by me watching him and that made me blush for some unknown reason. He ignored it, or just didn't notice it.

"What am I going to do tonight?" He yawned and turned over to me.

"How should I know?" I snorted and took the chance to lie down on my stomach next to him so our faces were closer.

He sighed as if it was obvious "Well because you decided to shag me I have no girls to snog." He smirked "You know Thursday nights are my big nights for that. You want to fill in?"

I laughed in disbelief "No. I'm pretty sure Victoria and her groupies are ready and willing" I teased.

"They are below my standards. I'm not that desperate." He impishly glared at me "I'll just settle to be with the boys tonight I suppose."

"Good I don't want to have to deal with you all day." I sighed and rolled over on my back.

"What? Am I really that bad?" He asked genuinely being offended.

"You really want me to answer that?" I laughed and he choice not say anything.

From there we just laid there waiting for our friends to get back. Somewhere along the line I fell asleep, I don't know if Sirius did or not, but I didn't care. All I knew was I was waking up to an angry Lily shouting at me for letting Potter get her so I could cozy up with Black, as she put it. She threw an even bigger fit because I was with Black. She said if I was serious about getting rid of these rumors I would not be hanging out with him.

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It turns out I didn't even need to squash the rumors, sure I endured one hell of a weekend in which I ended up in the hospital wing, but come Monday Sirius had a new lady and everyone knew it. Her name was Keira Gardner and she was the best looking Ravenclaw, in almost anyone's mind even if she was a half-bood. She was a seventh year and boy did the word spread quickly. Apparently the story goes that Sirius was walking to our afternoon class of Transfiguration with the usual and Keira accidently bumped into Sirius. Sirius being the gentlemen he was helped her up. He couldn't help but to notice how beautiful she was and asked her out on the spot in front of a ton of students who were in the hallway. I wasn't there to see it, I was still in the hospital wing, but from what I hear it was soooo romantic. Yeah right.

And soon after they started dating I only saw Sirius in class. I didn't mind at all. He was mainly with his friends and Keira. And next thing we knew the two of them had been dating over a month. Which put the rest of us on edge BUT James, Sirius, and Remus, they didn't seem to care that the OWLs were approaching fast or so it seemed to me. I think it really hit all of us on one of the last Tuesday nights of April.

"What's everyone gather around for?" I asked trying to figure out why people were gathering around the usually dead bulletin board. "I can't see over them." I tried standing on my tippy toes but it didn't work.

"It's not just you this time." Raven patted my back making sure I didn't let it get to me.

"Well by the looks of it, it's all 5th years." Lily commented making note of who was all standing at the bulletin board by the great hall.

"Oh yeah, look at that." Raven nodded. "I'm sure we will find out soon enough. Come on let's just get breakfast."

"Good thinking, I'm not ready for another trip to the hospital wing." I commented and headed into the great hall picking our usual seats.

"You're not that small, besides I'm pretty sure you grew an inch this year." Raven said encouragingly.

"That's impossible" I said knowing it was. Unless I became a Vampire there was no way I'd grow an inch. I was stuck at the tiny height I was.

"I think she's right." Lily said while staring at me attempting to measure me with her eyes.

"I'll let you both think that." I laughed at both of them.

"Well fine, you can sit here with your glass of pumpkin juice half empty." Raven glared hating how much of a kill joy I was some times.

"I drink apple juice in the morning silly." I said truthfully knowing I was pushing her buttons.

"Shush" Raven responded while repressing a smile.

I wanted to retort but Lily started speaking first "Code 2319" she said hastily as she ate some more of her toast. They hadn't visited us in a while, I wonder what was up. Curiously we all semi-watched as they approached us and took their usual seats around us. James was always next to Lily. Next to me was always Sirius, and next to Raven was always Remus or Peter. Today next to Raven was Peter, leaving Remus the other side of Lily.

"Lily-flower! You look beautiful this morning as always." James winked over at Lily with his most charming smile.

"Potter, you are annoying this morning as always." Lily retorted with her most deadly glare.

"Now Lily, you don't have to be so rude. I'm here to visit you." James smiled warmly at her. Lily didn't look thrilled.

"James, just get to the point before someone loses an eye." I quickly commented noticing how violently Lily was stabbing her eggs now that she abandoned her toast.

James didn't answer however. Remus was always so keen on picking up when he needed to change the subject. He never wanted any of us to fight. "Did you guys see the bulletin board?" Remus smiled warmly, his voice alone seemed to diminish Lily's anger.

"I'm too short to see it." I commented with a laugh.

"I would have never of known if you hadn't told me." Sirius teased.

"Shu-" I started but was cut off.

"What was it about anyways?" Raven asked turned to Remus with curiosity.

"We all have to have meetings with McGonagall to discuss our future." Remus answered politely "For our future jobs and all."

"What! Isn't it a little early for that?" Lily's eyes widened as she dropped her fork.

"It's always in 5th year, love." James smiled over at her clearly she didn't like the smile he threw her. She grabbed out her wand and pointed at him proving my point that she didn't like it one bit.

"I'm not your love, _Potter_." She snapped pushing her wand closer to his face.

"But Lily-flower…"He pleaded in the whiniest voice I have heard come from him yet.

"Don't you Lily-flower me you filthy little excuse for a male!" Lily shouted then cast one of the best bat-boogey hexes I have seen in ages before she stalked out of the great hall, leaving us all stunned at what to do with James. I sat there blinking for a bit before Raven and Sirius started bursting out laughing. I found their laugh was very contagious and we all joined in, even James who had massive wings and bat filling his face.

Finally after a good laugh Raven thought it was fit to take her Quidditch mate up to the hospital wing, leaving me with Peter, Remus and Sirius. I didn't mind being with them that much, I just would have rather of finished up my breakfast without them to say the least. And soon the silence that filled the table was starting to get thick and irritating, since none of us seemed the need to talk. Finally Remus turned to Peter and started a conversation.

"Do you have any ideas what you want to do Peter?" Remus asked kindly seeming interested in their quiet friend. In all the times I've hung out with the boys, I've never actually heard Peter talk very much. He seemed to keep to himself and just follow these boys along feeding off of their energy so to speak. Honestly I was a little shocked to hear Peter respond to Remus question.

"I'm not sure" He piped up in a squeaky little voice "There's not much I can do…I would assume." He said glumly.

I smiled sincerely at him "There's always a desk job at the ministry. I mean it's not as exciting as an Aurora or anything like that…but you can always work your way up." He didn't seem too enthralled with my answer so I carried on "I personally think you'd make a great department head! You like Quiddich don't you?" I question trying to keep him interested and a small smile on his face at the least.

"Well yeah…" He mumbled.

"She's right, you'd make a great head of the Games and Sports. Don't you agree Sirius?" Remus added then turned to Sirius who was sitting there not paying attention to us while he stirred his coffee.

"What…oh" Sirius looked up for a moment and faked a smile "Of course, Kobato has a knack for knowing these things." He lied through his teeth, but Peter bought it.

He sat up quickly with the biggest smile I have ever seen on his lips "I'm going to quickly go owl my mom and see what she thinks!" He clapped happily and ran off as fast as his chubby little self could.

Once he was out of ear shot Remus turned to me "That was really sweet of you."

I raised an eyebrow "You think so? I thought I went a little overboard." I answered now feeling a bit bad, I might have gotten the little guys hopes to high.

"It probably was." Sirius shook his head still looking bored. "What do you want to be anyways?" He perked up a little interested at looked at me.

"Oh me? Well you know…" I blushed shyly and looked down at my watch hoping it was time to head to classes for the day.

"Go on." Sirius asked curiously as he edged a bit closer to me. I didn't answer. I looked away and finished my apple juice. From there I stood up and packed up my bag, making sure I had everything, and I started walking off. "Ko-" Sirius started but was cut off.

"There you are, lovey love!" Keira grabbed Sirius tightly around the waist and threw a quick kiss on his cheek.

"And there you are beautiful." Sirius smiled and returned the kiss. I just rolled my eyes and continued walking while the love birds did their thing.

I didn't expect Remus to follow me, but he did. "I could only dream of at least getting a desk job at the ministry." Remus sighed as we walked together towards Herbology.

"Oh Remus, I'm sure you could. You are so smart an-" He cut me off.

"And also a werewolf" He said in a low tone so only I could hear. "What about you though? You have a better outlook then I do." He smiled hopefully.

"In Vampire society yes" I let out a sigh, yes it was better then what Remus' future would be like but it wasn't what I wanted. "I'll probably become a certified Vampire Hunter." I said proudly.

"Can you do that? I mean will it be safe for you?" He asked looking worried knowing how much risk I was at to be a Mutant Vampire.

I let a weary smile escape onto my lips "It won't be safe at all." I answered truthfully.

"Then what?" He questioned observing me with troubled eyes. I didn't answer. I already knew that in order to fulfill my dream I would have to be a Vampire myself. I wasn't ready to admit that to anyone else though. Luckily though Remus didn't press forward, he knew me well enough to know not to press on with these sorts of matters. Because of this the rest of the walk was silent to Herbology and when we got there we went our separate ways. I went by Lily who was sitting there clicking her tongue, a habit she did when she was annoyed, and Remus sat at his usual spot all by himself waiting for his mates to come back.

"What happened to Raven?" Lily asked noticing it was just me.

"She took James to the hospital wing." I answered truthfully hoping that bringing up James wouldn't open any anger she had just calmed down.

"Serves him right, but Raven shouldn't have gone with him." She said with aggravation in every single word she said. Her comment made me let out a sigh she didn't have to be so mean about it. "Sorry…I'm being unreasonable again. It only happens with Potter you know." She shook her head feeling ashamed.

"I know Lily-flower" I attempted to say in the Lily voice. It wasn't as good as James. It just made Lily laugh.

"Oh James!" She laughed and threw herself at me "How have I ever lived without you!" She teased acting like she was in love with me.

"Well you see Lily-flower" I couldn't stop laughing by now, neither could Lily. We both had tears coming from our eyes and were sad to see class was starting.

And what a dull class it was. We were only re-potting Tartaliga Moon Roses, which were used in wolf bane potion. It was a dirty class, but it allowed for a lot of talking, thus all around people were discussing what jobs they should look into and what not. It was very nerve raking and something I found annoying. I did not want to discuss my future. Luckily Lily didn't really say much about hers either, she was still busy fuming a bit over James, who never made it to class. Half way through Raven finally made it and was in a decently good mood for some boy bashing, seeing as just a couple of days ago her and her boyfriend broke up, so she was ready to rage about anything. And finally class was over.

"You know, we need to get you a boy Kobato." Lily smiled as she finished packing up her bag.

"I don't need one." I returned her smile "Besides who would want me? They'd never see me! I'd be in the hospital wing." I laughed.

"You haven't been in there for a while." Raven commented as we all started to walk.

"That's because Sirius hasn't been hexing me left and right." I said letting out a laugh.

"Did I just hear my name?" Sirius questioned popping up with Remus and Peter, James still up in the hospital wing for what reason I don't know.

"Not at all." I lied with a playful smirk.

"Really you didn't." Raven added to my lie with a big grin. "We were just saying how Kobato needs a boyfriend since she's never actually had one."

I noticed Sirius was about to say something but Remus, who knew nothing good would come of it, cut him off "If Kobato's happy without one I don't see why she needs one." Remus nodded with a smile.

"Thank you!" I smiled happily at Remus for agreeing with me. I was here in this time period for one reason and that was for Sirius, to save him. Not to date everyone possible.

"Don't you get lonely?" Sirius asked with a confused look on his face. I didn't answer him at first. I just stared at him for a moment before I grabbed Lily and Raven by the arm and started walking away.

When I felt we were far enough I away I called over my shoulder "I have wonderful friends, I don't do lonely!"

The rest of the day seemed to drag on slowly until it was finally evening. Though us being in the common room wasn't much better. There were fliers everywhere helping us decide what we wanted to do. They all had different info and I was getting more upset by the moment. Going through all this stuff made me miss Al and Rose. And to be honest I was starting to miss Trigger as well. I was doing fine up until we found out when we had our meetings. We found that out Friday morning. Mine wasn't until next week Wednesday, but I still wasn't ready for it. It came as a surprise for me. I didn't realize I'd be growing up here. I guess it didn't click in my head that I wouldn't share these experiences with Rose and Al…and for some reason that broke my heart. I thought I'd always grow up with them and always be with them. And now I'm years away from them and growing up without them and it scared me. A lot.

So when I saw the information about my meeting during breakfast that Friday morning, I ran. I ignored Lily and Raven calling out for me and I just ran. I didn't even know where I was going. I just kept moving my feet. When my legs finally stopped moving I realized where I was. It was the owlery, where I first met Al. He was sending a letter to his dad and I was sending one to my parents. We both felt lonely without our parents and we came together that way.

_I was struggling not to let the tears drip down my face. I had never been away from home this long. And then crash! Just as I was about to enter the Owlery I bumped into someone, knocking us both over._

"_Oh I'm sorry." The boy sniffled. I looked up to see a handsome boy that had to have been my age with an adorable face staring back at me. _

"_It's okay…" I smiled as warmly as I could while wiping away my tears._

"_Sending a letter?" He asked a bit stupidly seeing as I had one in my hand._

"_Yeah, you?" I asked pointlessly seeing as we were in the Owlery._

"_To my dad, yeah." He looked away shyly. _

"_Me too!" I said excitedly. "I'm Kobato Nightray, by the way." I smiled extending a welcoming hand to him._

"_Albus Potter." He took my hand willingly. _

I felt tears run down my face even more now as I remembered the moment Al and I first met. And soon those light tears turned into loud sobs as I cried and cried. Slowly I felt my body sink down to the ground as owls hooted gleefully around me in their sleep. I couldn't be bothered though as I sat there absorbed in my tears. I didn't even hear it when footsteps where approaching me until there was a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"Are you okay, Kobato?" I looked up to see Sirius standing above me. I sniffled and wiped my nose with my sleeve not caring if I looked like a mess.

"What…oh yeah…Just you know." I sighed trying not to give too much away.

He took a seat next to me "You don't have to pretend to be so tough. We're friends remember, doll?" He patted my head with a smile.

"Not when I have an image to keep up around you." I smirked.


	13. Chapter 13: Joy by Sorrow

**Chapter 13: You taught me joy by sorrow**

**A/N: Can I just skip ahead to when there's love confessions? Oh I wish…I need to do the character development though! This is important stuff here. I have such good ideas for later chapters. I have till 7****th**** year and this close to the end of 5****th**** .**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

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"What do you mean?" Sirius eyed me curiously as I stood up to head for the door.

I turned back around looking at him with a weary smile "Aren't you supposed to be with your girlfriend?" I questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"Oh" He paused for a moment. "Things aren't going so well with her, you see." He sighed and looked around in a shifty manner. I felt pity swell up in me as this was news to me.

I tried my hardest to keep a cool composure, like one he always had around me. "Non-sense, you two seem so happy. What could be wrong?" I expressed my true thoughts without holding back.

"Truth is we were okay, until last night." He sighed and got up to lean on the door frame so he could be closer to me. I watched his motions closely. He seemed heavy and bogged down with thoughts. I usually didn't get to see him this way, no let me rephrase that, no one gets to see him this way. The fact that he was actually showing me this side of him proved to me that he trusted me a lot. I was going to try my hardest not to upset him. But sometimes he felt like such a child I could care less. That and it takes a lot to wound this kid's ego.

"Care to talk about it?" I questioned as sweetly as I could while I leaned across from him.

"Not much to say." He didn't look at me when he said it. Rather his eyes were busy focusing on his feet as he rocked back and forth bumping his back on the frame. His voice was distant but yet remained composed. "She said she loved me and I couldn't tell a lie. I walked away." Sirius looked at me as he finally had stopped rocking. I let my mouth hang open for a moment while I thought about it. I guess to me it didn't seem like a big deal. Maybe because people say they love each other every day. It's a common human emotion.

And before I knew it, I was laughing. I couldn't help myself as I let the laughs flow from my smirking lips. I attempted to stop feeling insensitive before I finally spoke. "Sorry Sirius…just" He didn't let me finish. I could tell he was upset at me.

"Why do girls always have to bring love into it?" He asked angrily with a dominant glare aimed right into my blue eyes. I let our eyes lock for a bit so he could realize I didn't mean him harm. Finally when I thought he was ready, I let a smile play from my lips to my eyes.

"When we are born we only know how to need and want. It's over time that we _grow_ and _learn_ to love and to _be_ loved." I said trying to hide my amusement. He may be the social butterfly of a school…the most wanted man of all of Hogwarts…the most charming…most playful, but he was certainly a novice with true human emotions. He knew how to swoon, let his charm win him a snog, and friend almost anyone but he couldn't grasp love.

"Loving shouldn't make a difference" He spat finally truly losing his temper "I don't need love!" He yelled loudly at me, shaking my whole body and leaving me stunned. He looked in my eyes one last time before his anger flared even more and he ran off leaving me with just my thoughts.

I wanted to cry. I had a lot ahead of me. Sirius' parents ruined him. He no longer believed in love, which wasn't hard to figure out why. At one point in his life he stopped believing that his parents were right and his parents stopped loving him. That's when he grew for attention and grew to be a pompous sex-craving boy. The one thing he wanted was the one thing he was afraid of.

I let a couple of sighs out before I lightly banged my head on the wall. Sirius Black, I liked you better as my enemy. But learning about you was draining.

Over the next couple of days I was really feeling the stress of OWLs. I couldn't believe it. Lily was with Snape most of the time studying and Raven was with Bri and Kathleen. I found that I couldn't study with them. Not because I didn't want too, I was just getting to overwhelmed that I felt like any cough would upset them. I was growing sicker and sicker with each passing day and next thing I knew I was waiting for Remus to finish up with his meeting with McGonagall so I could head in and talk about my future.

I was very fidgety waiting. It didn't help that I had to keep my handkerchief out to let the blood drip into. I was not doing well by this point and to be honest I was hoping that I'd make it through the OWL's in perfect health that was less likely to happen then Lily accepting Potter's feelings by the end of them. I wasn't too hopeful if you couldn't tell.

"Miss Nightray?" I peeked up from my handkerchief which I was staring into finding McGonagall standing nearby and Remus walking away with a smile on his face, meant for me. I returned his smile and got up to follow McGonagall in her office.

Last time I was here it was much less pleasant. I wasn't feeling good at that time either, but at least I didn't have Sirius on my back. He was acting weird to me ever since that talk in the Owlery.

I happily, well as happily as I could, took a seat across from McGonagall who was smiling in an un-McGonagall manner.

"Please help yourself to some biscuits Miss Nightray." She gestured over to the food she had scattered on her desk. I wasn't the bit interested in it. I felt the need to get this over with.

"No thank you Professor." I returned her warm smile and went back to waiting patiently for her to begin.

"First off I would like to say for a transfer student from America you've done really well." She held some papers and shifted through them looking at my grades, I on the other hand blushed. "I was worried too because you did spend a lot of the time in the hospital wing. I'm also glad you have been doing so well lately."

"Thank you." I said, not sure what to saw as these slew of complements hit me one by one. And I didn't want to correct her, I was doing well. Now I'm going downhill. So I restrained myself for her shake from coughing anymore.

"With your grades I'm sure you would make a great ministry official. I can think of several desk jobs you would be qualified to do." I knew she meant while because she still was wearing that rare smile, but I couldn't disagree more.

"Oh no, I don't want a desk job." I looked down shyly at my feet before I carried on. I took my time though despite her watching me. "I wish to follow in my parents footsteps and be a Vampire Hunter." I said after a big gasp of air.

McGonagall let out a weary sigh "I figured as much. Miss Nightray, I do not know your health details but would that be wise?" she questioned attempting to meet my eye. I locked onto her eyes right away letting her feel the confidence I had within me.

"I assure you I can handle it." I smiled proudly, still feeling a bit annoyed. "Vampire Reflex isn't going to stop me from living my dream." I angrily said before I caught myself. It took a moment to realize what I said. When I saw McGonagall's shocked face fall into pity I knew I said the wrong thing. I couldn't take it back now.

"Well, if that's the case…shouldn't you really consider a desk job?" She asked knowing how risky it was to be around Vampires when you had Vampire Reflex.

"I won't. My mind is made up." I said looking her firmly in the eyes.

She smiled at my determination then looked at my class list and grades once more. "Hogwarts does not have many students who choose this career. To be honest I've never had one come through in my career here." She paused for a moment. I knew there weren't many pamphlets on it since it's usually combined with the Auror office over in England. "I would recommend you stick with Transfiguration, Potions, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms, and Herbology."

"That's what I was hoping for." I smiled all the while hoping I could keep my health just high enough to last a little longer.

"Meaning if you wish you could cease Astronomy, History of Magic, and Divination." She said looking at me with a look that told me I should just agree with her.

"Yes, Professor" I agreed feeling I didn't need them anyways.

"Well if that's everything you may go." She smiled warmly and I quickly got up and heading out to see James patiently waiting outside the door. I gave him a smile similar to the one Remus gave me and walked on for a much needed nap in the dorms. Of course I didn't get very far. I was approaching the portrait hole when I saw Sirius head towards me. He was bored because he and Kiera just broke up this morning and James wasn't by his side, so he was no doubt just wondering for trouble. I was hoping he didn't notice me because I was able to slip down a hidden passage way that leads back down to the great hall. I took a seat and waited patiently while I hoped he went else were to wonder and didn't notice. I just wasn't in the mood to talk to him, I was tired, exhausted, and wasn't in the mood to start something or deal with him in general.

"Are you waiting for someone?" Darn it, he saw me. I looked up to see Sirius staring at me with a curious gaze in his eyes.

"Yes, I have a snog session intended." I smirked playfully as he held out a hand for me to take to get up off the floor. I grabbed it and let him pull me up.

"In that case, wait no longer a darling I am here." He returned my smirk and with a smooth motion he grabbed my arm in the gentlest manner I have ever experienced from him and planted a kiss on the back of my hand. I stared at where he had kissed for a moment before the gesture clicked in my head.

"SIRIUS BLACK!" I shouted before and before I knew it I was slapping him left and right.

"I was kidding!" he half laughed and half said in hysteria. I stopped at his words but I didn't stop glaring.

"You don't joke about that stuff. Girls will get the wrong idea." I said with my eyes still narrowed. I crossed my arms and didn't move my glare off of him as I took the time to lean up against the wall.

"I do it all the time. Girls love me and I love them." He took the chance to lean up against the opposite wall with that smooth charming posture of his. I couldn't help but stare and wonder how much of a little girl I looked at this moment. I obviously haven't grown but if I were star straight forward and not up at him I would only be staring at his belly button…okay maybe a little higher. He was just so…charismatic.

I rolled my eyes at his response a little late because I was busy taking his body in, something he didn't fail to notice.

"What like what you see?" He laughed while looking down at me.

"You wish." I returned to my glare "No I was just trying to figure out what girls see in you. I personally don't see a whole lot that I would want." I sneered noticing his face. At first he had this odd look upon it that looked a lot like disbelief but soon his face fell back into its usual cocky manner.

"Alright _Princess, _enlighten me then." He got up off the wall so he could be closer to me. He didn't get much closer though because I was coughing up a bit of blood as we were talking. "What can make me look better? If that is possible." He snorted in skepticism.

I started up at him for a moment taking in his appearance. There was a lot I hated about it. I hated it for all the wrong reasons. He was perfect. Perfect down to a t. He was handsome. His body was well molded. His hair was perfect and flawless. The way he held his body, melt-able…his face was that of a god. And…his eyes…were the one thing I could never hate. They were beautiful, that I knew. But I saw more than that in them. I never saw true happiness in them, no matter how much he smiled. I never saw anything but sorrow, longing, and despair within them. That told me he was human no matter how much he threw himself at people and told them otherwise with his well performed actions. There wasn't much he could change. His eyes, but that needed more than he could actually do.

Slowly I tore my eyes away from him and wiped my mouth of any traces of blood before I pocked my handkerchief. With a devious grin I walked forward and stood on my tippy toes. I stared at him right in his curious but yet longing eyes before I tore my eyes away and grabbed his ear and gave it a pinch.

"A piercing, right here" I smirked not letting go of his ear. He traced my arm with his eyes all the way up to my face, I wouldn't meet his gaze. I was still staring at his ear that was turning a soft red from my pinch. I let go finally and meet his gaze as I got off my tippy toes.

"Really? Hmmm" He gave it a bit a thought in his playful manner.

"I don't lie." I grinned, flipped my long hair not caring if it brushed by him or not and left the corridor. I didn't know if he took me serious or not, he never followed me back. I didn't mind though, that meant I finally got to take my nap.

* * *

The next several days flew by and before I knew it we were already taking our OWL's and I was feeling more miserable than ever. I did less time studying and more time sleeping, which in a way made me feel more stressed out and worse than ever.

We were waiting to take our Charms exams, which was first on the agenda. Then later in the day would be Transfiguration. Tomorrow would be DADA and Potions. That day I was more nervous for then I was today, I didn't get any studying done for those to class. I wasn't too worried about DADA but I was worried about Potions.

"You sure you're doing okay, Kobato?" Lily asked for about the 100th time as we were waiting outside the great hall.

"Fine, really." I said as reassuringly as I could. I didn't want to miss the OWL's even if I was half wishing it was Al and Rose asking me if I was alright.

"If you're sure" She sighed admitting defeat.

"Sure as James feelings for you." I teased.

"Don't even, I would not like to hear of that scums feelings for me before an exam." She scowled and threw a nasty glare over at James and his pals, which rumor has it they are going around as the Marauders. I'm not sure if it's true but they would do something silly like that.

I was about to retort but the doors to the great hall opened and we all went in for our OWL's. The day seemed to fly by. I tried my best not to cough or feel sick during any of the written exams, but over all I thought I did good. They weren't as hard as I thought but they were exhausting. I was ready to nap come dinner time but I knew I had some studying to do. James and the 'Marauders' where making a real ruckus not far down from where we were sitting. Us girls, Lily, Raven, Bri, and Kathleen, tried ignoring it our best. It was a little hard to do though.

"I really didn't think the Transfiguration essay was that bad" Lily commented as she was eating her potatoes. We all mentally groaned.

"Lil's we just got done, let's not talk about it." Bri sighed and we all nodded in agreement.

"But-" Lily started and Raven cut her off.

"I'm exhausted and that's saying something." Raven laughed at a crestfallen Lily. Lily always had to talk about the exam to feel better about herself. I didn't mind, just I was pretty exhausted today as well. "In any case, I'm more worried about Ko here." Raven nudged me, which I had been staring intently at my soup feeling ready to throw my face in it and sleep.

"What…I'm just tired." I coughed and looked up for a moment to see Lily, Raven, Bri, and Kathleen staring at me. I sighed at the concern looks that laced upon their face and pointed at them "I'm concerned about you guys." I pointed a finger at each of them.

"Us?" Kathleen faked shock as she put her hand over her mouth.

I was about to retort but there was a gentle tap on my shoulder. I turned around along with the girls expecting to see Sirius or James, but who I saw was not who I was a hoping for.

My eyes locked with cold icy eyes and his voice spoke in a drawl "Kobato, why not come eat with some real friends." He sneered eyed my friends with distaste. I knew I didn't have a choice in the manner.

I let out the friendliest smile I could muster at the time "Of course, I would love too." I lied my best and set down my fork to join the Slytherins. I turned to my friends and gave them one last sigh and followed him. I quickly picked the seat next to Regulus as a safety.

"Kobato! I didn't think you'd come, rumor has it you've been avoiding us since you shagged my brother." Regulus said in a playful manner.

I just laughed "There's two things wrong with that sentence right there…" I pointed at Regulus not failing to notice, Avery, Mucliber, Snape, Carrow, and Malfoy eyeing me with interest. "First off I did not shag Sirius Black" I pulled a finger down getting my point across even more. "Second off _you guys _have been avoiding me." I teased and pulled down another finger.

They all started laughing, knowing I was right about the first part.

"What a good girl you are." Regulus patted my head with a friendly smile lying upon his lips.

"I try" I responded, now noticing how exhausted I really sounded. I wouldn't let myself cough around them, it was a rule I had. I guess around them I felt like I had to better, I felt I had to be amazing no matter what. I had to be as sleek, gorgeous, mysterious, and poise as Narcissa or any other pureblood female for that matter.

"OWL's been going well?" Ugh, the idle chat that came from their mouth some times. I tried not to groan as I turned to Malfoy to answer his question.

"For the most part yet, I'm a bit nervous for tomorrow." I answered truthfully. And the idle chat carried on and on. I must have been doing a good job too because they asked me to come for a small walk with them. Sev even asked me for after the walk to go to the common room with him and study for Potions. I thought that was a grand idea to be honest. Studying with Snape for Potions? Can you say Outstanding? I ignored the pains in my chest, the weakness in my eyes, and all over urge to rest and said yes. I just couldn't say no, they seemed to like me and saying no would make me a disappointment. Why did I have to please everyone?

"I'm stilled baffled Nightray." Avery turned to me. I was walking in between him and Sev, I felt better with Sev on my side seeing as Avery loved to flirt with me. "If you don't care for Sirius, the blood traitor, why do you still talk to him all the time and act like you're his friend?" He asked with a curious face.

I attempted not to sigh as we walked on. "I have hope for him…that maybe I can change him." I answered him in truth, though not in the truth they were thinking of.

"I don't think there is any hope for him." Malfoy laughed a little ahead of us. "Though I admire you for trying" He turned to smile at me. I returned it before he kept walking.

"Why thank you" I said not sure if that was a good thing or not. The air was pretty decently pleasant. There was all light talk, no dark evil Voldemort talk. They weren't bad people most of the time. Really… "Someone has to do it right?" I laughed.

"And why shouldn't it be our little Gryffindor Angel?" Avery poked my nose with a playful laugh. "One that not fooled by him."

"I won't let some useless boy touch me. It will be someone better. I can dodge his bullet no matter how many he sends at me" I said with confidence and a smirk.

"Which bullet are you talking about?" Regulus teased. I attempted not to blush, but it was hard seeing as I felt the blood rush to my face and flush it a soft tinge.

I stayed cool and collect though "You know his charming good looks and dashing personality. He can try and be suave to me all he wants." I flipped my hair in a cocky manner that would match anything Sirius has ever pulled off. "I can't be fooled. I know he's a no good womaniz-" Sev cut me off.

"Stop before you same something nasty." He laughed realizing I would have said some nasty things and that's not pureblood lady etiquette. I fully blushed this time. I didn't try and hide it as my face lit bright red. I knew it probably looked even worse because I was so dizzy, tired, and weak that I knew I was paler than normal.

"Leave the poor girl alone, she looks feverish." Avery said in sympathy.

"Now that you mention it…" Regulus turned to me with all the other boys noticing for once how weak I really looked. I tried to ignore the stares, but I couldn't help noticing the air was getting thicker around us. It wasn't as playful, something was about to happen as we wondered aimlessly in the dungeons.

"I darest say I don't know what you're talking about." I slipped a cough after I said it. Great…

"Feeling ill again?" Sev whispered more to me, being the only one who noticed my cough. Everyone was walking forward as we approached two little 2nd years from Hufflepuff.

"Well well well, what do we have here." Malfoy's cold harsh voice called out to the two girls. We all came to a halt and stood in a line next to Malfoy. Everyone else but me seemed to have this sick little twisted smile playing on their face, almost everyone, I wasn't daring to look at Sev. I didn't want my image of him to be ruined. I was scared at this point. Not only because I was losing a battle with my health, but because those were second years and Malfoy's tone was telling me they were in danger, as were the snickers coming from Avery, Regulus and Carrow.

"I'd say two little itty bitty _mudbloods _by the look of things." I didn't look over but that sickly tone and disgusting talk told me it was Carrow.

I couldn't take my off of the girls. They were very precious in their own way. But right now in their big round eyes, all I saw was fear. They knew they were in an unpleasant situation. I felt even worse. I didn't know what I could do in my state and to be honest, I was afraid. I didn't want these guys as my enemies. Not in the slightest.

"Wait a second, you on the right with the brown hair?" Avery commanded as all the boys were pulling out their wand. The little girl squeaked and with her whole body shaking down to every inch, she bravely took a step forward. "You're Baskerville's younger sister are you not?" He questioned in a harsh tone, but lighter than everyone else had been. The Baskervilles…one was in Slyhterin, they were purebloods! One was safe! I tried not to let a sigh of relief escape my lips as I hoped to god she was. The attempt to not let a sigh out ended up being a string of vicious coughs. I knew it was bad when no one took notice to me.

The little girl took a bit too long to respond for my liking. She didn't want to abandon her friend, that was for sure, but she didn't want anything to happen to her. If anything if she was able to get away she could get a teacher and save her friend. I can hope.

Finally she spoke "Y-y-yes." She suttered fearfully "M-m-my sis-sisters are Lucy and Autumn." She finally said with as much confidence as she could muster.

The boys all nodded to each other. "You should know better than hanging around with her" Malfoy sneered "Go!" He commanded for her to leave. She didn't need telling twice, she ran off, hopefully for help.

One was safe.

"Now, kindly tell me your surname." Malfoy sneered while pointing his wand at the trembling girl that was left.

She showed a bit more bravery then Baskerville did as she stepped forward "It's Dawson." She didn't stammer on her words, which was good, but she did have fear in her voice and her body was still quivering.

After the words made it out of her mouth the boys all snorted. "Mudblood" they all muttered at the same time.

"Let's have a little fun then shall we?" Malfoy turned to the guys with a revolting smile on his face. The look alone made me want to puke on the spot, as if I was feeling good enough in the first place.

The girl was about to move, Avery noticed it first "Now now" He said quickly and cast black ropes around her arms and legs to prevent her from moving. "We can't have you running you filthy piece of trash." He spat at her while everyone nodded in agreement and took a step forward. I attempted to take a step forward but I was losing it, but my body was fading out. I was going to passout soon.

I stared hopefully and the group of boys before me. I was hoping and praying they wouldn't do anything serious, but this air, this feeling, this pit of fear in my stomach told me it was about to get nasty. I needed to be strong for that girl. I needed to be someone. I needed to be the Gryffindor I was meant to be. I don't care if these boys hate me, she needs me. I slowly moved my body forward as the boys were still contemplating on how to toy with her the most. They did a couple of spells here and there, she was hanging in there. I saw, now that I was closer, tears were streaking her adorable face. And with each tear I saw fall off her face I felt the strings in my heart get pulled farther and farther down, I didn't want this, I wanted to run. But I didn't my feet kept moving little by little. I was standing back in between Avery and Sev as bravely as I knew how. Just in time too.

"Mind if I get serious boys?" Malfoy asked and didn't wait for much of a response. He was already raising his wand. I watched him with widen eyes but I felt like I wasn't there, my body was carrying me over to the girl. I watched in what seemed like an out of body experience as I lunged for the girl and grabbed her tightly just as Malfoy said "Crucio!" He didn't say it very loud, I knew the girl wouldn't have heard it, I read his lip which is how I knew. He didn't see me coming and he fired right at me, only noticing a second to late I had grabbed the girl. I watched his eyes widen in shock and then change to confusion. And time stood still. The girl was screaming I was clinging to her tightly as the spell charged right for me. No one moved.

And then it hit me right in the back and all at once I felt it. My bones were on fire, my chest was heaving in two as blood rushed forward out of my mouth and I coughed it everywhere scream in intense pain. I looked over to the girl to see if she was okay, trying to ignore the intense pain that was filling me, her beautiful green eyes were staring back at me with gratitude, sorrow, and fear…and some how bringing me joy that she was safe.

I don't know how long I was there before Malfoy lifted the curse and I didn't know how long I stared at that girl, because everything happened so fast and next thing I knew it was black around me and the world stopped existing. I passed out.


	14. Chapter 14: Ashamed

**Chapter 14: Don't be afraid, don't be ashamed.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

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I hoped I wasn't out for long, but I knew I probably was. It was clearly night time I knew that much as I groped for my wand. After a couple seconds of searching I had it and I light it to see the clock. It was only 10:30 at night. Against my better judgment I threw myself out of bed and quietly tip toed to the door and snuck myself to the Gryffindor common room. I ignored all the letters and flowers I got, I'd come back before anyone noticed I was gone, I just needed to know what day it was and I knew the boys would tell me. They wouldn't object. I hope.

As easily and quick as I could I made my way up there with little to no problems. I thought I saw Peeves making a commotion, but that was only my imagination, thank god. Finally I made it to the Fat Lady only to notice a figure slumped on the floor looking desperate. I cautiously approached the person to notice it was Sev. My eyes widened at first, I protected a so called mudblood, would he still accept me? He had to he was friends with Lily, right?

I threw my fears behind me and in a softer whisper then I expect asked "Sev?"

His head titled up at the sound of his voice, but his face didn't light up at all. Everything seemed to be taken from his very heart and soul.

Even his words seemed dead "Shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?" He asked barely seeming to care.

"What are you doing out here?" I questioned feeling he was more important than me. I actually felt fine, I mean other than being weak.

He flinched as I reached forward to put a friendly hand on his shoulder "Lily and I fought and she…she won't give me another chance!" He pleaded like a child.

"And what are you doing out here then?" I asked as gently as I could. He seemed so frail and scared.

"I'm camping out here till she listens! I didn't mean it!" He grabbed me frantically trying to prove a point.

"What happened? What did you not mean to do?" I gasped knowing this whole time that my eyes were staring widely at him.

"I…"He looked wild in disbelieve "I called her a mudblood." He finally admitted in a harsh whisper.

I felt my jaw drop and I turned to leave. He was standing up now and grabbing onto me.

"Please let me into talk to her?" He questioned begging me like a servant begs their master. I felt disgusted as I shook his hand off of my arm.

"I'll bring her out here." I snapped throwing him away. "Can you just let me in? It's me…you know me." I asked the Fat Lady feeling like Sev, no Snape, should be nowhere near us.

"Of course dear, I wouldn't want that in the noble house of Gryffindor." She glared at Snape with much distaste.

I didn't give it a second thought, the minute the Fat Lady flew the portrait open. I crawled through not caring what became of Snape as long as he didn't follow me through. I was waiting for this moment. The moment he would lose it, the moment he would become confused and call Lily a mudblood.

Once I made my way through, I was slightly shocked by how empty it was. There was only a couple of figures by the fire and a couple hidden in the corner near the boy's dorms. After a quick scan for Lily's red hair I detrimed she wasn't here and was probably in her dorm, so I headed up there feeling, well confused. I wanted to comfort Lily but a part of me still felt for Snape. He was there for me a couple of times and I couldn't do the same for him? No this is different, he betrayed Lily.

My mind was for sure made up, so wearily I made my way to the staircase. I didn't get very far though before there was a familiar grasp around my arm.

"Kobato?" I whirled around to see James staring down at me with worry. I gave out a sigh of relief at the sight of his face and I immediately grabbed onto him and embraced him in a tight hug. He didn't return my smile at all, he frowned in fact. "Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital wing?" He gave me a stern look, like a concern father. I tried to ignore it, but he grabbed my shoulders "Look Kobato"

"No, James I'm fine! I gotta go talk to Lily." I said shaking him off and attempting to walk for the girls dorms. I didn't get very far before James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus surrounded me, causing an impenetrable wall.

"What's so important that you left the hospital wing to talk to Lily about?" Remus questioned while looking down at me in disappointment.

"Well…I didn't leave the hospital wing to talk to her originally." I looked down and my feet and talked in a soft voice.

"What makes it so important now?" Sirius stepped forward crossing his arms. Peter too stepped forward right next to Sirius, making me take a step backwards.

"Oh...Snape, he's waiting outside the common room pleading." I kept slowly backing away as I spoke, I didn't like the way they were approaching me.

"Still? I thought Lily-flower already told him off!" James said through grit teeth while glaring at the portrait hole.

"We'll deal with him later." Sirius grinned over at James while rubbing his hands together as if he had something extremely devious planned. James nodded in acknowledgement to Sirius before turning to me.

"Kobato, I'm sorry for this. Especially since your nightgown is so short." I didn't have time to respond to his awkward choice of words. In one quick motion he was tossing me up on his shoulders and whisking me away out of the common room up to the boy's dorm.

"Wait no, NO….JAMES NO!" He refused to put me down. I was kicking and screaming. He didn't let any of my protesting phase him. He kept walking till he made it to the dorm. Finally he threw me on a bed.

"You're going to sleep here" Was all he said before he closed the curtains around me.

I searched for my wand so I could start something on fire but he already took it away from me. If I couldn't use my wand I would have to use my fist then. But when I tried to get out of the bed I seemed to have hit an invisible wall. I could get out.

"A shield charm? You've got to be kidding." I was furious as I ripped at the curtains.

"As a prefect, I can't let you go wondering around ill" Remus said with a sad smile, but he was clearly enjoying it along with everyone else.

"But that means you surely can't let me sleep in the boys dorm." I retorted trying not to plead.

Sirius grinned over at me. "You've done it before, cry more." He leaned in and rested his hands on the invisible wall and stared in at me "Besides we can't let you out now, you'd kill us."

"I'll kill you all in the morning." I screamed feeling like a caged animal.

"First things first" James ignored me and turned to Sirius "Let's go give Snivelle's what he deserves." They both grinned broadly, turned to Remus and Peter, who nodded as well. Then they all left me very much alone on James' bed, caged.

There wasn't much I could do other than sigh, lay back, and relax. I did just that. I made myself cozy on James' bed and rested as best I could. But to be honest I was too upset that they would just leave me alone here. Not just leave me alone, trap me here as well. If I had more strength and I wasn't busy coughing at this current moment, I would have been trying to find a weak spot in this stupid shielding charm they put around me.

But luckily I didn't have to lay there that long. My guess was Snape didn't put up much of a fight, so the boys had an easy time and were back in no time laughing.

"What? You think it's funny to leave an ill girl alone?" I sneered the minute they came back. "I could have died." I threw in for good measure as they all took a seat on either the floor or Sirius bed.

"Hate to break it to you, doll, but you are too stubborn to die." Sirius teased with a smile.

"She could, we don't know what curse Malfoy hit her with." Remus looked curiously at me as I coughed a bit more into my handkerchief.

"I'm not telling." I immediately said. I didn't know why either. I had time to think on the way here about what happened in the hallway with the Slytherins and I know for sure that Malfoy wouldn't have hit me with Crucio if he had a choice, but it was an accident. What I did know was that he would have hit that poor girl, just because she was a 'mudblood'. That I didn't like. I didn't even want to know what would have happened if I wasn't there. So why was I hiding the truth? If they didn't know…I mean wouldn't it be idea to tell them? What was I protecting? Surely not myself…right?

"Oh come off it. By the time Baskerville came with McGonagall you had just passed out on top of Dawson." James glared at me hoping for more answers. So Baskerville did get help. "Dawson said she didn't hear the spell and the Slyhterins weren't spilling." James walked forward and waved his wand, meaning the shield was let down. He sighed and took a seat next to me. "Can you tell us?" He asked as he rested a loving hand on my back.

All eyes were on me. Everyone was curious about what happened. And I didn't even know what day it was or how many exams I missed for that matter.

"Malfoy said it quiet enough, that's for sure." I sighed and rested on James' chest remember the heart shaking event as the scenes unfolded in my head. "He clearly didn't want anyone to hear him." I said in a soft exhausted voice.

"He knew what he was doing." Remus said "He was covering, clearly." He shook his head understand the situation.

"Did you at least hear what spell it was, Ko?" Sirius asked hopefully. I couldn't figure out why. His eyes were hard to read in the moonlight room. I stared at him for a bit before I dared to answer.

"No, but I read his lips." I said truthfully while closing my eyes to rest. "I didn't need to though. I knew it was Cruciatus curse right away."

"We thought it might have been that. Dumbledore was furious, something about you needing to be safe and alive. It was sorta like when Sirius nearly killed you." James started rubbing my back in a brotherly manner. I appreciated it a lot. It was soothing me to sleep.

The boys carried on talking while I just rested and next thing I know the sun was peeking through the windows and my eyes were fluttering open to the sound of the boys getting ready. I slowly stretched out on the bed and took in my surroundings. Sirius was already dress and was making faces in a mirror in between his and James' bed. I suppressed a snigger as I watch him flash charming smile after charming smile at the mirror, I half suspect he was thinking different pick up lines. I stopped watching him so I wouldn't laugh and instead turned to Peter and Remus who were going over a Herbology book by the looks of it. They were talking to each other and Peter seemed frantic and Remus seemed calm. I enjoyed Remus, he was always so nice and so willing to help. I let out a sigh as I watched the two for a bit more before turning to find James. James was a whole different story. He was sitting on the floor with several pictures of Lily examining them with a smile on his face. I crawled towards the end of the bed to watch him closer. By now everyone but James, knew I was up. They didn't say anything they just watched me as I watched James. Pick a picture up then put it back down. He did this for several more minutes before my curiosity got the best of me.

"James, what are you doing?" I asked bluntly taking a seat next to him on the floor.

"Trying to figure out which one she looks the cutest in." He ruffled his hair in the same fashion he did when Lily is around and kept staring at the photos paying no attention to me.

"That one, where she's scrunching her nose" I pointed out thinking that one was defiantly the cutest.

"Good eye!" He smiled happily and threw me a hug.

"No problem" I laughed wondering if he really managed to get all these pictures of her without her noticing. I sure as heck never noticed.

"What?" He asked raising an eyebrow at me as he put the pictures in a box saying 'Lily-flower'.

"Mate, it's just a little weird. I've been telling you that for ages." Sirius came up behind James and rested a hand on his shoulder "If Kobato thinks so then it must be true." He smirked, bring a glare out of James.

James was about to retort but Remus cut him off "Let's go down for breakfast. Two more exams today, then one tomorrow and we're done!" He said happily while closing his book.

"You mean I missed DADA and Potions?" I groaned.

Remus was about to answer but the door busted open as Kyle Lagging, a 7th year walked in looking worried. "Is Nightray here? Dumbledore is in the common room looking for her." He asked out of breath looking around the room for me.

I ruffled my hair "Busted" I sighed and let Sirius help me up.

"You are here, better head down, there's trouble." He said hastily before leaving.

Sirius still held my hand and dragged me to the door "I got this one." He turned to James, Remus, and Peter with a nod. I didn't get much of a choice as he led me down to the common room.

"I don't need your help." I coughed. "I'm a big girl."

"Mmm" He smiled and pulled out his handkerchief to wipe up the blood on my lip as we walked. "Little girl, you're a little girl." He corrected.

I pulled out my wand as we neared the end of the steps. "Excuse me?" I nearly shouted.

"Oh relax." He rolled his eyes and pushed my wand away from his face. He ignored my steaming attitude and kept pulling me to where Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Madam Pomfry were waiting with a mixture of concern and anger.

"What a pleasant surprise Headmaster!" Sirius put on his best smile and shoved me forward.

"Mr. Black." Dumbledore nodded in return to Sirius friendly greeting. "I see you brought us our missing patient." Dumbledore wore his twinkling smile as he stared down his half moon spectacles at me.

"Ah yes, terribly sorry, it's all my fault." Sirius lied staring at all three authority figures without an inch of shame that he was lying.

"I don't care whose fault it is! I want my patient back!" Madam Pomfrey protest pulling me forward as gently as she could in her anger.

"Now now, let us hear an explanation." Dumbledore rested a hand on Madam Pomfrey shoulder. She let me go at once, leaving me to walk back to Sirius side.

"Yes, I'd rather like to hear what Mr. Black has to say this time." McGonagall let her nostrils flare, I could tell anything Sirius said, she wouldn't believe. No one believed that Sirius and I were magically friends over night, not from the staff of Hogwarts at least.

"You see Professor" Sirius smiled, I just watched him wondering what he would pull out this time. "It was around 7 at night. I wanted to check a fact for my Herbology exam today. You know? Exam worries." He waved a hand wearily in the air "So I headed off to the library, but alas. I couldn't find the fact I was looking for and by 8 I found myself too frustrated to carry on." He ruffled his hair throwing an evening more dashing smirk at Madam Pomfry, then to McGonagall. "I did what any young teenager like myself would do, I took a walk."

"Mr. Black do you have a point? I'd rather you get to it soon we have things to be doing." McGonagall asked impatiently. I'm pretty sure at this point her nostrils would protrude into her forehead she was getting that aggravated with Sirius.

"Of course I do, everything in my story is important." He nodded reassuringly. I kept watching his every move. He was pretty good. His body movements were so smooth and clear. It seemed like everything he did had a purpose and that purpose was to help get his point across better, whether it was lying or not.

"Then do carry on, Mr. Black." Dumbledore smiled clearly amused as the smile met his eyes.

"Thank you sir" Sirius nodded. By this point I was feeling really tired though. I had to grab onto Sirius for support as he carried on his lie. "So I wondered all the way to the Astronomy tower. I sat there for a long time in fact. So long it was past curfew. Now being the good student I am, I knew I had to get back as not to cause trouble."

"Surely" McGonagall practically rolled her eyes at Sirius. I was trying not to laugh. It was amusing. Sirius a good student…yes because he's never broken a rule before in his life.

"It's true, I know. I'm such a model student." Sirius continued in the cockiest voice I had ever heard come from his lips and he wasn't even referring to his good looks. He must be sick. "In any case I started to head back when I heard Flich muttering. Now I figured he had better things to do then to write me up who just forgot the time. I was sure there were other students who were out causing trouble. So I thought it was best to hide in the closest room. To Kobato's luck that was the hospital wing." He grinned over at me, hoping I would nod to add to his lie.

"Naturally" Dumbledore didn't take his eyes off of Sirius for a moment. He was listening rapidly with a hidden smile.

"Yes, so here I was in the hospital wing and I hear this crying and rustling of blankets. And I thought to myself 'Self, that has to be your dear friend Kobato, no one else is in the hospital wing.' So as any chivalrous young man from Gryffidor would do, I walked over to her bed." I was gapping freely at him. He seriously wasn't going to make me look like some weak little girl was he? "There she was crying and grabbing onto her neck as she slept on. She was clearly having a nightmare. So I woke her up, I just…it broke my heart." He was…he was making me look like a little girl, that little. Ugh. He carried on though, not noticing how upset I was. "She was so scared and she didn't want to be alone, so I took her back to the Gryffidor common room to see James. He's like her brother you know."

"You're telling me you took an ill patient out because she had a nightmare and didn't want to be alone?" McGonagall questioned. She was glaring down at Sirius as she took a step forward.

"I'm also right here." I rolled my eyes.

"What…oh of course you are." McGonagall was clearly about to yell at Sirius, but she stopped herself noticing me. "Is this ridiculous story true?" she stared at me daring to say yes. I couldn't look at McGonagall she was making me want to say no. I had to look at Dumbledore who still had that twinkle in his eye. I wanted to get Sirius back. I also knew Sirius was looking down at me, but I ignored him as I coughed a little bit still feeling very tired and weak.

"I don't know. I think I was kidnapped." I glared over at Sirius lying my heart away "I don't remember honestly. I'm tired Sirius kept talking in his sleep. Something about James never loving him since he only has eyes for Lily" It was now Sirius turn to glare at me. And before I knew it he and I were bickering back and forth, reminding me why I didn't like him half the time. Obviously it was broken up in seconds before we even landed a curse. And before I knew it I was whisked off to the hospital wing. Sirius got a detention that he would no doubt have to serve next school term. And I got pretty much a slap on the wrist to not let Sirius steer me away. I was in the hospital wing for a reason and so forth.

* * *

There wasn't much excitement for the rest of the school year. Everyone finished up their OWLs, I on the other hand didn't get to. I was still in the hospital wing till school got out. The most I was with the whole school was the train ride home with all my friends, being Lily, Raven, Bri, and Kathleen. And next thing I knew I was back at Trigger's place getting ready to take my OWL's that I missed at the ministry. I took them and they went easier than I thought. The minute I was done I felt the freedom of summer and I was ready to go home. Home to my time that is, but Trigger apparently did a lot of discussing with Dumbledore and they both decided it was best that I didn't go back to my time, for now that is.

The thought of not going home seemed to drive me into depression because I thought for sure I would get to go home, only to find out I wasn't allowed. I would lock myself in my room for days on end. Trigger couldn't take it any longer so he started pulling me to all sorts of Vampire events. I didn't mind. Most of the time the Rainsworth's were there so I would spend time with whichever one was there and I found it kept me busy to some degree. I went to at least 2 events a day. And when I wasn't in an event I was going through etiquette training, eating, or sleeping. It was overall very exhausting but keeping my mind off of what I wanted to think of the most. And that was my mom, dad, Al, and Rose. Luckily for me though, the Vampire's all knew why I was here and fully supported me and gave me as much comfort and love they could.

Fay Rainsworth was my favorite. She was always there for me and very supportive. And for only being 18 she was very grown up at the events, but when it was just the two of us, I felt like she was my age. Fay had loved me more than anyone else I had met in this time and that I could tell. She after all was spending a good week with Trigger planning my birthday party which was to take place today on my birthday, which is on the 14th of July.

I woke up to find Fay hovering over my bed with a huge grin playing across her face.

"Morning!" She squealed and without waiting for my response pulled me out of bed and into the drawing room. "I have a surprise for you!" She skipped happily. I had no choice but to follow as she dragged me forward. She stood there blocking my view for a good moment before I heard Trigger speak.

"Fay, let her see." He laughed at how playful she was.

"Oh alright…" She sighed in defeat. "Ready? Ready? Reaaaaaady?" Fay smiled with the biggest smile I had seen on her yet. She shook me back and forth only furthering her excitement.

I tried not to smirk as I teased her "No, I'm actually ready to go to bed." I stated in a bored tone.

"Oh hush!" She scolded and stood out of the way for me to see. I had a hard time understand what she was so excited about at first. All I saw was several professional hair dressers, nail artist, and seamstress, which did not make me happy in the slightest. Then squealing nearby was Lily and Raven. I immediately ran up to them.

Raven picked me up gladly and spun me around. "It's my little Kobato!" She said happily as she spun me faster and faster, till she finally collapsed making me land on her. We were laughing happily.

"Oh you guys." Lily said disapprovingly but held enjoyment in her voice as she helped me and Raven up. I couldn't help but notice she was getting taller and more beautiful if that was possible.

After a couple more minutes Fay explained herself "I wanted to invite those dashing men you were with at the Christmas party but Lily said no." Fay sighed into her hands feeling upset with herself.

"I would have murdered Black. And Lily would have murdered James." I laughed "No hard feelings."

"But…" Fay gasped.

"It's true, Black and Kobato here didn't end on good terms." Raven laughed and threw an arm around me.

"Not my fault." I whistled innocently. Fay gave me a look but brushed it off. She was too enthused.

"In anycase, you girls need to get ready for the ball tonight." Fay clapped.

I on the other hand turned to Trigger with no enthusiasm what so ever. "Ball? I've been to about 100 this summer and you throw one for my birthday?"

Trigger who was never phased by anger bowed "I'm sorry. You'll enjoy it I promise." He smiled then turned to head out of the drawing room.

From that moment on the day flew by faster than I could have ever imagined. Raven and Lily had never been to a formal ball, that wasn't school related that is. So this was a big event for them. The two biggest parts for them was the getting ready, which took long enough in itself, and the fact that this was going to be a Vampire ball. And well, Vampires do things a bit differently then what go on in Wizarding balls. I'd have to say though the getting ready is the same. Like I said to Trigger before this would be about my 100th one this summer, so for me I knew what I wanted and what not. Lily and Raven? They were having too much fun. Finally after hours of picking the right dress and having it fit they were onto the perfect nails and hair.

I was to wear a white dress, since it way my birthday, and white flowers in my long white hair to match. Lily and Raven got to be whatever color they wanted. Fay had convinced Raven to go with a lavender and Lily with a green. And they both looked beautiful.

Lily had her beautiful red hair pinned up in perfect curls, where as Raven had her dark hair down with very loose curls. Both looked so elegant and grown up they had a hard time pulling themselves from the mirror. But I did that easily when Fay had disappeared to usher the hair dresser out.

"Follow me." I said quickly while hiking up my dress so I could tip toe easy.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked raising an eyebrow but still following me none the less.

"Shhh keep it down. Trigger hates it when I do this." I said in a quieter voice as we walked on.

"So we are rule breaking?" Raven tip toed closer to me.

I just nodded and headed into the music room, as I called it since it had a piano and tons of other instruments hanging on the wall. I pulled both Raven and Lily all the way to the windows where I got down on my knees to watch as the guest pulled up in their carriages on the cobblestone driveway.

"I like to know what families are coming so I always spy through here." I smirked pointing down at an elegant Silver carriage that just arrived.

Lily and Raven sat down next to me and watched in awe.

"Who's coming out of the carriage now?" Lily asked with curiosity as she pressed her face up against the glass window.

"Valhimors by the looks of it" I said scrunching up my eyes to see. Sure enough it was. It was a beautiful man with brown hair who came out of the carriage followed by his wife. "Yeah that's them, old old purebloods." I added.

"Beautiful." Both Lily and Raven responded as their two twins, male and female, came out of the carriage next.

I just smiled wondering how they would feel about the Ebony's. We watched 10 more carriage pull up before we got to the Ebony's, but by now Fay was by outside adding in the watching and commenting on every single Vampire family or person who came in.

"Ebony's are coming" I smirked looking up at the elegant black carriage that had just stopped. Fay and I exchanged glances before giggling.

"What?" Both Raven and Lily asked thoroughly curious.

"You'll see!" I smirked playful and then gave Fay a high five.

I watched closely as the carriage of five drop dead platinum blond boys sophisticatedly stepped out of the carriage into the rising moonlight. Their skin was as beautiful as any Vampires, smooth, pale, and perfect. But there blond hair is what made them. It shone brightly and was worn handsomely on each of them. And don't even get me started on their bodies, perfect muscle, perfect shape, perfect everything.

I turned to Lily and Raven, both of them were gapping just like I knew they would at the boys. It didn't last long though.

"Fay Rainsworth, Kobato Nightray, you know better!" All our heads snap to the door to see Icy Rainsworth, Fay's older brother, glaring down at us.

I quickly got up "It's not what it looks like" I said shyly and gave a low bow.

"I'm sure" He scowled, I knew he didn't mean it because he was having a hard time suppressing a snicker. "Trigger wants you down stairs and please stop this nonsense." I saw a smile slip on his face as he closed the door.

"Hope he doesn't tell Trigger." Fay let out a sigh of relieve while wiping her brow.

"It will be fine, let's just get to the ballroom. It's almost time for the presentation to start." I shrugged trying not to worry about it.

"Presentation?" Lily asked taking small strides to match my pace.

"You'll see…it's" I looked over at Fay trying to find the right words.

"Probably different for them, but overall I'd say dull." Fay sighed and flipped her elegant hair.

"So are we the only humans?" Raven questioned curiously as we made our way closer and closer to the ballroom.

"You two are, yes." Fay pointed to Raven and Lily leaving them to look at me in question.

"Kobato's human too." Lily looked between Fay and I with a confused look. It took a moment to dawn on Fay, I knew she invaded their minds.

"Right…I forget!" Fay lied quickly and skipped ahead.

"What was that all about?" Raven asked skeptically.

I looked over at her with an awkward grin "Look ummm, it's a whole new game from here on out." I said ignoring the question in attempt to prepare them for what was about to happen. "Just have fun, okay?" I said with a smile. They nodded as I straighten up and walked in the graceful way I was taught.

When we made it through the ballroom doors even I was astonished at the beautiful lavender and light pink flowers that were draped from the ceilings, the beautiful paper lanterns, and the tables that were scattered around. Many people were already sitting at their designated table. I lead Lily and Raven to the head table where Trigger, Icy, and Fay were already waiting. I took a seat in the middle leaving Lily and Raven to sit on my right and left. And there we waited for everyone to file in before I made my speech.

A couple minutes passed where I heard Lily and Raven gasp in awe in the finely dressed people that where making their way through the doors. From what I could tell there was at least 15 set of Vampire families. A good portion pureblood and a small few of Elite from what I could tell. I was getting better with the Vampire society as of lately, but it's still a lot to take in.

I watched the last family shuffle to their spot, waited for the nod from Trigger I and I stood up holding my glass of wine up. Everyone else but Lily, Raven, and I had blood in theirs. But the wine was so dark red like blood no one could tell.

I stared kindly at everyone before I spoke, "Good evening everyone." They all returned my smile and stood up in respect for me. I noticed Lily and Raven were a bit hesitant at first but they stood up as well. "First off I would like to welcome you all for coming tonight. I am very honored to be in the presence of such wonderful and noble blood." Most people nodded their heads or raised their glass before putting it down after my words. They were very proud and honorable people after all. "I would also like to state, though I'm sure many of you have noticed, that we have two humans among us." This earned a chuckle from some of the older men and woman, for there were a great amount of young teens and young adults who had not noticed. "I introduce to you Lily Evans and Raven Clearwater from Hogwarts." Both Lily and Raven unsure of what to do took a bow. Everyone gave them a clap of respect for not fearing for their safety. "I expect you to treat them as you treat me. Although don't offer them any blood wine." I laughed and everyone joined in with me. "And most of all please, everyone enjoy yourself!" I raised my glass in the air and everyone followed. With one last smile to everyone I could, I took a seat, everyone following in me as the food started to appear on the plates.

I had a lovely dinner with everyone and Lily and Raven enjoyed talking with Trigger, Icy, and Fay. We were all having a great time before it was time for the 'gifts' so to speak. Vampire's didn't really give gifts it was rather more of a blessing. I stood out at right in front of the head table with Lily and Raven on my sides as each Vampire who wanted to bless me came by.

"So what exactly is going on?" Raven asked in a whisper as beautiful violin music stringed through the background.

"You'll see." I whispered in return.

"This is so exciting! I'm learning so muuuch." Lily grinned, she was excited, I could tell. She had wide eyes as the first family approached me.

"It would be my honor." Shadow Wentworth smiled warmly and gently kissed my hand. I tried my hardest not to flinch. My hand was slowly inching up to my neck.

"It would be my honor." The next member of the Wentworth smiled and kissed my hand in the same manner. This went on for a while, since almost everyone wanted to give me their blessing. I know Lily started to notice that my free hand kept inching for my neck because after the 10th family she grabbed onto my hand and held it tight. I was grateful of the gesture, but ashamed that I was afraid of them. None of them would do anything, they are too pure, and not only that, Trigger was here to protect me.

I eased up a bit by the time we reach the Ebony boys, who were the last ones to come through.

"It would be my honor." Pandora Ebony the second to last of the five kissed my wrist gently. As he was getting up I couldn't help notice his eyes wonder over to Raven, who blushed madly at his sweet gaze.

I tried not to giggle as Requiem Ebony came in front of me and kissed my hand saying the same thing.

Finally that was over with…or so I thought. Trigger had now taken Requiem's spot and was kneeling in front of me with a proud smile and tear starting to shine in his eyes. I stared at him, he was practically eye length when he was kneeling in front of me. I waited for the words I had heard for the last twenty minutes but they didn't come. All eyes were on us as he peered into my eyes with such love, I had a hard time holding his gaze.

Till finally he leaned forward and kissed my bare neck and whispered in my ear "It would be my honor."

After he said it I felt my cheeks go red. I was embarrassed. I knew Trigger cared for me, but the way he made it sound was that he loved me. I mean there was nothing wrong with that he was only four years older than me, but still. It was embarrassing. I tried my best to keep my face calm and collect as he led me out onto the dance floor. Everyone seemed to be waiting in bated breath as the music chimed up with more instruments other than the violin started playing. I danced and twirled with just Trigger on the dance floor for a while before other couples around us joined in.

I noticed that close by Lily was dancing with Icy and Raven was dancing with Pandora. I couldn't help but smile as the night dragged on in beautiful harmony.

**A/N: A bit of the Vampire society...next time back to school :3**


	15. Chapter 15: You Should Know Pain

**Chapter 15: If you want to obtain love, you should know pain.**

**A/N: Thank you sooo much Strange Girl221, for the wonderful review**. **Also thank you everyone from reading. So here's the next chapter. Though Fanfic has been giving me trouble lately...that's why these are getting out later than I wanted :O. Enjoy, another fun chapter I thought. Bah what am I saying? I love them all :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter (Which I always want to make it Hairy Potter :P)**

* * *

The evening of my birthday flew by way to fast. Raven was totally engaged with Pandora to the point where I didn't even see her till al the guest left and we were all crashing in my room. As for Lily she was so fascinated by how smart Icy was that it was hard to pull her away. I didn't mind though. Having them being there was all I needed. I shared a lovely dance with Trigger on several accounts within the evening. I also got to dance with Elliot Ebony, Pandora's twin, for a good while. It was one of the better birthdays I had ever had. I didn't even get to open my presents till the next day. When I opened them I found an odd teddy bear with no clue on who gave it to me. It was cute none the less and odd out of all the books and jewelry I seemed to get from everyone else.

And the days after the party flew by really fast, heck the rest of summer flew by so fast I was actually sad to let it go, but I was still busy packing the day before we left, it reminded me that I had to let it go eventually.

"Trigger? Have you seen my ties? I can't find them anywhere." I ran quickly into his study as he was going over documents. I was out of breath having run all over the house looking for him.

His eyes met mine as I took another gasp for air "Kobato, you really should run like that, love." He sighed and got up to stand before me. "You'll be sick on your first day of school." He smiled wearily while putting a loving hand on my cheek.

"I know…but this is important." I sighed and put my hand over his hand that was on my cheek. I closed my eyes and rested a moment waiting for his response.

"I'm not sure where they are but do you want me to help?" He question and got down on his knees so I wouldn't have to look up at him. I opened my eyes at the gesture.

"That…"I stopped I was feeling dizzy. I felt my body sway from underneath me as Trigger's face blurred in and out.

"_Trigger, I'm sorry I don't want to leave!" I cried and ran towards him for a hug. He held onto me tightly _

"_I don't want you to go to Hogwarts either." He pulled away from our embrace with a pain look etched upon his face "I want to protect you, always." He stroked some stray hairs away from my eyes as tears threaten to stick them to my face. _

"_Can I just stay with you forever?" I knew I was being childish but I didn't want to leave him. _

"_We can't be selfish." He smiled and leaned forward to plant a gentle kiss on my forehead._

"Kobato? Stay with me…shhhh your okay!" My vision came back to see that I had fallen into Trigger's lap. He was holding me tightly looking worried.

"Sorry…just a little tired." I said while wiping my eyes. I was reliving the first time I left America for Hogwarts. That was one of my hardest moments ever.

"_I love you Trigger, please…I don't…I can't"_

I shook my head trying to remain where I was. I couldn't let my illness get the best of me, not in front of Trigger. We had already had an agreement earlier that week that maybe it's time I decide to be a Vampire for my health's sake. I yelled and screamed and said I hated him. Next hour though I was curled up in his bed sobbing next to him as he comforted me because I knew he was right and I was being a child.

"_I love you too Kobato. Please be strong." Trigger smiled down at me._

I grabbed my forehead trying to focus "Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go upstairs please." I asked softly.

"Of course, my little Dove." Trigger answered and picked me up to carry me upstairs to my room. "Don't worry about packing I'll do it, okay?" He said sweetly as he gently placed me on my bed.

I knew I couldn't argue with him, he had more authority over me than I would ever have over him. "Yes okay." I rolled my eyes and pulled the blankets over me.

"Kobato? When did you get to be like this?" He questioned abandoning my packing and took a seat next to me on my bed.

"Like what?" I asked truly being oblivious to what he was asking.

"You used to love me and be more open with me." He rested his hand on my neck. I twitched fearfully only for a moment, but a moment was lost. He noticed and tried not to act upset.

"I…"I turned away from him in shame. It was…it all started at that time.

"_Al, what is it? What's wrong?" I let the laugh slip off my face as I saw the serious look engraved upon Al's face. He had led me away from the main stream of the school into the lonely Astronomy Tower and I was perplexed as to why._

"_N-nothing's wrong." He stuttered as he played with his perfect badge. He had only been a perfect for a week now and I couldn't think of anyone better. Our 5__th__ year was going great. And I knew there was something wrong he could lie to me all he wants but I knew him better than that._

"_Albus Severus Potter." I scowled and put my hands on my hips, in my attempt to know I didn't buy it._

"_Kobato..I…"He looked up shyly. His face was flushed an adorable pink. "Do you like me?" He finally spluttered out. _

_I looked at him curiously "Of course I like you, silly." I rolled my eyes as if it was obvious._

"_No…I mean…Kobato…I" Al continued on. I had never seen him like this. He was nervously looking around at everything but me. It made me feel nervous as he blushed and stuttered about. "I love you Kobato." He said with more love than I have ever heard come from him._

"_What…" I gapped in a low whisper. I never expect to hear this from anyone. Anyone but Trigger…in my mind I was set and was going to forever be with Trigger. In this moment my body froze as I stared at Al, everything started going hazy, my body felt heavy. I felt like everything was changing. I never even thought if I loved Al like that or not. I only had eyes for Trigger…until now. It was like. I had a whole world opened up in that small moment. But I couldn't…I couldn't tell Al I loved him back. I felt like I owed Trigger that much. I owed him my whole heart for saving my life. And at that moment I began to hate Trigger for saving me even more than I already did. I wasn't free to love. I felt I needed to love him because he saved me. But he saved me…he also made me a monster, I didn't want to be a Vampire…but he saved me. I should love him right?_

"I'm s-sorry Trigger." I sobbed feeling awful. "I'm just confused…I do, I still love you." He pulled me close as I cried harder.

"You don't have to love me for saving you…just be yourself." He smiled and wiped the tears off my face. I tried to nod but I just kept crying harder and harder. I wanted to love him, he was just so perfect. But the question is who is holding my heart in their hands?

* * *

I didn't get much packing done. I ended up sleeping the rest of the day while Trigger packed for me. And in no time I was running through barrier 9 ¾ with Trigger at my side. I always stared in awe as I saw the scarlet train before my eyes with the smoke billowing up higher and higher, the bustle of students, the hoots of owls, and the squeaks of carts. I knew I was returning home, home to Hogwarts.

"Be good." Trigger leaned down so I could hear him.

"Of course, I always am." I leaned forward and ruffled his hair.

"Stay safe." He added ignoring my playful tone, he stayed serious.

"I can't promise anything there." I giggled.

"There's my little girl." He smiled and leaned in to plant a soft kiss on my cheek. "Goodbye." He whispered softly in my ear before leaving me standing there very much alone, with a blush creeping on my face.

It took me a while before I started to move. I was in a bit of shock as I dragged my luggage on the train and attempted to put them in a compartment above me.

"Need a bit of help?" I jumped and dropped my luggage as I turned to see James and Sirius standing at the door. Both of them had grown a lot during the summer and were even more stunning than the year before. I stood there for a while gaping at their appearance not bothering to answer James' question. "I'm just going to take that as a yes." He smirked and grabbed my luggage without saying a word.

It still took me a while to respond before I realized I was gaping stupidly at them, lost in my thoughts.

"Yeah, sorry" I blushed in a daze. I couldn't believe how stupid I was, of course they would grow and of course they would be handsomer. As for me? Yeah still that little girl.

"I see you haven't grown." Sirius teased and slipped through the door throwing his luggage up next to mine.

"I see your still an obnoxious pom-" I started but James cut me off.

"Girls let's behave, there's enough of me to go around!" James puffed out his chest.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Sirius winked over at James.

"Boys" I rolled my eyes and attempted to leave.

"Hold on, there's something different about you." Sirius grabbed my arm and turned me to face him.

"There's nothing different about me. I'm still short and still in the same cu-" I started.

"No he's right…something is different." James commented. And before I knew it they were checking me out up and down and all over. Lifting up my arms and my legs and twirling me around, also wearing down my patience.

"Stop it." I finally said after a couple of minutes and stares as people were walking by looking for seats.

"I think I figured it out." Sirius said well tapping a figure to his lips.

"What's that?" James asked excitedly.

"She's been kissed!" Sirius gasped and leaned in really close. I started blushing with how close he was, I could feel our breaths mingling together as he inched closer. Finally I couldn't stand it any longer and I pushed his face away from mine.

"You're mental. I have not." I growled "My lips are still virgin lips."

"HA! I got you to finally admit it!" Sirius cheered in triumph as he high fived James.

"Leaving" I scowled. I don't remember them ever being this bad. They must just be excited because it's the first day. I can only hope. Otherwise it's going to be a long semester.

As it turns out, a couple minutes later I ended back up in the compartment as the train had started moving and I couldn't find Lily, Raven, Bri, or Kathleen anywhere. And I nearly crashed into Mulicber, luckily though he didn't notice me, or I'm sure there would have been hell.

"Back for more I see." Sirius grinned and patted the empty spot next to him. I let out a loud sigh and took that seat.

"I can't find Lily or anyone." I said in defeat.

"My poor Lily-flower what if-" James started but Remus chose to ignore him.

"Did you have a good summer, Kobato?" He questioned leaning over the seat to look at me better. He had grown as well. His face was sure sculpting into something very handsome.

"For the most part" I smiled happily "I was at Vampire meetings and balls every day. Usually up to three times a day" I noticed that at the mention of the parties and meetings my body straighten up and I was sitting how I usually would have to sit for them, proper and elegant.

"I bet that was fascinating." Remus smiled warmly at me.

"Yes, but after a while it gets to be exhausting." I waved my hand airily "That and your forgetting I was around this all the time in America."

"D-don't you get scared?" I nearly jumped at the sound of Peter's voice. It was a bit older but still squeaky. I looked over at him. He had not grown at all from the looks of it. He still looked his little chubby watery self. In some way that made me happy that he had not grown.

"Not usually, the worst is on your birthday." I smirked loving a good tease, and I was sure teasing poor Peter. "All the Vampires give their blessing by saying 'It would be my honor' meaning it would be there honor to share their noble blood with you." I threw a couple glances at Peter while I said it. He seemed horrified and scared all at the same time. It was worth it.

"Isn't that a little disgusting?" I look over at Sirius to see him scowling "I mean really?" He glared at me for a moment "You didn't though did you? I mean there was no one there you fancied?" Sirius quickly added in an afterthought. I wasn't sure why, his voice seemed worried, but why? His eyes didn't give away anything. I took it as a friendly gesture. I knew he hated Vampires and hated the thought of a friend being near any.

"Just Fay but I didn't think that would bother you." I smirked playfully. I knew they wouldn't know Fay was a girl, but hey that's half the fun. "I'd be more worried about Raven and Lily if I were you." I laughed.

"What?" James stood up straight looked at me for answers.

"Relax, it was just a pureblood. One of the Ebony's, great family" I smiled playfully knowing it was torturing James because he couldn't hex the living daylights out of this person for stealing _his _precious Lily-flower.

"Just a pureblood…" He muttered.

"I don't know if anything came out of it. I haven't seen them since my birthday party." I added quickly seeing how crestfallen James was taking this. I only meant to tease not upset. I seemed to have forgotten how sensitive he was of Lily being with or around other people.

"So who is this Fay you talked about?" Remus smiled attempting to change the subject so James would forget Lily for even just a moment.

"Fay…well. Why don't you look into that yourself? Very famous Vampire, very young too" I smiled, feeling they could do with a bit of research. "I've got some books that will help you. Trigger seemed it fit to give me some books on Vampires for light reading." I laughed knowing the stack was huge that he gave me.

"I'd love to" Remus responded happily.

Sirius grew bored quickly of Remus and I chatting about books and other Vampire facts I had to offer, so Sirius started the chat of Quiddich and said he might try out for chaser this year along side James. The chat was so animated it carried us all the way to Hogwarts. I ignored it and needless to say was excited once we made it into the carriages.

"There's not enough room for me in there. They are only meant for two on each side." I commented at the carriage with a sigh "I'll go sit with those Ravenclaws over there." I added not minding at all.

"Nonsense, you're small enough." James said with a smirk and without a second thought he picked me up, only to drop me moments later because of a great scream.

"Put her down!" I groaned on the ground and looked up to find Lily and Raven furious. Lily I couldn't tell why she was mad. Was it because James was touching me and not her? Or was it because I was over with them and it seemed like they kidnapping me.

"Are you okay?" Lily held out a hand and pulled me up with a warm smile.

"Fine…" I groaned as they lead me away to their carriage.

"We couldn't find you on the train. We figured you wouldn't be with them so we didn't bother looking." Raven commented as we made our way into the carriage.

"I didn't want to be with them. Every time I tried leaving someone got me to stay." I sighed and sat down in defeat.

"We would have rescued you" Lily patted my hand reassuringly.

"I wouldn't have. James was drooling over you. Asking me all these questions" I laughed remembering his reactions "I may or may not have let it slip that you like one of the Vampires" I shifted my eyes back and forth innocently.

"I d-d-do not!" She stammered while blushing.

"I do, Pandora is a dream! He writes me every other day." Raven squealed and we all shared her excitement as the chat carried onto the great hall.

* * *

The feast was as grand as ever. And the sorting took long as usual but it seemed to us that more kids were sorted into Ravenclaw and Slytherin this year. Speaking of Slyhterin, it was Lily who pointed it out first, but it looked like the guys were itching for a word with me. It made us all wonder who their leader was since Malfoy was out of school. I tried my hardest to ignore it and hoped to god that no one approached me. So far so good, we passed the feast with little to know excitement other then the whole great hall falling silent as James declared his love for Lily once more only to get rejected. Everyone still seems to be waiting for that moment when something other than no comes out.

I couldn't help feeling that at that moment it would be soon because I've been noticing something different in Lily's eyes when James is around. It's not that hate or annoyance, it's something else. And the way she's been talking about it him, it sounds like a habit. I feel I'll need to watch that closely along with Sirius. I have a mission to take care of after all. But as of the first night back, I didn't feel any closer than I did last year because Sirius was already snogging a girl in the common room the first night back. Lily was pleading for James to go away, resulting in all of us girls retreating to the dorm for the evening. I didn't mind, I was exhausted and as it turns out as was everyone else. We had a bit more time for discussing and catching up with Bri and Kathleen, but before I knew it we were all sleep in our beds.

The night seemed to fly by fast and the morning seemed to come even faster and before I knew it we were getting our time tables and trying to figure out what classes we had first.

"First class on Monday looks like DADA with the new professor." Lily looked over the list again "Then a free period till double charms, well for me at least."

"I'm pretty sure we all have the same classes." I commented looking over their list as well.

"I kept Ancient Runes though." Lily stated.

"And I kept Muggle Studies, because I can." Raven laughed. She loved taking Muggle studies, she was a pureblood, but it was just funny to her how Muggles worked. I couldn't blame her, I knew a lot of Muggle stuff but the stories about the class always made me laugh.

"Code 2319" Lily quickly said. I looked up and sure enough the Marauders were approaching us with grins laced upon their faces.

"We came to compare timetables." James walked closely up to Lily and tried to peer at hers. She quickly got up and motioned for us to follow.

"Sorry you must have forgotten we don't like you." Lily smirked feeling pleased with herself as we walked out.

"I STILL LOVE YOU!" I shouted to James reaching out for him as Lily pulled me away.

James stuck his hand out in response "KOBATO! DON'T LEAVE ME FOR HER!" He screamed back. By now the whole great hall was staring at us laughing. It was more than Lily could bare, she stopped pulling on me which resulted in me falling face first to the floor.

"Ow…" I groaned rubbing my nose which was now bleeding.

"Oh no! Kobato? You okay?" Lily quickly ran forward and put a comforting arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah…" I sighed and got out my handkerchief and cleaned my face "I can fix it no worries." I smiled and grabbed my wand out and fixed it right away, before the teachers even made it to me, but the damage was done. I was already feeling dizzy.

"Kobato, you okay?" James finally made it next to and without a response pulled me up off the ground. But that didn't help. I was dizzy enough that the minute he let go I fell back down.

"Sorry, lost my balance, you got me up to quickly." I lied. This time Sirius threw an arm out and helped me up slowly. "Thanks" I smiled warmly. "Let's just go to class, we made too big of a scene." I added quickly wanting to go.

"Just you, doll." Sirius laughed and escorted me out with Lily, James, Raven, Remus, and Peter following closely behind. "What class do you have first?" He asked to make sure he wasn't just heading to DADA for no reason.

I didn't respond I was clinging onto Sirius more than I cared to. I looked over at Lily who was fuming. I couldn't tell why but I would assume it was because James was standing close by her.

"Why don't you guys go ahead, I'll meet you there" I smiled letting go of Sirius.

"You sure? I'll come with you." Lily quickly responded trying to escape James. I was beginning to feel the need to take back my statement about Lily maybe moving a bit to like James. Who knows with her?

"It's fine really" I nodded reassuringly and tried my best not to cough.

"See you in class!" Raven happily waved and ushered Lily away. James soon followed, then Peter, then Remus, leaving me with Sirius.

"You should…"I started but my chest got the best of me and soon I was coughing uncontrollably.

"I'll stay with you. You weren't planning on going to class were you?" He questioned putting a gentle arm on my shoulder.

"I am going to class. I just need…a break." I smiled weakly as I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand.

"I've got all the time in the world." He stretched out and leaned against the wall. I on the other hand took a seat on the floor as we watched students pass us with surprised looks on their face to see me with Sirius. Apparently us fighting is still the norm. Us getting along is not what they expect.

"You think the new DADA teacher would care if we were late?" I questioned just remembering we no longer had Professor Heartwig.

Sirius thought for a moment "Not sure…she seems like a softy." He smirked playfully at a group of girls who were passing.

"Yeah she does" I agreed watching as he purposely shifted his body to show off how attractive he is to those girls "Those girls are too young." I added as he winked at one of them.

"Their fourth years" He rolled his eyes "I can't deny people a piece of this" He smirked over at me to show off his body.

"Ugh." I groaned and got up the best I could and attempted to walk fast enough so he wouldn't catch up.

"Slow it down there." He laughed coming up behind me to support me. "Most girls don't run away from me." He added holding my arm with a grin.

"Yeah yeah yeah" I coughed "And I'm not most girls."

"Yeah yeah yeah" He mirrored my attitude perfectly "Can you walk a little faster, we are going to be late."

I snorted "Like you care."

"I do care. So if you would excuse me" Sirius walked in front of me and blocked my view. He wore a curious expression and before I knew it I was in his arms bridal style and being carried off to DADA. Luckily most of the students were already in class to save me from the embarrassment.

"SIRIUS BLACK THIS IS NOT OKAY!" I screamed and protested. But there was no way I could get out of this. Not with what little energy I had left. "Pleaaase" I pleaded.

"No can do." He let out his bark laugh and kept on walking. It was starting to become painful. Not only was I blushing but I was fuming.

The minute we made it in the class room I screamed even more "I HATE YOU SIRIUS BLACK!" I screamed as he set me down. I knew our new Professor was already in there and I knew class was just about to start but I didn't care that was not called for. He could have left without me. He could have made it to class and not cared about me. There was no need to humiliate me like that.

"Really? You say that all the time." He smirked. I noticed his hand was twitching for his wand.

I quickly went for mine. It wasn't in the right spot. Oh god, I switched my wand and my Vampire Gun. I would do that.

I kept my face focused and didn't let my worry etch upon my face. "Words mean nothing without actions behind them." I scowled and pulled my gun out. Lazily I pointed my gun at him knowing it wouldn't faze him at all. I wasn't worried about his reaction at all. I just wanted to get my point across before I passed out. I was dizzy and tired and coughing more blood.

"We both know that won't work on me. I'm not a Vampire." He pulled out his wand and pointed it at me. I knew we were both wondering the same thing. How long would this be permitted before the DADA Professor stops us?

"How do you know? I've never fired it at you before." I smirked and cocked the gun. Not letting my eyes leave his for even a second.

His face switched for a moment. There was fear, curiosity, and then confidence. "You must have lost it, spending all that time with those monsters."

That made me lose it. Monsters? Who's the monster now? He can run with a werewolf but he finds Vampires to be monsters? Ugh…

I walked forward and held the gun straight to his forehead. I leaned my face close to him so I could whisper for only him to hear "Werewolves are okay with you but not Vampires?" I sneered.

"Shut up!" He shouted and pushed me away. The impact made me lose grip and I fired my gun. I watched as it went straight through Sirius chest with a loud scream. Right where the bullet hit I watched as the usual pink smoke flew out and around Sirius. He stared at me in fear as what I knew to be an ice cold sensation filled his body. I almost felt bad for him, but I knew it didn't hurt one bit. It's supposed to freeze any trace of Vampire blood in the area it hit, but Sirius didn't have any, so it just felt like cold water tingly through his body.

"What the bloody h-" Sirius started but was cut off by a much more mature, elegant, and beautiful voice then his.

"That's enough you two." I turned to see our DADA Professor hovering behind me holding out a hand to help me up. "Nightray what was the meaning of this?"

I stared at her for a moment before I grabbed her hand. "Vaveriuz?" I questioned gasping at her.

"The one and only" She smirked playfully she held her fist up in the air and I bumped it happily.

No wonder Sirius wanted to get to class early. She was beautiful as beautiful gets, with her long brown hair, adorable face, and perfect figure. How could I have missed it? I know that during the feast I hadn't paid close enough attention at all who our DADA Professor was. But now I wonder how I didn't even notice that it was Echo Vaveriuz. She was just like me, in the sense that she had Vampire Reflex. Her savior was Vincent Vaveriuz, from the second oldest pureblood family in Europe. She was a brilliant witch from what I remember during the parties over the summer, but she was also refusing to be a Vampire as far as I knew.

"Nocturne of Love number 9?" She questioned pointing to my gun.

"Of course" I smirked. "And sorry, I mixed my wand and my gun up. Won't happen again _Professor"_ I tried not to laugh. It was hard for me to accept her as a teacher. She was…well, my idle. Any party we went to and she was at, I was amazed at how she never flinched around any Vampire and how calm and beautiful she was.

"I should think not." She smiled and turned over to Sirius who still somehow had his composer even though he was sitting on the floor. "Mr. Black, do we need to take you to the hospital wing?" She questioned though she had to have known he wouldn't be hurt at all.

"I think so…would you take me Professor." He smiled his most charming smile hoping for her to at least help him up. He fancied her because she was young, beautiful, and everything else a shallow guy like him could want.

"Get up, the gun Nightray used would merely only make you cold. You are fine Mr. Black." She said angrily but still had her voice in check. She smiled to me, flipped her long hair towards Sirius, and turned around to walk back to the board. "Oh and stop using that smile it won't work on me." She added in an afterthought.

Everyone seemed to blink and gap at what just happened. Then before I knew it we were all laughing hard at what had just happened. No one had ever seen Sirius get treated that way. This was going to be a good semester, especially by the angered look on Sirius' face.


	16. Chapter 16: Pitiful Girl

**Chapter 16: I find your gaze funny because you see me as a pitiful girl**

**A/N: Thanks again for the reviews from Strange Girl221 and the review from I-Fax-Not. And lets not forget those of you who added this story to your favorites and so on and so forth. To Answer I-Fax-Not's question...well I can't. You'll have to read to see if Kobato comes a Vampire or not. I know the suspension must be killing you, because I myself haven't even decided yet, so it's killing me too. Bahahahaha. Well enjoy, this was a fun chapter. The next chapter is important character information so this leads into that :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

* * *

**

I found the next couple of weeks very enjoyable. Everyone seemed to love Professor Vaveriuz, except Sirius who had grown to hate her because she continued to reject him and see through everything. She broke him down in a way I never could, even though I'd been saying the same thing for a good year now, but for some odd reason her words actually hurt him.

I spent every dinner in her office and we would talk and eat dinner just like any Vampire event we would share during the summer. It made me feel relaxed and at home. Somehow it was also keeping me healthy. I wasn't having any waves of sickness whatsoever. It made me feel relieved that everything was going so well this school year. Well, minus my mission. Sirius was still snogging every girl possible. He was at least on his 6th girl from what I recall. I think in a way he is just so defeated that his charm didn't work he wants to believe he still has it.

Tonight I was choosing to eat dinner with Lily and Raven since Lily had experienced a horrible Charms class. See James found it fit make the bubbles we were supposed to produce from our wands spell out "Lily I love you, will you go out with me". She was upset because well, it was James and he embarrassed her.

"I can't believe him! Really when will he grow up" She growled for the 100th time, still throwing glares over at James who was pull pranks on Slyhterin's by making flowers grow out of their hair.

"I thought it was romantic…" I muttered. But it was the wrong thing to say.

"Oh sure take _his _side." She glared over at me.

"I wasn't taking his side! I just…your…I" I didn't want to be selfish so I decided not to say anything.

"Oh no…what's wrong Kobato?" Lily noticed right away. She was such a great friend. I could never hide anything from her, no matter what the situation.

"I was asked out once and I regretted not being brave enough to say yes." I felt tears swell in my eyes. It was more then I could handle. I quickly got up and walked away abandoning my dinner.

"_Kobato…please say something." I looked up at Al as he pleaded for an answer, for anything from me. His face was upset and fearful that I would say no. I really wanted to say yes. But how? I was the one afraid now as I slowly backed away from him._

"_Al…I…you…" It was my turn to shutter. I couldn't take it anymore. I ran far away from him. _

"_KOBATO!" I heard him plead as I kept running. I didn't look back. Not once. _

Finally I made it to my room where I planted myself on my bed to sob into my pillow. I remembered that day. And I remembered afterwards how Al acted like nothing happened. But I couldn't do that. Every moment of everyday my heart was screaming, screaming to say I love you too Al. But I couldn't. I planned on telling him. I did…the night I was summoned to McGonagall's office I was going to tell him. The minute I got back I was going to waltz up and let him know. But I was never able too. And it's almost been a year without seeing him and my heart still yearns for him.

I never got to say what I wanted to say.

I laid there letting the tears overwhelm me, but it needed to be done. I needed to move on. I needed to let go. I was here for a reason. So one by one, tear by tear, I let go. I let go so I could do my mission. I let go so I could save people. So I could save Sirius. Even if I didn't care for Sirius that much, I let go. Sirius was still my friend and he deserved at least that much.

Several hours later I heard shifting near my bed and then a soft whisper "Kobato?"

"Lily?" I quickly wiped my eyes and sat up.

Lily was standing right in front of me with a concern look on her face "I'm sorry…I di-"

I quickly cut her off "It's not your fault. I just…I left my home so quickly I feel like there's so much regret left behind. But…I need to be brave right? I have to keep moving forward." I smiled as Lily threw her arms around me in a tight hug.

"I wouldn't mind him so much if he wouldn't be…" She thought for a moment.

"Such an arrogant pigheaded toe-rag" We both said in unison, and then let out a laugh.

"Same with Sirius" I laughed. "Well at least James only has eyes for you and doesn't sleep with everything that walks, has legs, and long hair."

"Are you implying you would date Sirius Black?" Lily's eyes widened as she teased me.

My eyes widened as well "God no! Oh goodness, no no no!" I shook my head in fear. Lily started laughing. In response to her laughing I grabbed my teddy bear I had gotten from my birthday and started beating her with it. "Lily your sooo mean!" I cried out.

"Sorry…sorry! Hey! I said I'm sorry!" She laughed as we started running for the door.

"I don't forgive you! That was mean!" I shouted as we continued down the staircase to the common room.

"It's not my fault you're in love with Sirius Black!" She teased, loudly I might add.

I waved my teddy bear in the air at her as the whole common room was curiously looking on"I'm not the one who admit to thinking-" She cut me off with a full on tackle. She knew I was about to shout that she thinks James would be okay…but just okay.

Her tackling me shut me up right away. I landed on the ground with a deep thud. It was meant to be playful, but it could never be playful with me. It had to be gentle. Everything did, because before I knew it I was coughing blood everywhere as I clung to my teddy bear in attempt to hold myself together.

"Oh god…Kobato! No, I keep hurting you!" Lily cried and tried to hold me tightly. "Kobato!" She started crying and shaking.

"It's…okay" I gasped "Just…medicine go" I pleaded. Lily was too broken to leave, but Raven saw and nodded right away to head up the stairs as people gathered around.

"Do we need to get Madam Pomfrey?" James came out of nowhere and sat down next to Lily who was clinging to a shaking, coughing, little me.

"No" I coughed more blood. Sirius came and reached in my pocket for my handkerchief and wiped any blood up as it came. I had nothing to say to him, I was getting used to him doing that to me.

We all sat there grouped, Sirius wiped my blood several times as I coughed more and more. We waited and waited for a length of time, or so it seemed to me.

Finally Raven came with my box of medicine. She didn't know which one to give me so she gave me the whole box. I fumbled around with the vials looking for the right one to no avail, seeing as I kept dropping them and shattering a couple on the floor.

"I got it." Remus sat down and grabbed the box from me gently. He immediately found the right one with Trigger's blood in it. He opened it right away and without waiting for me to respond or anything he inched forward to tip it in my mouth. I didn't reject it one bit. I knew it would help.

It took a couple moments for it to kick in. Then my coughing was slowing down a bit and slowly I wasn't shaking anymore.

"Thanks" I blushed to Remus who was already handing the next vial to me. He knew what to do and I was glad. I took a sip of the potion really quick, then handed it back. "I should go to the hospital wing now." I said in a weak voice. The damage was done. I was drained.

"I'll take you." Lily quickly said feeling awful. She was crying, she felt so bad, but we both knew if she tackled Raven none of this would have ever happened. I had a hard time looking at Lily. I didn't blame her at all, if it was anyone else they'd be fine, but it was me. And here she was crying with my blood on her feeling like a bad person even though it wasn't her fault.

"Lily-flower, I got it, think of this as an apology." James smiled over at Lily. She stared at him in amazement and didn't say anything as James picked me up on his back and carried a weary me out of the common room.

I was glad for once it was just James and I together. I'm not used to it being James and I anymore, it's usually someone else with him.

"Doing alright?" He asked softly as he walked on through the castle.

"Yes thank you." I just barely whispered. My voice was cracked and hoarse. I sounded exhausted. I felt even worse on the inside. This was all my fault. My fault for being so weak…it's my fault I can't have fun and play. I have to be good and do what I'm told. "Trigger's not going to be happy." I coughed out.

"It was an accident." James stated as he pulled my legs tighter around his waist "Anyone else this wouldn't have happened." He said what I had been thinking all along. I just hated to admit it was true. It was like admitting I have a great weakness.

There was a bit of a silence for a while. I didn't want to say anything. I was tired and upset with myself. What was there to say?

James couldn't stand the silence though, that I knew. "Kobato? Can you lighten up and not fight with Sirius so much?"

The question took me by surprise but I smiled none the less before I rested my head down on James' back. "We aren't just going to be friends right away you know. I'm trying my best. I like him as a friend. But don't tell him that." I whispered earning a laugh from James.

"Hard to do mate, Lily just told the whole common room you love Sirius Black." He carried on laughing. I smiled and closed my eyes and felt the rhythm of his laughs as I held him tighter.

"I've never really hated him…do you remember the night I disappeared and you found me in Hogsmeade?" I questioned recalling that snowing cold night.

There was a long silence before James responded. "Yes" was all he said.

"I told you then that I wanted to help Sirius…he is just lost and needs someone." I reflected softly "I want to try and be that someone. For him…not for me."

James once again stayed silence for a long time. "You must have dreamed that…you never told me anything." He said in what seemed like a truthful voice.

I let out a soft laughed. "That's okay…now you know my secret." I smiled and poked his chest. "Keep it shut or I'll kill you." I said in the most serious voice I could produce at the current moment.

"I don't know, you and Sirius together…it's just so cute!" He squealed acting like a mother hen.

"Shut it" I scowled in a tiny voice. James just laughed but shut abruptly.

"Mr. Potter you know better than PDA. Put the girl down." James didn't budge at McGonagall's harsh voice. I was glad. I knew the minute he put me down I'd probably collapse.

"Professor McGonagall, you have my word this isn't PDA." He responded coolly. "Besides would I carry anyone other than Lily if it wasn't an emergency?" He stated.

"Professor we are just heading to the hospital wing. We're almost there. You can dock points after that." I said in the loudest voice I could, which was just over a whisper. The force of energy made me cough.

"Miss Nightray?" McGonagall quickly questioned before carrying on "What are you standing there for Mr. Potter hurry up to the hospital wing. I'll come with if you don't mind." She quickly said. James started moving as she commanded and they walked side by side. "Anyone mind telling me what happened?" She questioned after a bit of silence.

"It was an accident." James responded quickly without a second of thought. "Lily tackled her and well…it went wrong. If Raven hadn't of gotten her Medicine and if Remus hadn't known which ones to give her, Kobato might be doing much worse." He said as if I wasn't there. I didn't mind. I was exhausted and I didn't want to talk at all.

"Well 10 points for each of them for their fast thinking." I heard McGonagall say proudly. But her voice was fading out. I was losing this battle. Slowly I let myself drift off to sleep.

* * *

I didn't wake up till the next day. The sun was peeking through the windows and I could hear Madam Pomfrey bustling around in her office getting ready for the day. I stretched with a smile on my face and sat up opening my eyes to a new day.

"You're awake." I jumped at the sound of the voice. Slowly I turned my head to see Trigger sitting in a chair holding a book just on the side of my bed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. How you feeling?" He questioned reaching a gentle hand out for my arm. I blushed at the touch of it.

"Just tired" I said truthfully.

"To be expected. According to James' you had a nasty spell" He said solemnly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I teased as I threw myself back down on the bed.

"Behave" He scolded. He hated it when I teased him like that, he was always so serious.

"Yes mother." I carried on teasing. He attempted not to roll his eyes at me instead he leaned forward and ruffled my hair.

"I thought I told you to be a good girl?" He teased right back. Usually he never teased me, he was in a good mood today than.

"I tried that once, it didn't work out." I laughed feeling right at home, even if I was in the hospital wing. "Truth?" I said still wanting to tease him.

"Truth" He responded and leaned forward waiting for my answer.

"I missed you sooo much! It's been 3 weeks since I've seen you. I had to do something to get your attention!" I said dramatically.

Trigger sat there shaking his head wearing the most playful smirk I had seen him wear in years. "You're the biggest liar in the who-" His words were cut off.

"Ah Miss Nightray, you are awake!" Madam Pomfrey finally heard us chatting and busted right in. "Good good good." She smiled pulling out a tray of medicine and a tray of food. She floated both of them ahead of her to my side. I groaned at the sight of the medicine she set down at the table, but at least smiled at the sight of the breakfast. "You know the drill. Once you are done with your pills come get me." She smiled warmly. I had been in here long enough to know the routine her and I had set up though.

"Do you want me to stay?" Trigger asked with a bit of hope shinning in his eyes.

"Of course" I smiled warmly knowing all my friends wouldn't come to visit till lunch time. That and I will admit it's nice having Trigger here. Like I said, I hadn't seen him in three weeks and this weekend would be an exciting one. It was Quidditch tryouts and by the looks of it Sirius might actually go through with trying out for his best mate. Since James was Quidditch captain and all. I actually wanted to try out myself but I knew I wouldn't be allowed too.

"You're thinking hard about something." Trigger noted as he watched me eat my sliced apples.

"And?" I questioned not taking an eye off my food as I ate on.

"You want to ask me something" He stated knowing me so well. I set my fork down and turned to look at him. I always wondered sometimes if he had mind reading powers. I knew he didn't because that's something I would have gotten as well, most likely. It's the most easily transferred power for victims with Vampire reflex. I knew Trigger had some amazing powers, but none of mind reading.

"Yes, but you're going to say no." I laughed knowing the outcome. He always hated how I never said things just because I knew he'd say no.

"Try me, I'm feeling nice." He laughed figuring he would say no as well.

"Alright…here goes" I took a deep breath and with my best winning smile I looked over at him "Can I try out for Qudditch on Saturday?" I cringed after I said it. I could almost feel him looking at me like I was stupid and I expect a long lecture to follow.

"I suppose so" He responded with.

"I know it was stup-" I started but cut myself off out of surprise. "Wait what" I gapped over at him letting my mouth hang open freely before I shook myself to stare at him in a more composed manner.

"Go ahead and try out. I feel safe knowing James, Sirius, and that Remus fellow will be there watching over you. I'll talk to Vaveriuz as well." I was still blinking in confusion at him, his words were not clicking in my head at all no matter how sweetly and direct he said them to me.

I pointed to him with my index finger and kept staring "I'm going to Owl St. Mungos, looks like someone got out of the mental ward." I said still disbelievingly at him.

"I take it back then, no tryouts for you." He said with a sly smirk.

"I…what that's not fair" I pouted.

"Eat up" He said trying not laugh.

I was released from the hospital wing that evening because Professor Vaveriuz reassured Madam Pomfrey that I was okay. I had a lovely dinner in her office once again but this time with Trigger and Vaveriuz. We all had a great time talking, but slowly the conversation shifted to Voldemort. Apparently more and more Vampires were breaking the laws in place and the council had been up in arms and deciding to take action by calling Vampire Hunters to hunt down the ones breaking the laws and siding with Voldemort. So far it wasn't going so well and more and more Vampires were purposely creating mutants. Which is breaking the law in more ways than one, so things were very tense in the Vampire world as well as the Wizarding…sadly enough I knew the Wizarding world was going downhill as well. It wasn't good. More and more deaths and more and more muggle killings and torturing…something I never thought I'd live through.

Needless to say by the time I left the Vaveriuz' office I was heartbroken to hear all this. Trigger noticed this right away and offered to escort me to the Gryffindor common room. I wouldn't have any of that so instead I settle for a half way point. We walked there in silence hand in hand because he felt I was still too weak to fully walk on my own.

"This is good enough" I smiled after we crept into a short cut. "Can you find your way back?" I questioned knowing he had an excellent memory. He'd have no problem getting back at all.

"I'll be fine, love" He smiled and rested his hand on my cheek "It's you I'm worried about." He said softly as he leaned in closer to me.

I swallowed hard "I promise I'll be okay." I backed away a little bit, pinning myself to the wall.

"I get so scared every time I find out you get hurt…I wish…"He didn't finish his thought. I knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to tell me he wishes he could take it all way. He wishes he could make me stronger so the worry would be off of him.

"I'm sorry" was all I found to respond with. He smiled warmly at me before leaning in even closer. I felt his cool breath trace along my face. The scent and feel of him being this close was making my knees weak. I was having a hard time staying up.

"I love you Kobato Cross." It was the first time I heard my real last name in ages. I'm not sure what caught me off guard more the way he said I love you or the fact that he used my last name. I stared at him for a moment before closing my eyes knowing what was coming. I felt his breath get closer and his cold body lean in farther. Finally our lips met in such a gentle manner. It was soft and sweet, but I was expecting more feeling in it. Slowly we pulled our lips away at a loud clatter that came from the end of the hallway.

"Let's just go another way" I heard a girl whined. I looked past Trigger at two figures at the end of the hallway. One was a girl pulling on a figure who looked like Sirius but I couldn't tell.

"You know what I changed my mind." Sirius said quickly and threw the girl off. Yeah it was Sirius.

"But Sirius…" The girl whined trying to cling back to him.

"Not now…" He pushed the girl back and turned towards Trigger and us "Trigger is that you?" He asked with a bit of distaste in his voice.

Trigger didn't miss a beat "Mr. Black?" He questioned through the dimly lit hallway and walked forward to the couple ahead of us. And just like that my moment with him was lost, just as quick as it came. But my mind and heart was still racing as I reached forward to touch my lips. They were still a little cold from his kiss but I felt warm. No, I didn't feel that spark you usually feel but I felt something. What was that emotion?

Focus. I told myself. I hadn't even noticed I slide down the ground. I looked over at Trigger and Sirius who were talking animatedly while the girl drooled over Trigger, forgetting her passion and lust for Sirius in an instant.

I zoned back out. I wanted to feel something. I did, I loved Trigger. I knew I loved him. But why? Why did I love him? My mind replayed everything over and over again as it was searching for something. I sat there for minutes unbothered. Thinking of any reason why, but my mind was going back to Al yelling for me to come and then to what just happened.

"Kobato, love" I snapped my thought back to reality to see Trigger kneeling down with a concern look on his face. "You okay?" He smiled and brushed some strands of hair out of my face.

"Just a little weak" I responded now noticing Sirius was standing close by. The girl must have stormed off somewhere.

"I figured" He smiled and held me up as gently as he could "I need to get going. Is it okay if I leave you with Black here?" He titled his head over to Sirius who was standing there with a grin on his face as he lazily put his hands in his pockets.

"Don't worry about me." I forced out a smile. Trigger knew it too. He smiled and leaned in and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead before walking away.

I watch him go for a moment leaving me there with Sirius and my thoughts…when something inside of me was pleading, pleading for him to come back.

"Trigger" I said softly "Trigger wait" I ran forward a bit before noticing how dizzy I was. He stopped though he heard my words and my footsteps.

"What is it?" He questioned looking concerned as he retraced his steps so he was closer to me.

I looked at him for a moment. I hated to admit this in front of Sirius, but I didn't want any regrets. I threw my arms around his waist and hugged him tightly. "I love you too Trigger." I said in a soft whisper. I looked up at him to see him smiling down at me seeming to be proud of me.

"Go get some rest." He smiled wearily and patted my head. I knew he appreciated my words, he just knew how to be polite to other people.

I smiled and nodded and watched him turn to leave.

"What was that all about?" Sirius asked coming up next to me after a couple minutes of silence.

"Me not wanting anymore regrets." I responded truthfully.

"If that's the case you better get ready." He grinned and looked down at me.

"Ready for what?" I raised an eyebrow not getting what he was trying to say.

He thought for a moment like he thought better then saying it but he said it anyways "To snog me of course, I wouldn't want you regretting that." He teased while grabbing my chin and tilting it up to look at him in the eyes.

"I think you're confused." I smirked and pulled his hand away from my chin.

He looked at me for second then spoke "What do you mean?"

"You'll be the one regretting that you never snogged me" I teased and walked away.

"Dream on" He laughed and followed by my side.

"Is James in the common room?" I asked attempting to change the subject.

"No he's in the dorms with Peter and Remus." He stated looking at me with curiosity "Why?"

"I need to talk to him, it's something serious." I paused for a moment on the stairs feeling a bit faint. Sirius noticed right away and grabbed my arm to help me up.

"You can tell me, we are friends you know." He laughed though I could tell he felt a little left out by the tone of his voice.

I let a smirk play on my face as I turned to him "Well you can wait patiently because I planned on telling you and James together."

Sirius Snorted "You could tell me first, you know." He asked hopefully.

"No it's better this way" I smiled knowing it was killing him. He was so curious in my life it amazed me at time.

"But-" He started and I didn't let him finish.

"But nothing, you always get what you want. And I plan to change that." I responded as curtly as I could. He stood there in shock for a moment, I ignored it and walked on, letting go of his hand as we approached the Fat Lady. "Banshee" I said the password and crawled through not waiting for Sirius to follow behind me. I greeted a couple of people who were glad to see me well and doing better before I darted up the stairs to the boys dorms.

"Jaaames" I called out as I made my way to their door. It was closed and I didn't want to just bust in. Sirius didn't wait for a respond he just walked based me and opened the door without a care in the world.

"Sirius? What are you doing back?" James looked up happily but still confused at his best mate coming through the dorm, paying no attention to me at first. "Wait a moment" James paused and looked at me standing in the dorm frame. "She wasn't your snog date, you two didn't-" I cut him off.

"Shut up before I pull a Lily and heck you all the way to Beauxatons" I threaten while pointing my wand at him.

"Relax" James said while trying not to laugh.

"It was I who found her snogging." Sirius said in a voice that…well I couldn't tell what emotion it was. And his body language was hard to read as well. It made me feel uneasy though to the point where I had to look away from him.

"I was not snogging Trig." I said defensively, though my face was turning bright red giving me away. I was hoping and praying Remus would come to my aid. I wasn't ready to talk about this at all. I wasn't even sure it really happened. It was all so sudden. And…well I didn't even know my emotions. I was so unsure of how to feel about it all.

"Ko…you there Ko-ba-to" Sirius stood in front of me waving a hand in front of my face.

"Wah?…oh, yeah sorry." I shook my head and walked over to where the boys were pouring over what looked like some map. "I'm still a little bit tired from what happened."

"To be expect" Remus smiled warmly over at me.

Sirius took a seat angrily next to me "So what did you need to tell James?" Sirius questioned trying to push aside his irritation.

"You have something to tell me? I do hope it's about Lily" James looked at me optimistically.

"No sorry, I can't say it is." I sighed in attempt to make him feel better.

"Hmmm, then what could it be about?" James wonder while packing up the map as we all sat in a little circle around the floor.

"Well…ummmm" I glanced to my right feeling a little nervous. "I…well you can't say no first off. No matter what it is, you cannot say no." I said firmly letting James know where I stood.

"As long as you're not asking me out, I'm sure anything you say I'll agree too." James smiled sheepishly. I knew his thoughts were lost on Lily for a bit before he looked back at me.

"I dunno…" I said skeptically "Trigger said yes, so you really can't say no." I added trying to change my situation for the better.

"Oh if the great Pureblood Nightray says it, it must be good." Sirius seethed.

I stood up and pointed my wand at Sirius "What the heck is your problem? Seriously, can't you be nice for one flipping second of your life?" I glared at him with as much anger as I could muster. He didn't flinch under my harsh gaze rather he leaned back lazily.

"Nothing I just don't trust him." He said flatly. I still glared at him. Peter was the only one who moved, though I think he was afraid of my aim, which he really shouldn't be.

"Look Sirius, I trust him and that should be good enough for you." I crossed my arms and tapped my foot out of impatience. "I thought we were friends?"

He stood up and easily towered over me as he pulled my wand out of my hands "Have you seen the way he looks at you, like he wants to bite you?" He hissed, glaring down at me.

I lost it there. I felt my fist, that I didn't even know I raised, collided with his cheek. "He doesn't want to bite me. You know nothing of Vampire etiquette. He would _never _bite me, unless I wanted it." He stared at me for a moment then sat back down as if nothing happened.

"I'm still waiting. What's the big thing you wanted to tell us, _Princess_." Sirius stared with anger still in his eyes but easiness in his voice.

"Right" I said quickly gaining my composure quickly as I noticed a bruise started to form on Sirius' cheek. "James" I turned happily to him with a big smile. James stood up and grabbed my hand like we were in a cheesy movie and he was about to propose.

"Kobato" He smiled his cheesiest smile.

I took a deep sigh. "Since you are the Quidditch Commander, I would like to inform you I am trying out for Seeker." There was this deathly silence that filled the room as I swore crickets were mocking me, even if it was too cold for them.

"You what…?" James stared at me blinking rapidly as if I wasn't really here and he was imaging things. His voice was soft and merely a whisper, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"I'm going to try out for Seeker, since that's one of the open spots." I smiled proudly as more silence filled the room and everyone gawked at me.

Finally Remus broke the silence "Do you really think that's wise given…your health?" He said softly as if afraid to let my rage return to the surface.

"Seeker's the safest position as long as I don't get hit by a bludger." I smiled still feeling hopeful. I mean James really couldn't say no, could he? Or refuse to let me on the team if I am the best…I mean would he?

"No" James and Sirius both spluttered out at the same time. I turned to look between the both of them with an anger look imprinted upon my face.

"Give me reasons why not. I'm small enough, I can handle my own, I'm a great flier, I've go-" James cut me off after throwing my hands out of his.

"You are also sick! You can't even get tackled in a playful manner without nearly dying." His voice was raised he was yelling at me and pointing a finger harshly at me. I felt tears swell up in my eyes "What makes you think for one moment you could play Quidditch?" He questioned finishing up furiously.

"What makes you think I don't have feelings? What makes you…you" I started to sob now "you think that I don't want to try and make it on my own? I'm just a little girl…I want to be a big girl too." I was crying really hard now as I let my body fall to the ground. I didn't look up as someone's arm draped around me. I kept looking in my hands feeling upset and useless. But from the smell, it seemed to be Sirius attempting to comfort me. But I didn't want physical contact. I wanted to be like everyone else!

"I say give her a chance." I pulled my hands away from my face as we all turned to gap at Peter who squeaked a sweet response.

"What?" Remus, Sirius, and James all glared at him letting their anger show.

"She has a point she's tiny enough. And…and" He was being as brave as he could trying to face his friends who were apposing this idea "Padfoot you said you were trying out for beater, you could keep her safe."

Sirius looked at him "Yeah but I didn't…I mean" There was a long silence which I was hopeful I could just maybe win this argument.

"Kobato…is there a cure for this disease you have?" James asked hopefully.

I turned to Remus, since I knew he was the only one in this room who knew what I had and then I hung my head in shame.

"There is, but I…I…" I stopped feeling fresh tears making their way down my already wet cheeks "I'd hate myself and" I paused looking at Sirius before running away from them sobbing. I stopped though just before I made it to the door "I'm not as helpless as _you_ think. So stop pitying me." I screamed and left.


	17. Chapter 17: Contradiction

**Chapter 17: Who can protect you from this kind of contradiction?**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews from all you usual reviewers. I think you're my favorite :P. In any case, the chapters will be slowing down, I'm not on spring break anymore. But I'll keep up as best I can. So enjoy! And what's that I hear? Sirius and Kobato might be falling in love? Who decides these things? Preposterous! (I hope that wasn't a spoiler…I thought it was a given)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

* * *

I was furious with James, Sirius, and Remus for the next couple of days. And I wouldn't tell anyone why, but everyone seemed to know, especially by Thursday morning. James came to say an apology to me and I hexed him half way across the great hall earning myself a detention for the evening with Professor McGonagall, but lucky for me Professor Vaveriuz was there and insisted she needed help cleaning some tanks for her third years. So McGonagall told Vaveriuz that I could serve detention with her then. I did just that I 'served' detention. Moreover she tried to feel out my emotions and got me to spill that James wouldn't let me try out for Qudditch practice because I was too 'weak'. She found that preposterous, so she stormed off to McGonagall's office and told her why I hexed James in the first place. This was too my advantage because James had to agree to let me at least tryout with the condition that Professor Vaveriuz had to be there at tryouts.

The news spread quickly and soon many people were buzzing about the Gryffindor Qudditch tryouts just for the fact that Vaveriuz would be there and I would be trying out. Frail little me…yeah, I was going to prove I wasn't frail at all. I was a strong girl and a great flier. I had a lot to prove.

So needless to say, when Saturday morning rolled around I was feeling a teensy weensy bit nervous. Just a teensy…

"You sure you are really trying out and these rumors aren't just some kind of…well rumor." Lily asked for the 100th time that morning as I shifted my food around on my plate for the 100th time as well.

"Vaguely sure" I said not bothering to look up.

"She'll do fine! I'd love to be on a team with you!" Raven clapped a happy hand on my shoulder. I smiled weakly.

"I probably won't make it James is furious at me still." I stated throwing a quick glance at him. He was chatting with his crew and doing a great job ignoring Sirius' fangirls who were swooning right and left from Sirius being in Qudditch attire.

"I'll use my charm if he doesn't let you." Lily glared at him with much distaste "There's another rumor going around that he likes me." We all laughed.

"Imagine that!" Raven laughed.

"I know, right?" Lily laughed before catching why I had stopped laughing. "Arrogant little…"I just barely heard Lily mumble as we all turned to watch James and Sirius approach us. They didn't bother to sit down with us like they usually did rather they stood behind me with weary smiles.

"I'm Captain of this…no Commander of the best Qudditch team. And well…if you do the best your on the team. I can't stop you." James sighed "But…it's hard. As your friend I want you to kick some butt, but I also don't want you to do well because I want you to be safe."

"I'll be fine and just make sure there's a substitute for me and make sure they are just as good as me." I smirked holding my fist out in the air. James smirked as well and bumped my fist happily.

"Kobato?" Sirius now finally spoke. He was standing there with this pitying look but also he looked worried for me.

"Sirius?" I teased mirroring his voice. He ignored it. We played this game to often.

"Do whatever you need to…never mind" He gave up on his words and walked away, James following in his wake.

"What was that all about? Not James, Sirius?" Raven looked at Sirius' figure that was walking away rapidly.

"Your guess is as good as mine." I said with a puzzled looked laced upon my face. I turned to Lily who seemed to understand something but she said nothing.

"Let's just get going." Raven smiled while pulling me up.

"I'll be watching" Lily waved as we walked away, only adding to my nervous.

"Can I back away now?" I asked feeling nervous. Raven was about to answer but she was cut off.

"I would think not…after you made me leave a day of grading to watch you try out." Vaveriuz laughed and came up behind us wearing her best grin. "And by the way we need to talk." She said in a serious voice now as she looked down at me, I think I knew what it was about too. She could read me like a book.

"After tryouts I'm guessing?" I questioned trying not to sigh. This wasn't what I wanted to talk about. According to all my friends I've been in this weird mood. No one could really put their finger on it. I was upset and I spent half the time not being there. I would disappear and I even skipped classes saying I was 'ill'. But whenever they found me I was just sitting on the floor in the dorm thinking.

"It would have been sooner, but you've been avoiding the world." Vaveriuz glared.

"Echo Vaveriuz-"I started to retort but she cut me off.

"Don't start you can't be this depressed little girl forever…you want to-" It was my turn to cut her off.

"I don't want to hear this now. Save it." I snapped. It was the first time I ever snapped at her. She was really pushing my buttons.

Raven who didn't like fighting immediately put her arm around me to change the subject "We should spilt up now, come on Kobato." She smiled and steered me towards the changing rooms so we could get to the field. "Have fun watching Professor!" Raven waved happily to Vaveriuz. I half heartily waved as we walked into the room to grab our brooms and then made our way out on the pitch.

When we got there, I had half a mind to just give up. Everyone was spilt into groups already. Sirius, who was trying out for Beater, had the biggest group of all behind him but the group consisted of mainly girls and from the look of it some that weren't even in Gryffindor. I had to hold the urge not to laugh as he curtly nodded to me looking annoyed.

James on the other hand was behind a smaller group of Chasers and then there was two other people lonely standing there, which meant they were there for Seeker. Of course Keeper had the Keeper from last year standing there and two hopeful others (Though our Keeper last year was pretty amazing).

When James saw Raven come over to the Chaser he immediately searched for me and started waving. "I'm glad you didn't chicken out." He said, even if he somewhere deep down inside wanted me too.

"I'm glad you remembered to bring your heart." I angrily said knowing his underlying emotions. My comment earned a snicker from him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you could fly. Let along walk." He teased, I knew he was teasing but it still hurt a bit.

"Is that a challenge?" I backed away from the two trying out for Seeker and walked cockily over to James. He wore a playful smirk on his face as I approached him a bit more while clinging onto my broom.

"I think it is" Sirius turned to me with his smirk then turned to James. "Let see what she's got, mate."

Without warning, other than James smirking face, James took one glance at me before throwing this tiny ball as far as he could. I didn't give it a second thought. I automatically jumped on my broom and let the wind soar past me. Higher and higher I flew feeling my hair billow behind me since I hadn't bothered to tie it up. I was thrilled to be flying. It was a lot better in my animgus form, but this was still amazing.

My eyes easily followed the little white ball, and my mood changed into pure bliss as I pushed myself farther. It seemed to end too soon as I reached out and clasped my fingers around the ball. But the minute my hand started to clasp around the ball I heard a strong pound as wood clashed into metal. Sirius aimed a bludger right at me. I knew I wouldn't have time to turn around very well so with my ears I listened and waited just in time to sway my body to the right. I seemed to have moved my body just in time as I twirled downwards and back up before flying gracefully over to James and Sirius.

I did a strong dive to both of them, watching as their mouths gapped open. I waited until the right moment to pull up and land to see if they would flinch at all as I nearly hit them. They were too busy gawking in amazement though to even flinch.

Everything was eerily silent as I got off my broom. "I think you dropped this" I said while wearing my best smirk. I held out the ball to James and he didn't even bother to move. I couldn't stop smirking as the bludger had found its way back and was ready to hit me again. So instead I moved aside and let it crash in the ground. "And you Sirius, seemed to have dropped that." That seemed to have woken them up. Sirius quickly grabbed the bludger and put it back in the case as James put the tiny ball back into his pocket.

"Calm down Sparky, no need to be such a show off." James teased, though his voice was still in awe. Out of nowhere everything seemed to be drowned out as the stands burst out into a glorious clap. I tried not to smirk as I made my way back over to where the other Seekers hoping to tryout were.

James seemed to be waiting for the clapping to calm down before he spoke. Several girls were already starting to leave who really didn't want to try out. "It seems to me that a lot of people are here who shouldn't be." He kept his eyes on me as he said it. I couldn't tell if he really meant me or not, but none the less several girls sighed and walked away giggling to one another leaving our team with better numbers. There were ten people trying out for Beaters now and about 13 for Chasers. And someone even moved from the Beater area over to the Seeker area, making us four. The Keeper stood still at 3.

"Alright then, we will split up into teams and do it that way, and then we will try out individual on who is left." James smiled warmly at everyone.

And so it went, there were four groups in all. Then there were odds and ends that James wanted to get to next. He was setting it up so weird. I was on the last team to try out. So I had to sit there waiting patiently as I followed the snitch and the other Seekers barely noticed it half the time. It was two teams against each other and we were still on the first match. And I have to admit Kyle Bearings was doing amazing, I think he was a 5th year. I couldn't help but being amazed at how well he found the snitch, when the other girl was just zooming around looking clueless. That ended the first game and finally it was my turn. I ended up keeping an eye on the snitch most of the time, I couldn't help thinking I had an advantage with my eyes being a notch higher from the Vampire blood within me, but I wasn't going to tell anyone that. So instead I acted like I was clueless till Raven, who somehow was on my team, scored several goals along with a boy by the name of Aiden. I couldn't hear his last name as every time he scored it was just a chant of Aiden. Overall I thought it went well and I caught the snitch at just the right time it seemed.

And before I knew it James was deciding who was on the team and dropping people left and right. We had finished the practice games, and then the little side jobs he made us to decide. He kept Aiden, Raven, and obviously himself for Chasers. Sirius was a shoe in, not because he was James' best mate, but he was amazing at beating. A skill I think surprised everyone. The other Beater was a fourth year by the name of Madison Abberal and let me tell you she had a lot of bite in her. It was a good choice on James part because she could sure hit a bludger. She wasn't tiny, but she wasn't large either, she was just well built for the job. As for the Keeper, James kept our old one, who was seventh year, Thomas Thames. When it came down to Seeker two of the girls already walked away leaving me with Kyle Bearings. It was an awkward moment because James couldn't decide. I feel like he wanted me to be on the team but he didn't want me to get hurt.

I surprised when Kyle finally spoke "She's the better flier. Just let Nightray on the team. If she gets hurt I'll gladly take her place." He clapped a friendly hand on my shoulder. I smiled warmly at him, he was alright.

James didn't respond at first. He was having a battle within himself. It took Sirius to step forward and speak "Look mate, she's good and the only blokes who are cold enough to hurt her that badly will be Slyhterins. Let's just trust her." Sirius held a strong arm around his best mate with a smile.

"Okay…alright. You're on the team Kobato, but at any time if I say I want Bearings here playing instead of you...That's final" James pointed a warning finger at me.

"Yes mother." I teased with the biggest grin. I then turned to Bearings and gave him a big hug "Thank you! Really…this means a lot!" I didn't let go till he spoke.

"Relax Nightray" I pulled away to see him smiling at me. He wasn't half bad looking if I do say so myself. I didn't get much time to talk to him because before I knew it James had thrown me on his shoulders and was carrying me around the pitch. A moment that was short lived because Vaveriuz came to stop him and Sirius parading me around.

"I'm sorry to end this short, but Miss Nightray has a detention to serve with me for skipping class." Vaveriuz gloomily smiled at the pair of us.

James lightly let me down then frowned at her "She was sick, you can't give her a detention for that." James said defensively.

"She wasn't sick and hasn't been. You're a fool for believing that Mr. Potter." Her words were harsh and even caught James by surprise.

"Look Professor" Sirius piped in with anger laced in his voice "You shouldn't punish her for-" Vaveriuz cut him off.

"You want a detention too Mr. Black?" She snapped. No one said anything as she led me away to her office. I felt like I was going to my death at this very moment. I had been in her office many times. Only once this week, but that didn't stop me from being nervous from what was coming. She was going to bring up Trigger. I knew she was. She knew that was the root of my behavior. I knew she knew.

I tried my hardest not to sigh as she had me sit in my usual chair. Usually it was a friendly atmosphere when I sat in this chair, but now all I felt was nervous. I wanted this to be over with.

We sat there in silence staring at each other before she got up, turned her back to me, and stared out the window. Finally she spoke in a wavering voice that was not at all like hers. "Fifteen years ago, when I was a young foolish twenty year old witch…I was out on my own. My last name at that time was…it was Malfoy." I tried not to gasp at the name. I knew she was beautiful, gorgeous even. But I never knew that beauty came from the line of Malfoy. Now that I thought about it she did look a lot like a Malfoy. "I was upset at my parents. Who wouldn't be? Shoving pureblood this pureblood that, down my throat. And then one night they told me I was to marry Llyod Largo. A horrid pureblood, well in my opinion at least" She sobbed freely now, but still seeming to keep her composure. "So I did the one thing any foolish twenty year old witch would do. I ran. I ran and ran till I made it to Muggle London." She finally turned around to look at me. Her beautiful face was wet with tears and her eyes seemed to hold how much vulnerability she actually had, proving she was human just like the rest of us. "I was attacked by a bunch of Muggle boys from a gang. I was too upset and distraught that I didn't even defend myself. They stabbed me and stole what I had without a second thought, leaving me nearly dead and my wand discarded out of my reach." She turned back around not being able to look at me anymore. "I don't remember what happened from there on out. I just remember waking up in this beautiful bed. It was soft, warm, and felt like what a home should feel like. When I first opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was these beautiful silver eyes staring back at me with concern, worry, and sorrow. It was of course Vincent Vaveriuz."

"For me, I had never received love. I was…well think of me as being like that Sirius Black kid. The one who never understood why I should believe that I am better than anyone else just because I'm a so called pureblood" I watched her as she rested her head and hand on the window looking out at the afternoon sky. Her beautiful face was glowing in the sun that was peeking through making her look like a wounded angel as more tears stained her face. "I myself was sorted into Ravenclaw, not Slytherin like my parents wanted. I could never be like anything they wanted. They hated me, abused me, and wanted nothing to do with me…so to be saved and treated like a princess, I was flabbergasted. It wasn't just that, it was also that I hated my life so much I wanted to die. I couldn't figure out for the life of me why he would save me. Why would someone I didn't know save me? Why should he care? He's just…he was just someone."

I felt tears starting to make their way into my eyes. This was more than I could handle. And I couldn't understand what this had to do with me and my mood, but I think I didn't want to put the pieces together.

She ignored my tiny sobs and carried on. "But if I thought my life was hard before it was even harder over the next few days after I woke up to Vincent." She sighed and finally took a seat in her chair. The minute she sat down she grabbed her knees and held them close to her. She still didn't look at me. Her gaze was fixed on the window as the clouds made their way in, covering the sky with gloom. "I was eased into the household for a couple of days before I started to pick up on different habits within the manor that were not Pureblooded Wizard etiquette. No, I started noticing it was Vampire etiquette in no time."

I wearily smiled. They were completely different. You would be a fool not to notice.

"It scared me. I was taught that anyone other than Pureblood Wizards were the scum of the earth, but here was the Vaveriuz taking care of me…and Vincent letting me follow him around like a little puppy. It was too much to take in. It was hard for me to actually go against my upbringing even if I trusted these people. Then…after a couple days of being confused and clinging onto Vincent, I found out how Vincent saved me. To me I was as good as dead." She let out a loud sob as she cried into her hands before speaking again. I wanted to reach out. To hold her, to offer something, but I didn't know if that's what she wanted. I just wanted her to finish up. "I had Vampire reflex. No I have Vampire Reflex. And I seemed to have fallen in love with Vincent because he was the first person to treat me like a human. To treat me with love and respect…because of that, I knew I could never go back to the 'home'. I could never be a Malfoy." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand and finally looked up at me. "The Vaveriuz gladly took me in and Vincent and I…well. I love him. I love him more than he loves me. It wasn't just because he saved my life…no I hated him for that. It's because he saved my heart. But I could never be with him, not as I am. Not as a human. But that was my choice. That is still my choice." She let out the first smile I had seen on her face since this morning. "Trigger has always loved you. I can tell that, he saved you because he loved you. Not because of how kind Vampires are." She sat up and looked at me with determination. "Just because he loves you doesn't mean you have to love him back! Kobato you are free…you can be who you want to be. You don't have to hold onto him because he saved you. He did that out of love and…he loves you enough to let you go. You're future is different from mine! Trigger didn't save your heart. He saved your life so you can find the one who will take your heart and hold it safe. It may not need fixing but someone needs you to fix theirs!" She pound her fist down on the table. Her hair looked like a mess and her face was shimmering from the tears. She looked at me with fierce eyes and I returned her look with tears flowing down my cheeks.

She was right, I only loved Trigger for saving my life and that…that intimate relationship between Vampires. But what about Al? What was Al to me? I missed Al so much because I loved him. I felt like I needed him so much because I loved him and there's still a hole there. Without a second thought I got up and ran. And for the first time in months I clung onto my necklace with a purpose. I had to clear these feelings. If I didn't clear them I couldn't save anyone. I was here to save someone. But how can I save someone if I can't save myself? I can't…so I had to finish this. I didn't care at what cost. I ran as far as I could into the classroom where Al first admitted he loved me. I felt my body collapse onto the floor but I wasn't aware of what was going on. I knew I was clinging to my necklace, but I didn't feel it. I felt numb.

I smiled to myself as I clung onto my necklace and wished myself back to my time in this exact room. I started to feel sick as I felt the sensation take over me as I went from the past to the present.

It took me a while to gain the courage to open my eyes, but when I did I was glad to see that there was snow falling and the sky was dark. That was a good sign.

I started to run almost instantly after I opened my eyes. I didn't bother to stop to let my tears end flowing. I didn't bother to know where Filch was. I didn't care what time it was. All I knew was I needed to find Al.

My body carried me along down the familiar corridors all the way up to the Gryffindor common room. Without a second thought I said the password and climbed through. My eyes scanned hopefully for Al. It didn't take long. The common room was pretty empty, save a few 6th and 7th years. Al was the only 5th year there and he was sitting alone in the corner waiting for me to get back from McGonagall's office. Rose must have already gone to bed because he was sitting there reading a book. In a way I was glad it was this way. I missed Rose, I missed her dearly, but I wanted Al right now.

I made my way over to him unnoticed by him. He didn't look up till I threw myself into his lap and sobbed tears of joy and sorrow. I couldn't believe it was actually him. I could actually feel and touch him.

"Kobato? What happened? What did McGonagall want?" He pulled my chin up looking at me with worried eyes. "You look like a mess." He stated as his face filled with sorrow.

I felt like my voice was stuck in my throat. I couldn't figure out what to say. Finally I swallowed and attempted to say something "Al…I…Albus" I was trying to string the right words together but before I knew it my arms were tightly around him and he was holding me tightly in his lap as I sobbed and sobbed.

I didn't know how long he held me like that, all I know is by the time I stopped crying the common room was cleared out and it was just the two of us sitting there listening to the soft crackle of the fire.

"Kobato, what happened?" He questioned again trying to figure out how he could help me.

"Albus" I turned my head up so I could look into his eyes. I never called him Albus the fact that I was calling him Albus let him know this was serious. "I love you." I finally whispered out. He started at me for a moment not saying anything at all.

"Kobato" He smiled lovingly and brushed my hair out of my face. "All that I have is all that made you run away."

I blinked at him not comprehending what I just heard for a moment. "No…that…no. That wasn't it." I felt my eyes widen with tears once more.

"I believe you love me, I do" Al pulled me close to him "I've been thinking about it and…We can't be together…" He sighed and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"What do you mean…" I said barely audible.

"I can see you Kobato, you're real, but you're not really here. You don't belong here. I can tell…you never have. I don't want to be the one to hold you back."

* * *

I somehow ended up falling asleep in Al's arms and from there he took me into his dorm and let me sleep on his bed while he slept on the floor. When I woke up in the morning I didn't know where I was and I apparently called Al, James. And from there it didn't get much better. I kept calling Al, James and then getting upset because he didn't have the humor Al had. And as for Rose, I kept calling her Lily and I just was being driven up the wall. I felt like I didn't belong and I feel like I didn't accomplish anything whatsoever. In fact, I felt even worse. I know Al didn't reject me, he just told me what I needed to hear, what I had always believed. That yes I love him and Rose as great friends, but that's all. I didn't belong there, I never had felt like I belonged and right now was no exception. I didn't belong. So I decided on my own after breakfast, I would just go back to the past. And that's what I did. I braved it out and gritted through all my tears feeling I did what I came here to do and I left. I decided to just send myself back in the evening since I didn't want to have to deal with talking for people the rest of the day, so I decided to come back at 10 in the evening, hang out in the Astronomy tower until 2 am when I was finally feeling tired and feeling that my thoughts were together, and then head to the Gryffindor Tower.

I was surprised when I got there that it wasn't empty. Sitting right in front of the fire was an all too familiar figure of Sirius Black. He noticed that I came through the portrait hole with an instant.

"Where were you? No one could find you after you left Professor Vaveriuz's office." Sirius said loud and clear, though he didn't look over at me.

He was not who I wanted to talk to right now, but I was going to be courteous and I took a seat next to him and stared at the crackling fire as I let the tears slip through onto my face.

"No where really" I mumbled and grabbed my legs to bring them up to my chest.

"Don't sit like that, come here." Sirius scolded and held out his arms. I gawked at his open arms feeling perplexed.

"I'm not comfortable with being in your arms Sirius." I said truthfully as I shied away and looked back at the fire.

He ignored my comment and carried on like nothing happened "What did Professor say to you?" He questioned no long staring at the fire, but staring at me.

"She said a lot of things…and it's been hard to understand." I said still feeling shaken up and distant.

"It was about Trigger wasn't it?" He guessed correctly.

I turned my head on my knee and peered into his eyes "Yes" was all I could mutter out.

He didn't get frustrated at my answer or anything. I feel he could tell I was feeling out of it. With a smile he changed the subject quickly to him. "I got asked out tonight…I've been thinking about it and it just made it hard for me to sleep."

"Who asked you out?" I questioned actually curious as to what girl had the guts big enough to ask Sirius freakn Black out.

"May Maxwell, from Ravenclaw" He stated without hesitation "But I feel like she…she likes me too much and I don't want that kind of relationship." Sirius turned away from me now and was looking at the fire.

I glared at him before looking at the fire as well "Then why don't you go out with a Slytherin. Because you know…you broke away from your family because you didn't believe in them, so you have a choice now of who you can love. The Slytherin's don't…you might as well be one since you don't want to love. At least then you'd be with a girl who you knew you could shag whenever you wanted." I growled angrily before getting up, only to stagger back down.

"Kobato…that's not…I mean." He stuttered for a bit and just stared at me.

"Then what? What are you so afraid of?" I glared at him trying to read his emotions, any emotions at all. He wouldn't cave in though. He was raised by purebloods, he knew how to block me out. I was one step closer to figuring myself out but not closer to figuring him out.

**A/N: Character development...yay! **


	18. Chapter 18: Tasteless

**Chapter 18: Sweet talk and tasteless conversations**

**A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews. Sorry I've been in a bit of a writers block but not...I know where I want to go just I don't know how I want to get there :O  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

* * *

After I left Sirius in the common room I found it hard to leave my bedroom. I spent a couple of days in there crying and moping until I was too sick to stand. This resulted in me being rushed to the hospital wing by a concerned Professor McGonagall. I didn't mind, I was soon out and practicing daily with the Quidditch team. And before I knew it the first match of the season was approaching quicker then I was comfortable with. It was against Slytherin which, well once word got out that I was Seeker for Gryffindor, well…how do I word it. Apparently the Slytherin's took my protecting Dawson as for me wanting to do the honors myself. So they weren't mad at me then, no they still wanted to be my friend until they found out I was Seeker. I had been cornered by Snape and some of his friends and we talked nonchalantly until the topic of Qudditch was brought up. And let's just say there was a nasty duel until I was saved by Vaveriuz who was looking for me apparently.

But if I thought that was bad, well I wasn't giving the Slyhterin's enough credit because as the match approached I had to have a guard or five on me at all times. As did most of the members on the team except for James and Sirius, who could hold their own. To me it was getting a bit old and I was glad that the match was going to be two days from now.

"Sirius, I'll be fine you don't have to wait for me." I groaned inwardly as I started walking towards the dorm. I was having a bad day health wise and I wanted to take my medicine before dinner. Sirius of course escorted me up here. I was hoping to shake him off and hoping he would not want to go all this way, but he was still by my side. Maybe I could just fly out my window and go the great hall without him. I tried not to smirk at the thought.

"What and let my favorite team mate get hurt? I think not" Sirius reached forward and ruffled my hair.

I glared at him before walking a couple of stairs "James will be hurt if he heard that."

He threw a quick wink at me "It will be our secret." He grinned. I ignored it and turned up the stairs feeling ready to just abandon him. But I'm not that mean. Well…debatable. I did take my sweet time though. I decided to wash up, clean my mouth up, take my medicine and then head down.

Sirius was sitting alone in his favorite chair, titling back by pushing back and forth on the table. He seemed to be deep in thought. I smiled and watched him for a while before he noticed me approaching.

"Watching me again Kobato?" Sirius smirked over at me.

"Mmmm I was just trying to figure out what your tiny brain was thinking about." I teased and took a seat across from him.

He stopped tipping his chair and leaned forward resting his chin on his hands. "I'm just thinking about the game. You can back out you know."

I ignored his comment "I hear you are going out with Frank."

Lazily he tipped his chair back and forth "Hardly, she started that rumor. We are just-" I cut him off.

"Snog buddies, yeah I figured." I sighed.

"Something like that." Sirius said. He stopped and looked around the common room that was fairly empty still. "You know you don't have to go to the game…Bearings would gladly take over." He said changing the subject.

"I want to do this." I said confidently.

"You don't have to prove anything, I know you're a strong girl." Sirius didn't look at me when he said it. He was busy staring out the window with a look I couldn't put my finger on.

I got up to stand next to him. Even though he was sitting he still was a bit taller than me. "Who said I needed to prove anything to you? If I wanted you I'd have you regardless of how short and lacking I am." I smirked.

He turned to look at me and smirked as well. "You want to bet?" He questioned and stood up towering over me at once.

"What's there to bet on?" I laughed "Come on let's go to dinner my best _mate._" I teased and grabbed his hand.

I noticed he didn't let go and let me lead the way to the portrait hole "There's a lot to bet on. You're hearts torn. I know you love that filthy Vampire." I tried not to roll my eyes at the venom in his voice.

"No one owns my heart." I squeezed his hand tightly to get my point across. He stopped walking and looked at me curiously. "What?" I questioned feeling annoyed.

He didn't say anything. We walked in silence till we entered the great hall still hand in hand. Finally Sirius spoke as we made our way to Lily and Raven. Nearby were James, Remus and Peter. "I like having you as a friend." was all he said and pushed me lightly in a spot next to Lily and left me be.

Both Lily and Raven were giving me quizzical looks. "What was that all about?" They both managed to question at the same time.

"What was what all about?" I questioned playing innocent.

Lily and Raven leaned into me closer. Then Lily spoke in a mere whisper "I like having you as a friend" She mirrored his voice and pretended to swoon.

"And what about holding hands?" Raven inquired raising an eyebrow and looked at me than at Sirius.

"Oh please" I rolled my eyes "I hold hands with you two. I'm sorry that Sirius and I are somehow frie-" I was cut off as the evening post made its way in. The evening post was only on every Tuesday and Thursdays these days, usually we didn't have it. But with more and more deaths and torturing by Voldmort students wanted to know. I stared off as I got several letters. That left me confused. I knew one was from Fay but who was the other one from?

"Popular aren't we?" James leaned close to where we were all sitting, which was far enough away for Lily's liking.

"Ones from Fay my Vampire lover" I teased and flapped the letter around in the air.

James jumped up quickly and snatched the letter "This must be important. I need to approve of it first." My eyes widened as James started opening the letter. I knew he would find out Fay was a girl, but that was the least of my worries. James started reading it out loud. "_Dear Kobato" _ Was all he got out before I jumped on his back in attempt to rip the letter out of his hands.

"JAMES FREAKN POTTER!" As if the whole great hall wasn't watching already, they were now as I screamed and was hitting James on the head with my wand.

"_I've missed you terribly, surely you must miss me." _James carried on, only to be cut off by Sirius who stole the letter out of curiously and started reading it himself. At least Sirius had the decently to not read it out loud.

I jumped off of James' back and paid little to no attention as I read the next letter. It was from Mrs. Black. I was baffled as I stared at the letter.

"Who's that letter from?" Raven asked looking at my face in concern.

"Sirius' mother" I said in disbelieve as I read on. Before I knew it, Sirius had abandoned Fay's letter and was hunching over my shoulder to read along with Lily, Raven, James, Remus, and Peter. I'm not sure how we all manage to gather around, but we did. I was the first to finish and I gave out a snort of disbelieve "_I really hope you are able to change him and that he will not change you into a filthy blood traitor." _I quoted laughing.

"Weren't you already a blood traitor?" Sirius laughed reading it over, but deep in his eyes was an emotion being covered by his tough sarcastic attitude.

I ignored it and snatched Fay's letter back. He gave me a shocked look to which I retorted with "Find anything fascinating about my Vampire lover?" I sneered.

"Only that she's a girl" He laughed "I didn't know you swing that way." He teased.

"My choices on boys are pretty slim. I mean there's you...yeah not even that good looking. Then ther-" Sirius cut me off.

"Excuse me?" He questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Girls, stop arguing please." Raven rolled her eyes causing Sirius and I to glare at her.

"I just don't get why you lied to us and said this Fay was your lover, is all." Sirius said ignoring Raven completely.

"Because you need to grow up and learn Vampires aren't bad." I snapped.

Sirius stared at me for a moment "She said that half of them are joining-" I cut him off.

"Those aren't the Pureblood's or Elites. They would never join his ranks or do something as low and as vile as the Cogsworth's or the Everwoods! If you think for a moment someone as noble and pure as Fay Rainsworth or Trigger Nightray would ever join the likes of him then I guess that we can't be friends" I shouted and stalked off.

"Wait! Kobato wait!" Sirius called chasing after me. I didn't respond though. I kept walking aimlessly away from him. In no time at all he had caught up and grabbed my arm with a lot of force and pulled me into a nearby empty classroom. He leaned up against the door blocking my way out. I scowled but said nothing. Sirius how ever looked down at me with a sweet smile "I was upset to be honest. About this Fay person...I want to know if you get a boyfriend. That's what friends do."

I wasn't buying it. That sounded false to me. I stared forward at him searching his face for something "No I wouldn't tell you who I was dating or liked at all! You don't tell me!" I snapped.

"Yes but...You need me and James to look out for you." He said in arrogance.

"Not for my heart!" I threw back in his face, not backing away.

"You are a fragile li-" He started but I cut him off.

"Fragile? F-" I started gasping in disbelieve but cut myself off "You got your ear pierced." I stopped feeling my anger seep out soon to be forgotten.

"What?" He seemed like he was going to yell but the statement caught him off guard "Yeah...this summer actually. You are just noticing it now?"

"You're taller than me!" I said defensively. "I usually look at your stomach...it's my eye level."

He let out his usual bark laugh "Well does it make me look better? A lot of girls think so." He said cockily.

"Mmmm " I started to tease "No, you need something else." I smirked.

"Like what?" He said raising an eyebrow in doubt.

"Not sure, you need a lot to fix that ugly face." I teased and patted his cheek.

"Excuse me?" He took a couple of loud breaths and looked at me clearly upset.

"Sirius, relax. What do I matter?" I questioned truthfully. Not sure why he wanted my opinion so badly.

"You're my first female friend...you're like my sister." He smiled warmly and I knew he was telling the truth.

"Alright, bro." I teased.

* * *

Friday went a lot better. Raven, Lily, and I managed to slip out of the common room that morning without James and Sirius. They were late for our first class of the day, which was with Vaveriuz, because they thought we over slept. And well, that proved to be amusing. Somehow they both ended up with a detention, which annoyed James enough to prank a couple of water balloons, all of which landed on Professor Vaveriuz.

The rest of the day pasted quickly enough without any incident. And before I knew it we were in the common room with James and Sirius having a fight with two of the chairs. I found their childish behavior wore me out and I said I was going to bed early. But I found out that my nervous got to me more and I barely slept. I couldn't stop thinking about Mrs. Black's letter and I really couldn't stop thinking about Fay's. The thought of more and more Vampires turning to Voldmort, made people like me and Vaveriuz in danger. It was not a good outlook for me. Nor was this Quidditch match. The Slytherins knew how weak and vulnerable I was and I hoped and prayed I wouldn't have to do anything.

But walking out into the field told me otherwise. A clad of Red and Gold were shouting "Go Go Gryffindor" and others were hissing Slytherin as they raised the serpent flag proud.

I walked forward barely aware that James was steering me all the while Sirius asked me a slew of questions. To which I just nodded and didn't really answer. It all seemed to be happening so fast. What had I gotten myself into? I thought as I kicked up and soared into the air. As soon as I got up higher and higher I felt my worries seemed to drop one by one. It was a perfect day for flying. I felt like nothing could stop me now. I smirked and tuned out all cheers and jeers and concentrated on the score and the snitch.

For the first fifteen minutes I didn't run into any problems, but after a while it became apparent that one of the Slytherin beaters were after me. I dodged the bludgers flawlessly, but I found it hard to keep an eye out for the snitch. They weren't stopping either and after a good 45 minutes of this game I was growing weary.

Letting out a groan I flew to Sirius just a bit ahead of him "Let's show them what us blood traitors got!" I smirked and veered to the left so Sirius could hit the bludger. And boy did he hit it. I followed the bludger with my eyes as I zoomed and darted across the field hoping for the snitch, and watched with a definite thud as the bludger collided into an unsuspecting Slytherin beater. I turned back around to give Sirius a high five when I noticed not too far down a glittering gold object. The snitch. I tried my hardest not to make a scene as I dove down for it knowing Gryffindor was ahead by a 150 to 50. I speed faster and faster past Slytherins who tried plowing me down. I quickly reached forward and grabbed the Snitch just as two burly Slytherin Chasers tackled me. In slow motion I felt myself fall off my broom. I started to panic and tried to get out my wand, I was pretty high up, but it was too late I was not going to make it. I was going to meet with the ground on unfriendly terms. I closed my eyes waiting for that moment to come and I clutched tighter and tighter to the Snitch, but it never came. I opened my eyes slowly to see a weary pair of orbs "Sirius?" I quested peering only at his eyes as he landed safely on the ground with me in his arms.

"It's what friends are for" He commented with a smirk before the whole stadium burst into cheers. James landed right next to Sirius in no time with the rest of the team. James quickly grabbed me out of Sirius' arms and threw me on his back parading me around as people roared in happiness around me as I showed of the snitch in the air, being carried around like some kind of queen the night dragged forward and I found us all heading for the common room.

And in no time the common room was filled and people were partying. James and Sirius had disappeared and came back a bit later with butterbeer and firewhisky. I was already chatting it up with Bearings by the time they came back.

"No no seriously!" I laughed noticing Sirius approaching us each with a butterbeer. "I don't really like him."

"Who don't you like?" Sirius questioned handing us each a butterbeer.

Bearings and I looked at each other trying not to laugh seeing as I was talking about Sirius. "Nothing darling" I teased as I took a sip of butterbeer.

"Of course you were talking about me." Sirius said while rolling his eyes "And Bearings, she doesn't like me, she's madly in love with me, get it right." He threw a quick wink at me before walking off.

"You'll have to excuse his ego. It's not happy unless he thinks every girl wants him." I laughed watching Sirius mingle in with some girls.

"So I've noticed." Bearings laughed before turning to me with a warm smile. "So then since you really don't like him, you are open to date then?"

The question caught me off guard. Was he asking me out? I blinked a couple of times before I responded "Well…I guess, I mean…well I've never had a boyfriend." I blurted out stupidly.

He smiled "I think you're lying again." He pretended to scold me as he sipped his butterbeer.

"I don't lie! I think this is going to be a problem, if you can't trust me now…goodness!" I laughed throwing up my arms in defeat.

"So would you be will-" His words were cut off by a large shriek from Lily who was running towards me quickly.

"Kobato!" She whined and pulled my arm as she pointed over to James. "Tell him he's an arrogant jerk!" She shouted and it seemed as if at that moment everyone was listening because the murmur of talking seemed to cease all at once.

"Errr…why?" I questioned turning all my attention away from Bearings to Lily who was obviously distressed about something.

Lily looked down at the floor "Well…you know." She mumbled with no real excuse at. It was the first time she didn't ever list off reasons why she hated him the way she did. It was like she was acting out of habit or something.

I stood up and gave a stern look over at James "James Good Looking Potter, stop being an arrogant jerk, it upsets my dearest Princess, Lily-flower." I said in the most serious voice I owned. Several people snickered, while Lily slapped me.

"Excuse me!" She shrieked and started chasing me around the common room. When I saw Raven huddled by some girls in the corner I immediately hid behind her.

"Rav save me! Lily's going to murder me." I clung tightly and stuck my tongue out at Lily.

"Maybe later, I'm busy." Raven said nonchalantly and shook a defeated looking me off.

"I'll save you!" Sirius voice ran loud and proud as he scooped me up and carried me bridal style away from Lily.

"Seriously?" I groaned as he carried me over to where James was and set me down knowing Lily wouldn't come over here.

"Yeah, I think so." Sirius laughed.

"What did you do James?" I questioned now that Lily was complaining over where Raven, Bri, and Kathleen were talking with some 5th year boys.

"I asked her for a kiss since I did so well in the game." James said as if any girl should agree to that. I tried not to snort.

"Smooth…well I'm going to go mingle. Besides I see some girls eyeing you boys up." I smiled and left them there. I went to go find Bearings again to finish our conversation but I could find him anywhere. So I settled for talking with Raven, Bri, Lily, Kathleen and the 5th year boys. We had a great time but I was slowly getting exhausted and sick feeling from all the excitement. And before I knew it I was starting to fall asleep in the chair I was in. It was shortly after that, that I felt someone's strong arms wrap themselves around me and carry me up the stairs. I peeked my eyes open to see James staring straight ahead and carrying me up to his dorm.

"Aww you weren't supposed to wake up." He commented softly as he opened the door.

"I'm sleeping no worries." I smiled and closed my eyes again.

"You did well today, I'm proud of you." He smiled at set me down on his bed. He shifted the blankets around me and took a seat by my feet. "You've sure surprised us all."

"I don't know why…"I laughed softly and snuggled closer in bed. "I don't have Mr. Moo" I added as an afterthought as I tried to get comfy.

"Mr. Moo?" James furrowed his brows in confusion.

"Yes my teddy bear." I said softly.

"That makes no sense whatsoever." James laughed and pulled out his wand regardless and summoned the teddy bear there, which I gladly took and snuggled up with. "Get some rest. I'll be back probably at 2 am." James ruffled my hair before getting up.

"Where will you sleep?" I asked with concern because I was in his bed.

"Sirius won't be coming back tonight. Did you not see how attached his lips were to Smiths face?" He snorted.

"No…I didn't. Nor would I want to." I said truthfully.

"Yeah best you didn't." He smiled and leaned forward to plant a kiss on my forehead "Night" He smiled and walked off.

"Night…"I whispered wearily and drifted off to sleep.

The morning came a lot sooner than it should have normally. There was some fighting seeming to go on causing me to immediately grab my wand in panic.

"That's my leg you are touching." Whose voice was that? I wondered as I opened the curtains around me to see two figures on Sirius' bed seeming to be in a sexual position.

"And that's my butt." Another voice mumbled.

"Why don't you go sleep in your bed Prongs?" So one of them was James, I sighed relief and laid my head back down on my pillow and set my wand back on the night table.

"Padfood I can't" James groaned, meaning the other figure in the bed was Sirius. There was a loud shifted and movement of bed sheets before everything was silent for a while.

Then I felt movement on the bed I was in. Someone had sat down on the edge of it. I quickly opened my eyes and flipped to my side to just barely see Sirius climb into bed with me in just his boxers. I couldn't help but let out a scream causing everyone in the room to panic. Sirius quickly hopped up and pulled the blankets off to cover himself. James pulled out his wand and stood on Sirius' bed pointing it at us. Remus ran over to us and Peter's screams mixed with mine.

"Sorry Kobato" Sirius finally mumbled once all the screaming subdued. "I didn't know you were in there. That explains what James was doing in my bed." Sirius stared at a still panicked me while everyone else stared at one another.

"It's…what time is it?" I stepped off the bed to look for a clock.

"6 am" Remus grumbled taking a seat on his own bed.

"I'm sorry I screamed…" I took a seat back down on James' bed "I just…your leg touched me and it was bare…and I…"

Sirius cut me off. "Calm down before you hurt yourself." He laughed.

"You're legs are pretty hairy, I'd be panicking too." James teased "You're like a puppy."

"Prongs, shut up." Sirius rolled his eyes and sat down on James' bed next to me.

"Sirius" I whined while pulling on the blanket "I'm cold. Give me some of this."

"What? Oh sorry." He smiled and snuggled up on the bed next to me. "I suppose we can all get some sleep now."

"Not happening mate, I'm wid-" Remus started but was cut off by the door to their dorm busting open.

"Is everything alright in here? We heard screaming." It looked like one of the 7th year boys. I didn't know his name but he had his wand out and was peering in with a concerned look from what I could tell from the faint sunrise.

"My fault Dawson" Sirius said as if this sort of thing happened all the time.

"What happened Black?" he questioned stepping out of the door way and walked over to where Sirius and I were sitting.

"He thought it was a good idea to crawl into bed with me." I snorted and the other boys laughed.

"Nightray? What are you doing in here?" He questioned now standing right next to the bed.

I smiled as warmly as a groggy me could "Beats me, I feel asleep during the party and woke up with Sirius crawling into bed with me." I shrugged. "I mean I know I'm irresistible but really."

"It's that or Black's raging hormones." He teased with a smile, ignoring Sirius completely.

"What can I say?" Sirius shrugged not taking offense to it at all.

"In any case, if you all are alright, I'm going back to bed." He smiled at us all warmly and started heading for the door.

"Wait…You're last name is Dawson right?" I questioned quickly as the thought dawned on me.

"Yeah, I'm the older brother of the girl you saved last year, if that's what you were getting at." He said catching my drift.

"How is she? I was so worried about her." I asked noticing that the sun was starting to get higher and higher in the sky.

"She's doing well." He walked to the door then turned around to say one last thing. "She wants to thank you but she's afraid too. Something about you being mature and too beautiful to talk to" He said it calmly and in a kind manner, but it made my cheeks flush a light pink none the less.

"I will, I'm glad she's okay." I said trying to hide my embarrassment. And with that he left leaving the boys and I in a silent room as we wanted to go back to sleep but thought it was pointless. Although Sirius never went to bed so he must be exhausted. I looked over at him, he had his eyes closed and was relaxing on the bed as far from me as he could get.

"Well this was an eventful morning." James laughed and got up to join Sirius and I on his bed. Soon Remus and Peter joined as well.

"I'll say" Remus laughed as well. "I mean it was one thing to hear you and Padfoot argue."

I shook my head in agreement "I thought you guys were…you know." I blushed.

"Were what?" Both James and Sirius looked at me with curiosity laced on their faces.

I looked at Remus who just smirked and then at Peter, who looked totally zoned out "Doing the deed….I mean that's what it looked like. And I didn't know who you were" I added quickly as my voice started to shake out of awkwardness.

Sirius and James looked at each other than let out a roar of laughter. Soon we were all laughing at one another out of tiredness and the situation.

"Now that you mention it…" Remus gasped for air through laughs.

"Poor Kobato" James patted me on the back as tears streaked his eyes.

"Well come on mate, you did touch my butt." Sirius looked sternly over at James before they started snickering again.

"I always knew there was some funny business between you too." Peter piped in his squeaky voice.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." I laughed and gave Peter a high five.

We all talked for at least two hours before I fell back asleep. It was a fun morning and I couldn't imagine it anyway else. When I woke up though I was surprised it was just Sirius and I sleeping. Sirius was in his bed of course but I just figured everyone else was pretty wiped. But then again it was lunch time. I contemplated waking him up before leaving, but then I thought against it. I smiled for a moment watching his peaceful sleeping figure and then left. My smile lasted all the way to my dorm where I got ready and headed down for a much needed lunch, hoping to see Raven and Lily there.

It took me a while to find them, they were closer to the staff table and still had a bit of grogginess to them from the night before.

"Afternoon" I mumbled taking a seat next to Raven.

"What happened to you? Some rumors going around that Sirius attacked you this morning." Raven laughed and prodded me with her index finger as I grabbed a sandwich and some pumpkin juice.

"Let's not talk about this." I grumbled. "What did you guys do after James brought me to bed?" I questioned eyeing both of them curiously.

"Lily here hit it on with Belby, the 5th year." Raven smirked broadly.

Lily just shook her head as she blushed "Yes, but Ja-Potter didn't take it too kindly. Full out duel in the common room."

I stared in disbelieve "No way? James didn't mention anything about it this morning."

"Truth, so I don't know if anything will come of it." Lily sighed as she poked around her salad.

I sighed as well and took a bit out of my sandwich before talking. "You know…James can't keep doing this, you're not his."

"I know…" Lily just barely whispered. Raven patted her on the back in sympathy but in her eyes was something else. Was it amusement?

We sat there in silence for a bit before there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Victoria from the Sirius fan girls staring down at me. This was never a good sign. Regardless I smiled warmly to her.

"Nightray we need a word." She said in a strange voice. It was slightly hostile but at the same time it was trying to be polite.

"Sure" I smiled as warmly as I could but I was still tense. There were several girls behind her backing her up and looking threatening at me.

"In private, please." She growled. I didn't want to accept with that attitude. I thought I had gotten rid of them a while ago. It had been so long since they had bothered me. What could it be this time?

"Let me eat first then we can talk all you want." I realized how calm I was with her. I didn't feel afraid of her at all, none of her girls.

"Alright, come get me when you are ready." She said still in a voice draped with kindness.

Once she was out of ear shot Raven gave a nasty glare "Probably because Sirius has been getting cozy with you." She sighed.

"Doubt it he's not that cozy anyways. Just friends remember." I made a face before going back to my food.

The rest of the meal seemed kind of pointless. I didn't feel much like eating seeing as I had to met with these girls to talk about god knows what. Raven was probably right, it was probably something to do with Sirius getting to close to me. So needless to say, I was dreading talking to them.

With a big sigh I followed several fangirls into an empty classroom as we all took a seat on the desk and waited for Victoria to talk.

"I know you aren't interested in our Sirius" Victoria started with a proud smile.

"Obviously not" I responded trying not to sound bored.

"But you are good friends with him from what I understand." She smiled with devious thoughts playing through her head.

"Something like that." I tried not to smile as I noticed all the girls hanging on our every word.

"Then can you answer what's wrong with our Sirius?" She pleaded grabbing my hand trying to convey her feelings. I just stared at her. Once again with the words _our _Sirius, the irony in that is that Sirius is free, he can never be owned.

I didn't know what to say. Was there something wrong with Sirius? I thought he seemed normal. "What do you mean?" I questioned after a couple moments of silence.

"He just…he won't go out with anyone and he's been sneaking around a lot! And no one knows who he's been with." Taylor piped up.

"You sure he's not with James, Remus, or Peter?" I questioned not seeing how he could just disappear.

The girls all let out a shriek then Victoria spoke "No he's not, we have Gryffindors that tell us he's not. And he's not in detention. Something's up with him and his sneaking around."

"I haven't noticed him missing." I said truthfully trying to figure out what was up.

Victoria shook her head "You might not have, you are usually with Professor Vaveriuz or studying when he is missing."

There was a flaw in this "So if I'm busy and don't notice when he's missing why are you asking me?" I questioned feeling still confused on what was going on.

"He tells you anything! You could figure it out!" One of the girls whose names I didn't happen to know stated.

"And what do I get for rating my friends out?" I raised an eyebrow staring at the girls waiting for an answer.

"If you do date Sirius, we will not hex you or bother you." Victoria proposed.

"Fine, but I doubt I date him." I tried not to smirk as I put my hand out and she shook it happily.

"Then we have a deal." Victoria smiled wickedly and shook my hand.


	19. Chapter 19: Purity

**Chapter 19: I want to be able to cherish the white purity of the falling snow.**

**A/N: Thank you for all the kind reviews, you know who you are. And sorry, I wanted to get this out sooner but I hurt my wrist in sculpture class so I could type as well, imagine that. Just a couple days of resting and it's all better, soooo here's to hoping I get another story out tomorrow :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

The next couple of weeks seemed to fly by in a dizzy array. After the fangirls had told me about Sirius' strange behavior it was all I was thinking about. I couldn't help myself from wondering what was going on. Neither could James. We both seemed to notice his odd disappearances. And it wasn't just that, it was the fact that usually he would parade around who he was with, but not anymore. Everything was hush hush. Of course I still saw Sirius at Quidditch practice and I saw him in classes. But when James was in detention, which James was there for pulling pranks by himself, Sirius would be missing. And it was like if James wasn't around to hang with Sirius would have no part in being there anymore. Not just that, he wasn't pulling pranks, at all. He didn't want to get in trouble, but really! There was a rumor that Filch had a whole filing cabinet full of their stunts, so what's changing him?

Sirius barely found time to bother me. I didn't mind, between homework, Quidditch, two Hogsmeade trips, and just living I was busy enough as it was. But how was I supposed to find out what was up with him? And let me tell you by the middle of November, I wish I knew because the fangirls were getting restless in bothering me.

But as November was closing into an end everyone woke up with some startling news. Apparently Snape was almost killed by a prank pulled by the Marauders, mainly Sirius. The news was the first news to reach my ears about Sirius, but I still found it weird. James apparently saved Snape last minute…but would they really want to kill him? Lily thought it was likely and couldn't stand to look at any of the Marauders. She obviously still cared for Snape deep down inside. I on the other hand didn't know what to think, but come 11 at night, Lily's concern was showing deeper and deeper.

"Please, if I go and see if Snape is alright it will be the end of it. I can't just be his friend anymore, you know that!" Lily pleaded for the hundredth time.

"So you want me to go to the hospital wing?" I groaned, I hated that place and that was not where I wanted to be on my Wednesday evening. I personally would rather be in my bed.

"I can just send you there if you'd rather." Lily added in a sarcastic tone, but I was convinced she'd do it anyways just to find out what really happened.

"No, I'm good. I'll go." I smiled and crawled into bed hoping she meant tomorrow.

"Kobato…" She tapped her foot. "I meant tonight."

"Right of course you did." I groaned and got up and headed for the door still in my night gown. "You owe me." I said before leaving and heading out. Lucky for her the common room was dead. I tried not to sigh as I headed out of the portrait hole and walked down the path I knew so well to get to the hospital wing. I had only walked about fifteen minutes before I got stopped though.

"Nightray?" I whirled around in the spot I was in to see none other than Sirius Black softly peering around the corner.

"I realized we haven't talked in forever, but now you are calling me by my surname?" I questioned in a soft, but angry whisper.

"Sorry, Kobato caught me off guard." He said quickly as he walked closer to me. "Where are you going in your night gown?" He questioned now looking me up and down causing a blush to creep into my cheeks.

"None of your business, the question is what are you doing out?" I asked feeling he was the suspicious one.

"I can't tell you that." He smirked playfully as he leaned casually against the wall.

"Friends don't keep secrets, _Black_." I glared before I decided it was best to walk away from him and carry on with my journey to the hospital wing.

"You are the one not telling me where _you_ are going first." He grabbed my arm sharply and pulled me close to him. I didn't flinch as he stared down at me with cold eyes instead I glared right back trying to think of something to say.

"Does it matter where I am going? I'm not the one who's been sneaking around lately." I smirked as I realized I hit a nerve. He pushed me away quickly and looked at me in annoyance.

"Why does it matter to you?" He questioned forgetting about where I was going. He stared at me as I sat on the floor that I had been pushed down too.

"I'm your friend, remember? Friends tell each other things because they care for them." I sighed and threw myself up off the ground "Though you wouldn't know how to care for someone. Now if you excuse me I need to get going." I threw one last glare before I walked on my own trying to ignore my nagging thoughts that told me to turn around and follow him.

I'm glad I didn't though because I could have sworn I heard another person walking around, no doubt Filch, meaning I was much safer going up to the hospital wing where I intended to go.

It only took me a couple more minutes of agony before I made it to the hospital wing. I say agony, because my thoughts wouldn't rest. I wanted to know what Sirius was up to so badly. I may be turning into one of his fangirls, but I had a mission to do and I couldn't do that if he was busy…being suspicious.

Slowly I made my way in as not to startle Snape who was sitting on a lonely bed all by himself.

"Sev?" I questioned as sweetly as I could.

"Kobato?" He whispered back, clearly he wasn't asleep.

I smiled warmly as I walked softly to take a seat on his bed. He smiled as well and cast a quick spell at Madam Pomfrey's office, no doubt to muffle our talking.

"How you feeling?" I asked gingerly, noticing that he actually looked pretty good all things considered. He just had a couple of scratches here and there.

"Just fine" He drawled "Is Lily asking about me?" He asked hopefully.

"No, I'm here on my own." I lied knowing nothing good would come if he knew I was here on Lily's orders.

He sighed "Figures, she loves Saint Potter and his crew even if they tried to murder me." He was glaring off into space at the thought of James.

"Care to tell me what happened?" I reached out and put a gentle hand on his.

"Rather not, I've already told it several times today." I watched him as he closed his eyes, clearly exhausted.

I gave his hand a light squeeze "I miss you guys, you know that right?" I smiled warmly.

He opened his eyes to study my face "Guys as in us Slyhterins? None of us hate you, it was just for the game. There was talk about getting you over there for lunch or something."

"I would gladly accept, once you get better Sev" I poked his cheek and then got up "I'll let you rest, I'm glad you're safe" I smiled.

"Night" He said in his usual bored tone. I just smiled and walked as silently as I could out of the room.

I was walking a bit before I made it to the place where Sirius and I had bumped into each other. The weird part was it wasn't silent, angry voices seemed to come from an empty room close by. I couldn't help but put an ear up to the door to see who it was.

"He's one of my housemates! Rumor was you almost killed him Sirius!" I pressed my ear harder as I heard Sirius' name be called. The girl was angry, no furious as she yelled at him. I wonder why they didn't have the common sense to put a charm on the door.

"He was asking for it! It's not my fault he's sticking his greasy nose in other people's business!" Sirius angrily retorted. They were clearly talking about Sev and the girl said he was her housemate, so she was a Slyhterin. Sirius has been seeing a Slyhtherin? I tried not to gasp as I listened harder

"Remind me again why you aren't in Slyhterin?" The girl spat "I'm done with you."

"That's not fair! Give me another chance Lu, please!" Was Sirius pleading for a girl to stay? What the heck was going on? And Lu? The only Lu in Slyhterin is Lucy Baskerville who's in 6th year as well.

"I'll think about it, but this isn't worth it to me." She snapped and started to walk away. I had to quickly dodge and run down the opposite hall and put myself into hiding. I waited in a little corner for a long time, till at least I thought Sirius was gone and then I decided to marched myself up to the common room. When I got there I wasn't surprised at all to see Sirius sitting in front of the fire staring off to nowhere with an upset look upon his face.

"Something wrong?" I questioned trying to pry into what happened. I was dying to know what happened, even if I shouldn't be. But I couldn't help myself, usually I would try to get away from him as fast as I could, but not lately. I feel like him not being around made me want to be near him more.

"Just getting back from your outing?" Sirius said with his heart not in it at all.

"Yeah mad snog session" I smirked playfully and took a seat next to him.

He threw me a look "You don't snog" He laughed and let his face ease up a bit.

"That's because you never showed up at the astronomy tower! I was waiting!" I teased but I made it sound convincing.

He stared at me in disbelieve seeing as I never joked this way with him, but I knew what I was doing. If I eased him into he might just tell me what was wrong. And believe me I wanted that, I only had a year and a half left.

"Was that the wrong thing to say? Sorry…just I never get stood up by Sirius freakn Black" I punched his arm lightly. He let out a laugh.

"Doll, you are so adorable." He smiled while keeping his gaze on me.

I blushed "Thanks" I turned back to the fire "What happened to you? Did your snog date stand you up?" I asked as gently as I could.

"Sorta…" He said barely audible. There was a moment of silence as I watched him think for a bit "How do you do it, Kobato?" He asked still in a soft voice.

"How do I do what?" I turned my head to look at him. His brows were furrowed and he looked deep in thought.

"How do you make it from day to day? You lost your parents, you moved away from all your friends, and you don't have a boyfriend. Don't you get lonely?" He turned to me with wonder, worry, and pain etched upon his face.

"I'm human." Was all I answered with a soft smile.

"What does that mean?" He asked rubbing his hands across his face.

I crawled over to him and pulled his hands away from his face. I smiled warmly at him and put my forehead against his "Sirius, I get lonely just like you do. I cope with it day by day. I have people to help me get through this."

He kept staring into my eyes with the look of pain within his eyes "You confuse me." He confessed.

"Sorry" I smiled and pulled my face a way from his. "I'll help you through this." I stood up and patted him on the head.

"Mean it?" He questioned with hope.

"That's what friends are for Sirius" With one last smile I turned to leave to go up to bed, where Lily was waiting impatiently for my report.

The next morning was harsher then I wanted it to be. I was extremely tired from staying up late and telling Lily everything she wanted to know. Not only that I had a hard time sleeping. My thoughts were busy with everything that happened last night. Between Sev, Sirius, Baskerville, and everything that had happened, I couldn't rest.

I found it hard to drag myself down to breakfast with Lily and Raven. But I made it either way. And I made sure to make myself facing the Slyhterin table to try and find Baskerville. But she wasn't anywhere to be found. Of course I didn't know where to look. At least I'd be able to see her in Potions this morning.

Potion seemed like the longest class ever. I was waiting for it to be over so I could catch her in the hallways, but then I felt like there was a flaw in that plan because Sirius would see me try to go after her. And that would just be suspicious. I knew I did horribly on my potion because of it, but I didn't care I had bigger problems to deal with.

The minute we were done I hurried to get ready. I figured I could easily talk to the other Slyhterin's and try and get some information on her because it seemed like she was ready to get out of there as well. I let out a sigh and headed over by the other Slyhterins, Mulciber and Nott I believe.

"Hey" I said in a more breathy voice then I meant too.

Warmly both of them smiled at me and greeted with a warm hello as well.

"Long time no see Nightray." Mulciber smiled in his usual friendly manner that he seemed to have with just me.

"I'd say so. A bit too long" I plastered my sweetest smile I owned as I noticed Sirius and James glaring at me as we exited the room.

"We were all thinking that as well. Care to eat lunch with us?" He asked feeling excited.

"It would be my pleasure." I answered with as much truth as I could, though Nott was still looking at me with curiosity.

"You want something." Nott finally spat out as we neared the great hall.

I blinked at him for a bit before letting a devious smile play on my lips "You found me out, but now wouldn't be a good time to discuss it." I sighed noticing how close James and Sirius were attempting to walk by us. Both Mulciber and Nott nodded in acknowledgement as we took a seat at the Slyhterin table by several of my favorite boys, Regulus being one of them. And not too far down it looked like Baskerville was sitting with Narcissa.

I gladly took a seat next to Regulus knowing it would keep me closer to the girls and I'd be able to get my questions answered no doubt.

"Nightray, how are you sweetie?" Regulus smiled the minute I took a seat next to him.

"I'm doing great, how about you?" I returned the smile and started serving myself food.

"Better now that you're here." He said in what seemed to be a truthful voice.

"No need to flatter me." I blushed a bit and tried to busy myself with my food.

"Ah, but alas you must want something if you are here willingly." Regulus sighed and looked around and the other boys for answers.

"Well excuse me! Last time I visit my friends without wanting something." I rolled my eyes trying to make a big deal out of it.

"Oh come on Night-" Mulciber started but I cut him off.

"No, I'm here for something. Really, sorry to be rude, but I need some information." I looked around seriously trying to meet their eyes.

"Sometimes I wonder why you aren't in Slyhterin" Avery laughed.

I smirked "Simple, I'm braver then all of you." I pointed to them with my fork from my salad I had been happily eating.

"Alright so spill it." Nott stated after the laughs had died down.

I took one more bite of my salad before I leaned in closely "I don't want to ruin any one's life. So don't question my motives."

"Such a Gryffindor response if they deserve it, bring it" Avery rolled his eyes as several other boys around us nodded their head in agreement.

"Trust me on this one, please." I tried not to glare at them as I attempted to keep this as serious as possible. "I need you to tell be about Lucy Baskerville." I finally said in a low voice. It clearly wasn't what they expected. Everyone just seemed to stare at me blankly for a moment before Mulciber chuckled a bit.

"Go ahead mate, she's your expertise." Mulciber patted Nott on the back. We all turned to Nott who was staring over at Baskerville with a slight smile. The smile was hard to place. It seemed very sweet but yet a bit bitter…like he had been rejected by her.

Nott stared for a bit longer as I waited patiently for a response. Finally he turned his attention over to me "What do you need to know about her?" He questioned.

"Well…" I thought for a moment on how to pinpoint it. I knew there was something up obviously. I just wanted to know what the source of her behavior was. I myself didn't know a lot about the Baskervilles, but to have a daughter in Slyhterin and for them to be pureblood, it had to have mean something. "Has she been disappearing lately and not really being herself?" I questioned feeling it was the right way to word it.

Nott narrowed his eyes for a moment as if upset about something but still spoke in a calm voice "Yes actually. Do you know anything about it?" He questioned while everyone around us was following our conversation rapidly.

"Sort of, but I'm not saying anything till I figure out why." I sighed trying not to upset them too much "When did her behavior start?" I asked gingerly, figuring I would get answers.

"Right around the time our parents thought her and I should get married once we are done with school." Nott sighed. His eyes told me he didn't object to that idea, but he did object to her behavior.

I smiled with comfort as I stood up to leave "I'll see what I can do to fix that" was all I said as I walked over to where Baskerville was. I didn't care at all if Sirius was watching or not. I needed to figure this out. I walked there with a lot of confidence, though it started to diminish with the looks the girls from Slyhterin were giving me. They were filled with cold hatred. I tried to ignore it the best I could. "Baskerville, we need to talk." I said with as much poise as I could muster.

She half snorted and turned to me with an amused look "Nightray, what could I possibly get from a conversation with you?" She questioned with malice dripping on her every word.

"You're going to want to come with me. I don't want to spill any unnecessary blood and tears." I drawled and put a hand on my hip.

She narrowed her eyes trying to figure out if I was for real or not. Or if I could even do any of the damage I claimed I could. "Fine" she finally spat out and got up to lead me out of the great hall. I didn't object as she pulled me into a classroom far away from the hustle and bustle of the school.

"Now what's so important you feel the need to threaten me, Nightray?" She spat and took a seat on a nearby desk.

I lazily cast a spell at the door not only to prevent people from coming in, but to keep the sound out as I turned to take a seat on a desk near her. "Baskerville, I'm going to put this as nicely as I can. I'd rather not cause a fight." I said honestly. She didn't say anything but rather waited impatiently for my words to come. I didn't know how I wanted to word it. It was hard to say, I didn't want to come off rude, but I knew that's what would happen.

Finally after moments of silence I spoke "What the heck do you think you are doing with Sirius Black?" was all I managed to say. And it sounded rude to me.

"How do you know about that?" She jumped of the desk and glared at me with the most venomous eyes I have ever seen.

I tried not to cower and tried to show only confidence "It doesn't matter how I know it, all that matters is you are going to ruin your life if you keep running around with him! If I found out it's only a matter of time before other Slyhterin's find out and then it's your family who finds out next!" I tried to keep my calm, but I was nearly yelling at her.

"I know…" She whispered in a tiny voice "But…what would you do if you were in my shoes?" I watched as her face softened up and her eyes began to swell with tears "I don't want to marry Nott, he's a great guy and all. But he's not who I love." She was sobbing now.

I couldn't help but to reach out and hold her tight "You'll be shunned if they find out you've been with a supposed blood traitor like Sirius." I rubbed her back and held her tightly as she cried harder.

"I know…I just…I want a life that's mine! I don't want these decisions made for me! I want to be free" She sobbed a bit more and pulled away. "Sirius and I found each other…he didn't want love just…"

"You don't have to explain, I know his motives. He's afraid to love, but you're not! You can still find it!" I smiled as warmly as I could give the situation.

"I do love someone…but my parents want me to marry into a rich family." She sobbed a little "That and he'd never love me."

I sighed "I'm sorry…but I really thinking being with Sirius will only make it worse."

"You're right, thank you Nightray." She smiled and gave me one more hug before leaving me alone in this classroom with my own thoughts.

I was exhausted by the time she left, so even though I still had Transfiguration I choice instead to go to my dorm and take a nap, as to not get sick. I was glad I did in some ways, but to be honest I wasn't too happy to head down for dinner to see only Sirius Black in the common room as if he was waiting for me. I was hoping I could walk silently by and not let him notice me, but he noticed me right away no matter how hard I tried to be invisible.

"Kobato" He didn't smile when he said my name. His words were dry and he seemed irritated. "Feel better?" He said with his eyes not meeting his words.

"I think so, last night wore me out." I smiled "You know us snogging" I attempted to lighten the mood feeling a bit guilty that I snooped in his conversation and even worse meddled in his love life. Excuse me, did I say love life? I meant sex life.

He snorted "You wouldn't let my lips be within a mile of yours."

"Hate to break it to you, but they are a bit closer than that." I laughed taking a seat next to him and abandoning my idea of dinner.

He smiled "So they are." He laughed with a wink before his face became serious. "Kobato?"

"Yes?" I responded though I was busy looking out the window.

"What were you doing with Baskerville?" He asked in a demanding and unfriendly tone.

I still couldn't look at his face as I lied "We are friends you know." I still kept my eyes out the window and stared forward at the swirling clouds.

"Kobato" He sighed causing me to shifted my eyes to his face. He didn't seem angry, rather just tired, annoyed, and was that regret in his eyes? It was hard to tell I could never tell with him. "That's like saying James hates Lily." He rolled his eyes as he said it.

"Sirius…you…She's a Slyhterin! You could ruin her life." I whispered with anger.

I watched him as he placed his hand on his forehead and let out a sigh "Look I know…It was a mistake." He reached out and grabbed my hand reassuringly. "Please, I still want your help."

I stared at his hand that was still holding mine tightly "And I want your honesty. If we are going to be friends let's tell each other everything." I looked up in his eyes letting him see that I meant business.

He nodded "Can we start with where you went last night please?" He asked gingerly feeling that I wouldn't really answer him.

"I suppose I can tell you" I said exasperated as if it were a chore. "Hospital Wing to visit Sev, but I said nothing."

"I thought so." He narrowed his eyes in disapproval. "I don't like you hanging out with Slyhterins" He said flatly after a couple of moments.

"I won't if you won't." I teased.

* * *

The rest of the week, I should say weeks leading close to Christmas break had their burdens. Homework was piling up and not just homework but bad news as well. Voldemort was apparently killing and torturing more and more and Vampire's who supported him were getting more and more violent themselves. I ended up getting two letters a day from Fay, she was all alone while any company she would normally have are out tracing down the traitors breaking Vampire laws. Trigger was too busy to write me, but Fay would say a couple of things that he had asked her pass onto me. I didn't mind, I understood, it just had me worried for break because I really wanted to see Trigger.

It made me restless and upset. But I don't think the severity of things really hit me till the day before we left for break. Sirius and I were eating together since James and Peter were in Detention and Remus was out because of the full moon. So being the good friend I was, I decided to sit with just him for dinner.

"You going home for break?" He questioned as he cut his ham up.

"I want too, though things don't look so good for me." I sighed and shook my head as I forked some green beans.

"Why not?" He stopped cutting and stared at me looking quizzical.

I took a moment to speak seeing as I had food in my mouth. "Haven't talked to Trigger in about a month now." I sighed.

Sirius gapped at me for a moment "Who are all the letters from then?" he asked in a kind voice.

"Oh just Fay. It's been a bit hectic and well…Trigger and Icy won't let her join in the tracings." I said with sympathy for Fay.

"Tracings?" I was just confusing Sirius more and more as I went on.

"Finding the Vampires breaking the laws, a lot are joining Voldmort these days. Manly the lower classes" I shook my head disapprovingly.

"Why not come over to the Potters?" Sirius' eyes widened hopefully "It would be so much fun, just like last year."

"To make it like last year we'd have to dance again" I laughed remember the night I got him kicked out of his house.

He nearly spit his pumpkin juice out at the thought "You weren't a terrible dancer. And forgive me you have a nic-" I didn't get to hear the rest of his comment, the evening post just came flying in drowning out his words.

I was expecting a letter but what I got was not just a letter. Sirius and I both stared at a rather large package that sat before us. I knew it was from Trigger because of the hand writing that was on the package, but that didn't stop me from gapping in fear. I didn't even want to know what it was.

"Open it!" Sirius said excitedly. I didn't share that feeling though which I think he could tell as my hands shook while I took off the paper one by one. After a couple minutes of pulling off the paper this beautiful black box was revealed. I couldn't help but let out a gasp at it. But I knew what was inside and I didn't want to open it one bit. But finally caving in, I moved the lid up wards to reveal a Nocturne of Death number 13, a gun meant for murdering Vampires. The gun I typically carried the Nocturne of Love number 9 doesn't kill. What it does is releases a bit of my love and kindness into the Vampire to calm them down and typically knock them out if done enough. The gun that Trigger sent me was a Nocturne of Death which would kill.

I was in great danger the minute I left the castle. That's what this meant. Trigger is worrying about me. He doesn't want me to come home for break.

I stared at the gun in depression letting my emotions take over me. I wanted to cry and I wanted to scream. The thought of this gun, me actually holding it, was making me sick. I could feel the blood flowing to my mouth and dribble down my lips. I ignored it though as I continued to stare. It was evil and a weapon I would rather not use. It was drawing up memories and feelings I didn't want to recall. I couldn't take it anymore. Staring it down wasn't helping.

I ran away. It was all I knew how to do.

My feet took me out of the great hall and out into the hard grass. I found my body falling weak as I made it to the border of the Forbidden forest and next thing I knew I was sitting on my knees sobbing. It was as if everything was crashing down around me. I felt so weak. My eyes were stinging with tears as I looked up into the sky to see it opening up in a flurry of snow. I tried not cry even harder.

The first snow of the season and here I was sitting in fear like I was so many years ago.

"Kobato, you're okay." I froze as Sirius' arms found their way around me and held me close to him. "I don't know why it upset you, but it will be okay, I promise."

"Sirius" I whispered letting my tears fall on his arms "I hate anything that reminds me that I'm different." I said with anger pent up.

"Then why be a Vampire Hunter?" He asked softly and pulled me to face him.

"Because I'm afraid" I whispered.

"Afraid of what? Vampires?" He asked as I stared up at him as he wiped my tears away.

"Yes, they scare me." I nodded shamefully before hanging my head low. I tried not to sob more as I watched the snowflakes form around us in a dizzy array. The sky had really opened up. It was a beautiful night, even if my heart was restless.

Sirius paid no attention to the little things like I was. He only had attention for me as he grabbed my face and titled it up towards his so he could peer into my eyes. "I know they do, so why do you put yourself through it?" He didn't let go of my chin. He wanted to hear my answer and he wanted to hear it as well.

"I want to overcome my fears and to do that I have to dive right in." I smiled with hope.

Sirius let go of my face and pulled me into a tight hug "I wish I was as brave as you." He whispered softly in my ear.

"You can be" I whispered right back squeezing him reassuringly.

"That's why I asked you to help me to learn to love. No more snog dates for me." He pulled away and smiled at me confidently and proudly.

"Really?" my eyes lit up with optimism. I got up slightly and wiped my eyes so I could read his eyes better. It was hard because it was dark. I lit my wand and shined it in his eyes. "Yeah I don't believe you." I laughed letting my wand drop down to my legs.

"Fine don't have faith in me." He sighed and turned away pretending to pout. There was a moment of silence before he spoke again "I mean it…this loneness, I want it to go away. And snogging doesn't help so there has to be…there has to be something more." He said a near whisper. His back was still turned to me when he said it. I couldn't help but to think that he meant it. I didn't need his facial expression to feel the emotions that radiated through him as he said it. "Anyways…" he cleared his throat trying to avoid the awkwardness that was beginning to form. "Kobato? Why were you so upset over that gun?" he asked feeling it was safe to bring it up.

"That's a Nocturne of Death." I said feeling the tears start to swell back into my eyes. "I'm no longer safe…it was making me feel how I felt many years ago. When it first happened" I said probably adding more to his confusion. "I was so afraid back then…I stopped talking." I let the tears flow out as I stared up into the sky. "It had been over a year since I had spoken. I was getting made fun of for it too…and it was getting worse because I'd be going to Hogwarts the next fall…no one could get me to say a word." I continued to stare up at the sky, but I knew Sirius' was staring at me, hanging on my every word. "Then one winter day after training to protect myself, Trigger and I were walking around and it started to snow." A smile found its way across my lips "I remember him turning to me and got done on one knee and with his Vampire powers he produced one single white rose. It was a gesture that I can't even describe to you how much it lifted my heart and my fears. I remember he smiled to me and said 'to my beautiful angel' and it meant the world to me." I let my eyes fall off the sky and wonder to Sirius' eyes. His eyes were curious and kind as I carried on "I remember looking at Trigger with a smile and in a whisper I said 'Thank you'. It was my first words in over a year." I paused as I watched Sirius' lips form into a soft smile. The gesture made my lips smile "And it was at that moment Trigger said 'Whenever the first snow comes we will have to celebrate for your voice was found and the heavens have opened up in joy." I laughed thinking it may have been cheesy, but being as young and as fragile as I was it meant the world. "It was probably snowing out by him earlier. He sent that not just for my safety but as a reminder. I…it just hurts sometimes. Not being normal." I looked away from Sirius finally and turned my face down to the snow covered grounds.

"Well you're about to get even more un-normal if you don't get inside." Sirius stood up and held out a gentle hand for me to grasp. "Dork"


	20. Chapter 20: Opportunity

**Chapter 20: It's easy just to wait, but I say seize the key of opportunity. **

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews and I hope you enjoyed this slightly overdue chapter. (I wanted to make it a bit longer and that took longer than I thought it would o.o)  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

* * *

Sirius decided that it was best that I hang out with him in his dorm to warm up. I had a feeling though he just didn't know what to do with himself because everyone was out and he promised himself not to find a snog date. I didn't mind, but I would have rather of spent the evening with the girls seeing as I was still a bit shaken up about everything. But on the plus side I am able to work out my mission and find out more about Sirius, the more I knew the better I could work on my mission. The time was flying by too fast…

"You sure you feeling alright?" Sirius broke my thoughts for the millionth time and asked for the millionth time how I was doing. He kept adding more blankets and making me drink the hot chocolate he snagged from the kitchens. He was afraid I was going to get ill. I doubted that, I feel like he was being worse than Lily, and that's saying something.

"You ask once more and you'll be feeling ill." I glared at him quickly before sipping some more hot chocolate.

He sighed and moved over a bit closer to me. We were currently on his bed wrapped up in separate blankets and to be honest I was enjoying it. "Doll, I wish you would be serious." He sighed looking at me with concern.

"Can't be you sorry" I teased meeting his eyes with a giggle.

"I know you will never be as suave as me, but really now." He rolled his eyes not amused by my joke. He then took this opportunity to tip my mug up to my lips to drink more hot chocolate. Yes, he was over worrying.

"Look you don't bother James or Remus this much about their health. Why should I be any different?" It was my turn to roll my eyes out of annoyance.

He looked at me for a moment trying to find the right words before he poked my forehead "You're my first female friend, I want to treat you right." He paused "Besides you are supposed to treat girls different then boys. It would be weird if I treated James like a girl." He laughed.

"Sirius, you've had other girls that were friends. Heck you have friends that are girls." I pointed out and took another sip of my hot chocolate.

"See but they are all doable, if you know what I mean" He winked "Not saying you aren't, I just know you'd never fall for my charm. You didn't the first day we met and you won't ever." He said with a bit of a disappointment. Or what I took as disappointment.

I laughed "I don't know whether to be flattered or offended."

"I'd say flattered, I thought about you that much to realize that you're different from the rest." He shook his head in honesty.

I set my hot chocolate down on his nightstand and crawled towards him "You honestly think I am? You think I haven't fallen for your charm?" I asked leaning closer and closer to his ear in a seductive way "Yeah, hasn't worked yet." I laughed and backed away, taking in every inch of his face that wore a priceless expression.

He stared at me a bit more before shaking his head a couple of times, messing his hair up in the processes "You are such a tease. Why are we friends?" He laughed.

I shrugged "Because I'm adorable." I answered the first thing that came to mind.

"That's just because you are so tiny." He said while shaking a finger at me "I don't know what I'd do if you cut your hair off, grew a bit taller, and got some more curves to you. I don't think we could be friends."

"What?" I said in disbelieve "Are you saying because I look like a child you'll never have any interest in me?" I raised an eyebrow.

"No not that, I'd have a hard time not snogging you if you became more womanly." He laughed as my expression changed from confusion to anger.

"Is that all you think about?" I rolled my eyes and then shook my head in disbelief.

"No, but seriously, I do love your long hair. It's the best thing on you." I blinked at his words a couple of times before it dawned on me. That was a compliment. It started to make my cheeks feel warm and my heart get this funny feeling. I couldn't describe it. I didn't like it though, whatever this feeling was…

"T-thanks" I spluttered out trying not to look at him so I wouldn't blush.

"It's your turn, what's the best thing on me?" He questioned hopefully.

"Best thing on you?" I quickly said trying to shake off that odd feeling "All of you, of course." I said boosting his ego so he would hopefully not notice my discomfort.

"No seriously" He said with a light punch to my shoulder.

"Hmmm" I thought for a moment "You're eyes, I love how mysterious they are. I could stare at them for hours." I said truthfully.

My comment didn't faze him at all. He just smiled in his cocky manner and said "Really? Huh, I'll keep that in mind."

I tried not to roll my eye at his comment and let it go. I didn't want to ruin the fun that we were having. I'm glad I didn't because we ended up having a great evening, soon to be joined by James and Peter. The rest of us had a enjoyable time talking and telling stories. It was one of the best evenings I have had in a while. I was glad I was there to be honest, with them. But I was a bit sad when morning came around and we all had to pack up and head on the Hogwarts express to head home. The train ride was just as much fun as our evening was. Lily and Raven were staying at Hogwarts, so it was James, Peter, Sirius and myself who all shared a compartment. At one point the fangirls all walked by and asked to have a word with me in the hallway. That proved to be amusing because Sirius and James kept playing prank spells on them as they questioned me as to what was wrong with Sirius, I of course knew but I felt no need to share with them.

But the fun was short lasted because once we pulled into the station I was in for a surprise. Trigger was not there to pick me up. In fact, no one was there for me. I frowned and unwillingly followed James and Sirius over to the Potters.

"Oh James look at you!" Mrs. Potter squealed and threw her son into a hug before grabbing Sirius next "Sirius you too, look how handsome you've gotten."

"Now now, let the children bre-" Mr. Potter started but was cut off by another squeal from Mrs. Potter.

"Kobato! Goodness look at you! I forgot how adorable you are!" She squealed and threw me into a death threaten hug.

"Hi Mrs. Potter" I gasped through her tight grip.

"Where is Trigger?" Mr. Potter questioned looking around the station.

"Not sure, I haven't heard from him in a while." I sighed hoping he would be here.

"I bet he got held back at the latest tracing. They've been so-" Mrs. Potter started but was cut off, by a familiar elegant female voice.

"Sorry I'm late." I turned to see Fay standing behind us with a huge grin.

"Fay!" I squealed and quickly jumped up into her arms. She threw me around in the air before setting me down. We both turned to the Potters and Sirius at the same time with a grand smile.

"Good to see you again Mr. and Mrs. Potter" Fay smiled at the couple and shook hands with them. I stared at them confused as they exchanged greetings. James and Sirius just stared at Fay with jaws open, clearly gapping at her beauty.

"You too Rainsworth, but please lets drop the formalities." Mrs. Potter smiled. "In any case is Trigger out on a tracing with Icy?" She questioned looking at Fay with concern and worry for the boys.

"Yes, that's why I'm late they need some Aurora's on the case. They requested you two even though it's your day off." Fay shook her head with a sigh. "They understand if you say no."

"Both of us?" Mr. Potter questioned looking from his wife then to Fay.

"Yes, sadly" Fay said in a heavy voice "It's a big case, might actually get some Death Eaters with it."

"What about us?" I questioned trying to figure out how we would get out of the station. I know I could apparate but then what?

"I'm going to take you kiddos back to the Rainsworth Manor, its safest." Fay patted Sirius and I on the back who she was standing nearest by. I noticed that Sirius wore a nasty look upon his face as she touched him. I wonder if Fay noticed it too because her hand quickly dropped off of his back and she threw her arms around me in a hug.

"Sounds like a plan." Mrs. Potter smiled "Where are we meeting? Did they tell you?" Mrs. Potter changed to a more serious tone.

"Grandview Avenue." Fay answered quickly. And just like that Mr. and Mrs. Potter left without a second thought, as if they knew where this Grand Avenue was.

There were a couple moments of silence where we all stared at each other, but before I knew it Fay was sending our luggage ahead and I was to be Apparating with Sirius to the manor. Fay thought that would be best, she had been reading Sirius' mind and was not amused at all. The hate radiating off of him was apparently sickening. And Fay couldn't stand it…it didn't get better though as we entered into the Manor itself.

"Fay?" I questioned while closing my eyes noticing it wasn't just Rainsworth in this Manor. I breathed in deep "Ebony? And Castrogiovanni?"

"Yes, our Manor has become headquarters." Fay answered without looking at me. She was busy staring at Sirius, who had a disgust look upon his face. "I'm surprise you could tell Elliot's here, he's recovering." She finally broke her gaze on Sirius and brought it upon me. "I should probably go attend to him." She sighed.

"I'll do it, he's in the Blue room, correct?" I smiled nodding over to the grand staircase.

"Trigger would be so proud of you!" Fay squealed before throwing me into a big hug. "Yes…sorry. And I'll put your stuff on the 4th floor in the pink room."

"Sounds good!" I smiled quickly before heading for the stairs.

"Oh! Kobato!" Fay called after me "Remember you're Nocturne of Love, just in case." She said in concern.

"Always have it on me" I waved airly and kept walking.

"I'm coming with you then." Sirius quickly said in an angered voice. Both Fay and I eyed each other up at his hostile words.

"No no no, she'll be fine. You're coming with me Black." Fay didn't give him a chance to protest as she happily pulled him and James up the stairs ahead of me, no doubt to take them to their rooms. Sirius looked livid as he passed by me. James looked amused and seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this. Sighing at his strange behavior I walked on to the 3rd floor where Elliot was being kept for care. I ran into several Vampires on my way, all of which greeted me with joy. They all seemed to have the same reaction. Elliot's was no different as I made my way into his room. He was over in the left corner of the room in the bed laying there with a couple bandages here and there. The room was extremely dark, seeing as it was day time (Vampires don't enjoy light due to their heighten sensitivity to things), it caused me to have a hard time seeing his beautiful soft face.

"Elliot?" I whispered cautiously trying not to wake him as I stood before him. I was squinting trying to see his figure as I waited for my eyes to adjust to the light.

"Kobato Nightray." He smiled and turned towards me "I'm glad you made it here safely. We all thought for sure Trigger would make you stay at Hogwarts." He added while extending his arms out for me to hold. I pulled him gently into a tight hug and carefully kissed his neck, as was custom between Vampires. He returned the favor, though I was a bit shaky to accept it.

"That's what I've been hearing." I sighed and took a seat on the edge of his bed "Though I feel pretty safe here. I saw a couple Castrogiovanni's walking around."

"Doesn't mean much though, it's been hectic." He sighed and put a weary hand on his forehead.

"What happened to you?" I questioned well getting up to grab new bandages on his bedside table.

"Got caught watching the meeting between a couple of Death Eaters that were giving instructions to the Gossamer's." He said while sitting up better so I could pull the bandages that were covering his chest and replace them with clean ones.

"Gossamer? I haven't heard of them at all" I frowned and began taking off the bandages.

He let out a groan of pain, even though I was being gentle. "Pretty new to be honest, branched off of the Cogsworth's if that says anything."

"Speaks loads" I shook my head and wiped the wash cloth down his front. "I bet this would heal better if you had human blood to drink. Wish I could help." I sighed.

"Kobato!" I heard someone slam the door and angrily say my name. Both Elliot and I turned to see Sirius standing at the door looking upset and James just looking annoyed. Apparently Fay didn't keep them busy for long. I didn't see what he was so upset by. I just ignored him and went back to the bandages.

"And who might these fine lads be?" Elliot questioned with a warm smile. I tried not to snort, fine lads were not the choice of words I would have used, but that's just me.

"James Potter" James said happily and held out a warm hand, which Elliot gladly took.

"Elliot Ebony." He smiled "Heard a lot about you from your parents. Met them a couple of times" Elliot added.

"All good things I do hope." James smiled in a cocky manner. It was a smile I hadn't seen in a while now that I think about it. "Oh and I do hope you've heard of this charming young lad, Sirius Black!" James happily grabbed Sirius and pushed him forward. Sirius didn't look amused at all.

"He's not going to bite Sirius." I rolled my eyes and I picked up the dirty bandages, seeing as I just finished his re-covering his chest wounds.

"I never said he would." Sirius glared.

"Then what's your problem? This attitude problem has to go." I stood up as tall as I could, coming up to only his waist. It made me feel weak, but I knew I could stand up to him.

"There's nothing wrong. It's all in your head, Nightray." He snapped as I cringed. He used my surname. Something was wrong.

I pulled out my wand and shoved it at his neck. "Grow up, Sirius."

"You're one to talk." He sneered hitting a nerve deep within me. I watched him and stared deep into his eyes as he grabbed his wand out at this point and pointed it at me.

"Knock it off you two." James calmly said as he stood between the two of us.

"Sirius Black, I hate you." I snapped and stormed out of the room. I headed blindly to where ever Fay was and stormed in. She was sitting in the kitchen with a couple of other girls whose names I didn't seem to know. But she noticed the problem right away and looked at me with concern. "Let's cut my hair short." I even caught myself by surprise at the words that spewed out of my mouth. I think it had to do with Sirius' words that were ringing through my head. He liked my hair…and right now I hated him. I didn't want him to like anything on me.

"Your hair? Short?" Fay stopped for a moment and gapped at me before grasping the situation. "Yes alright" She still stared at me for a bit longer before breaking the gaze we were holding. "What happened?" She finally asked not wanting to invade my mind.

"I'm upset, Sirius is being downright rude. I don't get his prejudice." I threw my arms up in defeat.

"He's jealous." Fay said flatly. I blinked at her for a couple of moments before it dawned on me.

"Jealous? Jealous of what?" I questioned while putting my hands on my hips.

"He's afraid we are all going to steal you away from him and Hogwarts." Fay smiled.

"You were reading his mind?" I laughed. If Sirius only knew…he'd probably hate her even more.

"Yes, I was a bit curious as to what he's so upset about." Fay laughed nervously. "Can you blame me? At least I found out he's afraid we are going to bite you and you'll just stop being his friend."

I laughed as well "He's still being immature." I growled after my laughter died down.

"Still want to cut your hair?" Fay asked just nodding to my comment.

"I think so, let's give him a bit of a shocker." I smirked playfully before we turned and went our separate ways.

* * *

The evening was a bit of a nail biter. James was waiting for his parents to come back. I was waiting for Trigger to come back. And Fay was waiting for Icy and several other friends to come back. Of course the evening would have gone a lot better had Sirius not been a fun sucker the whole evening. Dinner was well…filled with tension as Sirius sat there growling like a dog with a temper. Meanwhile Fay, James, Elliot and I all laughed and talked endlessly. The fun seemed to end too soon because Sirius was dragging James upstairs as soon as we were done eating to sit in their room. Fay, Elliot and I couldn't help but sigh. But it was alright because we were soon joined by the several other Vampires who had been popping in and out all day for dessert. That I found enjoyable and helped me forget Sirius' sour behavior, but it didn't ease the worry that was pitted in our stomachs.

After a couple hours 10 o' clock rolled around and Fay and I finally excused ourselves as the discussions started to heat up and get a bit more depressed between the Vampires. Her and I happily left and went up to my bedroom, which was across from the boys, and spent the evening pampering ourselves. Fay personally cut my hair to my shoulders in a cute fashion. And then from there we both painted each other's nails and had a great evening. And before I knew it we both fell asleep on my bed finally letting go of our worry and troubles.

I wish it was that easy to just let go, but around 2 am I woke up with a start. Something didn't feel right. Something wasn't right. There was something here that didn't feel right? Maybe I was just losing my mind. Regardless I quickly grabbed my wand and my gun and put them in their proper place as I wondered out of my room, leaving Fay sleeping, and headed into the dark hallways. I tried not to let my fear get to me as I silently walked down to the first floor. There was a bit of noise going on. I didn't know whether I wanted my wand or my gun. I decided that my gun would be more helpful, so I tightly put that in my hands and held it out ready if I needed to fire it.

I walked on and on, till I found the source of the noise. It was in the ballroom. I won't lie, I was shaking as I went to turn the handle on the door. I had a hard time opening it, but I didn't get to open it. Someone had grabbed my shoulder in a gentle manner, but the gesture still made me jump, whirl around, and fire my gun.

With a bright pink light now surrounding us as the bullet hit the wall, I noticed it was Trigger standing there with an exhausted expression laced upon his face. "Trig?" I mumbled quickly and put my gun away.

"Kobato?" He questioned right back. I nodded in response as he reached forward to touch my now shorter hair. "You cut your hair."

"Haven't seen you in months a-" My response was drowned out as the door to the ballroom was now open and shinning bright light upon Trigger and I.

"We heard gun shots! What happened?" I recognized Pandora Ebony's voice right away as people surrounded us.

"I'm so sorry, it's my fault." I bowed in apology. "Trigger scared me and my fingers slipped."

"Not a worry, love." A voice I didn't recognized warmly responded. I stilled turned to her and smiled warmly. I knew no doubt she knew who I was. "Trigger, why don't you and Kobato go back upstairs? Get some rest, I'll take care of the rest." She warmly smiled at the two of us. Trigger for some odd reason nodded and seemed to listen all to willingly as he lead me back to the staircase.

"Let's get you back in your room to sleep, I don't want you getting ill." He put a gentle hand on my shoulders and guided me up the stairs.

"I don't want to wake Fay, she's asleep in my room." I said truthfully in a soft voice.

"Then we can go to my room." He smiled warmly and led me up to his room. "I suspect that's the reason for your hair? You two had a little bit of fun." He questioned.

"Something like that." I shifted my eyes a bit and carried on. He didn't say anything after that and let an awkward silence fill in between us as we headed into his bedroom. I smiled noticing it looked just like his at home, with the large king size bed right in the middle of the room. I immediately headed right for it and curled up waiting for him to take a seat. He of course headed for the bathroom and got ready first before he joined me a couple minutes later. I didn't mind. It felt like old times, when we were children. I'd often come visit the Vampire dorms during the day just to see him, but it had been ages since I did that, obviously.

"Long day?" I questioned as he finally sat down next to me.

"Yes, if you can imagine." He sighed and rubbed his hands into his eyes.

"It was no party over here, if that makes you feel better." I let out a yawn, letting today catch up with me.

"What happened? None of you were in danger right?" He quickly asked and turned to me looking for any sign of injury.

"Oh! No, we are all okay…" I said quickly regretting the way I worded it. "No, just Sirius was being a downright prat."

"What over?" Trigger questioned well getting under the covers so we could converse better.

"Jealously, from what Fay says." I closed my eyes letting the drowsiness hit me.

"Is that what kept you up tonight?" He questioned.

"No, I felt something that didn't seem to belong." I answered truthfully.

Trigger was silent for a moment and then finally spoke in a somber voice "You'll make a great Vampire."

I opened my eyes and leaned over towards him "What do you mean?"

"The fact that you could sense that we had a Death Eater in the house, you should be proud." He smiled warmly and patted me on the head.

I on the other hand frowned "I don't want too…" My voice trailed off.

"You are in a lot of danger, I don't want to lose you." He scolded ending the conversation.

I tried not to sigh as I rolled over to fake me being tired. I eventually did fall asleep some time after Trigger let to go sleep on the couch in his room. I slept great and by the time the afternoon rolled around I was up and ready for the day. Smiling I threw on one of my favorite dresses and made it down to the dining room for some lunch, that I knew would be served.

"Nice of you to join us" Fay teased and I took a seat right next to Sirius, who looked at me with distaste.

"I thought it was" I laughed right back "I'll be on time next time."

"Good, Trigger was begging to talk to you." Fay rolled her eyes.

"I don't think we've met." The conversation between Fay and I ended as my eyes landed on James who was holding an arm out for me to take.

"James?" I stared at his hand for a moment before it dawned on me. I probably did look like a whole different person with my hair short. "James, it's me Kobato."

"What…what happened to your hair?" James stared at me wildly as Sirius just did a double take.

"I lost it…woke up this morning and it was gone! That's why I didn't make it to breakfast, I was busy looking for it." I laughed.

James looked at me for a moment before laughing as well "Kobato, you're a dork."

"I tr-" I started but Sirius cut me off.

"Can we talk?" It was the first time since we were at Hogwarts I heard him speak in a gentle voice. I gladly accepted the offer and pulled him into my favorite room in this whole Manor, the library. I enjoyed this room because it was so spacious and had large windows. The books were all lined up on tall shelves against the walls leaving plenty of room for walking. I kept walking all the way up to the window and took a seat on the cushioned ledged and waited for Sirius to do the same. He didn't seem as upset now that he was away from everyone and it was just the two of us, it was nice.

"So what's bothering you?" I questioned looking at him with concerned eyes.

"First off you cut your hair…you're ugly now." He said in a voice that told me he was half joking. I just frowned at him "And second off, I don't like it here."

"I figured you didn't." I sighed and turned away looking into the snowy gardens. "Why don't you like it here?"

He thought for a moment before he responded "It's not something…I'm used to." He said in a voice not like his own. That alone let me know that he wasn't comfortable here.

"I promise you they are the kindest people you will meet." I smiled and turned to him. He was watching me carefully "And don't worry if I become a Vampire I won't suck your blood." I teased. Though that was the wrong thing to say, Sirius looked at me with a disgust face the minute I said it. "Sorry, it was a joke."

"Kobato?" He looked at me with a heavy face. I couldn't quit put my finger on it.

I swallowed hard not knowing what was coming. "Yes?" I said in a small timid voice.

"I have a confession to make." My eyes widened at his words. The way he said it was so…it was so serious, nothing like any voice he ever spoke in. I didn't say anything and I waited for him to speak. "I..I…" He stopped seeming to have trouble with his words. "I know why you are so ill all the time."

His words were not what I was expecting. I don't really know what I was expecting but that wasn't it. I blinked for a moment before I said anything. I tried to convey as much confidence as I could find within me. "Why am I so ill all the time then?" My voice came out cocky and playful as I leaned up closer to him.

"You have Vampire Reflex." He said in a sad voice. I blinked at him for a moment. It was one thing for Remus to figure it out, but Sirius.

I stood up feeling upset and losing to my emotions "And?" I said flatly though I felt like my words were thick with tears pushing their way up. I turned around to hide from him as I tried to force the tears back into me.

"I don't want you to become a mutant." He said while getting up as well. I felt him stand behind me and put gentle arms around my waist. I didn't protest, I was upset...it was something I wanted.

"I'm not too worried about it. Everyone here is very respectable." I smiled while closing my eyes and grabbing his hands that were resting on my waist.

There was a long silence before Sirius spoke, it was his turn to have a heavy voice "How did it happen?"

I sighed fearing for that question. "I don't…I…" My words were fumbled around as I felt tears I had been forcing away find their way to my cheeks. "Just…can…Trigger saved me. I trust him with my life…can I just le-l-leave" I broke down now as my body crashed to the ground and I felt the tears pour out now. "It at that…" I finished letting myself fully cry now. Sirius just held on me even tighter now as I cried harder. He waited for it to pass before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry." Were the simple words he whispered to me.

"Don't be sorry…in a way, you saved me too." I smiled weakly at him before I grabbed onto him and held on in a tight embrace.

"What do you mean?" He questioned not understanding me at all.

I smiled and decided to take the opportunity to help farther in my mission and gain some personal sanity. "I've learn a lot from you. I'm glad we are friends too."

"Mean it?" He pulled away from my hug and looked at me with a sparkle in his eye.

"I wouldn't li-" I started to speak but someone had opened the door. Sirius and I quickly jumped apart and cleared our throats awkwardly.

"Oh I'm sorry Kobato." I furrowed my brow as I turned to see the woman from this morning who had told Trigger and I to go to bed.

"Not a problem…errr" I honestly didn't know her name and I felt bad that I didn't.

"Where are my manners? Of course I know so much about you and you so little of me!" She smiled and rushed forward. "I'm Scarlet Castrogiovanni" She said happily well extending an arm out. I of course grabbed it right away and kissed it with my lips while giving a low bow.

"It would be my honor." I said, truly meaning it.

"Please, two royalties shouldn't need to be so formal." She waved an arm as if brushing away what just happened.

"Hardly, I'm not…well you know." I blushed and kicked my feet.

"You are more than you think. Fay has told me a lot about you. And you as well, Sirius Black." She smiled and turned to Sirius who was staring at her in confusion.

"What does that mean?" Sirius turned to me searching for answers.

"Don't worry about it, Fay's…Fay." I laughed, Sirius didn't find it amusing, it just built onto his confusion.

"Anyways I'll leave you two alone." Scarlet put a gentle hand on my wrist "I just need a book. We are getting grief from the movement going on now."

"Oh? How so?" I questioned actually being concerned.

"Trigger would know best, but he's out running other errands." She paused for a moment and looked at me with an odd expression. "You might actually know!" Scarlet's eyes lit up as she clapped happily. "Follow me!" She quickly said and started walking out of the room. I stared for a moment looking confused before I grabbed Sirius hand and followed Scarlet through the Manor to the weapon room.

It was a sight to see. Along the walls were various swords, bows and arrows, guns, pretty much any weapon you could dream of. But no the interesting thing was what was on top of the glass case in the middle of the room. It was a gun that I had only seen once in my life. I knew it was a vicious weapon and one I would never use. I couldn't help but walk up to it and hold it in my hands, dropping Sirius hand at once.

"This…" I stared at it running my hands through it.

"It's what injured Elliot. We were able to get a hold of one last night after the Death Eaters were sent to Azkaban." She said in a serious voice standing next to me.

"There were Death Eaters here last night?" Sirius asked with widened eyes.

"Yes, Dementors too…where were you?" I teased as I continued to examine the gun.

Sirius was about to retort but Scarlet was much quicker at responding. "Do you know what kind of Hunting weapon it is?"

"Nocturne of Blood number" I paused and looked over it a bit more. The red jewel on the handle was enough to tell me "looks like a number 8."

"I've never heard of a Nocturne of Blood." Scarlet grabbed the gun out of my hands and was looking at it herself with a furrowed brow.

"Forbidden, happened in the 1890's." I said with a nod of my head "Elliot's going to need human blood and I mean that. He's going to be slowly dying otherwise."

Scarlet didn't say anything as she stared at it a bit longer. Then before I knew it she was rushing out of the room, no doubt to carry the news to the others, leaving Sirius and I alone.

"I so wish I could help him." I stiffed a cry. "These are vial weapons. Vampire hunters believe death should be quick if it needs to come to that. Blood guns were outlawed for the reason; they cause a slow painful death." I looked up at Sirius, but it was strange, my vision was blurred and I was starting to feel weak. A wave of sickness was passing over me. I ignored it as best as I could.

"Well come on, let's go find James." Sirius smiled not noticing my dizzy spell that was waving over me.

"S-sure" I took a deep breath hoping not to cough.

"Kobato?" Sirius questioned looking at me as I grabbed roughly onto the center table.

I felt myself slip to the ground as blood forced its way up and I began to cough. "Go" was the only words I could get out of my mouth as I grasped for air. Sirius didn't move though, he just continued to watch me with a horrified look upon his face as I coughed blood unto the blue carpet. After a moment or two of me just coughing blood it must have clicked in Sirius' head to do something because he moved from the spot he was rooted in and grabbed onto me tightly. The only thing this was doing for me was support. It wasn't stopping the blood from coming up and me coughing it up.

"Sir-ius" I mumbled out.

"What do yo-" He started to respond but the crash of the door opening made him stop. My blood caught attention.

"What happened?" Fay nearly screamed as she came next to me. I was still coughing as she gently grabbed onto me. I tried to smile, but it wasn't working, I couldn't stop coughing.

"We were just talking then…then all of sudden she was on the ground coughing!" Sirius said quickly in a panicked voice. It was all Fay needed and before I knew it several Vampires were around me moving me to my room. Sirius never leaving my side for a moment…


	21. Chapter 21: Right and Wrong

**Chapter 21: Where does the boundary of right and wrong fade?**

**A/N: Thanks to Strange Girl221, The Weatherwitch, and DanniGirrl001 for the reviews. DanniGirrl001, to fill in some questions and comments: I haven't forgotten that Kobato is on a mission, rather Kobato herself hasn't really accepted it. She's still young and was thrown into this too quickly. This is told in her view, so she's still searching and really doesn't get why it's her. But she is about to get a slap in the face pretty soon. She still needs time to mature, she's only a teenager after all. Which also explains why she has been confused on the love for Trigger and Albus, she is still learning of different kinds of love and is learning as she goes along. In any case, enjoy this chapter it answers a lot of this even before I read the reviews :O. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

I don't remember much after I was taken to my room. I know there was a bit of a scramble to find me Trigger's blood. And I couldn't really tell you if they gave it to me or not, but I do remember waking up. I woke up to see fangs covered in blood. I panicked, wouldn't you? I remember grabbing my wand screaming as I blasted out a window and turned into a dove, my animgus form and ignored all the scream, scrambles, and spells to get me back and flew through the window. It took me a while to calm down. Can you blame me? I was frightened that the blood was mine and that I was becoming a Vampire, or worse a Mutant. But once I calmed down and realized that I'm fine and it was probably Trigger's blood that he was giving to me, seeing as I felt fine an hour later, I realized I was too afraid of being wrong to go back. I was cold as I still sat as a dove in the tree that bordered the forest and probably about to freeze to death, but my pride was worth more than my health apparently.

I sat there for at least 7 hours until sundown started rolling around and that's when it hit me that it was Christmas Eve. Once I realized that I felt more inclined to come inside. So that's what I did. I gathered all the courage I could to sneak into my bedroom, which was empty and slipped into my bathroom to take a warm bath and get ready for the dinner that would be coming soon.

I got ready as slow as I could and then finally left my bathroom and headed into my bedroom so I could slowly sneak down to the dinner table.

"Where do you think you are going?" I stop mid-step and turned around in a brisk fashion to see Sirius and James casually leaning on my bed. Sirius was the one who spoke in a bored drawl as he played with the teddy bear I had gotten for my birthday.

"Dinner…I'm kind of hungry you see." I smirked trying to act as if I did nothing wrong, like oh running away for the whole day.

"You think so, eh?" James kicked off the bed and took several big steps over to me with narrowed eyes.

"Just this once yeah" I said trying not to feel intimidated. But it was hard because soon Sirius was standing next to James and staring down at me as well.

"What say ye, James?" Sirius smirked widely over to James who was rubbing his hands together while looking at me with anticipation. I took a step backwards as my eyes traveled between the two of them.

"No" was all I was able to let slide from my lips.

"I say yes, ignore this little lassy." James clapped his hands happily before he threw me over his shoulder. I screamed and protested, but he ignored. Sirius just followed behind with a smirk.

"You could put me down." I screamed loudly letting my fist collide into James' back.

"I think not." Sirius smirked happily before placing my teddy bear in my hand "That should make you happy, Kobato." He said while patting me on my head.

"What did I do wrong?" I rolled my eyes but didn't protest any farther as we made our way down to the dining hall.

"Nothing at all" James laughed and hoisted me up a little higher on his shoulder as we entered the dining hall. All around us there were squeals of joy and happiness as it clicked that they had found me.

"I told you she'd be alright." Fay happily said as she lifted me off of James' shoulder.

"I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself." I growled.

"Yes, but we need you well for tomorrow." Fay grinned a grin that I didn't like at all.

Narrowing my eyes I said "What's tomorrow?"

"Christmas" Trigger said flatly. I hadn't even notice him up until this point.

"Obviously…" I looked around at several people who were in the room for answers. I didn't know what made Christmas so special, but there was something up. And that something, I found out the next day after opening presents was a grand ball. Everyone was in a hurry after opening the presents for this warm party that would be taking place. I didn't blame them, the daily life here was very doom and gloom with all the fear of Death Eaters killing or collecting more. And poor Elliot, he was slowly dying until we found someone to give him human blood. But the problem with that was that so many laws in place protected against drinking anything but Vampire blood and blood wines or potions that simulate Vampire blood. Of course having the Castrogiovanni helped a lot. They were bending the rules just so that Elliot could survive. They just needed a bit more time before he was cured.

But all that was cast aside for the evening as we all dressed our best and shined our finest.

"You almost ready girls?" Fay and I both jumped as there was a knock on her door. The voice belonged to Icy.

"Almost!" We both cried as we added a couple more touches to our hair.

"Good the foods about to get cold just waiting for the main star to arrive." Icy teased through the door. Fay and I both laughed as I quickly ran to the door to open it.

"And who mi-" I was about to ask who the main star was of the evening but the sight of Sirius standing next to Icy in his dress robes made me stop as it sent a shiver down my spine. I had seen him in dress clothing before, but something about him was just so…handsome. I couldn't put my finger on it. Something about the way he was carrying himself tonight seemed so out of character. He seemed less pompous and more like his true self that he kept deep within his heart.

"What?" Sirius asked with anger in his voice. The moment was lost, he was back to his usual character in just that one second. I shook my head and looked away at James who was looking just as handsome. Seriously, what was wrong with me within that moment?

"Nothing, I just thought an idiot like you would never clean up so well. Good job." I smirked playfully as I pushed past, to make my way to the stairs.

"You as well Kobato, you as well" Sirius grumbled.

"What about me?" James whined quickly walking after me.

"James, you are-" I started but Sirius cut me off.

"A man of my dreams!" Sirius said in a sing-song voice to his best friend. I tried not to roll my eyes.

"Now now Children" Icy scolded in a playful manner "Let's remember to be formal, especially you Kobato." There was a small pause "You as well Fay." Icy turned to his sister with a near death glare.

"Fine." She huffed as she grabbed on my arm and escorted me into the ball room with Sirius, James and Icy at our heels.

The ballroom was full of small tables off to the side. In the center was a beautiful dance floor with small snow crystals falling gracefully to the dance floor but disappearing just before they landed. Everything was covered with Christmas festive, it was beautiful and heart lifting just like everyone here needed. The lights were dim and many people were already seat at their tables waiting for food.

I noted that everyone who was here, were regular people that we would see in and out of the mansion on a daily basis, meaning everyone who was fighting Voldemort and the traitors. That thought alone made me happy. It was people I was comfortable with and people I was used to be around. I honestly couldn't say I didn't know anyone who was in the room. Everyone that was there I knew from some way or another. Even so, I was still seated at a table with Mr. and Mr. Potter, James, Sirius, Trigger, Icy, and Fay. Close by was the whole Rainsworth family. At the head table tonight were the Castrogiovanni's. Even though it wasn't the Castrogiovanni's manor, they were the ones leading this party. Usually the Castrogiovanni's hold one at their manor every year, but they figured that would make them an easy target for Voldemort, Death Eaters, and traitors alike. I didn't blame them at all. I knew tonight would go well.

Dinner was a quiet event within its self. Before we started eating Mercy Castrogiovanni, the head of the family and of the European council gave a strong speech about the war, leaving many of us to just ponder or talk quietly during our meal. It was a nice and slowly everyone started finishing dinner and began to make their way to the dance floor to share in beautiful harmony the rhythms of their bodies.

"Can I take this dance?" I smiled as I watched Mr. Potter ask Mrs. Potter onto the dance floor. They were just several Aurora's that were invited here tonight, several of the other ones were already on the floor. It made my heart swell with pride to be in the wizarding world right now.

"Of course sweetie!" Mrs. Potter answered in her usual happy voice as she grabbed onto Mr. Potter's hand delicately and headed out to the dance floor.

I let out a dreamy sigh as I watched them dance.

"Would you like to dance?" I blinked out of my dreamy state and stared at Trigger who was holding out a hand asking me to take it.

"It would be my honor." I smiled warmly as I took his hand. Gladly I let him lead us out onto the dance floor as we gracefully danced and swayed to the music.

"I'm glad you came home." Trigger said after a couple moments of us dancing.

"I'm glad too…though I know you didn't want me here." I sighed knowing it was the truth.

"Only for your safety, but right now you are safe." He smiled and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead as we twirled and spun in place.

"I won't be for long will I?" I questioned feeling his emotions of fear rooted deep within.

"No, but you have a mission to fulfill." He said in his business voice as he twirled me away and back towards him.

"How will I know? What will let me know that I have done my job right….that I…I have saved him?" I questioned the one thing that was on my mind and that seemed to want to linger.

"You will know." Was all Trigger had to say about the matter. I knew not to press on. If I asked more questions he would give me more riddles. "I think you are doing fine though. Even if neither of you know it." I looked up at Trigger as his lips twitched up into a smile.

"What does that mean?" I asked more to myself then to him, knowing full well he'd rather I find out then figure out.

"Fay's been a bit noisy." Trigger laughed at the thought.

I had just twirled away from him so it took me a moment longer before I could respond. "What else is new?" I queried with a playful laugh.

He didn't answer. He was busy looking off into space. His thoughts were somewhere else. I could tell as I watched his eyes closely. "When you saw my fangs the other day, did you think-"

I cut him off to spare himself some pain "Yes, I thought you were turning me into a Vampire. So I ran."

"I thought so…everyone was so worried." He sighed "I didn't though, I knew you'd come back. You always do." He smiled warmly as he brushed some hair that had fallen out of place and into my face.

"That's because I love you." I smiled warmly.

"Not in the same way I do." He said in a soft whisper. I'm surprised I even heard it over the music.

I was about to retort to say something, anything, but I was interrupted mid-thought. "May I?" Both Trigger and I stopped mid-step to see Sirius grinning broadly at the two of us. Trigger of course step aside with a smile.

"She's all yours." Trigger smiled and I wondered if he actually meant it as he handed me over to Sirius and left us two to start our dance.

"I didn't get to tell you earlier, but you look beautiful tonight." Sirius smiled as he took my hand in his and we began dancing.

I slowly felt a blush creep up to my cheeks and these odd feelings in the pit of my stomach begin to form. "Thank you." I managed to sneak out.

"You shouldn't need to thank me for telling you the truth, doll." He smiled.

"I'm not arrogant like you." I rolled my eyes.

"I never said you were." He laughed "Lighten up a bit. All these Vampires, they made you so serious."

"I know how to have fun, Sirius." I narrowed my eyes a bit and glared.

"Really?" He stared at me in disbelieve. "Prove it."

"I shouldn't need to prove anything to you." I rolled my eyes and head butted his chest mid-dance step.

"We are always fighting about one thing or another and I think if you would lighten up we could have a lot of fun." Sirius stopped dancing now and looked at me straight in the eyes.

"You don't find this fun?" I raised my eyebrow at him.

"It's not too bad…" He sighed not giving me a full answer.

"I know its ballroom dancing. Not like we can you know" I looked around in a shifty manner.

"Yeah wel-" He started but was cut off by James jumping on top of him.

"Can I join in? My Lily-Flowers not here to dance with" He asked both Sirius and I.

"Of course you can!" I smiled happily.

"Wait a moment…" Sirius stared at James for a moment. "I never said you could leave me for Kobato."

James blinked for a moment before responding. "Good thing there is enough of me to go around." James laughed. And before I knew it the three of us were dancing happily. We carried on dancing for a good hour before I decided I needed something to drink. I left Sirius and James dancing together as I wondered over to the beverages.

"Wait up!" Sirius called after a couple of moments "I better come with you, you'll wear yourself out."

"I'm a big girl." I rolled my eyes saying the same things I say every day.

"A big girl with a big health problem" Sirius said while casually leaning up against the wall near the drinks.

I glared at him before throwing the cup of punch I was filling in his face. "At least I don't look like a wet dog." I smirked as punch dripped down his now wet hair.

"You little" he glared for a moment before grabbing the cup out of my hands, filling it with juice, and then he dumped it on me. I should say attempted to dump on me. He completely missed and before I knew it we were running around the outer edges of the party avoiding people right and left as Sirius attempted to get me back. "Kobato!" He cried as I made my way out onto the opening balcony. He had run me into a corner.

"Well, looks like you win." I pouted in defeat as I leaned up against the railing.

"Say you're sorry." Sirius asked in a kind voice as he walked up to me and forced me to back up as far as I could.

"I don't know if I can do that." I looked upwards trying to avoid his gaze. But what I saw didn't make me feel much better. A mistletoe right above our heads…who honestly thinks to put one here? Really?

Quickly I looked away hoping Sirius wouldn't notice at all. For the time being he didn't notice.

"Kobato" He said in a playful voice "Say you are sorry." He repeated again.

I was starting to lose, his gaze was powerful. I couldn't help but look up again. "Maybe…" I said keeping my eyes on the mistletoe.

"I mean it now, don't make me get serious on you." He laughed but still maintained as serious of a stature as he could.

I looked back at him as he leaned in and pinned me with his body up against the railing. "Sirius?" I said as my heart began to flutter and my cheeks begin to flush with color.

"You going to apologize?" He asked not letting up at all as he pressed his body forward, despite my obvious discomfort.

"No…well maybe. It's just…" I couldn't take it anymore. "There's a mistletoe above our heads." I nervously tried to slump down but with his weight on me, I wasn't going anywhere.

"So there is." Sirius laughed not bothered by that fact at all.

"Yes and this is…can we" I struggled to find the words. I wanted to get out of this position that we were in. The flutter in my heart was driving me nuts. I shouldn't be bothered, it's just Sirius Black.

"We can't break a tradition." Sirius said simply.

"I think we can." I responded in a small voice.

"What are you afraid to have your first kiss with Sirius Black?" He teased.

"I've already had my first kiss and it sure as heck wasn't you." I pushed his chest in a playful manner.

"What?" He blinked a couple of times and then took a step backwards. I took it as my chance to make it to the door. I ran in and pulled the French doors that we had come through back open. "Hey wait, what do you mean you've been kissed?" He asked as we walked into the ballroom.

"I've been kissed before and it wasn't you." I said simply while walking back to the dance floor. I stuck my tongue in a childish manner.

"Who was it?" He questioned with a new emotion playing upon his face. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but it was something I rarely saw on Sirius' face.

"Sirius…" I started but the rest of my words were drowned out. Everything in this room was blurring around me. There was screaming, spells, gun shots, and panic filling the room. "Sirius!" This time I now screamed it as he reached forward and grabbed my hand.

"We need to go!" He screamed loudly as we saw different people attacking, neither of us knowing who was on whose side.

"Where?" I screamed back as he tried to pull me to the door on the other side of the room. We were scrambling around. I let Sirius stop pulling me as I ripped my dress up and pulled out two guns. I handed him the Nocturne of Death as I grabbed my Nocturne of Love. "Let's go." I said confidently.

We carried on running making some way through the chaos of screams and battles.

"Wait! What about James?" Sirius cried as we stumbled into a duel between Death Eaters and Auroras.

"Where would h-" I cut myself off as cold hands made their way around my waist and pulled me away from Sirius. "GET OFF OF ME!" I cried as I turned to see a Vampire who I did not recognize. His fangs were showing and he was close to biting me.

"KOBATO!" I heard several screams. Before I knew it, in one flash I was being thrown away out of the Vampires grasped and being held by an invisible arm in the air. The Vampire who had grasped me around the waist was thrown on the ground and had his arms and legs frozen so he couldn't move.

"Get out of here now!" I heard Icy scream in a terrified voice at me.

"You and Sirius Apparate, I've got James!" Fay showed up next to me as I tried my best to avert my eyes from the ice daggers Trigger was throwing at the sad excuse of a Vampire who tried to suck my blood. I turned to Fay who was indeed grabbing onto an alert James.

"Where?" I cried letting the fear escape me as tears made their way down my cheeks.

"_Hogsmeade, near the Shrieking shack." _Fay responded in my head. I didn't respond. I had no choice at that moment to grab on to Sirius as the wand battle neared us.

Quickly without a second though I held to Sirius for dear life as I willed myself to the Shrieking Shack, hoping and praying I was safe with Sirius. With a large thud both Sirius and I crashed onto the freezing cold snow. I didn't open my eyes for a moment. It took Sirius' soft voice to prod them open.

"Come on Kobato" Sirius gentle grabbed my arm and helped me up. I was still shaking a bit, but he seemed very calm considering everything that happened. "Where are we?" He questioned after I took in my surroundings.

"Probably farther from Fay then we should be." I sighed, thinking when she said close to the shrieking shack, she probably meant closer than this. "Come on." I said wearily as he grabbed my hand and let me led the way. We were able to walk a bit more before we came to the two figures standing in a clearing right in front of the shrieking shack. "Fay?" I questioned while pulling out my wand and pointing it at her.

"Kobato! You two made it!" She squealed happily and went to go hug me, but I pushed her away.

"How do I know your Fay?" I questioned narrowing my eyes.

"Oh come on Kobato..."James said in disbelieve.

"You're not off the hook either, James." I glared still not sure if it's safe or not.

"No she's right." Fay smiled weakly. She was clearly more shaken up over this even then she was letting on. "We need to check."

"Thank you." I said while looking at James and Fay with a slight glare still.

"I'll go first" James said quickly and step forward "We first became friends when Sirius blew a vase in your face. And you wanted to go to the broom closet." James nodded.

"I never said I wanted to go to a bro-" I started but Sirius cut me off.

"Fay's turn, let's get this over with. I'm freezing." Sirius growled.

"Right" I sighed and moved my wand to Fay.

"Umm, this summer when we ran away from the Valhimors, you said you didn't like this back and forth motion from Vampire to Wizard." Fay wore a heavy expression, but her eyes never wavered off of mine.

The answer was good enough for me "Why here of all places Fay?" I asked.

"Sorry James, I was prying in your mind." Fay didn't blush when she said it, but she was embarrassed "We can get into Hogwarts, Dumbledore's already been warned."

"You read my mind?" James asked looking horrified.

"We don't have time for this, come on!" Fay grabbed James angrily and walked towards the shack. I had no choice but to follow.

"Wait! Hold on, how do we know Sirius is Sirius." James asked after we had just made it to the front doors.

"It's Sirius" I said getting impatient. I wanted to get out of the cold.

"Proof?" James said now pointing his wand at his best friend.

"Prongs, you're favorite boxers are the ones with white lilies on them." We all turned to Sirius at his words. Fay and I tried not to snicker, but James seemed satisfied.

"It's him, let's go for real now." James nodded. None of us objected.

I feel like everything was starting to hit me with every step we took. Every little inch we moved forward my body seemed to get heavier and wearer as the events began to replay and unfold over and over again in my head. I wasn't the only one having this problem. Fay who was walking behind me in the narrow passage to the castle was letting out tiny sobs here and there. She had to have been worried sick. All her family was there, even the ones she love were still back there.

James was pretty shaken up too. He was walking just ahead of me and every so often I would see his wand hand clench tight and then get released with an upset and worried groan. He also had to have been feeling a lot seeing as his parents were still there.

The calmest one out of all of us was Sirius. He was walking a bit different than normal, but he seemed determined to get us to the castle in one piece. He was acting like a leader and being stronger than I expected of him. Every so often he would turn around to look at all of us to see if we were doing alright and still plugging along, I couldn't help but notice the beauty his face held when he would turn around. His face was strong, he was like a small glimmer of hope to all of us. His eyes no longer held that mysterious sorrow. No it held faith, strength, and love. Every time he turned around I felt my heart pain in this emotion I couldn't pin. It was strange and made me worry. I tried to shake these feelings off and focus on at least getting to the castle but it was becoming harder and harder. My body was getting weaker and weaker. I couldn't tell if we were close or not.

But finally after what seemed like hours there was light pouring through an opening up ahead, we had made it out. It was a great relieve to all of us. But we were all exhausted I could tell. Especially when we made it to Dumbledore who was waiting like Fay said he would. He was very patient and welcoming as he ushered us all to the hospital wing. I don't remember much of what was being said, Sirius and James did most of the talking while Fay and I were left in our thoughts.

Once we got to the hospital wing it was like this feeling of gratitude had washed over me. I was some place safe. I didn't even protest as Madam Pomfry bustled around a now weak, shaky, coughing me. I just let it happen till I was settle in my own bed and forced to rest.

But I found I couldn't rest though. My mind was zooming around and it couldn't rest. So many thoughts were speeding around I couldn't rest even if I wanted too. Fay looked like she couldn't either. She wanted to leave and check on her family, but Madam Pomfry wouldn't allow it. James was sitting on his bed twirling his wand around with a deep thought etched upon his face. As for Sirius, he was on the bed next to me just staring at the middle of the floor for no reason whatsoever. After a while Fay though of this sitting and letting our own thoughts rule us, Fay snapped.

"I'm leaving." She announced as she got up and stared at the door in determination.

"Miss Rainsworth, I can't allow you to do that." All our heads turned to Dumbledore who was now just leaving Madam Pomfry's office after a lengthy discussion about us.

"You have no control over me, I am not one of your students!" Fay shouted and waved her hands in the air. I couldn't help but cringe at her tone of voice. I had never heard her get this upset. "My family is probably dead! I was told to bring these kids to safety, nothing more!"

"I realize that, but you are safer here. You have done your mission and you have earned your right to rest." Dumbledore smiled kindly and walked over to Fay. He gently put an arm around her and led her back to her bed. She protested a bit, but soon she settled for listening.

"Fine" Fay mumbled out as she sat down. "But waiting for news is painful." She said.

"Yes, this is true, but it would be more painful if you hurt yourself. Imagine the pain your dear family would go through." Dumbledore nodded in wisdom. He was right of course. But waiting right now was the hardest part. We may have been safe, but imagine what could have happened there or could still be happening?

"Fay?" After a moment of silent James gently said her name.

"Yes James?" She responded in a dead distant voice.

"Thank you for saving us." James said it with a smile that met his eyes. He was exhausted you could see that all over his face, but he was grateful. His smile proved that much.

"Anytime" Fay moved slightly so she could look over at James "You three have a big future ahead of you that the stars have planned, I won't let selfish Vampires take that from you." She said in a hopeful but hostile voice.

"What do you me-" Sirius started to ask but his words were cut off as a whispy white light zoomed in and landed in the middle of the room right near where Dumbledore was standing.

"We are all safe, we only had two injuries. Don't come back, we will come to you." There was a long pause from the patronus "Oh and Merry Christmas." Mr. Potter's voice finally finished off. We all seemed to stare at it for a while before letting out a sigh of relief.

"Only two injuries" Fay muttered after a while. Letting the words sink in.

"It could be worse, Miss Rainsworth. Injuries are fixable." Dumbledore smiled down through his half-moon spectacles. "In anycase, I believe this is my cue to leave you four to rest." And with a swish of his cloak, he was gone, leaving us to our silent but screaming thoughts.

I guess somewhere around 11:30 everyone seemed to have fallen asleep but me. I was exhausted but I just wanted to get away. I couldn't take the thoughts that were flooding my mind. I gave up on trying to sleep and threw myself out of my bed and headed out of the hospital wing. The night was cool and the castle was drafty as I walked barefoot to where ever my heart was leading me.

"Hey" I jumped at the sound of Sirius' voice behind me calling me out.

"I thought you were asleep" I said truthfully as I turned to see him standing there with anger on his face.

"Obviously not" He smirked and took a seat on the floor right where I was standing.

I let out a guilty smile and took a seat next to him. "I'm guessing you can't sleep either?"

"No I could, I just figured you'd sneak out." Sirius laughed and turned to look at me. "And it looks like I was right."

"Why'd you follow me?" I questioned as I tried to search his eyes. There was that look, the same one I saw earlier.

"You need your rest, you should come back." He scolded.

I just stared at him. This wasn't like the Sirius I knew at all. It was like I was seeing a whole other side to him. He wasn't being selfish at all. He was being a friend. He was being a protector. Sirius was also being the Gryffindor he knew how to be. He wasn't this arrogant prick I thought him to be. I misjudged. No Sirius was a kind person who was naturally willing to fight for the good of all.

The person I was seeing right now as I stared into Sirius was someone worth saving.


	22. Chapter 22: Together

**Chapter 22: Surely they bind you and I together.**

**A/N: Thanks for all the adds and reviews. They make me happy. Annnnd I would like to say this chapter took me forever. So sorry about that, I had the time just I was more or less thinking how I want to get onto this adorable chapter I have planned :3. I hope that suspense right there is killing you. Oh and also instead of writing I drew a picture of Sirius and Kobato, hope to put it up soon maybe? In any case, enjoy. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

Sirius and I ended up having a long chat that evening till finally the sun was starting to poke through and we decided it was time to get some sleep. We didn't get much sleep though because by ten in the morning Mr. and Mrs. Potter, Trigger, and Icy were all at Hogwarts letting us know what all happened. Apparently in the battle Trigger had managed to kill a Cogsworth who tried to drink my blood, Pandora Ebony was wounded but is recovering, and Shadow Wentworth was sent into the same state as Elliot. The good news though was they managed to obtain four more Nocturnes of Bloods. Bad news was that the scoundrels who told of the party were a well off Pureblood family by the name of Lunettes. I personally had only met them once and from what I remember they weren't suspicious at all. The thought left me flabbergasted. But from what we were getting from the Daily Prophet that wasn't the only mass attack that happened on Christmas. Death Eaters took the time to fill panic and fear into several muggle homes.

Mr. and Mrs. Potter didn't get to stay long before they were off. Soon Icy and Fay left to go back to their families and wished us all the best of luck. Trigger of course stayed. He was worried about me and my near bite experience. He stayed with me the whole day till late in the evening when went back up to the Gryffindor tower, where all our stuff was brought there for us already.

Already several weeks had passed since then. And I have to say, after I saw that side of Sirius I couldn't help but think about that night and play the events over and over in my head. Sirius and I started eating breakfast with each other almost every day (with the other Marauders) and I had gotten him to start spending every Thursday night he wasn't in detention with me. Although that was more his idea than mine because he said he was getting so bored without female company. I feel though spending all this time with him was…well I really enjoy it. It seemed to be keeping me healthier more then he would know. I was finding more and more that I like being his friend.

But it did come with downs too. The fangirls were getting more restless because they wanted to know why Sirius wouldn't date anyone. And then they were claiming that I wasn't keeping my end of the bargain up, which because of this they went back to attacking me. Sirius just thought it was because instead of me ruining their poor idols face I was spending too much time with him. So to him it went from me being a murder of his good looks to me worshiping his good looks. But that wasn't true at all. The fangirls were just upset because I wasn't letting anything slip from my lips about him. So the hexing started. I didn't mind, compared to Sirius the duels with them were like fighting a child.

Although I would have to say they were the least of my worries. Trying to get through my homework was the hardest part. It was essay after essay. Homework assignment after homework assignment…and somewhere in between all this I was supposed to make Sirius fall in love with me? Is that even possible?

February was just testing me more and more. Especially tonight.

"Kobato?" Sirius asked gingerly.

Trying not to sigh I looked up from my Potions essay "Hmmm?" I questioned.

"I broke it." Sirius said with a disappointed voice.

"You broke what?" I questioned now letting my annoyance of him bothering me during this extremely hard essay get to me.

"Can we go somewhere and talk maybe?" He asked in a smooth voice as he looked between Lily, Raven, and myself. Lily looked as annoyed as I felt, Raven seemed indifferent and carried on with her essay.

I thought for a moment, I could work on my mission or my essay. "Yes, alright." I smiled as warmly as I could feeling school shouldn't be all that important next to saving the world.

"Perfect!" Sirius quickly grabbed me and pulled me up to his dorm. When we were finally there he escorted me to his bed and wouldn't say anything until I had sat down. "I couldn't help it! I was so bored. You've been busy with that essay, James is in detention, Remus and Peter are doing their essay" He rambled on as he paced back and forth.

"You should be doing your essay." I said flatly as I laid back onto his bed.

"Details darling" He stopped pacing and looked at me "In any case, I bumped into Lu and we...you know."

He didn't need to finish his statement. I knew what he meant and for some odd reason it bothered me. I couldn't let him know that though. "So you broke your promise to yourself. Just don't do it again." I said as normally as I could, even if I wanted to grit my teeth in annoyance. He bought it.

"I know, but I thought for once I could do it right." He ruffled his hair before throwing himself on the bed next to me. "I still don't get how you do it! Here you are an adorable girl and you've never had a boyfriend, at least here at Hogwarts." Sirius stared at me with curious eyes.

"I'm not wasting my time on boys who I won't end up dating for very long. It saves me the drama." I said truthfully. But the other reason was him. I was here for him and him only. So why should I go out with another guy.

He kept looking at me with such curious eyes. Finally he broke our gaze and flipped onto his stomach. "But I don-"

I cut him off "We've had this conversation before." I pointed out "What do you want me to say? 'Well Sirius I'm lonely let's snog?' Yeah right." I laughed.

"Not exactly. I don't know what I want you to say." He sighed "But I do know you are smart for someone who looks like a child." He teased with a sly grin etched upon his face.

"I disagree" I punched him playfully in the arm. "But to be honest, I don't think people ever grow up, really."

"Kobato, I think you grew up too fast, regardless if you think." Sirius put a gentle hand on my head with sorrow filling his eyes.

I stared at him for a while. Letting my thoughts get the best of me, but before I could stop myself I was saying what I never wanted to say to Sirius. "I was patrolling when it happened. The school grounds that is." I watched as Sirius' hand dropped from my forehead with a thud onto the bed. His eyes started to fill with curiosity but fear all at the same time. I didn't let my voice waver as I carried on "Something was just off all day. Which is why I went out with my Nocturne of Love and stayed an extra shift" I tore my eyes away from Sirius and stared out the window into the moonlit sky. "I was on the border between where the night classes were being held and the forest that surrounds Crossing Wands, when I heard it. The sound of footsteps. I remember I stopped dead and was just about to call for backup. I was young at the time. I really shouldn't have even been doing this, but I wanted too. I wanted to be someone. So imagine my fear when I saw a Mutant coming right towards me. All I wanted was to be someone and not be the daughter of the headmaster." I let out a sniffle. I couldn't help it, my childish emotions were coming through. "I fought my best. Lost both my wand and my gun. In the end he tore me apart and bit open my neck so badly the grass was covered in so much blood it took more than a good rain to wash it away." I paused for a moment when I felt Sirius put his arms around me. It was oddly comforting but making me nervous at the same time. I tried to ignore it as I carried on. "Trigger found me and gave me his blood. Just in time too, I would have died otherwise."

Sirius held on tighter as I finished "That would make anyone grow up fast." He whispered into my ear, gently.

"I still have more growing up to do." I said simply.

"Less than I do. I can't even go a month without snogging." Sirius laughed.

"You'll get better at it. You just need training…or something." I laughed as well.

"Speaking of snogging" Sirius grinned at me in a way I didn't like at all. "Who was your first kiss?"

"Really that important to you?" I questioned staring at him in disbelief.

"Yeah pretty much" He shrugged but still looked at me in anticipation.

I smirked playfully and leaned forward as close to him as I could. "You sure you wanna know?" I questioned as I pushed my forehead against his.

He pushed his forehead back into mine in a lighthearted manner "I'm sure."

"Severus Snape." I lied. Sirius had the reaction I was hoping for. In one quick motion he pushed me off the bed so I landed flat on my butt, while he jumped up and pointed a finger at me.

"Kobato you have got to be joking me?" He begged in a serious manner. I on the other hand was laughing as hard as I could.

"No, I'm not." I snorted as I carried on laughing "First time I took him to the hospital wing we snogged. Didn't you hear the rumors?" I laughed harder than before as Sirius glared at me.

"Kobato!" He whined. I took that as my cue to run for it. I got up as fast as I could and raced down to the Gryffindor Common room, Sirius close on my heels. "I didn't find that funny at all!" He cried as I ran over towards Lily and Raven to take my seat like nothing happened.

"What's wrong Sirius? What on earth are you talking about?" I picked up my essay and pretended to start writing.

"Kobato Nightray, you know what I am talking about. You don't joke about your first kiss being with Snape." Sirius said through gritted teeth, but it was enough the whole common room was watching.

"That wasn't a joke, Sirius." I flipped my hair for dramatic effect "Besides, you're just jealous he's a better snogger then you will ever be." I said flatly before turning back to my essay. There were several "ooooh" and "Ouch" that were muttered across the common room. It just added to Sirius' seething.

"How would you know? You ran away from me." Sirius said flatly in attempt to keep his cool.

"Are you admitting I rejected you?" I raised an eyebrow and crossed my arms. It was the wrong thing to say though. Sirius looked livid. He was getting embarrassed in front of the whole common room, it was more then he could handle. He was Sirius Black, he had to be perfect and wanted by all.

"No, you just owe me a kiss." He said gaining back his composure. We all watched him in confusion at this point. Sirius had gained his composure faster than expected. So with curious eyes we all watched as he pushed aside the books and essays that were laid across the table and stood on top of it, still holding his usual casual manner. "Everyone in this common room is now a witness. Kobato Nightray owes me a kiss and until she gives it to me she will have to stand on the Gryffindor table every morning and tell the great hall something or someone she likes every day. Because no one breaks traditions and no one says no to Sirius Black." Everyone stared at Sirius for a moment before a couple boys shouted "Here Here". I on the other hand growled and pulled Sirius off the table.

"Knock it off." I said. It was my turn to be embarrassed.

"No, I will not. _You_ have to do it now." He crossed his arms over his chest and glared.

"_I _don't have to do anything." I said angrily.

"Oh but you do." He smirked obviously enjoying every minute of this. "I'm Sirius Black." Sirius laughed and poked my nose.

"Why do you care? It's one little kiss from your _friend_." I retorted trying to win my case.

"I don't, you just humiliated me in front of my fans. We are even now." And with one last smirk he turned and left. Leaving me fuming and confused…

* * *

"You don't think Sirius was, you know. Serious, do you?" Lily asked looking around as we made our way to the great hall for breakfast.

"I'm not sure and I'm not sure if I want to even go to breakfast." I said truthfully while looking around as well, hoping to not be spotted by Sirius.

"Well if you eat with us I don't see how they are going to force you into anything." Raven stated "I mean not like they are going to imperius you."

"I'd sure hope not." I sighed as well finally made it into the great hall.

"Kobato! Girl of the hour!" I groaned as I turned around to see James, Sirius, Peter, and Remus approaching us with broad smiles.

"Morning James! Spiffy to see you, now if you excuse me I want lunch with my girls." I smiled the fakest smile I owned and put an arm around Lily and Raven to walk towards the Gryffindor Table.

"Kobato, you promised breakfast with me. How can you say no to this face?" Sirius grabbed my shoulder and turned me to face him. He had the biggest pout on his face. How could I say no?

"Easy, _no_" Lily grabbed me tightly and whirled me so we could keep walking and take a seat.

"Lily-Flower, she can sit with us, oh! Better yet, we will just sit with you!" James piped up happily. Lily stopped mid-step at his words. Her face turned to him with so many mixed emotions I didn't know what was going to happen.

"No, she can sit with you guys." Lily finally said while pushing me towards the boys. With the most venoms look I glared at her.

"Thanks Lily-Flower" I practically spat as James happily led me to a spot at the Gryffindor table, seating me in between him and Sirius, leaving Peter and Remus to sit across from us. I sat there for a long time while the boys talked excitedly about some prank they were going to pull at lunch time. I wasn't interested at all as I stared at my pumpkin juice. I wasn't even bothering to eat breakfast. I was busy wondering when Sirius would attempt to embarrass me.

"Kobato? Why aren't you eating?" James asked after ten minutes of odd torture.

"What? Oh…"I said breaking my daze to watch as James piled food on my plate. "Sorry just not feeling well." I lied.

"Want me to take you to the hospital wing after you make your statement?" Sirius questioned with a grin.

"Before would be nice." I sneered trying to break his grin.

"No can do, sorry love." He laughed. "You ready?"

"Be nice…"I thought I heard Remus mutter. But Sirius ignored it so I felt I had to as well.

"What's going to happen if I don't do it? There's no way you can make me." I crossed my arms and looked at him hoping this was only a cruel joke on me.

"I can tell everyone what you like. I don't really care if it's true or not." My eyes widened fearfully at his words. Only god knows what he would tell everyone. That would be worse than anything I had to say. That's for sure.

"Fine" I sighed loudly to show my annoyance. Sirius just sat there still with the smug look on his face. He was as pleased as ever.

Swallowing hard I watched Sirius get up on the bench and clear his throat loudly. It didn't take long before the whole great hall was watching him with curious eyes. "Everyone, what a beautiful morning is it not? It's snowing and Valentine's Day is right around the corner, Sunday I hear." A couple of people cheered but they all listened none the less with eager grins on what Sirius had to say. Sirius loved the attention, it was written all over his face. I on the other hand was panicking mentally, but Sirius carried on none the less. "In any case, I know it's lovely to stare at me and all, but I'm talking to all you lovely students for a reason. My good friend Kobato here has an announcement to make every day, until further notice." At his words everyone turned to me. The Gryffindors looked on hopefully, for they knew what was coming. The rest of the great hall looked at me with confusion but yet anticipation that I would have something grand to say.

I threw one last glare at Sirius who was waiting for my words, along with the rest of the great hall, before I stood up. "Thank you for those kind words of welcome Sirius." I said in a false sweet tone. He ignored it and took a great bow before sitting back down. "I would like to let all of you fellow students know…" I wasn't really sure what I wanted them to know. Can you blame me? This was embarrassing enough as it was. I didn't want to say anything to personal, but yet…okay I didn't want to say anything at all. "That I like hot chocolate with whipped cream. That is all." I quickly said as a blush creped onto my face. There was an awkward pause within the great hall. Sirius was the only one who made a sound. He gave a cheer then started clapping. The rest of the Gryffindors joined in. I felt so unsure of what was going on that I just took a seat and attempted not to throw my face down into my food that James had piled up.

"At least on the bright side, there's a Hogsmeade trip this Saturday." Remus smiled after everyone had calmed down.

"There is?" I blinked a couple of times feeling left out.

"Sometimes you are so clueless." Sirius laughed and got up to head for our first class of the day, DADA. I sat there still staring off where Sirius was as everyone left but Remus.

"Why don't you eat a little and then we can go to class as well." Remus said warmly and motioned to the food to my plate. I didn't say anything in response. My thoughts were on Hogsmeade. I had to ask Sirius. If I didn't someone else would and then I wouldn't be working on my mission. I just had too. But how would I do it? I didn't want him to get weirded out by me and push me away. That was the last thing I needed. This was a really hard choice. I didn't know what to do as I sat with my thoughts swimming around my head. It was too much, it was making me sick with worry.

"Kobato? I'm taking you to the hospital wing, you don't look good." Remus broke my thoughts once more with a concern look upon his face.

"No, I'm fine really. I don't need to go-" I couldn't finish, Remus was already up and pulling me out of the great hall. Fantastic, I couldn't tell him I was thinking about asking Sirius to Hogsmeade, he'd probably laugh at me.

"You don't need to be passing out in Professor Vaveriuz's class." Was all he said as he pulled me along.

* * *

Madam Pomfry made me stay until 8 at night. By then she said I was fit to head back to the Gryffindor Common room as long as I promised to go to bed and rest. Like that was going to happen. I was stuffed up in the hospital wing all day. I was going to stay up late, especially after all the hot chocolate I got today for some odd reason. Couldn't of had anything to do with this morning…

In any case I was starting to make my way back up to the Gryffindor Common room. I was slightly wondering aimlessly towards the common room taking longer paths then I would have. I just wanted to stretch out, it was a long boring day. But this didn't prove to be a very wise decision because a little ahead of me I could hear a conversation I would rather not walk in on.

Some girl was acting really timid and shy from what I gathered. I shrunk back into the background behind a suit of armor hoping not to ruin this special moment for this girl.

"I mean…I can…I understand if you don't want too." The girl stumbled about. "I'm not that important so I mean, if you say no, I won't be hurt!" She explained still stuttering and sounding unsure of herself. Whoever she was attempting to ask out was not responding yet. I could help my curiousty as I stood there listening. "I mean what I want to say is, would you like to…go to" She paused for a bit "Hogsmeade with me." She finally asked. I couldn't see who it was but I bet she was relieved and as red as a tomato.

I leaned forward a bit more keen to find out who she was asking. But I didn't need too "Darling, I'm truly flatter that you would ask me." Sirius smooth voice rang out into the air. His voice was really silky. He really knew how to keep the ladies.

I was so shocked my grip on the suit of armor slipped causing me to push it forward and me falling along with it in an ear splattering clank. I immediately felt my ears go red, my cheeks flair up, and my arm bleed from getting caught on the armor. Fantastic.

And soon before I knew it Sirius was right next to my side staring at me in confusion. "Koboat? What happened?" He asked gingerly while helping me up. I looked around, it looked like the girl got scared and ran off.

"Oh…I was walking back from the hospital wing and I lost my balance." I quickly lied. I'd rather he not know that I was spying on him. What would he think of me? Probably compare me to his fangirls…but I didn't know it was him. Still, I didn't want him assuming things.

He pulled me up as gently as he could and still looked at me in concern "You're bleeding." He frowned. "Let's take you back to the hospital wing."

"Common Room" I growled. I wasn't going back to the hospital wing.

"Hospital wing" He retorted.

"Common room."

"Hospital wing."

"Common room."

"Hospital wing."

"Common room" I shouted and quickly ran off before he had time to process what was happening.

"Get back here!" He shouted back as he chased me to the common room.

I ignored him and made my way up in no time. And soon I was crawling through the portrait hole. I was going to run straight up to the dorms but there was a scene going on in the middle of the common room making me stop dead in my tracks. Sirius stopped as well, nearly crashing into me. The thing that threw it off the most was the bated breath. Everyone seemed to be waiting on something and no one was moving.

Sirius and I inched in a bit more and moved our eyes to the scene that everyone was staring at.

Off in the corner were James and Lily, both standing there staring at each other. James was wearing a hopeful smile and Lily was wearing a scowl, but something was off. Her eyes didn't seem to be in the scowl at all. Her eyes were betraying her more than she knew, not that James would pick up on that.

"Please Lily, would you just think about going to Hogsmeade with me?" James asked gingerly. He still had his confidence, but the way he asked wasn't in his usual manner. He wasn't as cocky and as arrogant sounding as usual.

"I honestly don't know why you even bother asking you arrogant little pest!" Lily said with anger. From there she grabbed her books, smacked James once with them and walked off, leaving a defeated looking James. All at once movement picked back up in the common room as James seemed to cease movement and sink to the ground. 100 for Lily, 0 for James.

Sirius and I eyed each other, forgetting our argument and headed for James right away. Knowing his need was greater than mine.

"Come on mate, let's go upstairs." Sirius sighed and put a gentle hand on his best mates shoulder.

"Why does she always say no? She has to hate me." James pouted and threw his arms up in defeat.

"She doesn't hate you, James." I smiled taking a seat next to him on the floor.

"How do you know? Unless she has told you, you can't honestly know for sure." James retorted still looking upset and defeated.

I leaned forward and pushed my forehead against James' with a grin. "Simple, you guys fight and argue. That's proof enough. She acknowledges you. That's the best hope there is. She knows you are there and she spends the time to say things back. It's not that hopeless."

James blinked at me for a moment before he quickly threw his arms around me in a back breaking hug. "Kobato! I looove you! You are right! I'm not worthless, she still cares for me enough to call me a pest!" James exclaimed happily.

"Great way to think of it mate." Sirius snorted not seeing how he could be so hopeful.

"Well I'm dateless for Hogsmeade, once again." James laughed seeming to be back to normal. "How about you mate?" James questioned while turning to Sirius.

"I'll just stay with you and the rest of the Marauders this year." Sirius pated James on the back with a grin "We can lasso Lily at Hogsmeade, what say ye?"

"It's worth a try." James returned Sirius' pat on the back. "What about you Kobato? Care to hang with us?" James questioned turning to me.

"Oh…" the question caught me by surprise. Here this whole time I was hoping to ask Sirius to go to Hogsmeade with me and somehow I get asked by James and Sirius.

"That's probably a no, someone as cute as Ko here would already have a date." Sirius laughed.

"I do…Sirius is right, sorry James." I said quickly with a sly grin.

"Who?" James and Sirius asked in disbelief. Apparently Sirius was just joking when he said I would have a date by now.

"I don't think you know him." I didn't let my grin faltered off my face as I tapped my index finger on my lip. "He's tall, handsome with beautiful fluffy black hair. Like a little puppy. And he has this daredevil look about him thanks to this gorgeous ear piercing. Mmmm and I just love his smile it's so ad-" I was cut off. Sirius had grabbed onto me and began spinning me around in a big hug.

"She admitted it! She called me handsome!" Sirius stopped spinning and still wore his grin as he held me above him.

"Who said I was talking about you?" I rolled my eyes.

Sirius frowned and dropped me down gently at my words. "Well who would fit that description so well if it wasn't me?" He pouted.

"James" I teased with a big grin.

"Awww I didn't know you cared about me!" James played along and threw his arm around my shoulder.

"Kobato Nightray." Sirius sighed.

"Relax. I'm going to Hogsmeade with you, James, Remus, and Peter. Maybe I'll even let you get that kiss you've been begging me for." I laughed.

"I haven't been begging for it." He raised his eyebrow looking at me in annoyance.

"Have too…" I crossed my arms trying to farther my point. "Just afraid I'll be the only girl you haven't kissed…must be killing you." I teased.

"Not at all" Sirius laughed.

"Don't believe him, he's lying" James loudly whispered to me.

"You're just upset that I've had more kisses then you." I pushed on and teased him a bit more. My words took him by surprise. He just stared at me in disbelief.

"I…who have you all kissed?" He questioned.

"You really want to know?" I asked raising an eyebrow and leaning in closer towards him.

"I do actually." James stepped closer looking at me in curiosity.

"Sirius?" I looked over at Sirius who wore a face flat of expression.

"Not really you'll probably lie again and tell me it's Snivelles." He now crossed his arms in annoyance.

"I promise I won't." I said truthfully.

"Too bad I stopped caring." Sirius said in a strange voice. I couldn't put my finger on it.

"I did though…" James looked at Sirius wondering what was going on as well.

"Right, well I'm going to bed now. I've got to plan on what I want to say tomorrow at breakfast!" I smiled happily and started to walk off towards the girls dorms. I didn't get very far until Sirius was grabbing onto my arm.

"I was only kidding, you can tell me now." Sirius said in a hopeful voice.

"Promise you won't get mad?" I questioned, thinking for some reason he would.

"I promise Kobato." He grinned. I didn't really trust his words, but I had to tell him sooner or later.

"My first kiss was…" I paused. His gaze on me was so intense it made me nervous. I felt a blush starting to creep up on my face because of it. I tried to shake it off and carry on. "Trigger" I finally said in a small voice.

Sirius didn't say anything. He just blinked at me. I could see a bit of anger flicker in his eyes as he stared at me. Then without a word, he stormed off and left me there in my thoughts.


	23. Chapter 23: Crashing

**Chapter 23: You're worth this crashing down.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews once again! Glad you liked the last chapter. It wasn't my favorite but I thought it was more playful. Just you wait…just you wait.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.**

* * *

The rest of the week seemed to drag on slowly. I was actually excited to go to Hogsmeade with the boys. Lily and Raven were a little upset at first, but by Thursday afternoon they both had dates and could care less what I was doing. James was a bit furious that he wasn't going with Lily and instead some Hufflepuff was, but in time he accepted it as well. He figured he still had some time left to get her. To be honest he was being very level headed about it and not forcing Lily into it. And he wasn't hexing the said Hufflepuff. I wasn't sure if it was really James or not. But I trusted him, I felt like he was scheming some big plan for Valentines Day. We will just have to wait and see.

I did spend every morning giving my speech on what I liked. I was starting to get the hang of it. So on Saturday morning I wasn't nervous at all for my morning speech, rather for some odd reason spending the day with the boys. That was the weird part. I spend every breakfast with them. I hang out with them a lot. I have a lot of fun with them. So why am I nervous? And why am I so excited that I'm sitting next to Sirius right now? Something is off.

"Since you're the only girl, what do you want to do today?" Sirius turned to me and shook some bacon at me.

"Uhhh" The question caught me off guard. I stared at him for a bit before I gained my composure. "I figured the five of us could hit up the coffee shop. Take a little corner and snog. You know what I like." I winked getting the playful tease I only get when Sirius is around me, as of lately.

"Dream come true." James joked.

"I was only kidding." I laughed. "Let's just walk around then get a butterbeer. I could go for some chocolates too." I answered honestly this time.

"Can't argue with that" Sirius patted me on the back.

"I want to go Zonkos" Peter piped up.

"Of course we will go there. It will just be a normal trip." I smiled warmly to Peter. He returned the smile happily "Just because Valentine's Day is tomorrow doesn't mean we have to do it differently." I smiled.

"I didn't do it." All our smiles vanished off our faces as we turned to Sirius who was looking off to the side with a strange look on his face. We stared at him perplexed at what he was talking about, it was so random! That was until we noticed Professor Vaveriuz walking nearby.

"Always assuming I am punishing you Mr. Black." Vaveriuz laughed and crossed her arms over her chest.

"Well you always seem to be doing that." Sirius retorted with a glare.

"Lucky for you, I'm here for Kobato." She smiled and turned to me.

"I didn't do it either." I laughed, making fun of Sirius.

"Children, I never said you did. You guys have such guilty minds." Vaverius laughed before letting her face turn serious. I knew she was here for a very good reason and not idle chit-chat. She usually didn't bother me until the evening. That was when we would have our talks. So for her to come in the morning was very strange. "Kobato, listen. I'm sure you got a letter from Trigger, Fay, and Scarlet just like I did so you are probably ver-"

I cut her off "I did and I'm still going to Hogsmeade." I said firmly. I wasn't going to skip out because they wanted me to be a good girl and stay in the castle. I was fine, nothing bad was going to happen at Hogsmeade. Not only that I hate how much they babied me sometimes.

"This isn't what I want to hear from you. You can avoid the real world all you want but that isn't going to stop the death and killings from happening." Vaveriuz said angrily at me while slightly raising her voice.

I stood up next to her abandoning my breakfast. "I realize that, but I want to be able to normal." I snapped.

"You no longer have the choice." She said simply while towering over me. "To my office now" She scolded pointing to the door of the great hall.

"Fine" I said back and stomping off for her office.

"Fine" She said as well following me.

Our walk to her office was very silent. I was upset at her for mothering me and she was upset at me for acting like a child and not an adult. Finally after moments of silence I found myself plopping down in my usual chair in her office and her sitting down in her chair across from me.

"I don't see why this needed to be in your office." I sighed not bothering to look at her, though I knew she was staring at me with intense eyes.

"I figured you wouldn't want the whole school knowing you have Vampire Reflex." She stated simply.

"Remus and Sirius already know, it's only a matter of time before others do too." I responded now turning to look at her. She held concern and worry in her eyes. She didn't seem to thrilled herself with everything that had been going on with Voldemort.

"In any case, I still wish you would take this seriously. I'm sure you've read so you know how much more danger you are in." She scolded, in a tone that didn't fit her at all.

"I do but I still would like to act as normal as possible." I sighed as feelings of fear I had suppressed for so long started to surface. "My mission comes first."

"I'm proud of you for working hard on your mission and realizing the importance of it, but you can't do your mission if you are as good as dead." Vaveriuz smiled warmly at me as she leaned forward on her desk.

"Thank you, but I promise any sign of danger and we will leave." I nodded reassuringly.

"Good, I'm sure you will be safe and nothing bad will happen…you just never know, right?" Vaveriuz sighed.

"I know" I agreed.

I watched as Vaveriuz stood up and grabbed her cloak "I'll head to Hogsmeade as well. At any sign of danger just come find me. I'll be wearing this cloak."

I smiled warmly and stood up as well "There won't be any danger, but if there is I will find you." I said.

"Good, now go out and have fun. I'm sure the boys are waiting." She winked "Go and get Sirius' heart!" She called as I headed for the door. I just smiled and waved as I headed out into the corridors.

It took me a while to find the boys because by the time I got back to the Great hall they were already done eating and had moved on elsewhere. I peaked around a couple more corridors to find that they were already waiting outside in line were Filch was checking if we were good to go to Hogsmeade or not.

They were making a bit of a scene and entertaining people through some wild stories that they were telling. Sirius was doing all sorts of crazy stunts while James told the stories. Remus was standing there looking irritated and Peter was standing in aw milking what attention he could get.

When I approached them the story died down immediately. I wondered if they were telling some farfetched lies about Christmas…

"Alright ladies and gentleman, sorry to disappoint but our date is here. Clear out, come on come one." James shooed everyone away with a grin on his face.

"What did Professor Vaveriuz want?" Remus questioned looking at me in concern.

"Nothing really" I said hoping that was a good enough answer for them.

"You didn't get a detention did you?" Peter asked in a gentle voice.

"Oh no of course not" I smiled how I usually did when Peter spoke to me.

"Good then let's get going!" Sirius patted me on the back and pushed me towards the line of Filch so we could get out of here. We were walking along fine and even made it past Filch. But once we had made a good distances Sirius stopped dead "You never gave your speech this morning!" He said looking crestfallen.

"Oh! Your right, I'll do it tonight." I said hoping that would make up for it.

"I was actually excited for what you would say today." Sirius frowned.

"I bet it was something like 'I love long walks in the sunset.'" James teased.

"Totally not" I laughed.

"She's much more romantic than that you two." Remus said, causing everyone to stare at him in confusion. It took a moment for it to click in Remus' head what he had said "I was just…no we haven't-"

I cut him off "Relax we all know you and I haven't had any romantic midnight adventures." I laughed, soon everyone joining in.

"Thank you, I just meant your personality." Remus smiled. "Your personality seems to be a romantic type."

"You think so?" I asked as well picking up the pace of our walking. "I do find myself falling for romantic sort of men." I nodded with a grin.

"Like me then?" Sirius asked hopefully.

"I didn't think you were a romantic sort of guy." Peter raised an eyebrow with a laugh. "More like a snog" Peter carried on in a mutter.

"I so am." Sirius turned to James for help "Right?"

"A little bit…" James said half heartily.

"Whatever you guys just don't know any better." Sirius said in his cocky voice. I had to hold my tongue not to laugh.

"Anyways, I'll make the announcement tonight." I smiled and patted Sirius on the back trying to give him some comfort for his wounded ego.

"I can't wait." Sirius smirked.

"Not creepy at all…" I said walking a little farther ahead of them.

"What! We are friends!" Sirius called after me.

"I think he just meant you are interesting to learn about." Remus said trying to calm me down as I ran forward a bit more. I decided to stop at his words and we closed farther into Hogsmeade.

"I don't doubt that, I am me. I'd love to learn about me." I laughed as I skipped ahead.

Together we all walked through the snow and made our way into the beautiful snowy village of Hogsmeade with wide grins. We made our way into Honeydukes buying more sweets then was necessary. I for some reason didn't have to buy myself any. I found Sirius and James taking out their money and buying me what they could. Something about Valentine's Day being tomorrow and me being there best girl friend. That and James was also thanking me for helping him pick out Lily's well thought out present. We ended up picking out a beautiful chocolate rose for her.

After Honeydukes we went to Zonko's. I didn't actually buy anything and nor did the boys but we sure had a lot of fun just playing around with all the different products. Then after Zonko's Remus requested we stop in the Wizarding supply store so we could get him a new quill and parchment. I found myself eyeing up a nice crimson quill with Sirius.

Finally with all that done we figured we should finally get our butts moving for the butterbeer we promised we get.

"I'll get them all" I happily said as I twirled through the snow towards The Three Broomsticks.

"We can't have the lady buy." Sirius scolded with a frown.

"Oh come on, you guys bought me all this candy _and _you are carrying it." I pointed to the bags in their hands.

"It's the least we could do." Remus smiled.

"Give us a reason why you should buy us drinks then we will let you." James smirked feeling like I couldn't come up with a good enough reason.

"Hmmm" I thought for a moment with a wide grin as Peter held the door open for all of us. I was the first one in, but the minute I went in my grin faded into worry. Something didn't feel right. Didn't feel right either…I couldn't put my finger on it. Something was making my skin crawl and my heart race. I tried to ignore it and be as normal as possible I couldn't let the boys know something was up "No on second thought you guys can pay for it, Peter and I will get a nice table." I smiled knowing full well it didn't meet my eyes.

"Ooookay" James looked at me oddly as I grabbed Peters arm and pulled him over to a table in the corner, all the while keeping my eyes peeled.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" Peter questioned, I tried to meet his eyes but I couldn't. I was busy looking around hoping to find something anything that seemed to be giving me this ominous feeling. It was hopeless though, there were too many people in this building, I'd never find it out till they jumped out at me and said 'I'm going to kill you'.

"Oh you know, can't win against the curtsey of a gentleman." I lied knowing full well Peter would probably never pick up on it.

"Oh is that your reasoning?" Remus raised an eyebrow in disbelief and took a seat next to Peter and across from me.

"Something like that." I said not meeting Remus' eyes.

We waited the rest of the time in silence for James and Sirius to come with our drinks. I didn't want to start up a conversation and I think Remus wasn't sure of what to say and Peter was just, well Peter.

"Here you go mademoiselle" Sirius flashed me his favorite grin while sitting down next to me and handed me my drink.

"Thanks, Sirius." I said while rolling my eyes. "After this should we head up to the castle? I'm feeling a bit tired." I said hoping that answer was good enough for us. I didn't want us in any danger. To be honest I kept getting goosebumps from whatever this disturbance was.

"You are looking a bit off." Remus remarked, I could have hugged him.

"We could have left before we got your drinks if you weren't feeling well." James sighed looking at me in concern.

"No no no, we are celebrated our…singleness? Yeah, we gotta do it right!" I smiled and held up my butterbeer.

"Here here!" All the boys cheered as we clanked our glasses together with goofy grins.

"I think tomorrow for sure I will win Lily over, if not I'll swoon her." James said proudly and confidently. I snorted and tried not to spill my butterbeer all over.

"That's the spirit mate." Sirius smiled and pounded his fist with James knowing full well what was coming. James was going to go on his rant about Lily and how wonderful she is.

And sure enough he did. It was my turn to zone him out. The boys were now officially talking about girls and picking different ones out in the crowd of people in The Three Broomsticks. James of course would always say after he said one of the girls was good looking he would always add "Though nothing like my Lily-Flower".

I didn't pay attention though. I had closed my eyes and was trying to figure out where this strange feeling of panic, worry, and fear was seeping into. Slowly I breathed in and out, remembering my training, and took in all my surroundings.

That sweet smell…I know that smell. It's of a different blood. Vampire blood.

Quickly I shot my eyes open and sat there shaking. Oh god. I'm in danger.

My eyes darted back in forth. I need to calm down, I was only going to draw attention, but I couldn't. Where was this smell coming from?

"Hey Kobato? You okay?" James waved a hand in front of my face several times.

I didn't respond my eyes had finally stopped darting around. Four tables away were three pale beautiful figures. Coming off of them was that familiar scent of a Vampire. It was them, I was smelling them.

I closed my eyes again, hoping and praying they didn't smell me or notice me. If they didn't come up to me yet I was safe. As long and no one said my last name we could finish our butterbeers and get out of here, the sooner the better.

"Kobato? Kobato Ni-" Sirius started this time but I quickly cut him off.

"Fine, just fine!" I quickly snapped. "Sorry" I apologized after I said it, noticing how angry I sounded. "I just…I could use a nap."

"Obviously grouchy pants" Sirius glared still wounded by my comment.

"We are almost done and then we can go." Remus smiled as he finished off his butterbeer.

"No need to hurry for make sake, I'm not dying." I said even though deep inside my heart was screaming for us to get out of here.

"You've been acting ill ever since we got in here mate" James patted me on the head "And it's possible that you are dying, we never know with you." He laughed.

"Well you know" I shrugged.

"She looks fine to me." Peter wheezed a laugh.

"Thank you, Peter." I smiled "So any girl you are giving chocolate to Peter?" I questioned trying to change the subject, in the process hoping to get my mind off of what my heart was feeling.

"Oh…no, I figure no one would be interested." He heaved a heavy and heartbreaking sigh.

"You really think so?" I said acting dumbfounded at the thought.

Peter didn't get to answer. Right as he was about to, I felt a warm liquid drip all down my front. Remus and Peter who were sitting across from me were staring at something or someone behind me with more dislike then I have ever seen from them. I turned, along with James and Sirius to see Victoria, Taylor and a couple of other girls who I didn't know the names of smirking devilishly at me.

"Oh I'm sorry, I tripped, Nightray." Victoria's voice dripped with acid. I wasn't buying it, neither were any of the boys. Of course I knew Sirius wouldn't back me up on this. Talking to them would be feeding to the fan base and he didn't really care for the girls that were actually in the club openly. Can you blame him?

I ignored her in any case and rapidly flashed my eyes over to the Vampires. Whether they heard her say my last name or not, they weren't moving any differently before. I know Vampires have better hearing so they just might have. Maybe it didn't click, god I can only hope and pray.

"Goodness Nightray, I didn't think you were that rude not to accept an apology." Victoria carried on. I still was ignoring her as I pulled out my wand to dry myself off. "Then again you don't keep your promises. Or did you forget?" All eyes were turned to me on her words, Sirius and James looked at me in revulsion but yet curiously. Peter and Remus just looked confused as to why I would associate myself with any of those girls who I hated dearly.

"If you must know we can talk about this later. I do intend to keep my end of the bargain." I glared with as much strength I could muster as I got up from my chair. "Now if you excuse me, it looks like I've finished my butterbeer, so I'm going to head back to the castle." I said with a smile before leaving. I didn't like the fact that she said my last name twice. The Vampires were sure to notice at least the second time, she said it a lot louder than the first.

I didn't check to see if anyone was following me as I oddly walked around tables attempting to avoid the Vampires.

"Wait up" Sirius called after me. I turned around once I was outside in the fresh air to see James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter all surrounding me.

"Sure thing" I said, not really wanting to wait, but I waited none the less so at least we'd have strength in numbers just in case.

"Ruined our fun didn't they? Good thing I cast a nice little spell for them. I sure hope they like hair legs for a couple of weeks." James grinned wildly at the thought.

"They deserve it the hairy trolls." I said with irritation.

"Sorry" Sirius said in distant voice "It's because you are friends with me." He sighed feeling guilty.

"I don't know about that Sirius, it seems like they wanted something from you, Kobato." Remus looked at me with questioning eyes.

"They do" I said while picking up the pace of my steps. I could just feel dark eyes on us. Someone was following us, whether the boys were aware or not.

"What could they want from you?" James asked furrowing his brows.

"Oh just information on Sirius, needless to say I'm not really giving it." I shifted my eyes in a guilty manner. It couldn't hide the fear though I was feeling. I knew they were behind us. I could just tell as my stomach fell farther and farther.

"You can, it won't bother me. The truth might make them leave me alone." Sirius laughed hopefully.

"Nah, I won't tak-" I started but my words were cut off as two figures appeared in front of us in an menacing looking manner.

"Sorry to interrupt" The man in the middle said in a silky voice. Any girl would let her knees buckle at his words, I was too busy letting a shiver trace it's way up my spin though to swoon. "Miss Nightray was it?" He questioned inching forward, while the girl just stood there. Where was the other boy? My mind raced and my eyes wondered. We were not safe.

I inched forward as well not letting my fear rule me. "Yes, that would be me." I smiled as warmly as I could. This scent, oh god. "Sir Cogsworth, correct?" I didn't let my smile falter, though I felt James and Sirius shift behind me.

"Truly honored someone of your royalty has heard of our noble heritage." He smiled sickly as he walked even closer to me. I could practically touch him now.

"It is my job as a Noble Nightray to know." I bowed knowing I was exposing my neck in the process.

"And what a beautiful Noble you are." He commented as I made my way back up to meet his eyes.

"Thank you." Was all I could manage to squeeze out. "I am most sorry we could not spend time to talk more, but we are in a hurry back to the castle." I bowed and excused myself from their presence, hoping they would let me go.

We were able to walk a bit. I started to breathe a little better. But it was short lasted. Before I could react there were cold hands around my wrist pulling me away from the boys. I was thrown close up against the Vampires body.

"Oh but darling, I haven't even had one small taste." He grinned wildly showing his fangs off proudly.

I swallowed hard as I pulled out my gun and pointed it straight at his head.

"One taste isn't going to hurt." He said not flinching from my guns force.

"One small shot from this gun isn't going to hurt." I retorted as I pushed myself away from him.

"Now now, let's play nice." He frowned and looked at me still with hunger in his eyes.

I smirked "I am playing nice." Which wasn't the right thing to say because in one motion he was attacking me with metal daggers, clearly the Cogsworth abilities lies within metals. I flipped backwards and prepaid myself by pulling out my other gun and stared at him with malice.

"Kobato!" I heard Sirius scream behind me. They were looking at me in panic and it seemed like there was no one else in the streets, just us. All alone.

"Go! Go get Vaveriuz! NOW!" I cried out not taking my eyes off of the Vampire before me.

"We'll go." I heard James say confidently. "I saw her in The Three Broomsticks." I turned around to see James, Remus, and Peter head back from where we came, but Sirius just inched closer to me.

"Sirius, no" I cried looking at him in disbelief. Bad move on my part. I felt a sharp dagger cut through my arm, smearing blood into the snow around me. "Crap." I muttered as I stood up and lazily aimed my guns at him. I watched as he breathed in deep, the scent of my blood. Sirius was at my side now. He grabbed my arm confidently. I on the other hand was shaking. Not only did I have to save myself, I had to save Sirius.

"I see how it is you have your pet Wizard, is that the only blood you will drink Nightray?" The Vampire let out a laugh. Sirius squeezed my hand trying to give me more courage. I threw his arm off feeling annoyed as I ran. The Vampire followed me and we both started to battle.

He was throwing daggers at me and I was firing my best shots. We were running, flipping, and doing anything to dodge each other. I had completely lost myself as we carried on ruthlessly.

I was holding my own until I heard Sirius cry out. I was in a mid flip and I found myself crashing hard to the ground as I watched him struggle to get the female Vampire away from him. I watched not moving at all, as she bit deep into his flesh…his skin…his precious beautiful skin and started to drink his blood.

"NO!" I screamed out horrified at the sight I was seeing. Quickly I threw myself up and went to pull the trigger on my gun. I was too slow though. The male Vampire already had his arms around me and was ready to skin his fangs in.

"Kobato!" I heard Sirius cry, he was doing alright. He didn't lose a lot of blood. He was okay! My heart soared in hope before I realized how close this Vampires fangs were to my neck.

Panicking I turned my gun around bending my arm in a way it shouldn't go and with as much power as I owned I pulled the trigger. He let go the minute the bullet hit his stomach with an ear piercing scream, I watched as my Nocturne of Death sucked the life out of him in swirling darkness and draining him as he dispersed in to sand. Not giving it a second thought I ran towards Sirius who was laying on the ground. The girl Vampire was gone. That scared me. I looked around quickly as I ran to Sirius. That's when I noticed Vaveriuz, gun in hand by a pile of ashes of what I assumed to be the female Vampire. I didn't give it a second look as I ran over to Sirius, who was whimpering and crying. He was in the weakest state I had ever seen him. I had a hard time holding myself together as I grabbed onto him tightly letting his blood soak me.

"God no…Help…someone help!" I cried out letting the tears flow down my face. "Sirius…someone! HELP!" I cried louder letting my heart scream out as I sobbed into him.

"Kobato, calm down I'm fine." Sirius laughed as he hugged me back. "Just a flesh wound." He teased.

I didn't look at him, I stared forward in the blood covered snow. It had to look worse than it was. "Sirius! No…you're not okay" I continued to sob. "There's so much blood…"I continued to cry as my vision blurred farther. "Blood…" I repeated as I shook more violently.

"Come on Kobato, we need to get him medical help." I felt Vaveriuz attempt to pull me off as I clung tighter and tighter.

"No…" I was freaking out now. "No one touch him…no one." I started to rock a bit as I cried harder. I was starting to feel dizzy, I couldn't breathe that well. "He…No one…there's blood" I mumbled not making much sense as everything was starting to go black. "No one touch Sirius…I lo-" I started before everything blacked out around me.

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**A/N: A shorter chapter no doubt about that. But I hoped you liked the seriousness of it. Bringing the war closer to home…The next chapter will be light and fluffy :) **


	24. Chapter 24: Miracle

**Chapter 24: Surely, I've searched for the unfading miracle named "you".**

**A/N: I'm thinking I'll make this story go till chapter 32ish, is what I'm figuring for what I have planned out. Might make it till 35, we will have to wait and see. I'm excited for the next several chapters and you should be too. (Thanks for the reviews as well :3)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

I wasn't cold. And blood wasn't filling my nose. Where was I? I was laying down in a soft warm bed…

Sirius, where was? I remember clinging to him, what happened? Where am I? Is everything alright? Did I really kill that Vampire?

My mind was racing as I opened my eyes to the moonlight room. It took a while to process where I was as my eyes scanned back and forth.

The hospital wing. I let out a sigh of relief as I looked around now with softer eyes. There Sirius was in a bed right across from me looking healthy. Fully healthy, just exhausted. I let out a sigh before I got out of bed to walk over to him. As quietly as I could I sat down on the bed across from him and pulled my knees up to my chest to watch him sleep. He was so handsome. Seeing him with that blood was a nightmare. It was all my fault. I couldn't save him from danger and here I was trying to save him.

I remember clinging to him though. Why did I cling so much? Why did I ca-

I remember, as I clung to him that feeling. My heart was cleaving in two. I thought I was going to lose him. I was going to lose the one I love. I'm in love with Sirius Black.

The thought took me by surprise. I quickly jumped off the bed and backed away from Sirius sleeping form as my eyes widened in disbelief.

Could I be sure? How did I know? My mind was now racing on a new train of thought as I sat back down on the bed.

What caused me to fall in love with him? Was it all those mornings eating breakfast? The walks we took back from the Qudditch field arm in arm laughing? Our Thursday night adventures of talking in his bed? Our duels? Everything that makes Sirius and I…Sirius and I?

What had I gotten myself into? How could I possibly love Sirius? Did I really deserve him? I somehow slipped and I let him get hurt. Someone this precious to me suffered something close to what happened to me. I promised myself I'd never see anything like that happen again and it did, to Sirius. The one person I was sent to save.

I started to feel the tears swell up within my eyes. I crawled forward on my bed to stare at Sirius sleeping form. He looked fine. Somehow I think his wounds weren't as bad as my mind was making them to be. He was bitten, not viciously, but bitten. He was alive and looking well. But I still let him get hurt. I couldn't be a Vampire hunter at this rate.

The sobs continued. My heart dropped.

I'm not as good as I thought I was. I can't complete this mission. I can't do it as I am now. My small weak body frame isn't enough. There's no way that's what Sirius wants and there's truly no way I can save him as I am. I couldn't stay like this. I was in danger here and I wasn't strong enough. I had to grow up and face my fears.

I let out another loud sob as I started to rock back and forth on my bed. I had to let go of my childish ways. I had to be a Vampire. I cried out harder, not bothering to muffle my cries or my screaming heart. This was the last thing I wanted, but if it meant saving the world and keeping myself safe to do that, I would. Harry gave up so much more than I ever will be able too. So as a Gryffindor I should be brave right?

"Kobato, are you okay?" Sirius soft voice broke my sobs. I looked up through my tear streaked face. His eyes were soft and full of compassion as he stared at me through the moonlight. The tenderness in his eyes and voice made me back away and cower on my bed. I had almost forgotten where I was. "What's wrong?" He asked even more gingerly than before.

I didn't say anything. I couldn't, I felt too ashamed. I watched as he got up off his bed in a slower pace then he normally would walk, he came over to me and sat next to me. I still inched away as far as I could and grabbed my pillow using it as a shield to hide my face as I continued to cry out quietly.

"Hey" Sirius said in high spirits as he attempted to pull away the pillow. I wouldn't let him though. I continued to cower into a little ball. "Why are you hiding, come on doll. It's me Sirius, you don't have to hide from me." He questioned still attempted to pull me out of my little ball.

"No" I said realizing I didn't make any sense as I held on tighter and tighter.

"No?" Sirius laughed at me "Come on I don't blame you for what happened if that's what this is about."

"No" I said again letting my sobs slow down a bit. Sirius was calming me down and making my heart feel lighter somehow. I couldn't describe it. When did this start happening? Had it always been like this? Had he always been able to make me feel happier? Loved? Important? Like he is now?

"Kobato I'm not hurt you know. She barely got any blood out. Professor Vaveriuz saved me just in time." Sirius stopped pulling on me. His voice was still light hearted like it usually was. I peeked through the pillow wondering if he really meant it. He was sounding like he didn't care that any of this happened. Was that really true? I had so many questions tonight floating through my head.

I still didn't say anything. We sat there staring at each other in the moonlight searching each other's hearts until Sirius couldn't take it anymore. With a heavy sigh he picked me up as if I was a light feather and placed me on his lap, ripping the pillow out of my hand. Gentle he pulled me towards him so he could see my whole face. I was shaking slightly from being cold, but that just made him hold on tighter. "I was scared for you." He said in a serious tone as he brushed my hair to the side, leaving him to be able to behold my face. "I couldn't just leave you no matter how much you begged me." He smiled continuing to run his hands through my hair. "You're my best friend and best friends are there for each other no matter what."

I let out a sob, this time of joy as I threw my arms tightly around him and hugged him. "Thank you." I whispered into his ear as I let the tears flow out. "I'm glad we are friends, truly I am." I smiled and pulled away.

"There's my Kobato." He smiled with his usual grin and held me tighter still. "I'm just glad you are safe."

"I don't think I'm safe. I'm in Sirius Black's arms, just saying." I smirked and then quickly hid my head in his chest. He was so warm and he smelt so good. How could I ever hate him? He was so nice, fun, and sweet.

"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked while trying to push me away so he could give me a stern look.

"Oh you know." I teased right back.

"No I don't, explain to me." He demanded with a pout.

"I hear you have a thing for girls." I narrowed my eyes in a good-humored manner and tried my hardest not to laugh. Sirius stared at me for a moment before he pushed me off his lap.

"Kobato Nightray, are you implying that I want to snog you?" Sirius glared at me but his tone was light, he was obviously teasing me.

"Probably" I laughed "I'm not the one upset that we didn't kiss on Christmas."

"I'm not upset." Sirius said looking at me with a stern face.

"Right" I said with a raised eyebrow. "And I'm in love with your brother."

"I wouldn't put it past you, you crazy pureblooded freak." Sirius poked my forehead.

We fell silent for a moment. I think the hour was starting to catch up with us, we were getting tired. I let out a soft yawn.

"Maybe we should get some rest." Sirius got off of my bed "Go on get under the covers."

I stared at him before doing as I was told. Slowly I got under the covers and curled up. Once Sirius was satisfied he laid down next to me looking concerned.

"What are you doing?" My eyes widened at him in fear. It was one thing to be held in his arms but why is he snuggling next to me?

"You never told me why you were crying earlier." He said sternly. "You can rest your eyes but at least tell me what's happening inside that crazy mind of yours." He smiled and leaned in putting his forehead against mine. The touch of his forehead on mine, his breath mixing with mine, was making my face creep into a light pink. My heart was picking up the pace. I was beginning to feel dizzy with this feeling taking over my heart. I couldn't think straight, he was too close. I slowly inched away a bit and closed my eyes.

"Do I have to tell you?" I managed to whisper.

Sirius let out a soft laugh "I think you forgot again. We are friends" He leaned in close again. "That means we share our problems."

"Yes, but I'm embarrassed." I said truthfully as I opened my eyes. "I'm just being childish." I sighed.

"You are never childish." Sirius said "So tell me what's bothering you."

"But Sirius…" I whined but quickly stopped after the firm glare he was giving me. "I'm just afraid of the future." I finally spat out. "I can't go to Hogsmeade without being attacked…what's going to happen this summer? Will I always be in this much danger?" I cried out letting fresh tears streak down my face.

Sirius smiled and pulled me in. He didn't have anything to say. I'm sure he didn't have any answers himself. No one really knew what the future could hold. Who would have guessed we would be here like this. Told me this a year ago and I would have hexed you. But now, in his arms, this feels so right, so warm, and so comforting. It's something to sleep to. And it was.

I don't know how but I fell asleep in Sirius' arms. But when I woke up in the morning to a bustling and worrying Madam Pomfry, Sirius was gone and in his bed. It took her a good hour to fix us both up, make sure we had our potions and what not until she left us alone and in deflated spirits. Though both of us were feeling fine and perfect for daily life back in the castle she wanted to keep us in here till at least Monday afternoon.

We spent the whole day in there with James, Peter, and Remus. Lily and Raven did stop by for a bit, but after spending fifteen minutes in there with James she claimed that she had an essay to work and left in a hurry dragging Raven with her. So it left me with the boys once again until dinner. Once dinner came around Madam Pomfry shooed them out to let Trigger and several Castrogiovanni family members who were on the Vampire Council discuss what had happened from our view. They had already talked Vaveriuz, James, Peter, and Remus, but they wanted what happened in full. They also needed me to sign a couple of things since I had killed a Vampire. Luckily it was only a Vampire and not an Elite or Pureblood.

The chat didn't go that smoothly. Halfway through talking I started having a break down and attempted to run out of the hospital wing. The disturbance caused Madam Pomfry to basically kick the Council out not caring who they were. Trigger and Scarlet managed to say. Madam Pomfry knew Trigger wouldn't upset me and she trusted Trigger's judgment for letting Scarlet stay. I didn't mind, I had to talk to Trigger about something.

"I'm still very proud of you." Trigger repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time.

"I'm not" I finally admitted now that it was a smaller group of people.

"Why not? I know this has been hard on you, but you did great." Trigger smiled.

"We need to talk." I said suddenly getting up off my bed.

"What's wrong?" Trigger's eyes widened as he watched my heavy movements.

"We need to talk." I repeated again while pulling on his arm.

"Go on then, I'll stay here." Scarlet said to Trigger who still wasn't moving.

Finally Trigger gave a quick nod to Scarlet and then let me lead him to the corner of the hospital wing. Grabbing my wand tightly I cast a spell around us so that Scarlet and Sirius couldn't listen in.

I let out a sigh after I finished and looked shyly at my feet, not ready to say what I wanted to say.

"Trigger?" I finally said in a soft whisper, but I knew he'd hear it anyways with his sharp Vampire hearing.

"Yes, Kobato?" He responded in a soft voice as well. He looked at me with such heavy eyes, he could tell something was bothering me and it was clearly affecting him.

"I can't do this anymore." I looked down at my feet. "We have too…this summer." I said realizing I probably wasn't making much sense at all.

"Kobato…" He whispered while gently grabbing my chin and titling it up for him to see my eyes. "If you are still afraid we don't have too." He said comprehending what I was talking about.

"I'm done being a child, I need to do this. I need to be stronger. If I can't save myself I can't save him." I said in a strong voice.

"I will have to talk it through with the Council" He didn't look me in the eyes when he said it. I couldn't help but wonder what was playing through his mind. I feel like he never wanted this for me. "I'm sure the Castrogiovanni's will agree with me. It's the best we can do given the circumstances." He sighed and ran his hand over his forehead. "Once we get back to our time I'll have to have a long talk with the rest of the Nightrays." He let out another sigh. "And you have to decide if you want to be a Nightray for sure or keep your real last night."

"I already know what I want." I nodded trying not to let my heart fell heavy. It was close though, I was starting to feel the pain and worry Trigger was. I was scared, I wasn't going to lie about that, but I needed too. I had to do this. "I want to be a Nightray."

My words seemed to have impacted Trigger. He was obviously not expecting me to say that because taking on the name of Nightray meant of a ton of responsibilities. Ones that I was prepared for the minute I took this mission. "Kobato" Trigger whispered in a heavy voice as he pulled me into the tightest hug I have ever felt from him. It was filled with so much emotion. I could feel all the care and love he had for me and yet this sense of happiness, joy, and how proud he was of me. It was beginning to get a little over whelming. "You've grown up so much." His voice was wavering like he was about to cry. But I knew he wouldn't. He was just filled with emotions.

"Hardly, I'm still that selfish hotheaded little girl." I said laughing.

Trigger pulled away from our tight hug. "Keep thinking that." He smiled and turned to return back to Scarlet. It took me a couple of moments before I felt the needed to move, but finally I followed and went back into the bed I was supposed to be resting in.

"I'm sorry Scarlet, I'll write a proper report on what happened later." I said acting as if Trigger and I never had this talk. "It's just over whelming right now."

"We, the Council, fully understand." She said trying to read my eyes on what happened between Trigger and I just then. She wouldn't have to wait long. Trigger would surely talk to her first. They seem to becoming great friends. "He was no doubt a Cogsworth and we do not mourn his loss for his crimes. Several laws were threatening to be broken and one was." She nodded over towards Sirius who had a slight scar on his neck.

"Law 24, one shall not bite or drink the blood of a pureblood wizard without consent." I said in a monotone voiced.

"Yes, precisely" Scarlet nodded.

"But whatever happened to the other boy that was with them." The thought just dawned on me. There were three Vampires. I only saw two.

"Ran, once he realized they were going to break laws he got scared and ran." Trigger answered.

"So he probably was never really with them from the start." I commented.

"Probably not" Scarlet said with a sigh "That's why I wish we could have found him. Vaveriuz searched and as soon as we got a team there they searched as well but to no avail."

"Well at least we have two less trouble makers." I shrugged.

"For now" Trigger said in a heavy voice. "Why don't we let you get some sleep?" He said still in a heavy voice. I couldn't understand why.

"Okay" I swallowed out.

"I'll send you those papers tomorrow after I talk with the Council." Trigger said and then turned and left without so much of a hug or a comforting smile.

I stared at him confused. I wasn't the only one. Scarlet was staring where his figure had been. She had a furrowed brow and was looking more concerned than I had ever seen her. When we finally heard the click of the door she spoke "What happened? What did you tell him?" She questioned in a hurried but concerned voice.

"You'll find out soon enough." I said while closing my eyes so that tears wouldn't escape.

"Fair enough" She smiled but her whole heart wasn't in it. "Get some rest, you too Sirius" She smiled over to Sirius before leaning in and giving me a soft hug.

"Goodbye Scarlet" I smiled as she pulled away.

"Goodnight and be safe." She smiled and left, leaving me wearier than I was hours ago.

I didn't move for a while. Sirius didn't either until after he was sure they were gone and not coming back. He quickly got up and went over to my bed and sat at the edge of it near my feet. "You did great today." He smiled warmly.

"With what? Talking with the Council? Their so hard to talk to..." I snorted a laugh feeling I did miserable. I had a break down. I couldn't give them all the facts. And my mind kept going back to what needed to be done. Not only that, my mind kept repeating that I was a failure over and over again. It was weighing heavy on my heart. I had to make this right. I had to save Sirius.

"You do just fine with Scarlet." He patted my feet.

"That's because...I don't know. She really likes Trigger." I shook my head thinking of why she is so agreeable and down to earth.

"Some competition for you" He laughed playfully.

I glared at him "Hardly I don't like Trigger like that." I rolled my eyes "I happen to like someone else apparently." I said in a soft whisper as a blush crept up on my cheeks.

"What was that?" Sirius questioned while leaning in putting his ear close to my mouth "You mumbled I couldn't hear you."

The blush on my cheeks deepened. With an angry glare I pushed Sirius' face away from mine. "None of your business" I snapped in a somewhat playful manner.

"So you like someone else huh?" He raised a nosy eyebrow.

I crossed my arms and continued to glare at him. "I did not say that. I just said I don't like Trigger like that. He's like my brother." I said as if it were obvious.

Sirius' lips twitched up into his usual grin "If you insist." He said in his cocky voice.

I glared at him a bit more before I grabbed my blankets and threw them over my head "I do and goodnight, Black." I said to let him know this conversation was done and I was annoyed.

"Oh Nightray" He teased not caring at all that I was annoyed with him.

I didn't bother looking over at him as I pulled my wand out and pointed it at him, still lying in bed. "Such a pain in my-"

I started but he cut me off "Don't say things you don't mean, doll." He laughed and finally got up off my bed leaving me in peace.

* * *

Madam Pomfry kept to her word that she would release us on Monday evening. Who didn't kept to their words were Trigger. He never sent me the letter on Monday. I waited and I waited, but it never came. A letter did come from the Council as a thanks. My guess was Trigger had not brought it up. He was probably lost in his thoughts and still trying to figure out if I really meant what I had said. I couldn't blame him for not believing me, but it was still hard. Usually Trigger was so on top of things. So something was bothering him about this. I know he knows my feelings and how scared I have been to be a Vampire, but I'm not really scared anymore. I'm more scared of something going wrong and not being able to protect the ones I love then being a Vampire.

A whole week went by and no word from Trigger himself. Fay had written me several times telling me how distraught Trigger was and had asked me several times what was going on. She even mentioned that Scarlet had said that he and I had a talk and ever since then he has not been the same. She wanted to get to the root of things and so did Scarlet apparently. Eventually I started throwing out the daily letters without reading them. I loved Fay and all but this was more then I could handle. I didn't want to be the source of Trigger's grief.

It didn't take long before Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter, seeing as they eat breakfast with me, noticed that I kept burning letters as I got them or just throwing them away. It was a Thursday morning right before Herbology that they finally said something. I had just gotten another letter from Fay and was beginning to fall into a sour mood.

"I know you are a little weird, but burning letters as you get them isn't normal." Sirius laughed, though he was looking at me in concern.

"They aren't the letters I want." I sighed as I put out the letter I had just lit on fire.

"But I'm sure they want a reply back, hence why they keep sending them." Remus commented.

I glared at him and shook my wand at him. "Fay can wait, she's being nosy like usual. I don't see why she just doesn't read Trigger's mind. She can you know" I rolled my eyes. "Maybe I'll write that to her after class." I said thoughtfully.

"Is this about the talk you two had in the hospital wing?" Sirius questioned with a raised eyebrow.

"None of your business either." I snapped and got up feeling upset from all the questioning. Can't it just be normal? I let out a heavy sigh and walked out of the great hall heading towards Herbology early.

"Kobato! Wait up! Come on!" I stopped where I was going and turned to see Sirius running towards me. I didn't move or say anything I just waited for him to come to me. He didn't seem in low spirits, he still seemed happy despite me chewing his head off. "I know what will cheer you up." He smiled acting all knowingly.

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"We have Quidditch practice tonight." He grinned from ear to ear. "Our game against Ravenclaw is coming up and we will for sure flatten them and take the Quidditch cup. Maybe the house cup too, if we are lucky!" Sirius said happily while putting an arm around my shoulder and steering me to class.

"Oh that's right." I said only half forgetting my worries.

"Afterwards I'll take you to the kitchens for some hot chocolate. And what was that I heard in your announcement this morning? You like Angel food cake?" He prodded me farther with his goofy grin.

"Is that what I said this morning?" I teased "I hardly remember." I laughed finally letting my heart losing up.

"I remember everything you say darling." Sirius said while looking down at me.

"Creepier." I pushed away with a laugh and started running towards the greenhouses.

Sirius knew how to get me in a better mood. By the time Herbology was done I was soaring and back to my usual self. I did as I said I would, send a letter to Fay and told her to just read Trigger's mind because this was too important to put in a letter.

After that the day just seemed to kind of drag on till we were heading down the windy and cold field for some Quidditch practice. The snow may have been melting since it was almost March, but it was still a blistery cold day out. That didn't dampen our spirits though. We were all excited and smiling ear to ear at the thought that we might just win the Quidditch cup this year, we just needed to flatten Ravenclaw by at least 250 points. Which was an easy feat for us, well at least that's what our pompous heads told us.

It was about an hour into practice and I was shivering so bad and beginning to cough a bit.

"James?" I cried out after I was starting to cough up blood. My search for the snitch wasn't going to well. They had released it at the start of practice and I had yet to find it an hour later.

"Yeah, Kobato?" James called out after he passed the quaffle to someone else.

I flew closer to him so we were side by side. "You mind if I call it quits?" I questioned coughing a bit of blood into my hand.

"Yeah, go on in." James patted me on the back with a worried smile "Sirius? Get over here." He yelled out to Sirius who was half way across the field hitting a bludger to no one in particular.

"James?" He yelled out as he made his way over to us.

"Can you take Kobato inside? She's not feeling well." James asked as soon as Sirius parked his broom next to us.

Sirius stared at me looking me over in concern before he answered "Of course." He finally smiled.

"Thanks James." I said before heading down onto the patchy snow. Once we landed I smiled over at Sirius "Thank you as well Sirius." I smiled feeling a little bit weak and tired.

"You're welcome" Sirius said while grabbing my broom out of my hands and heading to put it away. I followed him as best as I could, but he was walking a bit faster. Once he put the brooms away he walked back over to me and took his time walking. "Ready?" He questioned while crouched down. I just started at him weird "Hop on my back." He said after a long pause of exchanged confused looks.

"Seriously?" I questioned not bothering to move.

"Yes seriously." He laughed.

I stared a bit more before finally climbing on to his back. Surprisingly it was cozy and warm. And for some odd reason it felt right. "Mmmm" I smiled as I nuzzled my head into his back.

"What?" He questioned in a worried voice.

"You smell good." I admitted before gasping, noticing my slip up to late.

Sirius let out his bark of a laugh "You feeling okay? You just complimented me." He continued to laugh as we walked out into the cold wind.

"I can do it again." I said in a muffled voice, I was still nuzzled nicely on his back.

"What compliment me?" He asked while slightly turning to see me.

"Yes I could, bu-" I had to stop to let out a couple of violent coughs. "But" I tried once more but stopped myself in one more fit of coughs. Sirius waited patiently for my answer as he continued to walk towards the castle. "I'm not that nice." I finally finished in a weak voice.

"I can believe that." Sirius said while pulling me up higher.

"One day I'll be really nic-" I stopped I felt something land on my head "Ahhhh!" I screamed realizing something was up. The commotion was enough for me to slip out of Sirius arms and knock him over, me landing right on top of him.

"What happened?" He panic and as gently as he could with me on top of him turned around.

I was looking around to see an Owl flying away over head. I then looked down by my feet to see a letter laying there addressed to me in what looked like Trigger's hand writing.

"Well are you going to open it? Or just burn it like the rest?" Trigger questioned as we sat there on the damp ground.

"I…" I didn't know what to say. I was shocked and scared, but I was also excited all at once.

"I can open it for you." Sirius said while getting up.

"Let's just get inside first." I said despite how curious I was. Sirius nodded and let me back onto his back. From there it was a silent walk back to the dorm. He let me be to my thoughts and I was grateful. I had a lot to wonder about. What I wasn't grateful for was that he pulled me straight to his dorm and set me on his bed. He handed me some of his clothing and turned around leaving me to change. I figured there was no point in protesting so I didn't, instead I did what I was told.

"Okay you can turn around now." I said as I settled myself down in his bed and grabbed my letter.

He took a seat at the end of the bed, giving me my space to read my letter. "Go on then, you've been waiting for this." He smiled with his lips but his eyes…there was something else in his eyes.

I tried to shrug it off as I opened the letter. But I was shaking. I was scared and sick with anticipation.

_Kobato,_

_I'm sorry I couldn't do this sooner. Yes, I was deathly afraid of what happened to you but I also remember everything you have ever told me. I know your heart well enough and I knew of your fears. I just wanted to give you time to re-think this over. The last thing I want to do is rush you into something you will regret. _

_So after a week of waiting for you to reconsider, I talked to Scarlet. I decided to talk to her first since she knows you and is on the council herself. She thought it was a great idea and was relieved that's all that has been on my mind lately. She was so worried herself when the council got a report that there was a Vampire attack in Hogsmeade. Both her and I went to the search, imagine or horror to see both you and Sirius passed out and being taken back to the Castle at top speeds to be cared for? No one knew if you had been bitten or not. We knew Sirius had been because he didn't lose a lot of blood and was cracking up jokes. The blood that was covering the snow was yours. You had been cut in several places but from the looks of it, it wasn't anything by fangs. And the blood that was covering Sirius, was yours. His was a mere flesh wound. I'm sure you know all this, but it was horrifying. We will be talking to the rest of the Castrogiovanni tonight. I see no reason for them to turn it down. _

_I expect it will start the minute you get home for summer since you will have a lot of changes to go through before you can continue on your mission, which I would like to discuss in full now that I feel you are ready. _

_Stay safe and remember I love you,_

_-Trigger_

I stared at the letter still not able to process it all. I was still shaking and coughing here and there, but everything seemed to hit me like a brick. It was really happening. After years of running from my fate, feeling afraid of what would happen, I had to face it. I swallowed hard remembering Sirius was in the room and looked up at him with a weary smile, as I searched for a lie.

"Was this the letter you were waiting for?" Sirius answered staring at me with much curiosity.

"Yes" I let my lips twitch up into a smile, though my heart wanted to cry for some odd reason. "I get to..." I started searching my brain for a lie "I get to go back to America this summer. I get to go home." It was the best lie I could think of, but it worked. Sirius' smiled for ear to ear before tackling me in a bear tight hug.

"That's great!" He cried out in happiness knowing how much this must have meant to me. If only it were true. It hurt that I was lying to him.

"Yeah…" I said while pulling away from the hug. With one last smile I folded up the letter and tucked it away with my wet Quidditch clothing.

"Everything okay?" He as he watched my heavy weary body.

"What? Oh, just exhausted." I said as my mind was racing to figure this all out.

"I guess we won't have any adventures tonight." He smiled "It's Thursday and all we get to do is rest." He laughed, though I could tell he was disappointed our Thursday night hang out was wasted.

"Next Thursday we can cause mayhem or something." I smiled as I leaned back to rest my head on his pillow.

"How about that kiss?" Sirius questioned. My eyes snapped open at his words.

I rolled my eyes then threw his pillow at him "Always back to that kiss huh?" I said raising an accusing eyebrow.

"Not always" He protested while grabbing the pillow and holding it tight.

"Fine" I said glaring "Can I have that pillow back? I'm trying to rest." I asked with pouty eyes.

"No because you owe me an apology and a kiss now." Sirius said in a childish voice.

"Fine" I crawled towards him and acted like I was going to kiss him. Instead I head butted him. The shock caused him to let go of the pillow, which I quickly snatched and laid back down, closing my eyes quickly.

"Cheater!" He grumbled.

His comment made me laugh "I'm not the one who would date 10 girls at a time…"

"Yeah! And I'm not the one…who…who" He stopped and looked at me searching for the right thing to say before he pointed an accusing finger at me "Who who…who"

"Spit it out" I laughed.

Sirius pushed me "Who doesn't tell their friends thi…things." He said in a voice that told me he wasn't really sure of himself and not sure if that's what he wanted to say.

"What am I not telling you?" I raised an eyebrow and stared at him as if he was an idiot.

"I don't…you…" Sirius glared at me "Get some rest." He snapped finally. I just grinned at him while he struggled with his thoughts. It's official. I'm in love with him. And I'm glad he's my best friend.


	25. Chapter 25: The moon also shines

**Chapter 25: When the sun is full of smiles, the moon also shines.**

**A/N: You know why I love the reviews? Because I don't remember what I wrote in the chapter before and then I laugh to myself and I have to think that I plan this out too much if I don't remember what I wrote hours after I submitted it. So here's to not remembering! (I'll forget half this chapter within the hour of releasing this :P) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

"You finally willing to talk?" Victoria glared at me. She had two other girls with her. I should really know their names but it had seemed to of slipped from my mind. I was on my way to the library to meet up with Lily and Raven to work on my Charms essay, but these girls had found me and felt it was fit to pull me into an empty classroom.

It had been at least two weeks since I had received the letter from Trigger which meant this Saturday is the Qudditch match against Ravenclaw…and let me tell you, all I wanted to do was get my homework done before that. But these annoying girls are in my way.

"There's not much to tell." I stood as tall as I could and faced these girls who were all glaring down at me. This wouldn't be such a problem, but I'm alone with them in a classroom. And there is three of them and one of me.

"Oh there is. Sirius hasn't been doing much of anything! In fact it's gotten worse since over break! And you've been spending a lot of time with him." Victoria rambled on as she pulled out her wand and brandished in the air. "You have to know something. You can't tell me you don't."

I shook my head with a sigh "Of course I know" I took a seat on the desk nearest me, hoping I was safe to do at least that. "But you see…" I was about to tell them that I didn't feel it was my place to say, but one quick look at the glare I was receiving made me think otherwise. "Okay fine" I let out a sigh "I'll tell you."

"Knew you'd see it our way" Victoria beamed. All her other girls perked up as well and inched closer to me.

"Sirius, what he said was he is trying to find the right one for him." I said truthfully. The girls just stared at me for a moment without saying anything.

Till the small girl on the right said something, "What does that even mean?" She half snorted while the other half of her seemed to be disbelieving of my words.

"I wouldn't expect girls like _you _to understand" I spat with venom while crossing my arms. "He just wants to find his true love and stop with all the nonsense. Can you understand that?" I angrily said while getting off the desk. Once again they didn't say anything. I think they were just taken a back but what the answer was. I just rolled my eyes and left. If they didn't want to believe me, then I didn't need to be by them. It's as simple as that. I'm not going to waste my time or energy that I didn't have on girls with half a brain. I was busy enough with practice for the Qudditch match that was coming up, all the homework, essays, and test, plus the constant letters from Trigger and Fay, and my mission to have to worry about those silly girls 'problems'.

They had upset me enough just from that small encounter to completely abandon my studies and not go to the library all together. Instead I found myself going back to the common room, where I had just come from. I was stomping and fuming all the way to the Fat Lady as I crawled through and walked in blindly. Only to come to a crashing halt as I walked straight into someone.

"Bearings?" I questioned as I looked up at who I had crashed into. "I am so sorry." I smiled in apology, despite how awkward this felt. I hadn't talk to Bearings since we won our first Quidditch match at the start of the year.

"It's okay, you look bothered. Everything alright?" He questioned ignoring the fact that he pretty much dropped off the face of the earth.

"Oh yeah…just got cornered by Sirius' fangirls." I rolled my eyes to show my annoyance.

"Care to go for a walk and talk about it then?" He questioned hopefully.

"Not much to say, but a walk would be nice." I smiled warmly.

He started walking and led me out of the common room. "They still think you are hitting up on Sirius?" He questioned as we walked.

"Something like that…I guess it's been hard on them since Sirius won't date anyone." I laughed.

Bearings joined in "I bet that would make them unhappy." He said before shaking his head "I don't see what's so good about him. He's an arrogant prick who's not even that good looking."

I let out a sigh "I used to think that too you know." I smiled "But then once you get to know him he's alright." I admitted.

"You don't like him do you?" His questioned caught me by surprise, I found myself blushing instantly.

"I…no we are just friends" I denied feeling the blush intensify.

"Are you telling me that or yourself?" He asked stopping mid-step as we were going down the stairs.

I stared at him and bit my lower lip. "We are just friends, that much I can tell you."

"So then the rumors that Sirius is dating you in secret are…?"

I smiled at him "I hadn't heard that rumor, Yeah it's a complete lie." I thought for a moment "Though I think that would be a nice shocker. Sirius dating someone in secret…that wouldn't last" I laughed. A small silence fell upon us. I think we were just left in our thoughts till he finally broke the silence.

"Anyways, how have you been? I've been hearing rumors that your family got attacked at Christmas and then you were attacked in Hogsmeade." He asked now starting to walk again.

"Yeah, those rumors are completely true. I mean…it hasn't ruined my life, but it has been hard." I smiled warmly "So I mean other than that, I've been great. How about you?"

He sighed "Good, just been bored." He laughed.

"Bored? With all this homework, I question you." I laughed. "You sure you are going to Hogwarts?"

He stopped for a moment seeming to fidget. "This is going to seem out of nowhere…but…" He stopped walking once again. I stopped right in front of him and watched him with interest. "I don't know…would you maybe like to be my girlfriend?" He asked with a hint of shyness.

It was not at all what I was expecting. My eyes widened as I stared at him. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. We hadn't even had a conversation since the last Quidditch match and we had barely even talked. Not only that, I was here for Sirius to save him. What was I suppose to do? I couldn't just turn him down. I'd feel to…to mean. I had to think of something to say, I couldn't just not say anything. That would be worse than saying no.

"Wait wait wait, did I hear right?" I was busy blinking but whose ever voice this was snapped me right out. Both Bearings and I looked up at the staircase we had just been on, to see all the Marauders walking down the staircase right at us. James was the one who spoke, he was wearing a huge smirk on his face. Sirius who was next to him looked just as amused.

"James, don't be rude" Sirius rolled his eyes, though one look from him and you could tell he didn't mean it.

"Oh come on Sirius, we just witness Kobato getting asked out. This is exciting." James smirked "Oh oh! And by a Quidditch player none the less."

I had to stop looking at James by this point. I looked over at Bearings instead who was as red as I felt. We both were blushing out of embarrassment and I'm pretty sure we could both agree on something, this wasn't what we wanted.

"This is true…so what are you going to say Kobato?" Sirius asked with more curiosity than I have ever heard come from his lips.

I wanted to snap at him. I want to say something mean. I wanted to…I don't know. This wasn't going well.

"She has to say yes" James nodded agreeing with his own words.

"I think I agree, she needs someone." Sirius nodded agreeing with James words.

Now I really wanted to scream. I want to shout that I like Sirius. No I wanted to run. This was more than I could handle right now. What an evening this was turning out to be. I turned back towards Bearings who was now grinding his teeth out of irritation.

"I think she should decide for herself." Bearings finally said after a couple tense moments.

All eyes now turned to me. I felt extra awkward as I bit on my lip. I didn't really know what to say. This wasn't an easy choice. "I…" I started "Look…I…" Where were my words? Come on…be a Gryffindor. "I'm sorry…I can't Kyle." I smiled saying his first name. I gave him one last look before I ran off to my dorm, what an evening.

I didn't give it a second thought. I just let my feet carry me up to the dorm. I ignored everything else and before I knew it I was deep asleep and morning was coming through. I still ignored it all together. I don't know why. Was this really that embarrassing? Or was it that Sirius actually didn't care if I dated someone else? I thought I was getting somewhere with him. I guess not…

Another couple of hours passed. It was around 7 in the morning now. I didn't want to go to class. What was this feeling? Was this rejection?

"Kobato? You are going to be late for breakfast. You getting up?" I heard Lily's voice call from somewhere. I slowly opened my eyes. She was standing over me looking concerned.

I didn't know what to say. I just couldn't understand why Sirius would want me to date someone. I guess…just because I love him, doesn't mean he loves me. Not yet at least. I haven't worked hard enough obviously.

"Kobato?" Lily asked once more, now kneeling over my bed.

"I'm not hungry." I finally said in a raspy voice.

"Do you need to go to the hospital wing?" She questioned as she put a hand on my forehead to check if I was doing okay.

"No…I'm alright." I smiled weakly and then rolled over ending the conversation.

I laid there all day. I just sat there thinking. I needed to do something. I couldn't rely on next year alone. I wasn't making any progress that I could see. I was here to save Sirius and I wasn't going to let anyone down. I was going to do this. He was someone that deserved it. I may not deserve him, but he deserved to be saved.

Around lunch time Raven came into checking on me. I pretended to be a sleep and soon she left me alone. I immediately went back to my thoughts once she had left. I had to figure this out.

By dinner time I was set and ready. I got up and dressed in my school uniform making myself look as good as I could. I finally decided I would start to take action after the Quidditch match on Saturday. That left me two days. Two days to prepare. If we won the game, I would for sure make a move. I would let Sirius know. But if we didn't win, well I would take a little bit longer. I had too. And I would start with that kiss I supposedly owe him, so I can stop those stupid morning speeches…which I missed this mornings. I will have to make one tonight…ugh.

That didn't damper my spirits. I confidence I walked down to the great hall wearing a smile ear to ear.

It took me a moment but I found Lily and Raven at the far end of the table by the Professors.

"Hey" I smiled.

"Well, look who's up." Raven teased as I sat right next to her.

"Fine I won't sit by you." I pouted as I started serving myself some food.

"You look a lot better." Lily smiled as she eyed me. "But is there something you want to tell me?" She asked still looking at me with a strange look.

"No nothing I can thin-" I started to respond but I was cut off.

"Kobato? What happened?" We all turned around to see Sirius taking a seat next to me. James also thought it was necessary to take a seat next to Lily, leaving Peter and Remus to fit in nearby.

"What do you mean?" I questioned now totally immersing myself in my food. For some odd reason I was feeling embarrassed. I wasn't exactly planning on seeing them for dinner.

"You never showed up for classes." James said looking at me in concern all while ignoring Lily's clicks of her tongue.

I didn't say anything at first. I was too busy eating my mashed potatoes. "Mmmm" I finally started "I wasn't feeling good."

"You look fine to me." Sirius narrowed his eyes at me causing me to blush.

"She wasn't feeling good, let it be and leave _us _be." Lily glared more so at James than anyone else.

"In a bit" Sirius smirked. "Someone has an announcement to make." He patted me on the back before getting up and stood on the bench "Everyone! Good evening! Glad you all could make it to this wonderful dinner." He smiled warmly basking in the attention. "As you can see, Kobato finally decided to join the world of the living and crawl out of dream world." He pointed down to me, I took it as my cue to stand up and take a bow. "So without farther adieu here is Kobato's wonderful words" He gave one last smile and a couple of winks to some girls before sitting down and leaving the rest to me.

I was standing there feeling awkward. I had not planned on saying anything…I didn't know what to say. What was there left to say? I've told all of Hogwarts what I like for the past what two months?

That's when it hit me. I haven't once touched upon boys. Once. It's always I like my tea with three lumps. Or I like full moons. Or I like the color blue. Why not take this time to describe Sirius. Then maybe he would get the hint. Maybe…

"Good evening everyone! And thanks Sirius for those cruel words of welcome." I teased him before turning back and looking at the great hall. "I think tonight I'm going to take a different approach, if that's alright with you guys." I paused and waited for a couple cheers to slide by from some rowdy boys before I talked once more. "I will take that as a yes." I smirked. "So, for today, I would like you all to know and mark that I like a man who knows how to smile at even the hardest of times." I tried not to look at Sirius when I said it, but it was one of my favorite things about Sirius, no matter what he was always ready with a smile. "That is all, enjoy your dinners" I smiled warmly before sitting back down. There were a couple claps here and there…that was usual, I was just glad that was over with. I do not enjoy those speeches.

"That was a different approach. What brought it up?" Sirius questioned while raising an eyebrow.

I rolled my eyes "I'm running out of things to say." I said simply.

"Well then we could end this." Sirius leaned forward and pointed to his lips "Just one small kiss."

I thought for a moment. I was highly considering it. Not just because of the speech part. "Still a no" I said finally before turning back to my food.

"Are you afraid to kiss me?" Sirius questioned, still not putting this to rest.

"Oh this is ridiculous. Sirius, knock it off" Raven glared over at him. She wasn't in the mood for this apparently.

"No, I will not knock it off. I want to know." Sirius glared back at Raven as if she was being the rudest person alive.

"I think you are in love with her." Raven snapped right back at Sirius. Both Lily and I gaped opening at Raven. James, Remus, and Peter just blinked stupidly at Raven, this wasn't what we were expecting. Why was she getting so upset?

"What" Sirius finally said while staring idiotically at Raven.

"You heard me." Raven crossed her arms and stood her ground.

"Why would you say that?" Sirius questioned with furrowed brows.

His question caused Lily to snort "I have no clue. God you boys are so clueless." Lily rolled her eyes. "Don't you agree Kobato?" Lily said in a tone that didn't let me question otherwise.

"Yes" I said in a shy tone. I wanted to shrink away.

"Honestly, I don't insist on kissing Kobato every ten seconds just because she didn't kiss me under a mistletoe and we are best friends." Lily went on farther letting the anger and annoyance shine through.

"What…you are…no" Sirius opened and closed his mouth several times. He didn't know what to say at all.

No one else really did either, it was Lily and Raven letting their wrath out on him. Remus for once was sitting there quietly letting everything unfold. Peter was looking away not enjoying the anger that was taking place. And James had a smile on his face, as if he knew something but wasn't about to say anything to help his friend. That's what I found weird, James' behavior. Well even Remus was being odd, not interfering.

"Just because you are afraid to admit that you love James doesn't mean you can take this out on me!" Sirius finally shouted. If there was attention focused on us, there was now.

"Oh oh oh" Lily got up and pointed her wand angrily at Sirius "This has nothing to do with that!" She shouted right back.

"It does" Sirius said in the cockiest voice I have ever witnessed coming from his lips. Meanwhile he pulled out his wand, not taking his eyes off of Lily.

"It does not!" Raven said in defense for Lily. She was now up and pointing her wand at Sirius as well.

"If I'm denying my feelings you sure as hell are as well." Sirius retorted, I had never seen him this angry before. Something was definitely up.

"Oh whatever" Lily snorted with one of the best eye rolls I have seen yet.

"Lily has no feelings for James" Raven said, though her voice didn't sound fully in it. Both Raven and I have been suspecting something going on with our friend. She hasn't been as vicious and cold when it comes to James lately…She's been pretty civil.

Everyone was watching the scene unfold as if it was an intense tennis match, all eyes now shift to Sirius who had dropped his wand down and was letting out a deep laugh. "And you proved my point, I don't like Kobato at all."

His words hit me hard. At all…at all was what he said. I wasn't the only one. I was blinking hard before I got up from the bench. "At all, huh?" I questioned before pushing hard past Sirius and storming off.

I could already feel the tears swelling within me as I ran. I knew people were following after me, I could tell by the footsteps, but I ignored it. I kept letting my feet lead me to an empty classroom. From there I choice a seat closest to the window and sat down letting my thoughts drift.

* * *

Saturday morning couldn't come soon enough. I spent the all of Thursday ignoring Sirius and all of Friday doing in even better job ignoring him. I didn't care about my mission. His words cut through me and hurt me more than he would know. I in fact wanted him to know. It wasn't fair. He went around stomping on girls hearts like he was the best male a live, meanwhile the rest of us sit there in wounded spirits. He needed to learn different emotions other than lust…and whatever else that heart of his was capable of holding.

Although, I'll give him a little bit of credit, Sirius did try to get me to talk to him Thursday evening, but gave up after we got into our first full out duel in ages. After that point he decided to play along with me and ignore me. Though from what I understand from James, he was the moodiest he had been in ages. James also had told me that what Lily and Raven had said got him really upset. He couldn't stop talking about it, it's like Lily and Raven had hit more than just a nerve. They did some sort of damage. But that didn't stop me from hating this whole problem.

Not only was it draining mentally, come Friday evening I was started to feel ill and I had hoped that Saturday morning I would be feeling just fine, but that didn't happen. Something was making me shake. I wasn't nervous for the game was I? No…what was this? I did not like it at all.

"Kobato? Is that you moving around?" I peered up from over my trunk where I was grabbing things to get ready for the Quidditch match. Raven was over by her bed doing the same.

"Oh yeah…couldn't sleep anymore." I said airily while I went back to searching for my clothing I needed.

"You still look ill" She commented now walking over to me to look me over.

"I'm not feeling right" I told her with a heavy sigh. "Something is off, I can't figure it out."

"Think we should get Bearings to play?" Raven frowned at me.

"I'll eat and then we can see. We could at least warn him." I sighed too.

"You could at least warn us before you guys decide to stomp around at 7:30 in the morning." Raven and I both turned to a cranky Kathleen. We couldn't help but laugh at her messed up hair and her exhausted looking face.

"I'm going to have to agree" Bri grumbled.

"You guys" Raven rolled her eyes before twirling and dancing in the middle of the room "It's a beautiful morning! Perfect Quidditch weather! Gryffindor is going to win!" She sang as she continued to dance by herself.

"That's right, Quidditch match is today, I almost forgot" Kathleen said while quickly jumping out of bed to get ready, now which much enthusiasm.

"How could you forget?" Raven asked looking appalled and stopping mid-step.

"Simple, homework" Kathleen laughed. I had to agree with her this whole homework thing was getting to me.

"Mmmm let's not forget all the drama." Bri said now getting out of bed.

"Drama?" Both Raven and I raised an eyebrow in question.

"What happened on Wednesday" Bri shook her head with a sigh. "It's been getting all of you moody."

"Oh that" I felt my lip twitch up in annoyance. "Yeah sorry about that" I apologized honestly feeling sorry.

"It's not your fault" Kathleen smiled warmly.

"Yeah it's not your fault two people are in denial and the whole school knows it…That and they just so happened to argue together about their love lives." Bri agreed while continuing to get ready. "Speaking of which, where is Lily?"

"I have no idea" I responded now noticing her bed was empty and she wasn't in here.

"I'm sure she'll be at breakfast!" Raven said happily now back to her skipping "Come on! Let's go let's go!"

We did as Raven said. Together the three of us all got ready in our best Gryffindor fashions and heading down to the great hall in merry spirits. Though mine were starting to fade the more we got down to the great hall. My stomach was just feeling so upset, kind of like I was going to hurl. I didn't like this at all. I was beginning to shake.

I just needed food. That's all. I kept telling myself as we entered the great hall.

"You sure you're all right?" Raven asked again now holding onto me to help me into the great hall.

I nodded half-heartedly as we walked into a room filled with either red or blue. It was a sight to see. The whole Gryffindor table was red and gold from head to toe. They weren't the only one, most of the Hufflepuff's seemed to be supporting Gryffindor as well. Some were supporting Ravenclaw, along with all of the Slyhterins. It was time and it was exciting.

I couldn't help but let my lips twitch into a grin.

"Let's eat so we can get this game started!" I said happily now holding onto Raven in excitement, trying to push aside this wave of sickness that was taking over me.

Together we watched letting our eyes scan for Lily. We finally found her sitting all alone in our usual spot moodily stabbing her food. We all let out a sigh and didn't even need to wonder what was wrong with her. We knew James was behind it.

Together we made our way over to her, but we didn't get very far till I noticed something was off. As we were walking for her there was a different color amiss in all this red and gold. My eyes couldn't be pulled away. I had to stop walking as my stomach lurched even farther.

"Kobato! You're up, we were getting worried." Faintly I heard James call to me. My eyes were still focused on the odd color among the red and gold.

I ignored James and let my eyes trace the figure to which the colors belong. They were supporting Ravenclaw colors. But what were they doing here? My eyes widened as I watched the girl throw her arms happily around Sirius before planting a passionate kiss upon his lips.

My stomach gave another fierce lurch, worse than before.

"Kobato?" I heard again faintly. I was barely aware that several people were shaking me in attempt to snap me out of it.

I was starting to shake as I stared at Sirius I couldn't tell if he was enjoying the attention from the girl or not. It seemed so much out of the blue. What was going on?

I had to tear my eyes away. It was hurting me. I looked away now noticing Raven, Kathleen, Bri, and James all in front of me eyes filled with concern.

"Come on let's get yo-" James started but cut himself off as I began to cough violently. Blood was pouring out of my mouth.

My chest felt like it was heaving in two. I was dizzy. My stomach felt even worse. My head was screaming in pain. I couldn't stand up anymore. I had to grab onto James as my body swayed back and forth. I had never felt this bad in my life.

I heard voices surrounding me, but I couldn't understand them. I felt people reaching out for me, but I couldn't really feel it. I saw concerned faces, but I didn't know who they were.

Slowly I felt my body fade down to the floor in a gentle manner as I closed my eyes and succumbed to the weakness that was engulfing my body.

* * *

**A/N: I did not have this planned at all actually…just one thing lead to another and that's what I wrote. I feel like it wasn't that strong but it has a point. I slightly changed some well thought out things just for this. I felt like certain characters need time to shine. Hope it was enjoyable at least, I didn't care for it too much...just certain moments. (And sorry it's a short one.)**


	26. Chapter 26: True Colors

**Chapter 26: It's impossible to keep hiding your true colors**

**A/N: I have finals next week and I manage to write a nearly 9,000 word chapter. Ahahahahaha, that's procrastination folks. In any case...Thank you for the reviews and enjoy :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

Everything seemed to blur together. I remember being in the hospital wing. Lying there for days and through those days sometimes I would hear talking of concern voices. Then I remember one day I heard arguing.

"I'm sorry we have too" Trigger's voice didn't have its usual patience's. Something was setting him on edge.

"She's doing just fine! Please" Whose voice was that, that was pleading with sorrow and anger?

"I'm sorry but her body is reacting a lot faster than it should. She's going to die if we don't move her." I wanted to open my eyes and reach out for Trigger, his voice was heavy with emotion but yet stern as if he was talking to a child in denial. But I couldn't reach out. My body wasn't working it felt so heavy and weak.

"Come on Padfoot, it's for the best." I heard another voice join in with a heavy sigh.

"Fine!" I heard the other voice that was pleading earlier nearly shout and then a heavy bang, as if a door was just slammed before my mind and body faded out back into the world of dreams.

I remember times in between where someone was reading me something, but I couldn't really understand. I never was able to remember anything until I officially woke up. And when I did wake up, I knew I wasn't in the hospital wing. It smelt a lot better, it was a lot more homey like. I felt like it was some where I belong and some where I loved to be.

Slowly I was able to open my eyes. I knew this room. I was back at Trigger's place in my room.

"You're awake!" I heard a squeal before I saw Fay's beautiful hair covering me as she threw me into a tight hug. "I'll go tell Trigger." She smiled happily as she pulled away and then as fast as I had ever seen her run, she left.

Seconds later she returned with not just Trigger but Scarlet, Icy, Elliot, Pandora, and a couple of others whose names I can't recall.

"Kobato!" Several cried out and all at once I was thrown into hugs after hugs. It was a bit over whelming.

"I'm alright" I said in the raspiest voice I have ever heard come from my lips.

"Hardly, you've been out for a month." Fay frowned as she rested her cold hand on top of my warm hand.

My eyes widened "A m-month" I muttered out in disbelief.

"Yes, we think your body is acting violently all of a sudden to the Vampire blood with in you." Trigger said with a somber smile.

"What then?" I questioned staring in the middle of my blanket, not wanting to meet anyone's eyes.

"You're going to die if you don't become a Vampire." Trigger answered. It wasn't really what I was expecting to hear, his words made my head shoot up at once. "It's rare for this to happen, but your bodies been under too much strain. It can't take this anymore."

"Am I going back to school this semester than?" I questioned, my mission seemed so far away now.

"No, you will be finishing your school work here." Trigger pointed to the bedside table which had several letters and school books.

"Then when do we start?" I asked in a quivering voice. I may have been ready for this, but I was planning on the summer, not in May. I still had time…well at least I thought I did.

"Tonight, for now get some sleep" Trigger smiled and planted a small kiss upon my forehead.

And with that everyone left me to sit in my own thoughts. Yes, I was exhausted but I didn't want to sleep. My mind was filled with fear and wonder. I just didn't want to sleep. So instead I grabbed the pile of letters. Some had been opened already, I think Fay had been reading them to me while I was asleep because I vaguely remember hearing her make funny voices.

There were several letters from Sirius, he actually wrote the most. Next was Lily and Raven. They seemed to have sent letters together. James and Remus sent a couple as well. And I even got one from Sev and Regulus. My favorite letter though, was the first one Sirius sent:

_Dear Kobato,_

_I visited you in the hospital wing right after the Quidditch match (we won by the way), but you were asleep. I was half wondering if you were just ignoring me. I know you saw what happened in the great hall and believe me that girl threw herself at me. By the time I realized anything was wrong you were already passed out on the floor. I felt so bad, I wanted to help you. I mean to think this happened right as we were fighting! I really didn't mean to upset you. I just…well. Never mind._

_I really hope you get well soon. I mi-…I just hope to see you soon. _

_L-Best wishes_

_-Sirius_

His letter was very weird. He had crossed out words I mean really crossed out, or had started words then cut them off. I was sitting there for a good while trying to decipher it but I couldn't. The best I could formulate was that at the end of the letter he wanted to say Love Sirius, instead of Best wishes…but that was just a guess.

I spent a long time reading his letters because they all were like that. Scribbled out and have started words.

I was glad though. I couldn't stay mad at Sirius anymore. I was glad to know he was sorry and had some reasoning for his behavior. Whatever that was I didn't know, but it was a reason. It wasn't just him being…well a prick. He did still care about me and wanted to be my friend.

James mentioned in one of his that Sirius had just been upset about Lily's words that he took it out on me unknowingly. He also said Sirius hasn't been himself ever since I was put into the hospital wing. Reckons Sirius won't be alright till I am back, unlucky for him I won't be back till next year.

It was a long day. I had to fill in the blanks of what was all happening and I eventually did fall asleep. But around dinner time Fay came in with a tray of warm soup and woke me up so I could eat.

"Sirius wrote you some nice letters." She commented while taking a seat next to me.

"Snooper" I teased as I gladly took some soup. It was nice to be eating and in the company of someone other than my own thoughts.

Fay glared at me quickly "I was reading them to you, last time I be nice to you." Fay laughed, letting me know she was just teasing me as well. "I wrote to Sirius and your friends myself, letting them know how you were doing. Seeing as you couldn't…I'm that nice." She said attempting to make me feel guilty.

"Thank you" I smiled noticing how awkward this was. Last time I was really awake I was at Hogwarts talking with Raven, Kathleen, and Bri. And now here I am at home talking with Fay. I let my mind wander as I continued to eat my soup. This was all happening so fast.

"You're scared aren't you?" Fay questioned looking off into nowhere in particular.

Her words hit my ears hard. I tried not to frown as my voice quivered "For all the wrong reasons" slowly a couple tears made their way down my face.

Fay leaned forward and stared at me with her beautiful eyes "What do you mean?" She asked with sorrow in her voice.

I looked up at her and swallowed my soup hard "I used to be afraid that I would just drink blood from all my friends, but now I'm afraid no one will like me because I am a Vampire."

Fay listened with a smile. Once I had finished speaking she grabbed the tray of food and set it on the table. She gave me one last comforting look before she threw me into a hug "They'd have to be crazy to not like you. You still have the same heart just you will look much more like your age." She smiled and pulled away from our hug.

"I know…just maybe I won't be as pretty or something crazy like that." I said knowing it sounded crazy.

"Darling you'll be a Vampire. How will you not be pretty?" Fay laughed while looking at me with a furrowed and confused brow.

I thought for a moment while tapping my finger on my lips "I might look like a man or something stupid like that." I laughed trying to imagine what could go wrong.

"You'll be perfect." Fay and I both looked up from laughing to see Trigger leaning up against the door wearing his charming smile "Fay it's time, why don't you go down stairs."

My eyes widened, already? Could this really be happening this fast?

I tried not to sigh as I watched Fay nodded and give me one last hug before leaving me alone with Trigger. Once she left he moved from his spot at the door and headed over to me and took a seat on my bed with an indescribable look laced upon his face.

This was starting to feel like an out of body experience. I wasn't sure I was ready. But I had to be and that much I knew. If I wanted to live and if I wanted to save the world, I had too.

"Kobato" Trigger smiled, but it felt so out of place. Should we really be smiling at this? "You'll be fine." He carried on in his sweet voice.

"I know" I said in a faint voice that didn't sound like mine at all. I wasn't very convincing. Trigger smiled anyways and pulled me into a comforting hug.

"You'll be out for at least a week." He sighed as he pulled away.

I scrunched up my face, "Why?" I questioned wondering how it could take longer than a day.

He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them to look at me with pitying eyes. "You're body will be growing and making up for the years that it couldn't. It will happen within seven days and unfortunately it will be extremely painful." He grabbed my hand and gave it a loving squeeze. It took me a moment to find my voice this wasn't what I wanted. I needed to respond to him, I needed to reassure Trigger I was ready.

"Okay" I said in a whisper as waves of nervousness started to take over.

"We will all be here for you." Trigger leaned forward and rested a gentle hand on my cheek. I couldn't say anything. I just stared into his eyes searching for some comfort, finally I gave up and closed my eyes and waited.

Everything seemed to be going so slow. Faintly I heard the seconds ticking on the clock, but they seemed to be going slower. This moment was taking longer as my heart seemed to pound faster and faster. The minutes slowed down even more as Trigger's soft lips finally touched upon my neck. I couldn't help but let out a soft gasp as his fangs dug into my neck in tender manner, softer than I was expecting it. All at once my body began to tingle as he pulled blood from my body. He was finally drinking my blood and I was finally becoming a Vampire. It was nothing like the time the mutant had drunken my blood. This was soft and gentle. I felt love and tenderness from every drop that was pulled from my body.

And this time my whole body seemed to be smiling in acceptance as Trigger pulled more blood from my body, instead of screaming in cruel torture.

Then just as soon as it started, it ended. Slowly I opened my eyes just as Trigger was pulling away from my neck. He wore a small smile as he wiped the blood off of his lips and teeth. He looked more handsome then I had ever seen him in my life in this moment. Within his eyes was a look of pride, I could tell that he was relieved as well. He had finally finished it. He had finally fully saved my life. He no longer had to worry about my safety. I was able to take care of myself. But the thought also seemed to break his heart as he realized I wouldn't need him as much.

I tried not to let a tear slip out of the corner of my eye as I watched Trigger's eyes swell with a mixture of emotion. I didn't get to take anything else in but Triggers face, because he was the last thing I saw before my body cried out in protest. Every inch of me felt like it was stretching and on fire. I felt my lips open and I knew I was screaming, but I couldn't hear it. I couldn't hear anything. I felt my body sweat and cry as it pulled itself farther and farther. I couldn't help scream, kick, and cry. Nothing I did was stopping this pain. It was almost unbearable. It was worse than the cruciatius cruse.

There was not a single part of me that did not hurt. Everything seemed to be on fire and pulling apart. I didn't feel like anything was mine anymore. I felt like I was somewhere else as my body split.

After that point everything was a haze for the next seven days. I knew I was screaming myself hoarse. I was thrashing around and bruising my body without a care. At one point I slightly remember me throwing my body against the wall only to be stopped my strong arms. I couldn't help it though. I kept trashing, I wanted everything to stop. This pain was too much to handle. I couldn't cry anymore. I could barely scream. My body was caving into the pain. Or maybe the pain was starting to stop? I had lost track of everything. I just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

Slowly though the pain started getting less and less. My bones didn't feel like they were on fire and my head didn't feel like it was splitting in two. Everything was beginning to become clear. I could see again, I was somehow lying in the bed. My breath was still labored but I didn't hurt as bad. I just felt sore.

And I was very aware that I was alone in the room for once. I could hear faint voices far away. They were several rooms down at least. I could also smell them. I knew exactly who was in this household and to be honest it was a little scary.

My throat felt hoarse. Of course no one would be here…

I decided I might as well get up. I wasn't in too much pain anymore. So without a second thought I threw the blankets back and put my feet on the ground and stood up. Slowly I took my first step as a Vampire. I felt odd as I step forward, something was off. My legs are too long, this is weird, I tripped and fell flat on my face with a loud crash.

"Ow" I mumbled and rolled over on my back, noticing my hair wasn't short anymore. It was long. Slowly this time I attempted to get up so I could get a good look at myself. I had a hard time getting up though, I felt really lanky and tall.

I stopped attempting to get up after a couple moments and caved in and just sat on the floor. Shortly after I heard several pairs of footsteps that belong to…Trigger and Fay? Yes, I think so.

I didn't have to wait long to find out. Almost immediately after I heard the footsteps coming, the door crashed open.

"Is eve-" I turned my head to see Fay gasp and put her hand over her mouth. "Kobato! You…"

I couldn't find my voice as she rushed over to my side and threw me into a tight hug. I just didn't know what to say as she cried out of happiness into my shoulder. We were the same height. She wasn't hunched over giving me a hug. We were the same height. I felt my heart swell with pride as I pulled away from her hug.

"Look at you" Fay said smiled wiping the tears that had formed out of the corner of her eyes. She stared at me a bit longer before helping me stand.

"Sorry" I whispered out. I couldn't talk any louder. My throat was so dry.

"No need to say sorry, come on." Trigger smiled as he grabbed the other side of me and together with Fay walked me over to the mirror.

I was scared to look at first. Honestly what if I was ugly? Who knew what I would see reflected in that mirror. I caved in though and looked up in a quick glance.

Immediately my eyes widened and I didn't know who I was looking at. I let go of Trigger and Fay and walked closer to the full body length mirror. I couldn't stop looking. I still had my blue eyes and my white hair, but everything else looked so different. I was tall and I had beautiful long legs. My waist had curves. My face didn't look like a child but elegant and adult like. I looked my age, if not older. I didn't look like a child.

"See you look fine" Trigger said snapping me out of my gaze.

Turning around I smiled at him as best as I could. "Exhausted though" My voice was getting stronger. I my throat wasn't starting to burn as much. I was healing a lot faster than normal.

"To be expected." Trigger ruffled my hair with a smile "Why don't you get some rest?"

* * *

I slept for at least another day. When I did wake up I felt refreshed and I started noticing weird things about my body. I was starting to learn that if I didn't walk slow, I would be practically running. I was moving a lot faster in this body. Not only that, I had strange powers. I could produce ice out of nowhere, but it wasn't just ice it was almost all the elements. Earth, wind, water, fire…you know the usual. That was something I got from Trigger, his family was masters in the Elemental magic, something I didn't know. I knew Trigger used ice a lot, but I didn't know he could use all of them.

That wasn't all, I could also hear rooms and rooms away. That I did not like…I also didn't like how good my vision was. If I was outside I could see for miles. And I could see the weirdest things. It was taking a while to get used too, even with all this training.

Yes, I was going through training. May had already past and I was deep into my training. I barely had time for anything. After I had gotten a hang of my body, things were starting to get serious. I had been set out several time in tracings with Fay. Usually I would turn into my animgus form and spy as a dove.

We had just finished our 5th tracing that week and I was looking forward to a long night of sleep. The council had been working me hard so that I knew how to use my body right by the time school came around. They understood how important my mission was and they didn't want me to fail, but unfortunately I felt there was a flaw in this plan. Sirius had asked me to visit him several times. Apparently he got his own place, due to some inheritance from an uncle, and really wanted me to visit. But I had to keep telling him I was busy. We were up to writing at least once a week. So it had been hard I wanted to see him, but I had other responsibilities.

I understood these tracings were important, but I hated being around these Death Eaters and spying on them. It just was so heart breaking how much death and destruction I saw.

"Goodnight Kobato, see you tomorrow morning." Fay mumbled as we parted our way on the stair case. We just finished giving our report on what we had seen for the day and we were both ready to crash.

"Night" I mumbled as well as I head towards my room. With heavy feet and arms I dragged myself into my room and without giving a second thought I plopped right down on my bed in my attempt to start drifting off to sleep.

But I didn't get too. I felt this sharp pecking on my arm and I shot up forgetting my weariness instantly.

"What the…" I mumbled noticing the owl that had slid through my window. "A letter from Sirius" I grinned noticing the handwriting right away and pulled it off the owls leg. The owl didn't give it a second thought and flew off as I tore open the letter.

_Kobato,_

_You keep saying you've been really busy with balls, but what about your health? Are you getting enough rest? I sure hope so. I just really want to see you. Maybe I could come to one of the balls with you? Everyone knows I can act formally enough for them…And then we could dance again. I'd enjoy that a lot. Wouldn't you? _

_Did I tell you, the other day I made my first chicken? I burned it sadly. I'm not near as good as a cook as our house elf, Kreacher, or as Mrs. Potter sadly._

_Looks like I'm going over to the Potters on Sunday again. Maybe you could come too? I could ask Trigger, I know the Potters are in love with Trigger…sorry I just really want to see you, it's been ages you know? Who am I suppose to have these long chats with?_

_-Sirius_

I smiled letting my heart sigh. I enjoyed these letters. I usually took them with on my tracings. They gave me a sense of hope and happiness to know there is someone out there who wants to see me. Every letter is the same always filled with, _when can I see you? _They never seem to change.

Forgetting all my weariness I wrote him back.

_Sirius_

_Your letter came just as I was about to rest my eyes, though I will admit it brought a smile to my face. I had another long day at a formal party. This time it was at the Ebony's in celebration of Elliot's health. He has been healthy with no signs of relapse. I just had to give him my blessing as well, though I ended up staying much later than I wanted. _

_I don't think I could come to the Potters on Sunday, there is apparently a big meeting on Sunday that I cannot miss. They need my help for a recent tracing that has taken place. More and more illegal weapons are starting to show up and it is causing a lot of worry. _

_My birthday is coming up soon, maybe you can come to that party. Did you pass your apparition test? I sure do hope so, and then you can visit me as soon as you want! Just say the word and I will clear my schedule. It's just so non-stop here…I need a break. I would love to see you really!_

_-Kobato_

I smiled and finished up the letter with ease, even though I had to lie and say I was at balls when I really wasn't... I wanted to send it right away, but I'll send it in the morning like I usually did. I set his letter right next to the stack of other ones I had formulated. I put them all right on my desk and next to them was the sapphire he had given me. It just…they reminded me of how sweet he could be.

One last smile and I snuggled up with my teddy bears from the mysterious givers and headed off for another peaceful sleep.

When I woke up in the morning, I woke up to the soft tap on my window. Slowly I walked over to the window to see Sirius owl had returned to my window. But it wasn't empty, it had another letter tied to its foot.

Feeling puzzled I grabbed the letter and let my weary eyes read as his owl stood perched on my shoulder.

_Kobato, _

_Don't know if you have another party today, but if you do good luck. And smile for me._

_-Sirius_

I smiled at the sight of his writing. I had to write him back right away. I grabbed the letter I had finished last night and added some words onto the back.

_Sirius_

_No parties today, I was asked to go on some errr…errands. I'm healthy and I'm fine. No worries please?_

_Oh and you put a smile on my face first thing in the morning._

_-Kobato_

Feeling satisfied with myself I rolled the letter up and tied it onto his owls leg with some pink ribbon and let it soar off into the bright morning sky.

With a skip in my step and Sirius lingering in my thoughts I headed downstairs for breakfast, realizing today was my day off.

"Morning!" I happily announced as I head to my usual spot on the table. But my smile didn't last long. It took only a moment to realize how tense and upset everyone was. Something had happened. "What…" I asked finally looking between faces at the table.

"You got a letter this morning." Trigger finally said not breaking his eyes away from his meal.

"Well I realize that, I got one from Sirius…" I said still feeling confused.

"You did? No not that letter." Fay said looking confused now about my comment. It was now clicking, we were talking about two different things. Who else could have written me?

Trigger sighed and threw a letter at me. I still raised a heavy eyebrow and looked between everyone curiously. Finally I let my eyes drop down to the letter. It was a very formal green envelope. The writing on it was in a perfect silver and held my name right in the middle. Obviously this was from a pureblood wizard.

I felt my heart skip a beat as I opened it.

_Miss Nightray,_

_I would like to formally invite you to our ball tonight. It would be my pleasure if you would come._

_Sincerely,_

_Lucius Malfoy_

Inside was an official invite telling me where to go. I tried not to eye with distaste, but I knew what he was up to and what this party was for. I was off because Trigger and Icy were going to spy on this party. It was a little recruitment party and Voldemort himself was supposed to be there. Of course they would want me and my ties to the different magically worlds.

I swallowed hard and looked up from the paper with a disgusted look upon my face "You want me to go don't you?"

There was a silent nod. "You have too! We will get more information than if we were spying" Icy said firmly.

I looked away from him and turned over to Scarlet "Scarlet?" I questions knowing she was in charge of me and any missions regarding me.

"I already have a dress picked out. Sorry" She said with apathy in her eyes. "I know you were looking forward to your day off."

I let out a growl "No, it's fine." Even though deep inside I was truly upset. I was planning on sneaking a visit to Sirius'.

"You can have the next several days off if all goes well." Trigger promised.

"Its fine" I repeated and excused myself from the table, knowing full well Scarlet was following me. I didn't ignore her like I usually would, instead I tried to talk this out. "What color dress?" I questioned as she followed me up to my room, where the dress was already waiting no doubt, even if I had only been downstairs for a short while.

"I went with deep green dress robes" She answered happily keeping up with my fast pace.

"Perfect, can we get some silver flowers for my hair?" I tried to keep this like any undercover mission we had done, though I had not been on any. Usually I'm just in my dove form. This was going to be hard.

"Of course, perfect thinking." Scarlet responded as we made it into my bedroom.

"Ah yes, those dress robes are perfect" I sighed noticing them laid out perfectly on my bed. "What about weapons?" I questioned "Obviously I'll be taking my wand." I commented.

"You think you will need any guns?" Scarlet looked at me puzzled as I looked over the dress robes.

"Is my Nocturne of Love done being cleaned? I'll take that one." I asked now moving away from the dress to my wall of weapons. "And yes, I'd rather have one then not have one." I said finally answering her question.

Scarlet followed and looked at them as well "It is not" She sighed "I'd rather you take your Serenade of time." She pointed to the light blue and silver gun on the far left.

I stared at her raising a puzzled eyebrow "Serenade of time? You realize that only slows them down right?" I questioned.

She nodded "Of course, I don't want you to end up killing anyone. You will be safe." She attempted to reassure me. "Besides Trigger and Icy will be outside waiting."

I tried not to sigh, I knew I couldn't argue with her. "Okay" was what I managed to get out through my anger.

"Look, Kobato" Scarlet turned to me and rested a hand on my shoulder. "I know you don't like this, but you are supposedly 'friends' with these people, I know you will do your best." Scarlet looked at me with a stern look. It wasn't her authoritive look, rather her motherly look. It was one I was starting to grow accustomed too. She was starting to warm up to me and realize what helped me get through all this.

"I know. I will do just fine" I gave her a bow.

"Good" She smiled returned the bow "Now let's get you ready for the day, it's going to be a long day."

Scarlet was right. It was going to be a long day. And it was. It took us until 5 to get me properly ready and dressed for the party today. We had several issues with my hair and we couldn't decide what to do with it. The dress robes needed to be fitted and we couldn't find any shoes. I was beginning to feel like this was more of a hassle then it was worth, but I knew it was for a good reason.

At 5 I was allowed to rest a little bit before I headed out at 6:30. I took the time to write a quick note to Sirius.

_Sirius_

_It was suppose to be my day off to have fun, but something came up. I'm now going to a pureblood ball...for wizards. I'm a little nervous, it's been a while. And well...you know the last one I went too I got you kicked out of your family. At least I can't do that this time. _

_Hope you made a better dinner tonight._

_-Kobato_

Truth be told, this took me a while to write. I was nervous. I was scared but most of all, I wanted Sirius here. He knew how to calm me and make me feel better without even trying. And right now I needed that.

I was becoming so twitchy too. I had just realized that this will be the first time anyone from the Wizarding community would have the chance to see me...not child looking. This was going to be interesting.

"Kobato? It's time to go" I jumped at the sound of Fay's voice.

"Okay" I responded wearily.

Together her and I walked down to the entrance hall where I said my goodbyes and went over the plan over and over again. I needed to know my back ups in case anything happened.

And then with one last hug, I was out apperating into the night. I arrived right outside the front doors of Malfoy Manor. With one great big sigh, I knocked on the door preparing for doom. I waited patiently while trying not to shake for someone to answer the door.

I didn't wait long until a squat little house elf was guiding me into the ballroom with ease.

"Please enjoy misses" The house elf bowed so low his nose was touching the ground as I walked into the elegant ball room.

My eyes were taken aback. It was stunningly filled with silver and green. There were little tables with dark green table cloths with silver accents in the corners of the room, in the middle was the elegant dance floor, so this was just a dancing party perhaps? Already there was a large amount of people littered here and there talking over either firewhiskey or some form of wine.

I didn't get to take too much in before my thoughts were interrupted "Ah and who might you be my fair lady?" I slowly as proper as I could turned my head to see none other than Lucius Malfoy himself grinning at me with a hand extended for me to take.

Smiling as best as I could as I took his hand in my hand "Why Lucius, I know it's been a year, but surely you haven't forgotten me?" I questioned in a proper playful manner.

He stared at me and took in my appearance still not able to comprehend who I was "I am sorry, one would think I would remember such a beautiful lady, but I am at a loss."

I lightly shrugged "It's alright, I have gotten a little taller I am told." I let out a soft laugh well 'shyly' covering my hand with my mouth. "It's me Kobato Nightray." I pulled my hand away and smiled with confidence.

His eyes widened as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing, but being the pureblooded wizard he is, he grabbed my hand and kissed it none the less "Why I should have known. Pleasure you could make it." He smiled warmly. "Come there are some people who would be pleased to see you." He didn't give me an option to not follow him, so I followed as willingly as I could.

"Of course." I smiled still playing my role perfectly.

He lead me to the other side of the room where I noticed Regulus, Nott, Avery, Mulciber...and was that Sev? I sure hope not. My heart lurched a little as we approached the group. It was Sev.

"My, who is this fine lady you have with you Malfoy?" Regulus question as we came closer into view. I just smiled and let Malfoy lead me forward.

"Black, surely you recognize Kobato here." Malfoy smirked, though I thought he really couldn't say that. He did not recognize me either.

There was a collective gasped at his words. No one seemed to believe that it really was me. Sev was the first one to step forward.

"You look beautiful." Sev said in a mere whisper but I heard him. I know I was the only one, my Vampire hearing helped a lot.

"Now if you will excuse me, I have more guest to welcome" Malfoy smiled importantly before leaving me with this group.

"It's been a while since I've seen you boys." I smiled to each one of them and took a light bow "I hope all is well?" I smiled warmly. But no one was speaking they were all opening and closing their jaws. It was Sev who recovered first.

"Yes, I've been doing well. Waiting for the next school year to start." He said trying to start idle chit-chat. This was going to be a long evening...

"I'm with you there, I'm excited to see Lily and Raven seeing as I had to leave school early." I noticed I was starting to get comfortable not good.

"You and your love for that mudblood." Avery sneered while narrowing his eyes.

I had to lie "She's very smart, my worst fear would for her to hex me in my sleep." Wasn't my best, but it would do.

"I am questioning again why you weren't in Slyhterin." Avery laughed.

I joined in "I'm just of nobler blood I suppose." Not letting the smile falter off my face. "In anycase, don't handsome young lads like yourself have girlfriends?" I questioned noticing I was the only girl standing in this group.

"Lu would have came, but she is grounded till farther notice." Nott said in a sad voice, he actually cared for the girl.

I looked at him confused "What happened?" I questioned.

"She wouldn't have seen, that's right!" Avery said in a serious tone. "You passed out just as it was happening." He commented.

"Right" Nott said now looking away upset "I'm going to go get drinks."

"Lu threw herself at Sirius Black right before the Quidditch match against Gryffindor." My eyes widened as I listened to Mulciber's bitter words.

"What?" I spluttered out. "There is no way that was her." I said looking between the boys in disbelief.

"Believe us it was her." Avery sighed and shook his head "Her and her twin tried covering up and saying it was Autumn, but no one believes them." I only half heard what Avery was saying. There was a much more important conversation going on near the other side of the room that I was hearing.

_"No, I know that smell. A Nightray is here!" The female voice was sounding like she was panicking. Her blood...Cogsworth. _

_"What would someone of Royalty be doing here of all places?" A male voice retorted not afraid at all. He was not a Cogsworth, that much I could tell. No he was a Von Slatten._

_"Beats me but we shouldn't stay to long." The female voice responded still feeling shifty. "I know we said we'd commit to this, but I don't know…how do we know he wants to free us and let us have free roam?"_

"I'm sorry I spaced out a bit." I forced embarrassment I stared back at the group of guys I was with. "I would believe you though, in saying it was Lu."

"I'm surprised you aren't upset, we all know you have a thing for Black." Sev said finally piping up in the conversation.

"I already knew it happened, I saw it shortly before I passed out." I commented "But I didn't know who the girl was, nor did I care too much at the time." I laughed, knowing full well I dodged answering whether or not I liked Sirius or not.

"Drinks" Nott had finally come back and passed between us what looks like firewhiskey, I took it gladly, but I was really in the mood for some blood wine.

We all took a sip and let a small silence fall over us. I took the time to scoop out some more conversations. I didn't get very far, apparently the party was officially starting.

Lucius was standing in the middle of the room with an important smirk upon his face "Welcome everyone" All eyes were now on him. And the talking had all ceased. "Tonight we have several guests of honor, one of which many of you are anticipating." There were several cheers at his words. "He shall be here soon, but for now please enjoy yourself." He smiled and nodded to everyone, letting us get back to our idle chit-chat.

"Who would be the guests he was speaking of?" I questioned though I already knew the answer.

"The Dark Lord of course" All the boys answered in unison.

"Which is why I'm surprised you are here." Sev said turning right to me.

I let a smirk play upon my lips "Be surprised all you want." And with that I turned to leave, for off in the distance I heard more Vampires talking amongst themselves and I was curious.

The group I was hearing was not an old bunch. They all at least had to be in their 40's which is young by Vampire standards. And they were obviously from a lesser known family. But given their aura they were giving off I'd say they were Amundsons.

"Good evening" I greeted as warmly as I could. At the sight of me all four of the Vampires took a bow.

"Good evening Madam Nightray." They all said with a hint of guilt in their breath.

In this group there were three boys and one girl. All of whom looked very similar with brown hair and stunning brown eyes.

"No need to be so formal, the name is Kobato" I smiled warmly and extended the back of my wrist.

The middle boy grabbed it first and kissed it, ever so lightly letting his fangs drag across "Amundson, Dusk." He smiled warmly.

"The pleasure is surely all mine." I smiled.

The next by step forward and proceeded to do the same "Amundson, Liam."

And then the girl stepped forward "Amundson, Porcelain."

"That is a lovely name" I commented remembering hearing it somewhere before...

"Lastly we have me, Constant" He smiled cockily, I had heard his name as well...where though.

"We are very surprised that a noble such as yourself would come to a party such as this." Porcelain commented.

That's right, last week we did a tracing and found Porcelain and Constant guilty of 6 charges of breaking law 12. Turning muggles into mutants for fun. They weren't alone. They were with Marie Cogsworth. Sadly we couldn't turn anyone in. Otherwise we risked exposure.

"I am very close with Lucius Malfoy you see." I let a confident smile drift across my lips but yet confidence flash through my eyes.

Constant smiled as well "You still do not see the type." He commented looking me over.

I smirked showing my fangs "Neither do you, but don't think for a second the council doesn't know what you are up to. We have every one of your names." I flashed my eyes, sending a shiver down their spine before turning to leave them and find the rest of the Vampires.

Scarlet told me to do as I saw fit. I knew Liam and Dusk did not approve of this behavior. If I could pursued anyone to come back to the right side and away from Voldemort I would do it. Right now I knew I sure left the Amundson's deep in thought as I searched for the others.

I walked a little farther before there was a gentle hand grabbing my arm. I turned to see Regulus standing there with a somber smile playing on his lips.

"I'm sorry to bother you, but I was told to have you met someone." Regulus said as my eyes met his.

I did question but let him lead me. I was taking in every inch of him. He seemed to have an air of guilt, regret, and…sorrow? I could tell the regret easily. What did he have to regret?

"You know you don't have to be here." Regulus said as he was pulling me out of the ballroom. Where could we be going?

"I do though, I'm here for reasons that you don't need to know." I responded as politely as I could.

He stopped walking and pulled me aside in a small space in the hallway. "Kobato, you are better than all of this. You are free to do what you want!" He said in a harsh whisper.

I smiled, he didn't know what I was doing. And considering how "evil" or like his family he was, I was very surprised this was coming from him. "Thank you for the concern really, but you should be saying this to yourself, not me." I commented.

"No! I can't go back now, he'd kill me. You can still leave!" He pleaded.

I reached out and rested my hands on his heart. "Really, thank you. It means a lot, but I'm not what I appear." I smiled "It's too risky to tell you here, just…I'm glad your Sirius' brother. You deserve more credit." I turned and left him and went back out to the main hallway. He soon followed.

"You sure?" He questioned once more as he continued on leading me as if nothing happened.

"Positive, I'm not doing any of this for me. I'm not even an England for me." I responded with a confident nod.

He stopped in front of a grand door. "Then who are you here for?" He questioned with his hand resting on the handle.

"To save someone who needs saving." I smiled staring at the door handle waiting for him to open it.

He looked at me confused for a bit and then opened the door. Though I almost regret him opening the door because the minute he did I felt a shiver go up my spine as I felt an evil and dark aura surround me. I tried not to shutter as I confidently stepped forward into the room. Regulus had shut the door behind me, leaving me alone with whoever was giving off the dark aura.

I walked forward through the dimly lit room and noticed I was in a library of some sorts. Straight ahead of me was a desk and someone was leaning up against it. That's where all this dark air is coming from. And how did I not notice that before? The smell of blood, murder, and crimes, all coming from that one person…

"My my, Malfoy told me you were beautiful but I doubted that you would be this beautiful." The person finally spoke as he stepped forward towards me. In the little light we had I could tell he was handsome as well. He had beautiful black hair. A stunning figure as well. Any girl would probably swoon to the site of him, even if he was a bit older. But the one thing that turned me off was how deranged and evil he looked. It was him. Voldemort. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Nightray." He bowed and held out a sickly pale hand.

I grabbed it cautiously "It's a pleasure to meet you as well" I said as politely as I could, though deep inside I was trembling with fear.

"I am sure you are wondering why I called you here in private." He started pacing around me. I watched and kept all my senses on his every move.

"A little bit, though I'm not fully sure I care." I commented realize I was being a bit cheeky.

"You're last name…Nightray" He stopped pacing around and turned to me. "Surely it is not the last name of the head Vampires from America, now is it?"

I smirked lightly, finding it harder and harder to keep up my act. I was afraid. "It is, is that a problem?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Not at all" He inched closer to me and put his cold hand on my cheek "I think you will find we have a common ground."

I was trying my hardest not to flinch as he continued to trace the outline of my cheek bone. I was so afraid. I tried my hardest to keep my voice from not quivering "What common ground might that be?"

"You have nothing to fear" He smirked wildly sending a small shiver up my spine. He paused and continued to stroke my face as he peered into my eyes, searching and reading through my thoughts.

"You have power I do not have." He finally said while pulling his hand away.

I crossed my arms "Power?" What did this have anything to do with my Vampire blood?

"Yes, I know how the Vampires fear the four head families. And I plan to use that." He had a grin that could match Sirius' finest. But I wasn't falling for it. Not when my heart was screaming to run.

"That is if I agree." I narrowed my eyes ever so slightly.

"Ah yes, Malfoy said we might hit this little snag. Said you protect Mudbloods and other races" Voldemort frowned and continued on pacing. "But as you know I am only using the weak Vampires. You Vampires have built such a strong society that the weak ones come to me willingly. Especially at the thought of being able to drink blood from humans, apparently it's the sweetest." He stopped walking and now was eyeing me with curiosity. "They easily bend the rules for me and don't think I don't know about the tracings that go on. You want them dead…and once I take over I will want them dead too. They are just filling everyone with fear and causing death of muggles and mudbloods. I'm just using them." I let my eyes widen, he just continued to smirk madly. "Once I finally do take over the entire wizarding world, I will want them dead, I could care less about the filthy Vampires. I feel I can leave that up to you, if you help me get them under control." He folded his hands together and stared at me as he leaned up against the desk "Who knows maybe I will even keep you long afterwards for your hard work. Such a pity for a beautiful witch as yourself to go to waste."

I narrowed my eyes "You realize, I was once a pureblooded witch and now I'm considered a pureblooded Vampire as well?" I questioned. If he had such a problem with them, shouldn't he have a problem with me?

"Of course I know, I've been trying to search your mind as to why, but you won't give me that now will you?" He stopped leaning up against the desk and grabbed onto me, pulling my face close to his as he attempted to search my thoughts. I let him see just those memories freely. I knew which ones he wanted, anything to get him away from me.

"And what if I say no?" I questioned as he continued to stare into my eyes.

"I don't think you will. I am doing you a favor and you will be doing me a favor." He commented, still not letting go of me.

"Why me?" I tried keeping my eyes on him as best as I could, but his eyes were so fierce and freighting I had to break away.

"You have ties with Slyhterin and you can be trusted more than the rest of the filthy Vampires." He finally let go and step away from me. I didn't know what to say. When I came here this evening this was not what I was expecting…


	27. Chapter 27: In my game

**Chapter 27: Follow me, in my game.**

**A/N: I almost threw this whole chapter away because I accidently closed out without saving…le sigh. Only lost 3 pages booo. In any case, thanks for the reviews and all the warm fuzzy comments. I'll be writing more which these finals are done, but my finals are easy this year. But this story is almost done, so I'll have to start thinking of what I want to do next. I'm open for suggestions :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

I was still staring at Voldemort in disbelief. I didn't know what to say. I was completely on my own. But why would I say yes to him? This was a lot to take in.

"I would like to finish my schooling before I help you out at all." I finally decided that was the best way to slither my way out of this one. I was only here for one more year right?

"I would have to agree with you" He smiled nodding "But then do I have your word the minute you are done you are mine?" He leaned in close to me.

"No, because I am still underage in Vampire society" I swallowed feeling nervous. "My every move is decided by Scarlet Castrogiovanni." So it was partially true. "At least until I am ready to be a part of the council."

He let out an angry sigh. "Like I said Vampire society is very strong." He looked so deranged, I really did not feel safe being in the same room as him. "I will let you talk to your superiors. But I expect you to be at my meeting in 2 weeks from today." He commanded, giving me the cue to leave the room. I tried not to groan as I walked out, two weeks from today was my birthday. Fantastic.

I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I just wanted to be in the safety of my room but that didn't happen till at least six hours later. The council set up a meeting the minute I got back. I was questioned thoroughly. That took a good three hours. The next three hours were spending deciding what I needed to do. We all agreed on one thing, it would help a lot especially on information, but I was leaving by the end of my mission. And my mission was the number one priority. Finally though at five am we all agreed to regroup with Order of the Phoenix members at seven pm so that we all could get our rest and sleep on it.

I didn't even check to see if I had a letter from Sirius, I was too tired to care. Tired, upset, and annoyed to be honest. I came here to save him not…well you know to do all this.

I fell asleep quickly and woke up around lunch time to a faint tapping on my window. Groaning I rolled out of bed to get the letter that I had received. It was Sirius handwriting, I smiled right away as I read it:

_Kobato,_

_James said his parents were pulled to a special meeting at the Castrogiovanni's, what's going on? Are you alright? You said you had to go to a pureblooded ball last night…this doesn't have anything to with that does it? _

_Can I come over today then? Write back please._

_Love,_

_Sirius_

I blinked a couple of times at the letter. It was the first time he said love. But I don't know if that means he 'loves' me or not. Maybe it was just a friend kind of love. Like when I write James? Who knows?

I stared at the letter a bit more. He wanted to see me. I wasn't sure if I was ready for that. I felt I had enough excitement to last a life time…and now he wanted to see me. I don't know if I could handle that. I would be too nervous. Way too nervous. That and I needed to be there for the meeting. That much I knew for sure. I'd have to ask.

In the end I never did pick up the courage to say yes and I ended up just writing Sirius a small letter.

_Sirius,_

_I can't say much of what is going on in case this gets intercepted, but I promise you I am safe. I can't see you today or any time soon. I'll be too busy._

_Please don't think I am avoiding you, I miss you a lot…Just know that school will be starting soonish and then you can see me then. _

_Love, _

_Kobato_

I didn't know what else to say. I was avoiding him…I don't know why but I'd rather he see me in a school setting. I will be more relaxed and not as on edge, like I am now, once I get to school. If he saw me here I feel like he wouldn't like me anymore. I have to be a whole different person to keep up. I have responsibilities…it's hard to explain. But I just wasn't ready for him to see me. I doubt he would even recognize me.

The day seemed to drag on, finally at the meeting we decided I would get into Voldemort's inner circle as best as I could. I just needed to do it for a small time and then I would be out. But my number one priority was to get Sirius to fall in love with me as best as I could. Which was easier said than done seeing as I couldn't communicate with him in person, all I could do was write him letters. Though I will admit I did enjoy the letters a lot. I felt like he was opening up more and more.

I especially noted that on my birthday, he was really upset he couldn't see me, as was I. He sent me a letter on the morning of my birthday along with my birthday present of a beautiful necklace with a tiny ruby heart. I nearly started crying at it. The tiny little work that went inside of the ruby heart was clearly globin made, given the tiny little dove that was in there. Of course I did get gifts from other people, along with a mysterious teddy bear once again…but Sirius seemed to know me so well. I couldn't get over that as I read his letter:

_Kobato_

_I hope this present finds you well. Fay had paid me a visit a couple of days ago and told me what you were doing on your birthday, I wish you the best of luck. And I give to you a little bit of courage and hope to help you make it through it. I can't wait to see you, I know that will be once school starts (Fay said you were doing important work…Mrs. Potter said so as well that the best I can do is support you)._

_Anyways, I hope today goes well. I know you will be adorable as usual._

_Love _

_Sirius_

I read it several times and couldn't help but let my heart soar as I re-read each and every word. Needless to say, it kept my good mood all day, even through getting dolled up for the "death eater" meeting I was set to go to in my red dress, red heels, and killer up do. I felt ready to dominate the world. That was until I got there.

"Glad you could make it Nightray, please come here." I shivered as Voldemort called me too him the minute I walked into the large dining hall. He was at the head spot and I didn't see where he wanted me, his right and left were filled. In fact this whole table was filled and staring at the…oh god, hanging bodies of two muggles on the ceiling. I swallowed hard as I walked forward as confidently as I could. Trying to ignore the whimpers and cries that were coming from the frail lips of the two muggles hanging there, it wasn't easy, but I was able to push forward as best as I could all with a smile.

Heads turned left and right as I passed by. This table was long enough that everyone was able to get a good look at me. I was starting to feel sick just from the attention. I was glad in a way that I had finally made it to Voldmort, but at the same time this was the last place I wanted to be, especially on my 17th birthday.

"You can stand right here please" He motioned to his right. Was he honestly asking me to stand this whole time?

"Yes of course" I smiled warmly with a bow, noticing someone had tutted. I looked up to find out who it was. It was some black haired chick who looked completely…mad. To say the least, Voldemort followed my gaze and noticing me staring at her. He gave me a nod before talking.

"Thank you all for coming for this lovely spectacle." Voldemort leaned forward and folding his hands while resting his elbows on the table. Everyone was listening in rapt attention, I on the other hand was busy thinking this wasn't a 'lovely' spectacle at all. My eyes couldn't stop darting up to the muggles. I wanted to help them. I wanted to do something. Why was I even here?

"I am sure you are all wondering who I have with me, yes this lovely young lady right here is Kobato Nightray, heir to the Nightray throne of Vampires." He smiled and gestured to me. "She is here to confirm whether she will help with the Vampires efforts in bringing down muggles and those of dirty blood so to speak." There were a couple of snickers when he said muggles and dirty blood, but he ignored it. And rather turned to me. "What will your answer be? Will you help me control them to better my regime?" He questioned. All eyes were now on me. I had no choice but to tear my eyes away from the muggles and to peer into Voldemorts deep dark eyes.

"As best as I can, I will" I bowed "Of course that is only if you hold up your end of the bargain and let me kill them after you take over. We do not allow traitors in our race." I attempted to let a smirk play across my lips, but only one side of my lip twitched up. But it was good enough for him.

"Of course I will. I understand that need, we do not allow blood traitors in our race either" Voldemort eyed his followers. They all cheered and agreed. "Speaking of which many of you are probably wondering what we have here." He pointed his wand to the dangling figures and pulled them closer to the table. The whimpering was a lot softer now. Judging by the air, they had given up all hope on getting free. They believe nothing else could save them now.

He flicked his wand once more and sent what looked like a cruciatus curse at them. They started screaming in pain immediately. I could barely watch, but I couldn't block it out, their screams were blood curdling. It was bringing tears to my eyes. I couldn't take it. I caved in and used my earth magic to shut their mouths and muffle the screaming with a thick root.

It wasn't a smart move but it made me feel better, it did cause all eyes to shift to me. Voldemort even stopped torturing them.

"Sorry, but I have enhanced hearing it was making my ears want to bleed" I exclaimed hoping it was a good enough excuse. Though I doubted it, my watery eyes were about to give me away.

"Fancy bit of magic" Voldemort muttered before turning back to the still near dead muggles. "Crabbe had found these two muggles today, they lived near a well established wizarding community. Tainting our precious world" He shook his head in disgust. I really couldn't see what the problem was, but everyone else here did. They let out cheers. "Anyone care to do the honors?" He questioned looking around. No one really moved. I knew they all didn't mind killing muggles, but why wouldn't they jump up and down for this opportunity.

"My lord?" the girl that had tutted early asked eagerly, her voice was really annoying and how excited she was about this was certainly sickening. Who was she?

"Of course Bellatrix" Voldemort said.

The girl named Bellatrix stood up and pulled out my wand. I closed my eyes, trying to figure out who she…Black. Bellatrix Black, her blood was clearly within the Black bloodline. She was a 7th year when I was a 5th year. Oh god. I opened my eyes after I made my realization just to see green light shot from her wand and the figures to fall limp on the table.

I had to bit hard down on my lips to prevent myself from crying. This was more then I could handle. How could any of them stand the stench of death? It was enough to make me sick, even if the dead body didn't.

"Someone get rid of this filth, burn it for all I care. I just want it out of my sight." Voldemort commanded. "And if someone else could escort" He turned to me with a smile that made my knees weak. Weak in the sense of fear, not swooning "Miss Nightray" he then turned back to his followers.

Gladly I let them escort me to this so called drawing room. Whoever was escorting me didn't say a word as he pulled me to the drawing room where he threw me in there. Letting out a much needed sob I landed to the ground and cried. Why did I have to see those deaths? My body felt tired and I couldn't get the smell of death out of my system. Why….

I knew I was in there for a while just sitting on the floor in my dress. After a while I began to emit red sparks from my wand. This waiting was making me nervous. I didn't know when I would be free to go, or even why I was still here. My speculation was that he was giving a speech and talk about different plans that he did not want me to over here. Though I should be finding this out, seeing as I am the only spy here, I was still a bit shaken up, so I am sure everyone would understand.

Finally around eight the door opened. As quickly as I could I put my wand a way and stood up giving a bow.

"I am terribly sorry for the wait." Voldemort came in and approached me with a smile. I didn't turn or cower away as he put a hand around my waist "But you see, I couldn't have you snitching us out."

"I wouldn't dream of it." I responded in a shaky whisper.

"No need to lie to me" He said as he scratched his nails deep into my back, leaving a trail of blood. I flinched slightly.

"Yes" was the only thing I could think of to say.

"That's 'yes my lord'" He commanded leaving another trail of blood on my back.

I whimpered, causing a grin to form across his lips. "Yes my lord" I mirrored in a small voice.

"Good" He finally let go of me and turned around putting his back to me "I want you here tomorrow at the same time. You will be commanding a group of Vampires in a couple of raids we are doing to gain control of a certain government worker." He turned back around and looked at me with fierce eyes "Any who don't listen to you, I want you to kill them. They are filth anyways." He said in a nasty voice.

"Yes of course, my lord." I bowed.

"Good, you may leave."

* * *

And I did as I was told. I went on several 'raids' with Voldemort and a select group of people. I also was sent at least once a week with a usual group of Vampires to attack muggles that lived close to wizarding communities to send 'fear' and 'panic' for the world to see. That was his plan and I wasn't questioning it. I did as I was told and luckily I didn't have to kill anyone. I always had back up when things went wrong. The back up being Icy and Fay, through their mind powers we always talked constantly and helped me out on what I was doing. I never killed or bit any humans, I just watched over the group of Vampires, since Voldemort wasn't willing to do that. Kind of like how he wasn't willing to work with anyone but wizards, he just wanted to use other to cause fear and destroy lives and friendship so that everyone was alone. And I sure felt alone by the end of it all. Needless to say I was glad today was the day that I boarded the train and headed for Hogwarts, where I could get away from this all.

I packed in top speed, since it was all I had time for and headed out with a quick goodbye to everyone. The goodbyes took the longest, it was a very tearful event because for many it would probably be the last time I would see them.

I was in obviously in no danger so I was able to just go to the station myself. But I regretted going there myself once I got there.

Seeing all the familiar faces and none of them recognize me made me realize one thing. I no longer looked the same.

Sirius.

What was I going to do when I saw him? What if he doesn't recognize me? Oh god…I will just act normal. Everything will be okay. Yeah…I sighed and headed on the train to find an empty compartment. Luckily I got there early enough to be able to find one. Several were already take up, but I found a nice one in the middle of the train.

I was just about to lift my luggage up onto the rack when the compartment door slid open. I stopped what I was doing and stared. There he was, as handsome as ever. His hair was a little bit longer then it had been last year, but it was perfect. His eyes…they had soften up a bit and I could see more in his eyes then just loneliness, no the loneliness wasn't even there. And his face…it was even more sculpted before. His body too, it was molded as if by a god. He was more stunning than any Vampire I had ever seen. Was this really Sirius Black?

"Do you need some help?" He questioned with a smile that actually held meaning behind it. It wasn't his usual false one nor his one that he used to swoon girls, it was a genuine smile. He had changed obviously something has moved his heart.

I stared at him for a bit before it clicked in my brain that he had asked me a question "Oh no, I got this. Thank you though." I smiled warmly as I quickly threw it up on the racks with ease. Thank you Vampire blood.

"That's a strong arm you have there." He commented as he leaned up against the door frame.

"Tha-" I started but was cut off.

"Sirius where did you go?" James called out and soon his head was popping into the compartment. I couldn't help but to notice the gleaming badge on his chest. Head boy…was that for real? Did he steal that from Remus? "Is this where we are staying? Because I have to go to the perfects compartment." He looked around and noticed me.

"No I was just helping…" Sirius turned to me "I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." It didn't sound like Sirius at all, what was going on?

Not only that, he didn't recognize me. I felt my heart drop as I just blinked at the pair.

"No matter, I'll just find you later." James said after an awkward moment of silence. And with that he left just leaving Sirius and myself.

"Well I'll see you around" He smiled one last smile before moving from his spot and attempting to leave the compartment.

"Sirius! Wait!" I called out, walked over to him and grabbed his hand. He turned around and looked at our hands that were entwined and gave me a puzzled look. I felt my face flush in embarrassment. "Sorry…I didn't…never mind." I mumbled and then let go of his hand.

"Its fine" He said in a calm voice. "I'm sure I'll see you around beautiful." He threw a wink at me then left leaving me in disbelief.

I am a hundred percent sure I don't know what just happened. But one thing was for sure, I couldn't admit this behavior was me. Feeling pathetic I sat down and stared out the window waiting for the train to start while getting lost in my thoughts and wondering where my courage went.

"So you know how I said I was going to find a compartment? I was actually looking for someone that I couldn't find…so now all the compartments are filled up." I jumped at the sound of Sirius' voice. I wasn't expecting him to come back. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I was just deep in thought, its fine." I looked up shyly.

"Mind if Peter and I sit with you?" He motioned to the open seats across from me.

I nodded my head "Go ahead, no one else is coming. As far as I know" I said in a voice that I felt wasn't at all like mine. It was small and timid.

"Thank you." He said as he sat down directly across from me.

I threw him one last smile before I went back to looking out the window as the train started to move. He and Peter started talking anyways without paying much attention to me. Though I did notice Sirius kept throwing me glances. Judging by the air he was…lusting for me? Was that right…I think my Vampire senses are going, maybe? I mean…I know I don't look like me. And obviously he thinks it's not me, but…I don't know. I know he likes girls, pretty girls. But I could never picture myself being one of those.

I scrunched my nose up. There are too many voices. I can hear half of the train talking. I can sense to many thoughts. And smell…I can smell too much blood. I wasn't used to this. It was making me thirsty.

We had been sitting there for at least 30 minutes. I had sat there in my own thoughts, while Peter and Sirius talked away. I had changed to looking out the compartment door as more and more people were peering in with curiosity on what girl was sitting with Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew. They didn't really get any answers though because no one recognized me. It wasn't until a couple of Slyhterin's poked their heads in that things got interesting.

"Princess, what are you doing in here?" Nott questioned poking his head in while using the nickname I had picked up by the Death Eaters. It was a nickname they had picked up from Voldemort himself, though it was more to mock me if anything.

At the sight of them, Sirius immediately glared at him and readied his wand. I tried my best to ignore his behavior, I knew what I was in for. They actually had proven to be very nice and capable of being a human when they weren't hating mudbloods. They never actually were able to do anything in the raids, but they were getting close to, a lot of their fathers were big on the killings sadly.

I smirked "Oh come on Nott" I said in a playful voice.

"She's a Gryffindor what do you expect? Just because she's _his_ favorite doesn't mean anything." Avery joined in standing in the door way. It caused more tension for Sirius who was now standing up. I stood up as well, trying to get him to calm down, But I couldn't help noticing that I came to his chin now, what a different that made. I pushed pass him as if it was nothing and blocked his view of the Slyhterins out.

"I can handle myself." I smiled warmly towards Sirius, feeling like I finally could. "Favorite? Please Avery, more like tool or you know a trophy to look at." I laughed.

"And who wouldn't want to do that." Avery licked his lips and held out his fist for me to bump.

"Ahem, awkward" I admitted and tried changing the subject "Anyways say hi to Regulus and Sev for me" I smiled and hugged them each "Better go before we start a duel." I motioned to Sirius who had now sat down and wore a venomous expression. Peter on the other hand looked, interested? Was that what I was sensing? That doesn't seem right.

"No problem Princess" Nott waved as they both walked off.

"If you are in Gryffindor how do they know you?" Sirius snapped once they were gone. I took a seat and ignored him "And how do you know my brother?" He questioned. "And how do I not know you?" The questions just didn't end. His mind was buzzing as I searched through his eyes trying to figure out what was fully going on his brain. I couldn't help but wish I had Fay's powers instead of this sense of smell and being able to just know. If I could read is mind for sure...

"You do know me" Was how I responded while sitting back down. This was starting to feel like a game. I guess I didn't want to tell him who I was, I wanted him to figure out on his own.

"What year are you in? I know all the upper Gryffindor girls, there is no way I wouldn't know you." His voice was filling with annoyance as leaned forward in curiosity.

Peter laughed and Sirius threw a glare at him "What you would know everyone or at least their figure." He snorted. Sirius ignored him and looked at me waiting for my answer.

"I'm in the same year as you, 7th." I smirked hoping and praying it would click. How could he not know it was me yet?

Sirius made a face and then leaned back on his seat "You don't have to lie, you're still a beautiful girl even if you are younger than me."

I let out a long laugh and couldn't help noticing Sirius watching me with a puzzled look on his eyes. "I wouldn't lie to you, we-" I started but the compartment door was thrown open.

"Sirius have you seen Kobato? I can't find her any where!" Raven threw her arms up in the air feeling defeated.

Sirius pulled his puzzled and curious eyes away from me and moved them to Raven "No, I haven't been able to find her." Sirius shook his head and sighed.

Raven took a seat next to me "Odd, she said she'd for sure be here!"

"She's been really busy probably missed the train." Sirius remarked looking off in the distance.

"No she promised me, she wrote me a letter and ever-" Raven was cut off by the compartment door opening once again.

"I just heard the strangest rumor from these Slyhterin's please tell me it's not tr-" Lily cut herself off "It's not true...Sirius you're not snogging anyone." She stared at Sirius like he was crazy. I couldn't help noticing how much her hair was frizzed up, like she was pulling it out during the prefects meeting.

"Why would I be snogging anyone?" Sirius asked curiously "Though I wish I was." He muttered more to himself over anyone else.

"The rumor was that Kobato was snogging you." James looked hopefully around in the compartment, but didn't see 'Kobato' at all.

"No, Kobato isn't snogging Sirius" Raven sighed "No one can fin-" Raven was cut off by a shrill shrieked from Lily who was covering her mouth with a look of amazement as she stared at me.

"Lily? What is it? Are you okay?" James asked almost instantly. But Lily ignored him and gingerly she stepped forward her put her arms around me.

"Kobato" She cried out as she hugged me tightly. Count on Lily to figure it out right away. I smiled and held her tightly about ready to cry with her.

"What?" There was a collective gasp of amazement as everyone turned and stared at me and Lily.

An awkward silence began to form. No one was saying anything though, they were too busy in their own thoughts wondering what just happened.

"Did I miss something?" Remus' voice inquired as the compartment door slid open once more. No one moved or said anything to Remus. Rather everyone seemed to ignore him in general. Lily had let go from hugging me leaving an open view of me as everyone continued to gap.

"It's rude to stare" I pouted and stood up.

"Is everything alright?" Remus questioned again seeing as no one answered his first. The awkwardness of disbelief was practically choking me.

"Evans...are you sure?" Sirius looked at Lily then back at me. He did this several times.

"Black you must be stupid." Lily rolled her eyes.

"No I've been with this girl all afternoon, she's not...no. Kobato..." He looked really confused. Did he not like it? What was wrong?

I felt a nervousness start to form within me. I began to fidget with my necklace. "It's me..." I said in a mere whisper, feeling shy from all the stares. Not only that, this compartment was about ready to explode. There were one too many fully grown adults in here. It was getting stuffy. To many thoughts, too much smell of blood.

"That...Kobato?" Sirius looked at me and came over and threw his arms around me in a tight hug. "It is you." I felt my heart swell in happiness and love. He knew it was me and he accepted me. This year was going to go a lot better than I thought. I still have a shot was all I could think with his warm tender arms around me.

**A/N: I hoped you liked it. I didn't go too much into the Voldemort stuff, though I feel I touched upon it enough. I figured you all could use a bit more Sirius :) **


	28. Chapter 28: Hot issue

**Chapter 28: Everything little thing about me, hot issue.**

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, they made me smile. So here's another chapter just for you the reader. I thought it was a cute one :) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. **

* * *

"_I want you to dispose of the traitors." His icy cold anger spat down in my face._

_I didn't know what to say. Liam Amundson was never really with us from the start. He told me that in secret that he wasn't okay with this, his brother and sister were forcing him into it. He never wanted any of this. And I was trying to protect him, but Voldemort saw through what happened tonight. One of his Death Eaters got captured because of Liam's blunder in not backing him up and before we knew it ministry officials were on the scene._

"_No" I said flatly showing some cheek._

_Voldemort stood back and glared at me with venom. "You are defying me?" He questioned with his nostrils flaring._

_I didn't move. We were in the middle of a circle, the Death Eaters forming the circle. None of the Vampires, or goblins, or werewolves was aloud in these meetings, just me and Death Eaters._

_I held my ground rather and in a stone face responded "I am defying you." I said "It is not Liam's fault like you seem to believe it is." I sneered well noticing his hands went straight for his wand. I still do not move a muscle. _

_He pointed his wand directly at me now "You hear this everyone, this audacity. My dear Princess here thinks she can give me cheek." There were several mutters of disapproval, but I couldn't help wondering that no one wanted to be in the way of his wrath tonight. After this supposed blunder, he was murderous no matter if you were on his side or not. "Princess you know better." Again with the nickname, it was the first time I was hearing it but he kept repeating it. Why? "And for that I will have to punish you." He stated simply._

_I still didn't move. I wasn't afraid at all. I knew he couldn't kill me. I'm too valuable to him. _

"_Crucio" He cried out in anger with is wand pointed right at me._

_I didn't cave in. I took it as strongly as I could. My body was aching and it felt like it was ripping in two, but I had to stay strong. I didn't let any sound escape my lips. I kept my eyes on Voldemort as best as I could as I felt my knees finally give weigh to the pain. He continued to smirk and wait for my screams of pain and protest. I knew if I did protest he would stop and the flaming pain would cease, but I knew I had to make my point. I kept my strength and mustered this pain the best I could as he added more pain to me. I was starting to lose control as my body finally crashed with the ground. I was about ready to scream._

"_Just one small cry Princess" Voldemort smirked, his voice was sick with enjoyment. He walked closer to me still not letting go of the shackles that surrounded me in pain. He leaned in still pointing his wand at me. In a rough motion that only added to my pain, he pulled my face towards him. "Just admit you are wrong and all this will end." He said in a strange voice. I was beginning to lose though. I was feeling my eyes start to form water as the pain spread deeper and deeper to my bones. "One small cry is all I ask. Believe me I do not want to hurt you." He continued to grab my face in a tight agonizing manner. I was losing. A single tear escaped down my check and almost instantly the pain stopped but my body was still on fire._

_Voldemort stood up with a stratifying smirk. "Good, now go do as you see fit for the incompetent behavior of your men." He snapped leaving me whimpering on the floor._

I shook my head, someone was coming. They were about four minutes away and it seemed like they were heading this way. I had to look composed, I had to drop all these thoughts I said I'd leave behind.

I let out a sigh. It was the first day of classes. And they did not go well. And I mean at all…After dinner I ended up walking away from it all and somewhere along the line I ended up here in the Astronomy tower hoping to clear my thoughts of today, but that wasn't working. Instead I kept thinking of the events that happened this summer and wearing myself out.

Of course I was worn out to begin with. I had several guys come up to me today asking me out. Even guys I didn't even know. I had a couple grab my butt…overall just being in the hallways was upsetting me. Then in Potions today, me who is usually Slughorns favorite got called "Hornby" and told that my class wasn't until tomorrow because you know apparently I'm a 6th year Ravenclaw now! By my afternoon Transfiguration I was at my wits end. I couldn't concentrate and I was about ready to blow up in someone's face, and well of course right before class I got asked out which lost Gryffindor 20 points because I had hexed him out of frustration and my luck that day, McGonagall saw.

But it wasn't just that, it was me constantly picking up people's feelings, emotions, and scent of blood. I was fine during the summer because Vampires can keep their emotions and thoughts hidden, but with how many people there are in the castle and how many hormonal people there are, I felt like I was going insane and it was draining me. I didn't eat anything today and I was craving blood like nobody's business. I was not used to this nor was I going to get used to it any time soon. Too much blood, I needed to drink some blood water or something. It's all I was hungry for. And I was getting edgier by the second. Maybe I would just turn into a Dove and fly back to my dorm.

I went back to sitting on the balcony looking out at the scenery. This was going to be a long school year.

The footsteps were finally at a normal hearing distances. "What are you doing up here Sirius?" I questioned keeping my back to him, knowing full well from the smell of his blood that it was him.

"How'd you know it was me?" I questioned as he walked towards me.

"Lucky guess" I lied still keeping my back to him. "Going to answer my question?"

He let out a laugh as he leaned up casually against the railing I was sitting on. "I figured you could use some company, it was a long day for you." He reached out and touched my hand. "Or at least I think, I never saw you get hit on once today. But I overheard Lily saying you needed some time away from the male species."

"It was a long day." I heaved a weary and turned towards Sirius. "I'm not used to this much attention. And actually if I didn't want to be around the male species, what gives you the right to be here?" I teased

"I don't count" He smiled and gave my hand a squeeze before letting go "Seeing as I don't think I'm used to you getting this much either. We haven't gotten to talk since yesterday when I didn't even know it was you." He crossed his arms and looked at me as if he was taking in my appearance.

"I know and…I missed you" I admitted looking up into his eyes.

He stared right back "I missed you too" He smiled and patted me on the top of my head "Fay said you were busy doing Order of the Phoenix stuff and that's why I couldn't see you all summer." He frowned.

"I was" I sighed. I was hoping he wouldn't bring this up, but he did. Of course he did. He had been asking all summer what I was up too. Fay finally decided to pay him a visit on one of her free days and explained it all as best as she could.

"What were you doing that kept you so busy?" He said the exact question that I didn't want to answer.

I sat there in silence staring at the beautiful night sky that seemed to reach on for miles. But His emotions were streaming through the air breaking the serene air that was around us. It was hard to keep staring at the beautiful sky and feeling his concern and questions.

I closed my eyes trying to tune it out.

"_You're in love with a blood traitor." The cold voice shouted sending shivers down my spine._

I snapped back, I didn't want _him _in my thoughts now. "I was…I was…" I sat there trying to find the right words.

"Does it have anything to do with Nott and Avery yesterday? You're working with he-who-must-not-be-named aren't you?" He wasn't upset when he said it, he just sounded troubled.

I turned away so he couldn't see my face "I've been putting my life on the line trying to save who ever I can." I nodded truthfully as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"I don't know what to say" I felt him stare at me in amazement "Thank you." He finally said after a small silence.

"No" I responded "It's been worse than you think and I've been selfish."

"Selfish?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at me puzzled.

"I've missed you" I hopped own of the ledge so I could turn and face him.

"That's not being selfish, you were being human." He smiled, again that true smile with real meaning and feelings behind it.

"_This is no longer about you! This is the revival of the Wizarding world!" He shouted at me. "Drop your silly human emotions." He carried on threatening me with his wand being waved around in the air._

I tried shaking it off and turned to Sirius "Speaking of which" I added a playful glare trying to push everything out of my mind "You were being pretty human yesterday." I shook a finger at him.

"What does that mean?" He looked shocked as he furrowed his brows.

"You didn't ask to snog me when you didn't know it was me. I mean usually Sirius Black is all over a hot chick like she's the last piece of birthday cake." I teased while backing up a bit.

Sirius backed off the railing and attempted to push me but I kept dodging and running away "Excuse me! You know what, I knew it was you the whole time that's why I didn't!" He claimed.

I started laughing and stopped running. "Oh and I eat hippogriffs for breakfast!"

"Offended, I so knew it was you! You'd never let me kiss you." He nodded his head as if he was right.

"You don't know that, I might." I shrugged.

"Really?" He looked at me in disbelieve.

"No, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't. For one reason and one reason only" I laughed.

"And that would be?" He questioned.

"I wouldn't want to give you the satisfaction of kissing every good looking girl at Hogwarts." I said in the most serious voice I owned.

He opened and closed his mouth for several moments before playfully pushing me. "You know you have to keep giving your speeches then."

It was my turn to open and close my mouth "I don't want too." I admitted with a pouty lip.

"You don't have a choice." He said firmly.

"Fine" I stepped forward closer towards him.

He took a step towards me as well so we were close enough that I could feel his breath on me "Fine" he said as well.

I couldn't help but noticing how heavenly he smelt. I also couldn't help but noticing the smell of his blood. Swallowing hard, resisting my urges, I stepped backwards. "Anyways, I should get back to the dorm." I said looking around awkwardly.

"What's wrong?" He asked immediately picking up on my discomfort.

"Nothing" I said lying through my teeth.

He reached forward and grabbed my arm "It's something" He looked down at me. I couldn't get over how tall I was. When he looked down it was barely looking down, it was just a small move of the head.

"I'm just not used to being" I paused looking for the right word and I wondered if he knew that I was now a Vampire. "I'm not used to being my age, if that makes any sense." I lightly pushed him off and began walking out of the Astronomy tower.

"Why…I mean…how?" He stumbled out walking with me.

"How do I look my age?" I didn't look at him when I asked it, rather I looked down at my feet feeling guilty.

"Yes, are you…I mean you're not a Vampire are you?" He asked in a whisper.

I stopped walking and stared at him. He was now in the torch lit hallway, while I just stood there in the dark moonlight astronomy tower staring at him.

"Are you?" He questioned once more as I stared at him.

"I'm just me." I shrugged figuring that was the best answer as I started walking again. "And no matter what happens to me, that's all I will ever be."

From there Sirius and I didn't talk. I found we were too lost in our own thoughts that were swimming in our head to interact with one another. So in silence him and I walked to the Gryffindor common room only pausing to say goodbye as we both met up with our friends.

About an hour later Lily, Raven and I all decided to call it a day and in exhaustion we headed up to the dorm.

"Today was just the longest day ever." Lily groaned and threw herself backwards onto her bed. "I mean honestly, what was Dumbledore thinking of making Ja-Potter Headboy?" Lily ruffled her hair and rolled on her stomach.

"Dunno, I think he's a great leader." Raven commented as she took a seat on her bed. I nodded and headed for mine as well.

Lily on the other hand turned to look at Raven with a strong glare "Oh no no no" She said angrily.

"What? He's been pretty good this year." Raven ignored Lily's anger and stayed calm.

"It has to be a first that he hasn't asked you out yet." I thought trying to replay today in my head and seeing where James was being annoying. Personally I thought he had matured a lot in my eyes.

"Now that you mention it…" Raven was now thinking too.

"You don't think he…you know finally moved on?" Lily questioned. Her voice was attempting to sound hopeful, but Raven and I both heard something else instead. We couldn't help but look at each other and suppress a giggle to notice fear within her voice. Maybe we could finally get her to admit she likes James, as she has been hiding that information for over half a year now. But she couldn't fool us closest to her.

"Probably" I smirked and watched Lily closely. Her eyes widened in fear before she turned it back to a smug smile that didn't seem real.

"Good I sure hope so." Lily crossed her arms. Raven and I just continued to eye each other. Lily seemed like she was having a battle within her heart. "No you really think so? Who could he like now?" She looked to all of us.

Raven looked like she was going to say something but Kathleen and Bri had just walked in and obviously had overheard Lily talking.

"You talking about James? Odd he didn't ask you out." Kathleen commented. "Thinking he likes someone else?" She nodded to Lily.

"Possibly" Raven answered knowing that Kathleen and Bri both wanted to get Lily to admit she likes James as well.

"I'm thinking he might well okay…you can't tell anyone this" Bri smirked with a knowing gleam in her eyes.

All of us edged forward, Bri was great at making stuff up, but I could tell from the aura around her, she wasn't lying. This was truth. Everyone was ready for it.

But Bri took her time and sat down on her bed so we were all in a circle sitting on our beds. "I was minding my own business at dinner tonight and I took a seat waiting for Kathleen when nearby James and his crew took a seat. They were within earshot and they weren't being that quiet so you can't blame me." She warned "Any case Sirius brought it up. They were talking about you." Bri titled her head over towards me. All eyes shifted from Bri to me then back to Bri again "Sirius was just saying what a transformation and he honestly couldn't believe it was you. And James was agreeing saying you were such a beauty. And then Sirius went onto say he didn't know how to act around you anymore, it was like you are a whole new person." Bri kept going on. I couldn't help but noticing the small look Lily was giving me. But she couldn't blame me. I knew it wasn't my fault. "And James just said he could almost consider dating Kobato." Now this part wasn't the full truth. I could tell, she was holding back something by the way she said it. I knew no one else would pick on it, but I did.

"One thing's for sure" Lily said looking annoyed, it had the affect we wanted "Something's up with Sirius." It was not what we were expecting at all.

"Sirius was just fine. He and I were talking tonight." I said staring at Lily in confusion.

"Well if you don't see anything wrong I have no reason to point it out to you." Lily smirked and got off her bed. "I'm going to bed, so I can get up and face this all again."

"Oh god…school again tomorrow." I groaned as it hit me.

"If it makes you feel better you and I can become an item to stop all this nonsense." Raven winked.

I looked over at her thoughtfully "I just might take you up on that offer. Today was…" I couldn't find the right words.

"Eventful" Bri filled in for me with a smile.

"All the more to go to bed so we can start the excitement again." Raven laughed, I just glared.

"Get out of this dorm" I pointed at the door. Raven just came over to me and gave me a big hug.

"Too bad I can't pick you up and put you on my shoulder anymore." She sighed as arm and arm we headed off to the bathrooms to get ready for bed.

* * *

I'd like to say the week got better, but it really didn't. It got to the point where every guy that attempted to approach me whether it was 'asking' for help on homework or just wanting to talk in general I would either:

A. Create a shield charm around me so that they couldn't approach me.

B. If we were in the hallway make them step on ice I formed with my Vampire powers and let them slip and fall.

Needless to say I was annoyed and Sirius was getting upset for some odd reason too. He was so moody barely anyone could approach him. James even gave him a detention because of his unruly behavior. It surprised us all that James actually gave his best friend a detention, regardless if he was headboy or not…it was just odd. I tried asking Sirius what was bothering him but he just told me he didn't know at all. He just said he was angry and annoyed.

And so I can't stress enough that it is Saturday morning. Saturday morning! I don't have to wear my school uniform, I can wear one of my dresses and I can hide away and not get caught in the hallways by boys. Although they were starting to learn their lesson…

"Happy Saturday everyone!" I happily said as I stretched. I figured it was time to get up, we had a late night of staying in the dorm having girl talk.

It looked like everyone was already up and dressed. I must have slept really heavy.

"About time you are up" Raven teased. "We were just about to go to lunch without you."

"Give me just a bit. You guys can wait in the common room if you want." I stretched out and got out of bed.

"Okay, we will be in the common room." Lily smiled and waved.

"See you in a few." Raven said while following Lily out of the dorm. With one big smile I headed for my trunk to pull out one of my new dresses I got.

But when I got there none of my dresses were there. I never looked in my trunk. I only pulled stuff off the top because that's where everything was. And I just assumed, since Elliot packed it for me, that he packed the right clothing. One quick glance let me know that he didn't. All I had was the things I wear for raids and my old dresses that don't fit me anymore. My eyes widened. This wasn't anything I could wear.

Panicking I grabbed my blanket, wrapped it around me and ran to the stairs.

"Lily!" I cried panicking but staying on the staircase far enough away so that no one could come up by me but girls, seeing as I was still in my nightgown.

"What's wrong Kobato?" She called out. She was sitting with Raven near the window and upon hearing my voice she got up and looked curiously over at me.

"Elliot packed my clothing and and and" I leaned forward peaking around in the common room, it looked pretty empty to me. "He didn't pack the right clothing." I cried.

"What did he pack?" Lily questioned as her and Raven appeared in front of me. "I mean I'm sure it's wearable."

I shook my head "He did pack my old dresses, but those would be too short." I pouted. "I don't like…you know…I like my dresses." I shifted.

"Did he pack anything else?" Raven asked hopefully knowing my discomfort.

I made a face "Kinda" I shifted the blanket "I mean…its stuff I wear when…well never mind when I wear it…oh just come up here!" I groaned stepping down to grab them.

"Is there something wrong?" Sirius materialize out of nowhere.

"Kobato's just having a wardrobe malfunction." Raven filled him in.

"It's more than that! I have nothing to wear but my school uniform." I cried now pulling the blanket tighter around me trying to cover my legs and arms.

Sirius just smiled "You can borrow some of my clothing." He added.

"Or mine" James came around now too.

"No we are good!" Lily quickly said not even bothering to look at James as she pulled Raven and I up to the dorm. "Let's just see what else Elliot packed!" She said loudly hoping the guys got the hint to just go to lunch.

"I'm telling you it's no good." I shook my head letting a sigh escape my lips.

Lily and Raven were just smirking finding this to be the funnies thing ever. I wasn't amused at all. In fact I wore a scowl as we headed for my chest which I had scattered its contents all over the floor.

"What's wrong with these?" Raven answered holding a pair of jeans.

My eyes widened "When have you seen me wear jeans?" I asked as if she was crazy while snatching my jeans out of her hands.

"Good point…" She said in a small voice backing away from my annoyance.

"No she's right, none of these are what you usual wear." Lily picked through a couple more piles of clothing. "When do you wear these?"

"Truth?" I bit my lip out of the awkwardness of this situation. I hadn't told them at all what I was doing all summer.

"Seeing as it is nothing like you to own these kinds of clothing, yes." Lily sat down on the floor motioning for me and Raven to do the same.

I sighed and took a seat "All summer I've been doing Order of the Phoenix work." I cringed waiting for the outcry that didn't come.

"The what?" Lily questioned while furrowing her brow.

"Exactly, what?" Raven looked just as confused.

"It's an organization that Dumbledore himself started to help get rid of Voldemort." I filled them in "What I've been doing is…well working with Vampires non-stop and going on raids. I need to be able to move freely, so I'd often wear tighter clothing so I could move and run better." I rubbed my neck letting the truth flow out.

"So you've been fighting against you-know-who?" Raven's eyes widened in amazement.

"Yes" I sighed grabbing my favorite pair of dark blue jeans and a simple white button up top. "Anyways I guess I'll just wear this." I didn't give it a second thought and immediately started changing.

"Wait wait wait, you've been out fighting and you didn't tell us?" Raven's jaw opened and closed in amazement.

"She's also acting like it's nothing. Especially…well are you healthy enough for this? I mean you nearly died last year from what I understand." I watched Lily closely. She was slightly freaking out. I could tell from her the atmosphere around her, she was really worried for me and my health.

"Lily?" I closed my eyes and stopped buttoning my shirt. "We can talk about this another time, but just know that I'm safe." I reopened my eyes to see both of them nod.

Lily knew to just drop it. Shaking her head "These don't look bad on you at all…you look amazing." She smiled changing the subject with ease.

"I need my belt, it feels weird without it." I ignored her comment and scurried around for it. It was a belt that usually held all my guns, my wand, a couple of vials and potions, or whatever else I needed on a raid. "Ah here it is." I smiled and put it on happily. "Let's go get lunch." I said nervously.

"You look great." Raven patted me on the back as we started walking.

"That's what I'm afraid of." I groaned and walked a little slower.

Lily laughed "Stop worrying, we will scare the boys off!"

"I doubt it…" I said skeptically as we approached the end of the staircase. I refused to come out into the light just yet "Sirius and James are gone?" I asked in a harsh whisper.

"Looks like the-" Raven started but was cut off.

"No we waited for you guys." James said in a cheerful voice, I could have hexed him.

Instead I decided to inch back up the staircase. "I'm not coming down, I changed my mind. I don't need food." I said quickly deciding to run back up the stair case. Raven caught me though and decided to drag me down. I didn't want to hurt her so I didn't protest at all.

"Raaveeeen" I whined and hid in her chest.

"Let's just go, you may not be hungry but I am." She said firmly as I still cowered onto her. "I'm not going to drag you the whole way." Raven groaned. "You can fight evil but you can't face Hogwarts in normal clothing, what are we going to do with you?"

"Fine" I snapped and pushed myself off. I flipped my hair directly in her face and walked past the group of them. I couldn't help but to feel the eyes that followed me as I led the way. "Are you guys coming?" I questioned to the group of boys standing there.

"They can stay" Lily insisted.

"No we will come with" James smiled warmly.

Together, James, Raven, Sirius, Lily, and myself walked in a awkward silence to the great hall. I didn't feel right though. I kept fidgeting and threatening to run away. I couldn't calm myself down until Sirius stopped the group.

"You guys go on a head, I'm going to talk with Kobato." He said firmly. Everyone just nodded and went ahead. I couldn't help but notice that normally Lily would have taken this oppertiunty to run or stay behind with me, but she didn't she walked on in the group and as I was watching and listening to them walk away she actually started a conversation with James. Although the conversation was only about headboy and girl duties, it was a start.

"How is this a wardrobe malfunction?" Sirius snickered at me.

I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at him "You see this is what I wear on..." I leaned in close to him "Raids."

"Really?" He looked mildly surprised "It's weird here you are grown up and now you're in muggle clothing showing off your figure...what am I going to do with you?" He questioned shaking his head.

"Lock me up" I shrugged. "I'm not concerned about me, I'm concerned about you personally. You've been really rotten lately. You sure you don't know what's bothering you?" I reached out and grabbed his hand trying to figure out what I can do to help him.

"I really don't know. I've just been really edgy and the weirdest things set it off too. I think I need a snog or something." He wasn't lying at all, he didn't know what was making him so upset.

I really didn't like the idea of him snogging someone, but if it would help...

"If it would help you, I want my best friend back." I reached out and pulled him into a hug.

He held me tightly for a moment before pulling away "Promise I'll be back to normal soon. I can get a girl by tonight and then tomorrow we can hang out and do homework." He smiled hopefully.

"Okay" I returned the smile hoping with all my heart that he would be back to normal soon. There was this weird air around us lately and it wasn't playful. It was just awkward and his anger fits were making them much worse.


	29. Chapter 29: A story far ahead

**Chapter 29: It's tantalizing but that is still a story for far ahead.**

**A/N: So fanfic wouldn't let me upload this like at all…but it finally is now :3. Maybe it's on to me…this chapter is just too adorable or something. Or horrible…dun dun dun. Anyways, here it is. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks Sirius' behavior didn't improve. We all knew he was with girls now, but it didn't do anything. He would get a snog date, only for her to get annoyed with him. And it was a constant battle. We knew it wasn't any closer to getting any better. The girls weren't helping. From what Kathleen had overheard from one of the girls he had snogged, Sirius apparently after like fifteen minutes if not less would break apart and say something like 'This isn't right' or 'No this isn't...ugh' and then he'd end up walking away. But the next day he would still try and find someone else. But as far as anyone could tell, no one was good enough for the great Sirius Black because his behavior stayed the same.

The one thing that did help was when he was practicing for Quidditch. That was about the only thing that kept him normal. Tryouts had already passed and he had been practicing non-stop. He, James, and Raven made it on the team. I didn't bother trying out. I just didn't have the heart.

In any case it had gotten to be that when Sirius was coming anyone would ignore him, unless they wanted a quick fifteen minute snog. I didn't really get that choice because often he would come up to me and single me out to talk. I tried my best, but something was always just off between us. And I knew for sure it wasn't me at all. It was all him and this behavior like someone stuck a wand up his nose or something.

Lily and I had just finished up in the library, we were trying to get all our homework done so that we could enjoy the Halloween feast this Friday. But it was a grim outlook for finishing all of it.

"I wish we have Vaveriuz back, this new DADA teacher is really...harsh." I groaned as I shoved my half completed essay into my back pack.

"Why did she quit anyways?" Lily asked.

Moving my backpack to its right place I sighed "She's wanted by you-know-who. Trying to gather as many mutants as he can from what I understand. So she's in hiding right now. I'm sure she will be a Vampire in no time." I shook my head truly feeling sorry for her.

"That's awful" Lily sighed and I had to agree with her. "At least we are learning a lot, I suppose..."

"This isn't stuff we will really use. Trust me" I said while skipping a trick stair.

"What do you mean? Why wouldn't we use some of these defensive spells?" Lily rose an eyebrow like I was crazy.

"You won't have time, he wants you dead he wants you dead." I answered simply knowing first hand. "He wants you tortured, you'll be tortured." I let out a shutter. "It's not prob-" I started but was cut off.

"Princess!" I heard someone shout. That nickname could only mean one thing. Death eater wannabes.

"Lily go ahead, see you in the common room." I muttered and turned around to see Avery, Nott, Sev, and Mulciber waving at me with grins. "Hey you guys!" I smiled as warmly as I could, finding it harder and harder now a days to put on this façade that I have when I am around them.

"Care to talk a bit?" Avery questioned hopefully.

"I've got some time I suppose" I didn't really want to be in their company right now, but I really didn't have much of a choice. "Besides we haven't seen each other in a while." I couldn't imagine why…

Nott snorted in disgust "You are always with that mudblood, like we want to visit you then."

I saw Sev shift a bit in his spot but he didn't say anything. "Regardless it's been a while." I tried my best not to narrow my eyes. It really hurt me when they called Lily a mudblood because personally she's a hundred times better than they will ever be.

"Yeah…" Sev said in a far off voice as a silence glazed among us.

Mulciber shifted closer to me trying to fill in the silence "Any news?" He questioned almost instantly as he and the others shook off the awkwardness that formed. I wonder sometimes if they have realized that I'm not a mudblood killing machine like Voldemort puts me out to be (seeing as I've only killed 3 Vampires in my whole life and no humans…)

"I get letters almost every day actually." I admitted "But nothing too extreme. Apparently just having trouble with the project I left behind." I laughed. I loved how he couldn't control the Vampires like I could. He would never be able to regardless of how much he wanted too.

"You always did a great job." Avery commented with a pat on my back.

"We should start walking to the Slyhterin common room, away from preying ears." Sev noted as a couple of Ravenclaws passed by us.

"Sure thing" I smiled, even though that was the last place I wanted to be. Reluctantly I started to walk with them.

"Dad says there was a big raid, the Daily Prophet hasn't reported it yet." Nott grinned trying to look impressive to all of us.

"Oh the one on Monday?" I questioned trying to think back. Today was Wednesdays, so that would have had to have been Monday.

Nott looked a little defeated but puffed out his chest none the less. "That's the one, dad says they managed to imperius another Ministry official." Nott said in a whisper. We all still heard him as we continued to descend to the dungeons.

"Proof right there, he doesn't need me." I smirked playfully.

"Darling, who doesn't need you? Look at you" Avery teased and rested his hand around my waist. I didn't protest, I was used to this treatment from the likes of _them._

"I know I know" I laughed and put my arm around his waist as well. "But really, I don't think I did that much anyways. I mean I know I helped out a bit." I stopped talking, I wanted to say more, but I noticed a spell was coming. Before I had time to respond Avery's hand ripped off of my waist and fell flat on the ground.

"What the he-" Nott started but he too fell in a full body bind curse. Mulciber, Sev and myself looked around but didn't see any source of the problem. Well they didn't, I noticed right away behind suits of armor was Sirius, James, and Peter. Remus was off somewhere probably not wanting to cause trouble. James clearly didn't care that he was headboy and gladly hexed any Slyhterins.

Sev and Mulciber continued to look around wands ready, but before they could do anything more than just have their wands out, they too were in a full body bind.

Sighing I called out "Boys I was fine you didn't need too hex them." I sighed heavily staring where the boys were hiding. "You can come out now." All at once they crawled out looking guilty, all except Sirius. He looked furious. I mean more furious then he had been ever since school started.

"Sorry it was well deserved." James hung his head as I glared at him. I didn't get a chance to protest, he carried on "We should at least move the bodies. We can't just leave them here for someone to find." He commented pointing to each of them.

"No we are leaving them and going to the common room, you guys are in deep trouble." I growled and turned around to head towards the Gryffindor common room. I didn't bother checking if any of them were following me or not. I could at least trace one pair of footsteps behind me. That was good enough for me because I knew it was Sirius and seeing as he didn't look guilty at all, he was the one I wanted to talk to the most.

Once I felt I was far enough away from the scene, I went into an empty classroom and took a seat on one of the desk waiting. I And sure enough moments later Sirius came through the door looking as angry as ever.

"How could you let that filth touch you?" He growled as he stood in front of me. "Better yet, how could you touch him back?"

I crossed my arms in a defensive manner "Relax, I'm used to it." I shook my head, this was not he conversation I wanted to be having right.

He made a noise of protest before he threw his arms up "Used to it?" He nearly yelled at me "That is not something you get used too! Usually you hex any boy that touches you but Slyhterin's they can touch you whenever you want?" He threw his hands down on the desk and trapped me in as he inched his face closer. I could tell he was upset. His eyes were dark with anger and his face was a little bit red. It was all around us and in the air I breathe. His anger was making me sick.

I easily pushed him away trying to fight of this wave that was crashing down on me. "It is different because I had to deal with it all summer." I growled "That doesn't mean I enjoy it but I had no choice." I threw him a glare.

"You didn't have a choice?" He breathed.

"You don't even know what it's like okay! I still don't have a choice!" I cried "And seriously? You have no reason to be upset at me for my behavior! So why are you, huh?" I demanded now hoping off my desk and took a step towards him trying to get him to back off or react in some way.

He didn't move or inch away at all he just stood his ground. "I just don't like it okay!" He reasoned while raising his voice louder still.

I blinked at him "Is that what his is about?" I turned to leave "I can't believe you are jealous!" I said in disbelief as I grabbed the door handle.

I couldn't leave though. Sirius had grabbed onto me and turned me around "You are missing the point completely! I am not jealous at all!" He sneered with a sharp glare. "This is…you just wouldn't understand." He explained.

"Then explain it to me would you?" I pulled my wrist out of his tight grasped and crossed my arms over my chest in irritation. I knew I was right. I could sense jealousy all around him. You can't lie to me, not anymore.

"I just…Kobato…you" Sirius stumbled around for the right words. He looked confused and afraid in some ways. Finally he frowned and all emotions were erased from his face accept anger. "No I'm not jealous. Personally you are letting all this attention go to your head. You are turning into some kind of whore." And with those harsh cold words, he left slamming the door with an ear splattering ring.

I had no clue what just happened. But it wasn't at all what I was expecting. I couldn't help but let my body slouch down to the ground. I didn't know how to approach this problem at all. He was in denial. He was jealous. But jealous of what? That I was getting attention and he wasn't? Or jealous that I let Slyhterin's touch me when he can't even touch me that way? Does he want me like that, as another girl to snog or does he love me?

All I knew was I had to form some sort of plan to get him back to normal. Wasting no time I rushed to the Gryffindor common room in search for Lily and Raven. To tell them what just happened. And both of them agreed with me, Sirius was jealous of something and we had to get him to acknowledge it. So setting aside our goal of making Lily confess, we worked on an angry and more aggressive Sirius.

With hopeful thoughts we started our plan on Friday.

"October 31st, today is Halloween!" Raven squealed as we exited Charms.

I stopped walking, we were headed up to the common room for a rest before the great feast, but something just hit me. October 31st…It was my last time I would see Lily and James alive on Halloween. I couldn't help but let a pit settle in my stomach. Another pit fell in my stomach. If I couldn't get Sirius to fall in love with me it would be the last one spent with him as well.

"Kobato?" Lily questioned breaking my thoughts.

"Just a little tired is all." I lied not wanting her to know my true thoughts. "Let's just get up so we can get ready. This plan needs to go through." My heart wanted it and I knew I had to get him no matter what.

"I feel like there's something you're not telling us." Lily started at me raising an eyebrow in curiosity.

"Like what?" I questioned as I began walking again.

"I understand you don't like Sirius' behavior and all…" Raven caught up to me and was staring at me prying eyes "I mean Lily and I were wonder you don't…" She stumbled on her words. She obviously didn't want me to get upset.

"What she's trying to say is that you don't like Sirius." Lily added finishing the statement for Raven.

I tried not to blush, but I couldn't help the warmth that was spreading to my cheeks "Of course I like Sirius, he's one of my best friends." I filled in trying to cover my discomfort.

Raven let out a laugh "We know that, I mean like, like you want to be with him." She stated.

I looked down to my left, was I really being that obvious? "You can't tell anyone" I glared harshly and slowed my pace a bit as I tried to scope out that no one was listening to us. "I somehow have…you know, falling for him." I admitted with a blush.

Lily smirked "Then we will get this to work." One last look and she carried on walking to the common room "Let's get to the dorm and wait for Potter and Black as planned." Lily nodded and we all agreed.

We didn't have to wait long in the dorm for the boys to be pulling stunts for the first years to awe at and swoon several ladies before the great feast. I had been spying on through the windows in the common room in my dove form. Once I saw them for sure I went back into the dorm and we were ready for the plan. We wanted a good solid reason for me to be "stuck" hanging out with Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter tonight and for several nights to come. On top of that we needed something to set Sirius' anger over the top, that part was all in James' hand. I honestly had no clue what he was doing but he told me to go with it. Just as I told him to trust me on what I had planned so Sirius wouldn't find it weird that I'm spending every day with him.

"Ready Lily?" I nervously questioned as we stood at the door to head down the stair case.

"Yes" She nodded "Wait…Kobato?"

I stopped opening the door "Lily?" I responded in a confused voice.

"Just no matter how nasty this gets just know I don't mean it." She smiled.

"Of course" I laughed. I knew full well what I was getting myself into. "Raven, give us a couple of minutes." I nodded to Raven who was hovering nearby.

"Right, I know the plan." She gave the thumbs up and with that Lily and I exited down the stairs.

Lily and I tipped toed down and waited till we were at the right height and then gave a nod to each other. It was now or never.

"No Lily! You are being unreasonable." I shouted as I emerged off the stair case and entered the common room.

Lily huffed an irritated manner "I am? I am?" She stepped down the stairs as well. I had my back to the rest of the common room, so I didn't know who was looking. Lily didn't dare take her eyes off of me either, she wanted to do this right. "I am not the one who lied to my best friends!"

I scoffed and backed up a little more so we could be farther into the common room. "I didn't lie to you, I would never lie to you!" I argued while daring to take a peek. We had some of the common room's interest. And I couldn't hear Sirius and James talking at all. They had to have been listening.

"You did too and worst of all you didn't bother telling us anything. You left us in the dark while you…you" She paused searching for the right words. I'm not sure if she even knew where she was going with this.

I cut her off trying to fill in so we didn't blow this "Lily why won't you believe me? I didn't have choice." I stepped closer to her trying to reach out and make this more convincing.

Lily played her part well. She slapped my hand away in one quick motion and grabbed her wand and pointed it at me. "There is always a choice and you chose wrong." She pushed her wand closer to me. "I thought we were friends, but apparently not."

I pulled out my wand as well. "Obviously-" I started but Raven had finally come down.

"You two stop it now!" She cried with a panicked look filling her eyes. Both Lily and I turned and glared at her before we started to 'duel'. Her and I had rehearsed what spells we were going to throw and when. We planned it perfectly, but then something happened we didn't plan on, both our wands flew from our hands at the same time. We watched them fly in the air and land in James' hand. We glared at him but didn't say anything. Out of the corner of my eye, I was Lily turn to me. I caught her eye at once. We both had the same thought, fist.

Without a second thought her and I charged at each other and threw our fist up. It seemed to be in slow motion that they collided with one another. I barely even bruised her but she hit me as hard as she could. I know she was going for convincing. And I think it was working because she had pinned me to the ground, produced, made my lip bleed, and give me a fat lip.

But as soon as it started it stopped. I was 'crying' as Sirius was pulling me from underneath her and James was pulling her away.

"LET ME AT HER!" I screamed with as much lung power as I could muster "She…I…I HATE HER!" I stumbled around trying to find the right words as I fought Sirius' grip.

"NO! SHE'S A TRAITOR! LET ME AT HER!" Lily screamed back. I was watching her closely before Sirius finally threw me up on his shoulders as best he could and dragged me up to his dorm. He didn't say anything as he pulled me there either. He did let out a couple of sighs but for the most part he just walked in silence. I felt like I was in deep trouble, but deep down I couldn't help smiling. The plan worked out perfectly. Everyone bought that fight. I was even starting to think it was real.

We were finally in the dorm and Sirius had set me down on the bed. He kneeled down and stared into my eyes wondering what was going on. Neither of us said anything as he continued to stare into my eyes. "She didn't hurt you too badly did she?" He finally broke the silence as he reached forward with his handkerchief to wipe the blood off my lips.

I shuttered at the touch. It was so soft and gentle. "No, I'm fine." I reached out and rested my hand on his wrist.

"Usually you would be dying by now" He looked at me skeptical.

I rolled my eyes "I'm a big girl now." I teased as he pulled his hand down and rested it on my leg. "Remember?"

"What were you two fighting about?" He asked ignoring my question.

I looked down at his hands that were rested on my legs and licked the blood of my lip. I wanted it to look like I was upset and didn't want to talk about it. But Sirius wouldn't have any of that. He grabbed my chin and peered into my eyes with concern and curiosity. I blinked a couple of times feeling uncomfortable at his strong gaze "Lily…found a letter from you-know-who in my trunk. She was looking for a necklace she could borrow. And well…yeah" I looked away in my attempt to feel bad. Truth was Lily didn't actually find anything.

"I can see where she would be upset, but she'll come around." Sirius smiled warmly as he reached out and rested his hand on my cheek.

"I know…but I was going to sit with her at dinner and I was just looking forward to it" I sniffled.

He lightly patted my face "You can sit with us whenever you need too." His eyes were filled with love and comfort, he meant those words.

I laughed while leaning forward to push my forehead against his "I was planning on it and there's nothing you could possibly do to stop me." I grinned.

"You really think so?" He raised an eyebrow and pushed his head against mine with more force then I was.

"I know so, I'm better at dueling then you and I have powers you couldn't even dream of." I teased, knowing part of it was true.

He leaned back to get a better look of me "Yeah okay." He shook his head in disbelief. "I am better than you and we all know that."

I crossed my arms acting like I was pouting "Wanna bet?" I questioned down at him.

"I don't need too. I told you I am better than you." He said in his cocky voice.

I stood up. "Right whatever helps you sleep at night. Oh and speaking of sleeping, I'll sleep in your bed. Best if I don't sleep in the same room as Lily." The thought just popped in my head. Why not? It's a Friday night. I can get away with it till Sunday night. That way I can get as much time with Sirius as I could.

"What? You can't just decide these things!" He tried sounding angry but his laughter destroyed that.

"I just did" I quickly said before turning my face into sadness "Please…this isn't easy. Lily is my best friend" I paused and closed my eyes "Can't I just be near you and and James?" I asked opening my eyes to give him big pouty eyes.

He reached out and pulled me into a tight hug "Just this once." He let go and ruffled my hair. "Come on it's about time for the feast" He gave me once last smile and started walking for the door.

"Have I ever told you that you're my favorite?" I questioned as I ran to his side to grab his arm.

He didn't protest to me holding onto his arm, rather he pulled me closer to him. "No I don't think you have." He grinned from ear to ear.

"Well I just did and that's pretty much the highest honor you can receive." I laughed as we made our way down the stairs.

"Too bad you are only my second favorite." He said in a serious tone.

"Really? Whose your first?" I questioned not being phased at all by this news. "Wait let me guess, your lover James." I said in a sing song voice.

"How'd you know? My love for James was supposed to be a secret!" Sirius pouted as we entered the common room.

"Lucky guess maybe?" I laughed, I couldn't help but laugh. I loved being with him.

"Sure" He rolled his eyes as we scanned the room for James, Remus and Peter. They were an easy find seeing as most of the common room was now dead, everyone was ready for the feast.

"Everything okay?" James asked when we finally made it over to them.

"I think so" I shrugged not really sure what to say or what happened to Lily.

"I don't think Lily is, Raven and her headed down already." James shook his head "She was pretty hysterical in disbelief. Whatever you two fought over must have been bad."

"I don't want to talk about it." I scowled "Can we just go down to the feast?" I questioned hopefully.

"Please, I'm really hungry." Peter groaned. I couldn't help but laugh.

"You got it Peter!" James saluted him with a grin and started walking, all of us following his lead. "Oh and Kobato?"

I picked up my pace so I could stand next to him "Yeah James?" I questioned.

"Remember that homework assignment you wanted me to help you with?" He threw me a small wink. I was utterly confused at his question. I just stared at him for a bit.

"Homework…" I thought for a moment before it hit me. The assignment to get Sirius upset. "Oh right right that one." I smiled finally catching on.

"Yeah I looked into what you needed, we can talk about it tonight." He nodded. I wanted to ask more, but I knew I couldn't. Not with Sirius here.

"What did she need help with?" Sirius looked at James in confusion.

James just smirk "Its top secret." He responded in a playful voice.

Sirius scowled, we all thought for sure he was going to land into one of his anger fits. But he shook it off "Well whenever you need help Kobato, I'm a much better choice then James." He smiled and grabbed my arm "For future reference."

I held on tightly to his arm "I know you are, but only James could take care of this job, sorry."

He put his scowl back on his face "I don't see wh-"

I cut him off by pulling on his arm hard "Was Lily really upset?" I asked in my attempt to change the subject.

"She wouldn't say what she was upset over, but she was really bent over it." Remus sighed "And she had to have been, she's not the type to throw a punch or curse at just anyone." He noted.

"Speaking of which, your fat lip" Sirius turned to me and looked at my lip "It's already healed and gone" he stared at me in confusion.

"Fast healer?" I shrugged while making a face.

"Or there's something you're not telling the rest of us and Lily found it out." Sirius glared at me.

"Now is not the time Sirius." I growled and picked up the pace as we neared the great hall. "Please" I begged, I wasn't in the mood to have a fight with him.

"Fine" He scowled as a silence fell between all of us. It stayed over us until we walked into the great hall for our final Halloween feast at Hogwarts. I couldn't help but grin from ear to ear as I sat down in between Sirius and James.

"Our last one, eh?" Remus commented the one thing all of us seem to be thinking.

"Seems pretty surreal" James sighed and looked around the Gryffindor table, no doubt for a glance at Lily. We all had sad smiles laced upon our faces as we peered around at the giant pumpkins and all the glorious decorations. It was a sight to behold. I could just feel the air around us get thick with emotions, but no one said anything. We just stared around and enjoy each other's company until the feast started.

Dumbledore gave a great speech as usual. It may have started off as gloom and doom, but he still did a great job and pulled through with happiness in the ending, leaving us all ready for the food. And the food was fantastic. But I think it was made even better by the fact that I was with such great friends. All of us had a great time, laughing and talking and eating. And by the time desert came around we were so full, we were just eating because it was there. But it seemed to be adding to our euphoria.

"No I don't want to try that one!" I groaned not wanting another bite of anything else.

"Please you barely eat anymore." James sighed holding a piece of red chocolate in front of my face.

"I eat a lot! I'm getting fat, I swear." I pushed the chocolate back towards him.

"Oh whatever" Sirius rolled his eyes. "Just try it! We want to know what it is."

"Then maybe you should try it." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the piece of chocolate out of James' hands and shoved it towards Sirius.

"I will if you kiss me." He smirked.

"That is not a fair trade. Remus tell him that's not fair." I turned to Remus who was munching on a piece of cake.

"I'm staying out of this." He said truthfully and went back to his food.

I scowled "Fine, Peter tell him that's not a fair trade!" I pouted over to Peter. He couldn't say no to me.

Peter made a face "Sorry, I can't argue with Sirius."

So he could say not to me…

"Fiiiiiiiiiiine" I whined as Sirius looked hopeful. I instead of leaning forward and kissing him, I ate the chocolate whole. I moaned, it was delicious "Best chocolate ever."

Sirius looked a little upset "What kind was it?" He questioned regardless of what his true thoughts were.

"Bl-" I started but then realized it might be weird that I enjoyed blood chocolate. No point in lying though. "Blood chocolate."

"Ewww, really?" James looked at me with disgust written all over his face.

I rolled my eyes "Would I lie to you?" I pointed out and grabbed another piece and ate it happily.

"That's nasty" Sirius finally said well staring at me.

"Try some, you might like it." I said while handing him one.

"No thank you, I am not a Vampire." He grabbed it at any rate and handed it to Peter "Here Peter you eat it."

"Why me?" Peter groaned and looked at it with fear.

"Because you can" Sirius commanded.

Peter wanted to retort but I felt arms fall around my waist and a head rest on my shoulder. I wasn't suspecting it at all so I let out a loud squeal.

I gasped and turned around to see Avery smirked. "Oh my god, you scared me Avery." I said with a big smile.

"Sorry, but we were wondering, would you like to hang out with us tonight Princess?" He questioned still holding me in a tight hug.

I didn't look at Sirius or James as I pushed Avery off to stand up "I would love too" I smiled warmly.

"She will not" Sirius cried out standing next to me.

"She's not your property brother." Regulus appeared out of nowhere and glared at his brother. "She is free to hang out with us whenever she wants."

Sirius stood there staring at his brother while opening and closing his mouth. He didn't say anything at all.

Avery took this as a chance to grab my arm "Then it's settle, she's coming with us." And with that I was whisked out of the great hall and was lead down to the dungeons to the Slyhterin common room.

I had forgotten how dark and dreary the Slyhterin common room was, so I was a little shocked after being in the bright colorful great hall to be here. But I didn't protest.

"We didn't go overboard did we?" Regulus turned to me and questioned as we went to go sit down on the couches.

"Overboard on what?" I looked between Regulus, Avery, Sev, Nott, and Mulciber feeling confused.

"Did Potter not tell you?" Regulus looked confused now as well.

"Wait, he talked to you guys?" I looked shocked as I got comfortable on the couches.

"Yeah, we couldn't understand why he came up to us in a friendly manner." Avery commented.

"But all he said was we needed to grab you in a 'loving' manner and pull you away from them." Regulus filled in the rest. "He just said it was part of a plan."

"I honestly don't know why we agreed" Nott growled.

I let out a laugh "It was to help Sirius, we are trying to get him to realize what's making him so mad lately."

"Do you think he's jealous of something?" Regulus moved closer to me on the couch feeling curious.

I nodded "We think he's jealous of the attention you boys give me." They let out a laugh.

"Anything to cause him discomfort, I'm in." Sev smirked devilishly.

"Well I don't want to go to excessive" I quickly well looking sharply at Sev "I…he's my friend and I just want him…normal." I looked around shiftily. I didn't want them to know I actually loved Sirius. That was the last thing I wanted.

Nott laughed "Not what I heard. Rumors are stirring among Death Eaters you know." He turned to me with a raised eyebrow. I didn't say anything. I swallowed hard wondering what he had heard. "Apparently the Dark Lord, from what I understand, tortured you for an hour for being in love with a blood traitor." He said in a low tone. But we all heard him loud and clear.

"I heard that too." Mucliber nodded in agreement.

I looked around at them "But there weren't any names called out, he never said who I was in love with." I tried not recalling the memory. He had invaded my mind when I wasn't ready and found out how much I really cared for Sirius. And he knew, he knew Sirius was a blood traitor. The thought along made him angry enough to nearly torture me to death.

Sev laughed "Have you ever seen yourself around Black."

I wanted to retort and say something mean to him, but I couldn't. I just stared at him and didn't say anything, but I caved in they were expecting something out of me "He tortured me for a lot of things. I'm a cheeky kind of girl."

Nott laughed "You were, this is true." He commented. "You should just be respectful of him."

"I will once I get back, starting to miss those nightly tortures." I said sarcastically.

"It's for a good cause." Mucliber said in a voice that let me know he meant it. It made me slightly sick to think about that.

"It will take a while. He only has petty ministry officials now. If he wants to take over he's going to need bigger names." I smiled knowing full well how little power he actually did have. He could kill almost anyone he wanted, but taking over the ministry was going slower than ever.

Avery shook his head in agreement "From what I understand he wants to get actual spies, the ones that are being controlled won't last forever."

Nott edged forward on his seat "Dad reckons he wants to use one of us to get into the ministry once we get a job there."

Sev laughed "I won't be getting a job with the ministry as far as I know."

"Kobato will won't you? Especially being his right hand girl." Avery patted my back as if he was proud.

I sighed "Not sure really…I plan to be a Vampire hunter." Everyone let out a snort of laughter at my words.

"That won't happen, not anymore." Avery laughed practically crushing my dreams.

"Who knows" I shrugged.

We carried on talking about Voldemort, his plans, and our plans with Voldemort a for the rest of the evening. I didn't mind, we were having fun. But around midnight something strange happened. I was beginning to get a little tired and was dozing off on Regulus' shoulder when it happened. I had stopped listening about an hour ago and now I was just attempting to sleep. But just as I was falling asleep my eyes snapped open and my heart felt as if it was crying out. I couldn't explain it. I felt like I had forgotten something very important and in forgetting I felt like I was getting over a severe break up. Or something to that manner, it was just so hard to explain. I did know one thing though, I wanted to cry.

I pulled my head off of Regulus shoulder and stood up. My body felt heavy with emotions. I couldn't figure them out. Something strange was going on with my heart and my mind. I couldn't explain it.

"Kobato? Are you okay?" Regulus asked the minute I turned to look at them. I could see in the dimly lit room that worry was etched on his face.

Slowly I nodded "Yes, I just…I'm going to go to my dorm and go to bed." I wiped my eyes wearily as my eyes began to swell with tears.

"Do you want someone to bring you back?" Avery questioned hopefully.

"N-n-no" I said while staring off in to the distances. I wanted someone to hold me and to make it be okay. I want to cry, but most of all I didn't want to be around these guys.

"Okay, well goodnight." Avery smiled warmly. I returned it, but only slightly before I turned and left.

I didn't care what time of night it was or that I could get in trouble. I wondered loudly to the Gryffindor common room as I fought my hardest to keep the tears from coming. But I lost that battle. My heart was feeling worse and worse by the minute. To be honest it was scaring me. I couldn't explain it. I kept feeling like I forgot someone important. Someone important that I loved and that thought alone was making me want to cry. But it wasn't just that, it was also that I felt heartbroken. All this urged me to make it to the Gryffindor common room at the very least.

When I finally stumbled in I couldn't help but want to go straight for Sirius. There was no way to explain it. My heart just yearned for him. I didn't protest with my heart at all, I let it pull me right into his dorm as the tears streamed down my face. I walked all the way over to his bed, knowing full well he was asleep. I didn't care though, I crawled right in and snuggled up next to him.

He jumped backwards at first but then when he noticed it was me he glared.

"Si-si-Sirius" I sniffled a bit before I finally fell into complete sobs.

His face lightened up as he realized I was crying. He grabbed onto me tightly and pulled me into his chest. "What happened? What did those boys to do you? Are you alright?" He spewed a thousand questions of concern as I continued to cry into his shoulder.

"Nothing" I cried louder and let out a couple more sobs "Happened" I carried on as I rubbed my face in his bare chest, just realizing now he was in nothing but his boxers. I paid no attention to that and continued to cry.

"Then why are you crying?" I could feel the warmth of his body spread across mine as he held me closer in a tender embrace.

"I don't know" I answered truthfully and took in every scent of him. "I just miss…" I could explain, I missed something, or at least that's what I felt. That I missed someone or something and I forgot something or someone.

"Do you miss home?" He questioned as he stroked my hair lightly. I didn't know what to say because I didn't know what I was missing. So I settled for nodding my head. He seemed to understand "Shhhh, it's okay." He smiled warmly and lightly kissed the top of my head. The kind gesture shocked me and sent comfort throughout my whole body. I looked up with tear stained eyes in attempted to so my gratitude. "Why don't you get some sleep?" He questioned as he pulled my face back into his chest.

"Is something bothering you?" I asked while I wiped my eyes. I could tell that something was bothering him from his scent and the way he held his body right now. He probably didn't want to talk about it, but I could tell something was up.

"Yes, but you don't need to worry yourself about it right now." He said softly as he carried on patting my hair.

"Padfoot, who are you talking too at this hour?" I heard James question "Or are you talking in your sleep again?" He laughed.

"No one, just go to bed Prongs." Sirius held me closer trying to shield me away from James, for some odd reason.

"You have a girl here don't you?" Peter groaned from the bed across from us.

"None of your business, go to bed" Sirius snapped.

I didn't say anything, if Sirius didn't want them to know I was here just yet, than I wouldn't let them know either. But I didn't see what the point was, come daylight they would know I was here.

"It is seeing as we are all in the same room." Remus called groggily from his bed. Everyone seemed to be edgy with Sirius tonight.

That's when it hit me. I could sense from Sirius' emotions, he was trying to save me from embarrassment of everyone finding out that I was crying or that something was wrong. He was protecting me, no matter the cost.

"I'm going back to sleep" Sirius said without a second though pulled the curtains closed around us and crawled right back next to me. He let a smile graze across his lips before he kissed me lightly on the forehead "Goodnight Kobato."


	30. Chapter 30: Courage

**Chapter 30: I'll take that handful of courage, and with it survive another day. **

**A/N: To answer, Kobato does not have a dark mark. She's a vampire now and considered filth, even if Voldemort is using her. Anyways, I had trouble getting this chapter done I kept doing other stuff, so this is my apology. Partly because I didn't know how to word it and partly because I was having fun doing other stuff :O. Shame on me I know. In any case, I think you will find it was worth the wait. Hopefully :3  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

My heart still felt heavy when I woke up in the morning, but my body felt really warm. Slowly my eyes fluttered opened to see Sirius staring down at me while his arms were still around me. It took me a moment to realize what was going on and that I had fallen asleep in his arms, but the more I thought about how I got here and last night, the more I felt like my heart was still ripping in two. I scrunched my face up trying not to let it tear up again. Sirius noticed that right away.

"You still not feeling well?" He whispered as he pulled me close to him.

I shook my head "I'll be alright." I whispered in a voice that was on the verge of crying.

"Maybe some lunch would help?" He suggested as he peered into my blue eyes, his dark ones searching for some answers.

I shook my head again. I didn't want food. Sleeping this close to him and being able to smell his blood was throwing me off and making me thirst. I couldn't tell him that though. I didn't want him knowing I was a Vampire yet, though I had my suspicions that he already knew.

"Sirius, I want to go to my dorm." I explained as I sat up. I really felt it now, my head was throbbing and I found I didn't want to get up at all. I had no clue how I would get to my dorm at this rate. I just felt so heavy.

"You don't look so good. Why don't you stay here?" He reached out and put a hand on my shoulder in concern.

"No I want to go back" I said firmly in a weak voice and without a second thought I opened the curtains and left.

I got to my dorm without any questions. It was still early afternoon was what I could guess, but that didn't seem to matter to me. What did matter was getting into my own bed. Once I got there I stayed there all day with my curtains closed in around me. I couldn't tell you why, but I wanted to be alone. Every so often I would cry uncontrollably then other times I would just feel lethargic. It wasn't until about 10 that night that Lily and Raven finally came up to find me there. They too couldn't do anything to change my mood or make me feel better. So eventually they just left me alone and didn't bother me until the next morning.

Sunday flew by and I continued to lay there. Monday came and I still didn't want to move. Tuesday came and no progress either. Wednesday came and still nothing was making me feel better. Around seven I felt like I had to break free. I had to do something. I couldn't just stay up here forever and mope over what seems to be nothing.

So I quietly peeked out of my curtains, no one was in the dorm. I took it as my chance to fly free. And that's what I did. I slowly opened the window and readied myself. I was a lot weaker then I remember, but I could still do it. With one last check of the dorm I grabbed my wand and let the familiar form take over me as I traded my arms for wings and took flight into the cold November night.

I flew with the wind and let it take me where ever it wanted. I felt that with every beat my wings took my worries were flying away with it. I was starting to feel much better and more relaxed with every passing minute. It was so hard to explain this feeling, but I was feeling better.

After several hours of just flying around in the night, I decided it was best to start heading back to the dorm. I landed right in the Astronomy tower so I could walk around and gather my thoughts a bit more, but I couldn't pull myself away from the night sky. I smiled and turned back into a human, to sit there and enjoy it despite how chilly I was.

I was at peace and my heart felt calm. I couldn't help but close my eyes and drift off to sleep while curled up on the floor of the astronomy tower, for just a small bit.

"Kobato, hey Kobato" I felt someone gently picking me up and placing me on their lap as they attempted to wake me up.

I groaned but didn't open my eyes. I was cozy and someone had put a warm blanket on me. I didn't want to move.

"Kobato!" The voice was more urgent now as if I was in danger.

I still didn't move this was too nice and cozy.

"Come on, wake up! I don't want to have to bring you to the hospital wing!" The voice pleaded. At the words hospital wing, my brain seemed to click. Quickly I opened my eyes and bolted right up only to have my head collide into something solid.

"Owww" I groaned grabbing my head which was now throbbing.

"You're a live!" I looked up through my pain to see Sirius sitting there with a smile on his pained face. He was also grabbing his forehead in pain, it was his head that I hit.

"I suppose I am" I grumbled as I continued to grab my forehead in pain. "What are you doing up here?" I questioned looking at him. He was kneeling down and had to have been holding me in his lap. He was wearing this silly smile on his face that I couldn't quit place. He looked too as if he had rushed here at top speed because his cheeks were a little flushed.

"I…well you know I…" He looked around shiftly as his eyes and my eyes landed on a basket. "I brought you some food. I figured you'd be hungry, you haven't left the dorm since well Friday really." He seemed to be rambling on. His words were all fast and mashed together, it didn't sound like Sirius at all.

I smiled warmly regardless "Well thank you, but I'm not hungry." I admitted staring at the arrange of food he had gotten for me.

"You need to eat though, you've been eating less and less ever since…" He trailed off and looked at me with heavy eyes.

"Since when?" I pushed while leaning forward.

"Since you came back from summer break and I just…I want you healthy." He didn't break his gaze on me, but I could tell he was beginning to feel nervous for some odd reason. "I was scared that you were having another fit or something while you've been locked up in your dorm."

"Sirius I'm fine" I reached forward and grabbed his hands trying to ease his worries just a little bit.

"I know you look fine but…I" He looked down at our hands. "It scares me to see you hurt and feeling ill."

I didn't know what to say, but my body seemed to be guiding me forward as it pulled Sirius into a tight hug. "I don't know if you know this, but we are friends." I smiled warmly taking in his sweet scent.

He laughed gently. "Thanks for reminding me." He pulled away from our hug just so I could see him roll his eyes.

"It's what friends do, they remind each other or something. I'm not really sure." I teased.

"Kobato?" Sirius asked looking at me in concern, I just nodded "Are you sure nothing happened when you were with those Slytherin's?" He asked in a heavy voice.

"We just talked is all" I answered but that didn't seem good enough for him. I think deep in his heart he was really believing something did happen. "Well okay, I did have a snog session with Regulus, if that's okay with you?" I said in a sarcastic tone.

He glared at me "It's not, I really don't like you snogging any Slyhterin. Or any boy for that matter" He said firmly.

I smirked "I'm free to do what I want you know. And if I want to snog your brother I will. Maybe I'll go do that right now!" I got up and quickly tried to exit, but Sirius grabbed me and pulled me down on top of him.

"Don't joke about those things." He grabbed me tightly and looked at me with a serious face.

"Sirius what's wrong" I narrowed my eyes as I searched for what was causing this jealously that I was feeling.

"I just…I don't know. I get frustrated when you aren't around. I get frustrated when I see you smiling with other guys. I want…no I just don't know." He shook his head and placed his hands firmly over his eyes. "We should get back to the dorm, it's after curfew and I don't want a detention." His quick change of subject caught me by surprise. I blinked at him before I got up in silence and waited for him to clean up.

It was an eerie night for us to be walking together. The awkward silence that had formed between us was thick and heavy upon our thoughts. It wasn't an easy walk back to the Gryffindor Tower, but being next to him, no matter how awkward things were between us was calming.

We still didn't say anything as we exited and went our separate ways to our dorms.

Quietly I climbed into bed and fell asleep almost instantly. But I woke up a couple of hours later from a strange feeling. I was dizzy and again my heart felt weird. I couldn't describe it as I sat up in my bed wondering what was going on. Then all at once memories seemed to be flooding into my heart. Memories that I felt I had forgotten.

"_Mommy!" I cried out as I ran to a beautiful woman._

"_Kobato darling, what is it?" The woman responded as she picked me up in her arms._

_I sniffled "I want to go play with Trigger."_

"_Then why don't you go over to the Nightrays?" Mom questioned._

"_Daddy says I can't go there alone." I stated as I clung onto her._

"_Take Snuffles with you." And as if on cue our little black dog walked in and put his wet nose on my leg._

"_But Snuffles was busy napping." I folded my arms and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. He let out a playful bark. "Come on then Snuffles!" I smiled happily as mom set me down._

I rubbed my eyes as the memory faded away and I was back in my bed. I couldn't help thinking something was off there. We never had a dog named Snuffles, what was going on? We never had a dog in general. This wasn't making any sense. It was hard to tell though if I was just dreaming or not. It sure felt fuzzy like a dream. And it didn't feel right. Something was really off…

Groaning I rolled over to look at my clock, 4:24 am. This was going to be a long day if I couldn't go back to sleep already. And I was right the day dragged on. Half way through our lecture in DADA I ended up falling asleep and having another strange dream.

"_Come on Kobato, say something." Trigger grabbed my hand pleading for me to say something. _

_I couldn't help but think as I laid in bed there was nothing to say. The bandages on my head, the wounds covering me, didn't they speak loud enough?_

_Trigger squeezed my hand "Please, I never meant for this to happen. If only I could have gotten there sooner."_

_I shook my head. I didn't have anything to say. I felt lost and confused. But most of all I was scared. I couldn't look Trigger in the eyes at all. He knew this too. _

_I looked down feel awful. I just didn't know what to do anymore. It had been a week since Trigger saved me from the mutant and I just didn't want to be a live anymore. I was so upset._

_Woof!_

_I turned my head as did Trigger. There was Snuffles with his goofy grin running into the bedroom wagging his tail happily. I couldn't help but smile as he jumped on my bed and began licking my face. I wanted to call out, I wanted to say Snuffles, but I couldn't find my voice. It was gone. _

_Snuffles let out a whine. _

"Kobato!" I heard a harsh whisper in my ear as someone lightly tapped my shoulder. I turned to my right to see Sirius standing there looking worried. "Class is over."

"What…" I muttered still not fully aware of where I was. What was with these dreams?

"Class? We are in Charms." Sirius looked at me with concern.

"Oh…right yeah. Let's go to dinner." I mumbled grabbing my things and getting up. "Where are James, Remus, and Peter?" I looked around confused noticing we were the only ones in the classroom.

Sirius smiled "Went on ahead, we couldn't get you to wake up" he held out his hand and I gladly took it.

"I'm sorry, I didn't sleep well last night." I admitted.

"I didn't either." He said as we made our way to the hallway.

"Was something bothering you?" I looked up at him with concern.

"I've just had a lot on my mind lately" He pulled me closer to him "Don't worry about it, okay?"

"I'm worrying" I said in a panicked voice.

"Well don't" He playfully pushed me.

"You can't stop me!" I stuck out my tongue. Sirius made a face at me before he put his backpack down on the ground and tackled me. "Hey!" I cried as he proceeded to tickle me "No…no! Ahahahaha"

"Take it back and I'll stop!" He demanded as he continued to tickle me.

"No! Wait" I said through laughs "Take what…what back?"

He didn't stop tickling even though we were causing a scene and people were starting to stare "You worrying about me, you can't do it!" He explained.

"I…but…Sirius!" I kept laughing "Okay okay I take it back!" I cried out.

"Good" He immediately stopped with a grin. "That wasn't so hard was it?" He asked as he got off of me and started walking like nothing happened.

"You are impossible." I growled as I got up and took my sweet time to walk next to him.

He sighed "It's what I live for. Couldn't make my parents happy, can't keep my frie-" I cut him off.

"Sirius Black, I lied you are amazing." I shrugged as I took my spot standing next to him.

"Kobato Nightray, you are amazing as well." He smiled warmly.

"I know" I responded in my cockiest voice I could.

"Oh come on pompous." Sirius sighed and ruffled my hair.

I rolled my eyes "Your one to talk."

"Hey Kobato?" Sirius' voice surprised me it wasn't his light tone it had just been seconds ago, instead it was serious and dark.

"Y-yeah" I stuttered perplexed as to what he could want.

"Do you think we could talk after dinner?" He asked while turning to me to look me straight in the eyes.

I had to look away. His gaze was intense and over powering. "Why don't we just talk now?" I furrowed my brows looking at him in puzzlement.

"No I want you to eat dinner." He said simply "And I want it to be in private."

My heart started to race, what could this be about? "Okay" I swallowed hard feeling nervous.

He didn't respond back, instead he began walking again and led us into the great hall.

All throughout dinner my heart was racing. I couldn't listen to anything James, Remus, or Peter were saying. Sirius though, I listened to anything he said, trying to figure out what was going through his head. But I couldn't figure it out. It just left me confused and stressed. I didn't have the heart to eat no matter how much Sirius wanted me too. I was so out of it, I'm pretty sure all my Vampire senses were on hibernate. I wasn't sensing anything around me nor could I pick up any emotions. I was too busy focusing on the racing of my heart.

So naturally I didn't notice that Avery had come up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder till I spilt pumpkin juice all down my front.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" Avery admitted ignoring the glares from the boys I was with. "Anyways, can we" He motioned to Nott, Regulus, and Sev "Have a word with you?"

"I ummm…"I looked around shiftily, I didn't want to leave Sirius but how could I say no?

"Go" Sirius whispered lightly in my ear "I'll see you later tonight."

I nodded and did as he told me. But later that night never happened. I ended up sleeping in the Slyhterin dorm, not by choice, but they kept me that late that I fell asleep. And so Sirius had to wait. I had to wait as well. The pounding in my heart got worse when I went to see him the next day. He asked again to meet that night, but that didn't happen either. He ended up getting a detention. And day after day it got pushed off. Thing's kept coming up and keeping us from meeting and it was driving me mad. I wanted to know what he wanted.

One of the biggest things that kept us from having that talk he wanted was me. I kept having dizzy spells and going through these fazes where I would black out and remember some memory that to me seemed distorted. I couldn't figure out what was happening. So by the time December came and the snow was falling, I was growing restless. I wanted to know what was happening to me, because to be honest I was scared. Sirius was patient though. He was with me every time it happened, well almost every time.

I had found more and more that I was getting stressed out over this, so I would turn into my dove form and fly around to get away. But one time that happened I was flying and a wave of dizziness fell over me and I passed out as a dove, needless to say when I did wake up I was very confused and panicked, so I refrained from doing that ever again.

This wasn't the only strange thing happening. Raven and I couldn't help noticing Lily and James. Lily wasn't so mean to him and actually more accepting. On occasion we would notice she would slip up and call him James. And during one tense lunch, James had asked her out in front of the whole great hall. Everyone seemed to hold their breath at this point only to see Lily scowl and stomp out.

We were all waiting for something to happen between them, but we can be as hopeful as we want, until Lily admits she loves him, nothing is going to happen. And I will admit every time I saw them interacting together I got this strong bit of hope in my stomach. I don't think I was the only one, James was getting hopeful as well, but he stayed cool and didn't get cocky at all.

I think all our hopes for them soared in the second week of December, when Lily brought us some news. I had been sitting in my bed with Raven going over some homework when Lily skipped right in grinning from ear to ear.

"So I have some bad news." Lily said while taking a seat on my bed.

"Sure looks like you have some bad news." I teased noticing how much she was smiling.

"Shut it" She glared at me "Anyways so no Hogsmeade trip once again." She sighed, her and James had been trying to organize one all year, but Dumbledore kept saying no because of the way things are and what happened at the last Hogsmeade visit.

"Figures" Raven and I said at the same time with a heavy sigh.

"But we figured something else out." Lily clapped her hands excitedly. "It was James'…I mean Potter's idea. Honestly I'm happy he has some brains in that head of his." She nodded her head seeming proud of James.

"Well?" I questioned abandoning my essay all together.

"We are going to hold a ball, a nice winter one the weekend before break!" Lily squealed.

I blinked at her this was not what I was expecting instead of Hogsmeade. And James thought of this?

"That's great!" Raven squealed as well and threw her arms around Lily.

"I know! James is brilliant!" She said not catching that she complimented him and used his first name. I was now grinning ear to ear more for the sheer fact that Lily was falling for James. "Don't you agree Kobato?"

"Honestly? I hate balls, but I will gladly go and have a great time." I smiled speaking from my true heart.

"Oh please it's not like you will go dateless." Lily rolled her eyes.

"I could, who knows." I said weakly knowing that if Sirius didn't ask me, I didn't want a date.

"Well in any case, there's only about a week in a half for us to prepare, so we are making the announcement at dinner."

The announcement went over well. Everyone was so thrilled. I was too, I couldn't help but hope and dream that Sirius would ask me. We were spending more and more time together how couldn't he?

I was asked by several guys but I said no every time. And when I was asked why, I simply said there was no one I really wanted to go with. Everyone seemed to find this weird, but I was just waiting for Sirius and I didn't want to admit to that.

Sirius was a hot item too. I couldn't help but notice how ridiculous girls got whenever he was near. He paid no attention to it though. He just kept walking, ignoring it all together as if they were dung.

But Sirius never asked anyone out. Neither did I. Somehow we were both dateless. Meanwhile Lily some agreed to go with James and Raven was somehow going with Remus. So the afternoon of the ball, I was more depressed than anything.

"Oh come on Kobato, you can't hate all these dresses." Raven pointed out as I kept throwing dresses and saying I didn't want to go.

"You're right…I don't. I just don't want to go." I admitted while throwing myself in my trunk.

"Why not? It will be so much fun!" Lily smiled. She had been in a euphoric mood all day. Nothing could rain on her parade.

"You" I pointed to both Raven and Lily. "Both have dates and in case you forgot I do not." I growled throwing more clothing on the already messed up floor.

"Why don't you go with Sirius? He doesn't have a date." Lily suggested in a hopeful voice.

"Oh yes me go with the most popular guy in school. Like he'd want to go with me" I snorted.

"You never know until you try" Lily shrugged.

"I know he will probably say no." I sighed.

Raven sat down and put an arm around my shoulder. "I bet you he will say yes." She grinned.

"And I bet you he will say no." I held out my hand with confidence.

Raven grabbed my hand and shook it "You're on. Now get going and ask him." She demanded.

"Fine" I said simply while getting up and walking over my mess. I was hoping he was in the common room, but once I got down there he wasn't. Luckily Peter was. He would know where Sirius is, most likely.

"Peter!" I called and ran over to him "Do you know where Sirius is?" I questioned hopefully.

"Sirius? He's up in the dorm." He answered without a second thought.

"Thanks!" I smiled and took off without a second thought. But when I got up there to knock on the door, I couldn't do it. I was nervous and sick. I was too shy, I couldn't do it. I kept walking away and walking back. I did this for about five minutes until the door opened.

"Kobato what are you doing?" James questioned as if I was mad.

"Well you see…" I stood there frozen mid-pace trying to explain exactly what I was doing. "I was debating on walking in or not. I didn't want to see you and Sirius together…in bed." I made up a crazy lie.

James laughed "Get in here" He sighed and pulled me in.

Smiling shyly I looked around to see Sirius on the floor by some papers. James must have been there too before he opened the door.

"Kobato, to what do we owe the pleasure?" Sirius smiled and motioned for me to sit next to him.

"Oh…I…ummm." I froze up as my face turned bright red. I didn't want to sit next to him. I just stood there looking stupid.

"You are sure acting weird today." James noted and lightly directed me to sit down. I did as he demanded and sat down next to Sirius.

"I am? Oh ummm yeah." I looked left and then right. I didn't feel comfortable.

"So whatcha need? Or are you just here to stutter?" Sirius laughed making me blush even more.

"I well…okay ummm." I shyly looked up at Sirius "Don't laugh at me okay?" I quickly looked away.

"We'd never laugh at you." James smiled warmly waiting for me to say it. Sirius inched forward as well.

"Well…Sirius" I turned to him blushing once again "Would you like to escort me to the ball." I am pretty sure as I said it my heart went into cardiac arrest and I died.

I died even more when Sirius and James laughed.

"I told you not to laugh!" I cried and hid my face.

"Sorry you were just being so shy and worried. I'm your best friend why would I say no?" Sirius pulled my hands away from my face with a warm smile.

"You're forgetting you are Sirius flipping Black." I whined and tried pulling my hands back.

"Oh am I?" Sirius acted mildly surprised. "Well news to me."

"Not funny…" I sighed and quickly got up. "I'll just go, I'm going to go back to my room and destroy it some more. Yeaaah." I said awkwardly and walked to the door. But James caught me and didn't let me go.

"Kobato?" Sirius said in a sweet voice. "I'll escort you to the ball" He smiled warmly. I was just about to go and hug him out of happiness but he continued on "Only if you kiss me though." I glared and him and thought about slapping him. "A joke that was a joke. You are supposed to laugh. Kids these days." He sighed and shook his head.

"Why am I friends with you?" I questioned while crossing my arms.

"You love me" He smiled his cockiest grin.

"Hardly." I snorted and with that I turned and left to get ready for the ball.

If I thought picking out a dress when I didn't have a date was hard, I was wrong. Picking one knowing I was going with Sirius Black was even harder. I had to look my best. I was going to admit to him tonight that I love him. I had too. I felt it was now or never. We hardly got to be alone anymore. I just had too.

I finally settle on a light pink dress robe, just in time for me to go down to meet Sirius, while Lily and Raven went down to met James and Remus respectively.

Everyone seemed to clean up really nicely. James and Remus both looked stunning and Peter, he looked a lot better than usual. As for Sirius…well-

"Sirius said he'd be down in a bit" James sighed and put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "But Lily and I need to get down since we are headboy and Girl. We will see you in the great hall." He smiled in a guilty manner.

"Okay" I swallowed trying not to feel as upset.

"We need to go too, since I'm prefect." Remus admitted in a glum tone, as if he didn't want to leave me.

"I'm sure Sirius will be down soon." Raven commented. "Besides Peter will keep you company won't you Peter?" Raven turned to Peter with a smile.

"No, sorry I have to meet my date outside the great hall." He said shyly as he kicked his feet.

We all stared at him for a moment not able to believe what we were hearing.

"Date?" James rudely commented after several minutes of tight silence.

"Yeah" Peter mumbled shyly while his face turned beat red.

"With who?" James asked continuing to gap like the rest of us.

"James we don't have time we need to get down." Remus put a hand on James' shoulder and started to lead him out.

"Right…well see you later Kobato!" James called still gapping and Peter who was joining Lily, Raven, and Remus out of the portrait hole.

"Bye Kobato, see you soon!" Both Raven and Lily called smiling warmly.

"Bye" I said trying not to sigh as I watched them all leave. I couldn't help but wonder what was taking Sirius so long as I sat down in an open chair away from the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd years.

Did he really not want to go with me? Was that why he was hiding up stairs? Did he find out that I have a crush on him and didn't want to come with me because he thought I was no better than the fangirls? No that couldn't be possible, I wasn't as creepy as they were, right? I at least didn't think so. But he could have seeing as he wasn't down here yet. I mean James didn't say why he wasn't down yet. It could have been any number of things. It didn't have to be my fault. Or that he was scared to see me. We are best friends, I mean not as close as James, but still close friends. And he isn't that much of a jerk to stand me up right? I wouldn't know…has he ever stood a girl up? Maybe when he wasn't going to get a snog…is it really going to come down to that? Am I going to have too?

My mind was racing and zooming. What was going on?

Then it got worse. All at once it seemed to feel as if someone smacked me in the head. I had to lean over and clutch my head as I tried not to cry in pain. It didn't help though, not only was my head hurting, my heart was crying out too. There was nothing I could do. I sat there rocking back and forth trying not to slip out of consciousness. But I couldn't do anything nothing was helping as voices were talking loudly in my head in unfamiliar scenes.

"_No way! Uncle Sirius is coming back to Europe!" _I heard a voice call out, but no one in the room was talking to me. What was going on?

"_Uncle Sirius said that he can't wait to meet you, Kobato!" _My sight was blurring, scenes were flashing before me. I couldn't concentrate. I was in the common room, but there was a person across from me who was there, but not.

"_Uncle Sirius"_

"_Uncle Sirius sent us some gifts."_

"_Uncle Sirius"_

"_Sirius"_

I felt my body crash to the floor as the world around me continued to blur.

_"So did your dad write you back Al?" I looked up happily at, Al as he, Rose, and I sat at our favorite spot in front of the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room. "Christmas is coming up soon and I gotta-"_

_Al cut me off "I forgot to tell you!" He set his potion's book down with a grim look on his face. "I got a letter while you were helping out with the 7th years on their Vampire lesson."_

_"Annd?" I questioned excitement filling me, though with his grim face I assumed the worse. My blue eyes followed from Albus to Rose for any hints as I too threw aside my potions book._

_"Relax would you, honestly Kobato." Rose rolled her eyes acting annoyed. But her parents already gave her the okay for her to go to America and stay at Crossing Academy during Christmas break._

_"What! I can't wait for you to met Trigger!" I clapped my hands, I was thrilled. I was going home in about two weeks to see my best friend Trigger. And my family! I haven't seen them since summer. It's always hard on me being away from them. "So anyways what did your parents say?" I inched forward on my seat closer towards Al, since I knew Rose wasn't going to give anything away._

_"That the whole family is going." Al's face broke into a huge grin. "Even Uncle Sirius."_

_"That's great!" I reached forward and pulled him into a big hug. "Wait, Uncle Sirius?" I looked puzzled._

"_Oh that's right! It will be your first time meeting him!" Al smiled happily "You'll love him, it's a shame you guys couldn't have meet earlier." He sighed as everything started fading back to normal._

"Kobato?" A sharp concerned voice called out.

My eyes snapped open with a start as I felt warm arms around me holding me tightly. I looked up to see Sirius staring down at me and a group of 1st, 2nd, and 3rd years staring worried.

"Do you need to go the hospital wing?" He questioned. I still couldn't process what was going on. Uncle Sirius…There was never an Uncle Sirius…Not at least from what I can remember I mean you think I would have remembered that. And did they mean the Sirius standing before me? Did this mean I had completed my mission? Or was it a different Sirius? "Kobato! Say something." Sirius cried out as tears slipped down my face. I couldn't control them. How could I not remember these things? I can't look in Sirius' heart. Did I really save him? "Kobato, come on." Sirius pulled me even closer. "Someone go get Madam Pomfrey!" He pointed to some of the people around us.

The name Madam Pomfrey seemed to awaken me.

I watched a couple girls move quickly. I couldn't let them go "No! No…I'm fine." I called out loudly before noticing how foolish I sounded.

"You are alright! What happened?" Sirius asked hurriedly.

"I just…I" I stopped talking I couldn't explain what happened. I would sound crazy, among other things. "Sirius can we go somewhere else…I feel crowded" I whispered.

He nodded and without a second thought, he picked me up and carried me to his room. He didn't smile like he usually did as he set me down on his bed. I couldn't help but pry and try to sense what he was feeling. He didn't seem like his usual self. It was like his mind was in a whirl wind. Emotions were running high and even he didn't know what he was feeling. I stared at him a bit longer taking in his appearance now. He looked more grown up than ever with the worry and concern etched on his face.

"Sirius?" I said quietly as he sat down next to me. "You look really handsome tonight."

It was not what he was expecting. His eyes widened before they softened into appreciation. "Thank you, you look beautiful as well, doll." He smiled warmly and brushed some hair out of my face. I blushed a little at his kind words, he ignored it though. "Kobato, can we…can we talk finally?" He questioned asking as if I would say no.

I slowly nodded my head "I would love to" I reached forward and held his hand tightly in mine.

"Kobato…" He shifted his body so he was facing me completely. He stared at me with a lot of emotions as he spoke "I don't even know where to start…this is all been so, so different." He held onto my hand even tighter. "You're the strongest girl I know. It seems like half the time nothing can tear you down. Nothing but yourself…you fight for what you want. You have been away from your family for how long and you've never cried over it. You've always just fought for what you wanted and you are so grown up. Nothing like me….I am so weak." He broke our eye contact and looked down at our hands "You have no idea how much you've helped me. I wanted attention. I crave it because I was loved once. My parents…they loved me. But then I started questioning and they turned and hated me" He grabbed my other hand.

"But you taught me that friends are here for you, they can love you too. I don't need all…all that snogging." He shook his head "I'm not really making much sense… You are just so different, I couldn't help but want to learn more. And I started realizing Kobato…I need you. You…" He shook his hair and looked around searching for words. "If…I…You" He got up and let go of my hands. He was getting frustrated with himself. "Kobato, if I told you that I'm nothing without your love." He got down on one knee and looked at me with sincere eyes. "If it's not you then it's meaningless." Sirius smiled warmly before reaching out and planting a soft kiss on my lips.


	31. Chapter 31: Please save us

**Chapter 31: So please, towards the future…please save us.**

**A/N: Second to last chapter…And then I start a new story, so enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

* * *

Slowly Sirius' lips part with mine in a soft sweet melody. He stared at me with hopeful and tender eyes while leaning his forehead against mine. I felt my breathing increase just ever so slightly, this was a lot to take in.

"Kobato" He whispered gently as he rested his hands on my cheeks "Will you please be my girlfriend?" He questioned in a nervous but loving voice.

I closed my eyes and felt my body pull myself forward to throw Sirius into a tight hug. I couldn't find my voice though, I just couldn't say yes for the life of me. Somewhere deep inside my body was twisting and feeling like I couldn't, because there was so much that Sirius didn't know about me.

"Is that a yes?" Sirius swallowed hard as he hugged me just as tightly as I was holding him.

I still couldn't answer. I really did want to say yes, but I couldn't form the words from my lips. "Sirius" I whispered out.

He pulled away from our hug "Yes, doll?" He looked at me with hopeful eyes.

I couldn't take it anymore, I moved my head away and looked out the window.

"Kobato, please" Sirius begged "I've never been rejected before so if you are going to say no please…do it gently." He reached forward and grabbed my hands. "I understand, a girl as pure and sweet as you deserves someone a lot better than me."

I shook my head "Sirius" I whispered once more "I love you" I breathed out "But you can't date me…there is so much more you need to know."

"Kobato, I know you are a hard girl to understand! Trust me I've been trying to figure you out since you got here! You've been my hardest challenge yet!" He threw his arms up and his body as he started to pace. "But I want to be with you, no matter what!"

I got up and put my arms around his waist to stop his pacing. "I'll be leaving after this year at Hogwarts." I cried into his chest feeling the tears flow through.

"Then I'll come with you!" He pulled away and looked into my face. "I'd be with you anywhere."

"Sirius, where I am going you can't come." I couldn't hold back the tears anymore, they were slowly escaping through my eyes as every word poured out of my mouth.

"Then I'll wait for you! I'll wait for you forever." He leaned in once more and kissed my lips with a lot of passion this time.

I barely returned this kiss "Sirius" I said as soon as we pulled away "Do you mean it?" I sniffled.

"Yes" He said confidently.

"Then I have a lot of explaining to do." I sighed and took a seat on his bed.

He kneeled down on the ground "Not tonight, we were supposed to go to the dance." He smiled.

"I feel that's a trivial thing right now" I admitted and decided rather to snuggle up on Sirius' bed despite the fact that I was in a nice dress.

"Maybe, but you look so beautiful it would be a waste." Sirius said in a voice that wasn't normal to him. It wasn't like how he usually complimented girls. No, this was sweet and full of real emotions.

"We can have our own little party in here." I smiled and patted the spot next to me.

He didn't give it a second thought, smiling he took the spot next to me. "Is this a yes then? You will go out with me right?" He asked hopeful.

I grabbed a pillow and hugged it "I will always say yes, it's you who will need to make the choice. After I have told you my story, if you still say yes than of course I will."

He laughed "I am sure nothing you say could change my mind." He rolled his eyes.

"You'd be surprised." I muttered more to myself.

"Then let's wait, tell me another night. I want to savor this moment forever." Sirius grinned wildly as he picked me up and placed me in his lap. "You're mine for now." He said while holding me close.

We stayed like this for I don't know how long. I just know it was until James, Remus, and Peter came back, but by then I was long asleep. It had to have been at least 12 when they came in.

"Sirius are you here?" James asked loudly. Sirius without a second though pushed me off his lap, I let out a groan and rolled over snuggling up with the blanket. "Is that Kobato I hear as well?" He added after I continued to make noise in attempt to get comfortable so I could go back to sleep.

"Yeah, she got a little ill right as we were heading down." Sirius said nonchalantly while edging towards the end of his bed.

"How is she feeling now?" Remus asked right away with concern.

"FINE!" I growled rolling over and throwing the pillow over my head.

Sirius laughed "Just grumpy it appears." He said while pulling the pillow off my head. I threw a glare at him.

"Well, let me just say you missed a wonderful night! Lily!" James came closer I could practically feel the euphoria coming off of him as I sat up. "Lily, you will never believe this bu-" I cut him off.

"I'm actually sure I will believe this." I smirked knowing how much Lily secretly likes him.

"Anyways!" James glared at me looking annoyed. "She actually danced with me for almost the whole night! And she was…nice" He said happily.

"Imagine that" I said while trying not to roll my eyes. It was good for Lily, but the fact that James was oblivious to how much she does like him was practically comical.

"That is great mate" Sirius said with some enthusiasm. I couldn't help but wonder if he was thinking the same things I was.

"I know I might just have a shot with her." James practically pranced over to his bed and plopped down. "Remus, why don't you tell them about your night?" James said suddenly in an odd tone.

"What about my night?" Remus acted as if the night was normal for him.

"Oh you know…" James went on eagerly.

"Nothing happened tonight." Remus turned his back and continued to pull out his things to get ready for bed.

"I'm pretty sure the whole school saw you." Peter snickered in his corner.

This made me wonder, I could feel embarrassment coming from Remus, what happened? "Soooo you gonna tell us?" I asked now wanting to know.

"There's nothing to tell." Remus shrugged and walked off to the bathroom.

Sirius and I turned to James "Sooooo" we said at the same time.

"He and Raven snogged for a good half of the evening." James said excitedly.

Sirius and I exchanged glances. "That's his first time isn't it?" Sirius asked looking a little puzzled.

"Yes, it is." James nodded.

"Well good for him! I think we should bust out the firewhiskey and celebrate!" Sirius quickly got up and headed for his trunk.

"If that's the case, I'm leaving." I grumbled and got up off the bed.

Sirius stopped what he was doing the minute I started walking towards the door "Wait, you can stay!" He pleaded quickly. I had a hard time being able to say no with those eyes, so I nodded and sat back down on his bed. But I would regret that the next morning.

We stayed up most of the night have our own after party laughing and talking. But in the morning there was a scramble. Some 3rd year boy had been sent up. There were apparently several people looking for me. Dumbledore needed a word with me asap and it was important. I didn't have the strength to respond to the boy, no one else really did either. They were all hung over, I was just tired and hungry and hungry in the sense that I needed blood. It was all I could do to was to lay there as not to bite Sirius who was so close to me right now.

"Please is Nightray in here?" The boy begged once more "Evans said she wasn't in their dorm last night. This is the last place she could possibly be."

"Yeeess!" James practically yelled at the poor boy. "She's over there" He growled.

I figured that was my cue to stretch and get up "Tell him…" I had to pause, I needed blood "I'll be down soon." I tried not to growl at the poor boy who was already terrified.

"I wonder what Dumbledore wants" Sirius mumbled into his pillow.

"I don't know…" I responded back already looking for my dress. At some time in the middle of the night I had ended up changing into some of Sirius' clothing, but my dress was missing somehow. "But I can tell it's important." I sighed letting my Vampire senses feel what's going on down there. Dumbledore wasn't talking, I could hear people in the common room but either he wasn't there or he just wasn't talking. I wondered what was up. "Sirius where did my dress go?" I questioned getting frustrated I couldn't find it.

"I don't know" He grumbled.

"Fine, I'm going down in your clothing. See you in a bit." I sighed once more and headed for the common room. Something was off. I could tell as I walked down, but what was off?

It hit me the minute I got to the stairs by the common room. Scarlet was here. I tried not to panic and jump to conclusions, so I wore the best smile I could as I approached Dumbledore and Scarlet.

"Good morning." I said as pleasant as I could despite how hungry, tried, and worried I was.

"Ah there you are. We were beginning to worry that you ran off." Dumbledore said with a strong twinkle in his eyes and an air of amusement around him.

"I got lost last night, happens all the time" I shrugged.

"Understandable" He smiled "Now if you please Miss Castrogiovanni" Dumbledore bowed and turned to Scarlet.

"Kobato" She greeted warmly. "I need you to pack your things. I know you aren't scheduled to leave for break till tomorrow, but this is important."

I stared at Scarlet for a moment searching her. I felt like I did something wrong, but I know that wasn't the case.

"You look ill, are you alright?" She asked out of nowhere breaking my thoughts.

"What? Oh…I'm fine. I'll go pack then." I said quickly pointing towards the dorms.

"We will see you in my office then Miss Nightray." Dumbledore gave a curt nod and turned to leave. He stopped "I think you remember that I like chocolate frogs?" He questioned.

I nodded "Yes" I said before I turned to leave as well.

Quickly I ran to my dorm and packed everything I could in my trunk. I didn't leave anything behind, as far as I was concerned I might not even becoming back.

"Kobato?" I jumped as I threw a couple more things in my trunk to see Lily standing close by "What's going on?"

"I have to go, something came up." I said truthfully packing the last of my stuffed animals.

"Will you be back?" She asked worried.

"I don't know." I sighed and stood up by her. "Probably not till after break." I smiled as warmly as I could.

She reached out and gave me a hug "Be safe."

I nodded "Of course" and turned back to my trunk with my wand out. I muttered a spell to make it smaller and slipped it into my pocket. "I'll see you later." I waved looking around for Raven, she was still sleeping like a rock in her bed.

I gave Lily one last hug and headed for the boys dorm. Everyone had fallen back asleep, that was no surprise. As quietly as I could I slipped over to Sirius' bed and planted a soft kiss on his forehead, he stirred the minute my lips touched his skin.

"What's up Kobato?" Sirius asked as he pulled me tightly onto him.

"No, Sirius" I said sternly as I pushed myself back up. The action immediately made him sit up with worry. "I'm leaving today. Scarlet is here and there is an emergency."

"When will you be back?" He asked quickly.

"I'm not sure, but I need to go." I leaned forward and put my arms around his waist. He gladly hugged me back. "See you soon." I whispered as I pulled away.

"Not soon enough." He smiled sheepishly as he watched me leave.

* * *

There was a big stir when I got to the Castrogiovanni's manor. I couldn't really put my finger on it, but it was making me edgy. Scarlet lead me straight into the study. She had her usual cheerful bounce which was enough for me to know nothing bad was going on for me. At least that's what I thought.

Trigger was in the study waiting for me with papers spread out across the desk. He stopped working the minute he saw me and threw me into a tight hug.

"I am so proud of you!" He explained and pulled me away. "But if you weren't aware, there's a lot to be decided now and discussed."

I took a seat and stared at the papers "I figured as much." I didn't know what was coming and it was leaving me nervous.

"Scarlet" He motioned towards her. With a curt smile she turned and left leaving Trigger and I alone. "I know we weren't very clear on the severity of this mission from the start." Trigger started as he took a seat across from me. "But I didn't want to worry you."

"I understand. I was…" I paused "Young, I feel I've grown so much, I'm ready now."

He didn't hesitate for a moment his mind was set. "Elda Castrogiovanni's murder as I said before caused several problems." He looked at the papers on the desk. "The problem was, she was fighting for Vampire rights. The ministry in England wanted to take more rights away from the Vampires." Trigger shook his head let his anger seep through. "Certain ministry officials felt it fit to cut rights for witches and wizards who suffered from Vampire Reflex and Vampires who were Witches and Wizards at one point."

"Meaning? What were they trying to cut?" I asked feeling very defensive.

"For one, you wouldn't be able to go to school anymore, regardless if you are a Vampire or just a witch with Vampire reflex." He said while clenching his fist. "Even if you have only met Elda once, she still cared about you a lot and all the other cases. Though there are no cases still in school in your time." Trigger stopped and stood up to face the window. "The minute she got wind of the bill in attempt to be passed, she was furious. Everything you have been fighting for and everyone else was going to waste! She wanted to fix it and make a point." He slammed his fist into the wall by the window, slightly shattering the glass in some areas. He ignored it and went on "She went in to the ministry without any back up. Furiously but as calmly as she could she talked with the people in charge of the bill. From what I understand they were former supporters of Voldemort." Trigger turned around to look at me, anger and sadness was laced in his eyes "They didn't like her at all, no matter how much of royalty she was. They hated her with a passion. We thought most of the prejudice died with Voldemort, but it didn't. The supporters invited Elda to dinner, she accepted figuring they would discuss the bill. But from what we understand it didn't go that way. They attacked her half way through the meal. She had only brought one other Vampire with her and they didn't stand a chance. In no time they were over powered and killed."

"That's awful" I muttered.

"It's not even the worst part of it." Trigger sighed and ran a hand over his forehead. "When she didn't come back there grew worry and the Castrogiovanni's manor, some trained tracers and Vampire hunters went to search, only to find the wizards and witches responsible were disposing of her body already, trying to cover up what had happened."

I felt tears start to swell up in my throat. "Naturally the Vampire council is upset over this." I said pushing back the tears.

Trigger took his seat once again. He didn't speak at first, he leaned forward and rested his chin on his hands. "Yes, they are planning to attack the ministry with all they have. It's a serious crime to kill a pureblood. Let alone a royal pureblood."

"Where do Sirius and I stand in this?" I questioned searching for any way we could help.

"I know you have completed your mission. I have memories of him, memories that slow started flooding in. After school he immediately started to train to be a Vampire hunter for the England ministry. He never got to finish, obviously he got sent to Azkaban. Well when the second war rolled around, all the help he did and the proof that he was innocent was out, and he completed his training." He stood up and walk towards me. "Through his ties in the ministry, he grew to be huge in the Vampire rights. With him alive, and with you and your ties in the Vampire community, according to the prophecy you two have what it takes to stop all this. You two together between his strong ties in the ministry and your ties in the councils of the Vampires, you can end this without an unnecessary bloodshed." Trigger rested a trusting hand on my shoulder.

"I have to tell him then." I grabbed Trigger's hand and looked up with my eyes shining with tears.

"Remember, you can't say anything that would affect his future. You have to be careful what you say." He said seriously.

"I know, he just needs to know who I really am." I smiled weakly "I don't like lying to him. I'm not officially Kobato Nightray. I am and will always be at heart Kobato Cross." I said as a tear trickled slowly down my cheek.

* * *

Break had finally started and Sirius would be here soon. He was coming over for a formal dinner at the Castrogiovanni's. I had been pacing in my room there for an hour already. I was going insane. He wouldn't arrive till dinner, or at least that's what Scarlet told me, but I still couldn't help but be anxious. Even if I did tell him the truth there was no promises that he would still love me. But he had too, the future was in our hands whether he knew it or not.

My mind couldn't rest. It was replaying the conversation I had with Trigger last night:

"_I don't get how I saved Sirius." I questioned still trying to piece all of this together._

"_Kobato, the strongest thing you can give anyone is love. He had nothing, in his mind, worth living for. He now has you and to him that's something worth fighting for."_

I messed up my hair several times trying to take this in. He had Harry…wasn't Harry enough? And wasn't Remus still alive at that time? What difference should I make?

Again Trigger's voice ran in my head.

"_He wanted to see you at least just once more, he couldn't give up. Of course he had Harry and Remus and everyone else, but his want for you, to see you once more, was more than enough to keep him from deaths door."_

I walked straight for my wall and began banging my head on it. How could love be this powerful? It doesn't make sense!

"Kobato, what the heck are you doing?" I didn't stop banging my head. I must be imagining Sirius standing beside me. I didn't respond, he grabbed onto my shoulders and pulled me away from the wall. "Seriously what are you doing?" He laughed.

"Hitting my head on the wall" I looked at him as if he were crazy. "Why?"

"You are going to hurt yourself." He stared at me.

"Yes well…" I shifted and looked away. "Sirius?" I waited so long for this moment. The last couple of days were torture. I could see him. I could touch him and I couldn't hold back any longer.

"What's wrong?" he questioned looked a bit scared at what I could have to say.

"There are some things I have to tell you, if you really want to be my boyfriend." I said in a shaky voice.

Sirius looked passed it and put a gentle hand onto my cheek "Doll, I already know you are a Vampire. I'm not stupid, it doesn't help that the other night you kept biting your arm."

My eyes widened "I was biting my arm?"

He laughed "I was tempted to give you my arm, you looked damn thirsty in your sleep." He nodded in a teasing manner.

"You were watching me sleep?" I questioned actually being bothered by it.

"Sorry, guilty as charged." He shrugged.

I shook my head "No, me being a Vampire wasn't…well it was one of things. There's a lot you don't know about me. We better sit." Sighing I pulled him over to the couch in the room.

"I know there's a lot to you, but when I say I want to be with you, I mean it. I want to be with you no matter what." He smiled as he sat down next to me.

"Well then you can't take it back. Even after what I tell you" I folded my arms over my chest letting him know I mean business.

"I promise, I need you Kobato and I mean it when I say I want to be with you, really." He grabbed a stray piece of hair and tucked it behind my ear. "I promise" He smiled and planted a gentle kiss on my lips.

I pulled away from his kiss with a grin. I couldn't help it, no matter how serious I wanted to be he just made me so happy.

"Sorry, go on tell me this serious stuff you feel the need to tell me" He patted me on the head still grinning.

"Sirius" I leaned in and rested my forehead on his, something we seemed to do every time we have a stern talk. "My name really isn't Kobato Nightray." He blinked at me a couple of times but didn't interrupt. "It's Kobato Cross."

"You mean…Cross as in from Crossing Wands academy?" He asked with wide eyes.

"Yes, my dad is really Christopher Cross." I filled in.

"That…doesn't make any sense." I watched as he furrowed his brows and leaned away from me.

"So you know of the Cross family?" I knew our family was well known, but not this well known.

"I thought about running away to America many years ago and leave Hogwarts." He waved a hand as if this was old news "Christopher Cross is our age right now, there's no way you can be his daughter."

I grabbed my necklace tightly, the one Trigger gave me. "It's possible, when…when it's time I will be going back. Back to my time."

"Back to your time?" Sirius continued to look puzzled but he didn't back away.

"I was sent on a mission, I can't tell you what, but it's important. And I had to go to the past to do it. I'm from the future, Sirius."

His mouth gapped open and closed as if he was trying to gasp air, but he didn't say anything. I wondered if he actually believed me or thought I was crazy. Either way he gave me the chance to continue.

"This necklace right here is what got me here. I can go back to my time at any time…" I pulled off my necklace and let him touch it. He reached out and gingerly took it from my grasps.

"How much farther in the future are you from?" He asked not looking at me but rather the necklace.

I swallowed hard "2022 was when I left Hogwarts and came to your time."

He blinked "2022…am I even going to live to be that old?" He looked at me worried.

"I can't say, but personally I hope so, because…" I pulled my necklace out of his hand and leaned forward "Because I love you." I smiled as I leaned in and kissed him.

"When are you going back?" He questioned, I could hear in his voice that he was feeling heartbroken, or something. His voice was just so heavy. "Or can't you just stay in my time with me?"

I felt tears swell up at his pleading words "I can't, I have to go back soon. I will be able to see you! I promise…you just stay alive. You'll be old, but I don't care. Wizards live to be like 200, look at Dumbledore!" I said trying to reassure him.

"I might look good with grey hair" He laughed, at least he still had his sense of humor. "But I'll have sagg-"

I cut him off "Oh grow up" I rolled my eyes. "For me it will be like two minutes apart."

"And for me eternity" He pointed out.

"Can you wait that long?" I asked biting my lower lip.

"For you, I could wait forever." He said while leaning in. Slowly he pressed his lips passionately against mine and let his every emotion pour out into my heart and soul, wiping away any fears and sadness.

**A/N: I checked the times online and I think that would have been about Kobato's 5****th**** year in Hogwarts. As far as I know, 2022 sounded far away for me, but that's what the internet said, lol. In any case I hoped you enjoyed it. Next chapter is the last and then I'm thinking of starting either a Draco Malfoy story (using some plot holes I set up in this one) or doing a cross over one. We will see. Hope you enjoyed even if it was a little short :)**


	32. Chapter 32: I don't wanna forget

**Chapter 32: I don't want to forget how your voice sounds.**

**A/N: I enjoyed this story a lot and I hope you did too. Thanks for all the reviews from all you usual reviewers. Thanks for all the adds and favorites. I do appreciate it all. So here's the final chapter. Enjoy :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

* * *

Sirius had a hard time being with me. He seemed to think I was going to leave at any given time, so he made sure I was by his side at almost any given time of the day I could be there. It was a sweet gesture, but it began to be hard because I longed to be with my other friends too. I wasn't just going to be leaving him, I would be leaving everyone else too. But around March a bit of an explosion happened and by that I mean, Lily. She finally cracked and gave into her love for James. It was all the school could talk about. And I was so happy for her. It just made it even harder to be with James and Lily, they were so in love it was adorable.

As for Sirius and I we never really admitted to anyone that we were going out, but people had their suspicions with how close we were. Especially my Slyhterin friends, they could tell right away. But I rarely got to spend time with them. When I did end up hanging out with them, I somehow ended up comforting Lu Baskerville and reassuring her that Nott was a good boy, which towards May, she had somehow falling in love for him. All around me love was budding as I was slipping farther and farther away.I knew most of these people wouldn't be alive by the time in my time, but I knew Sirius would be and too me that meant the world. It hurt deep inside, especially on the last day I was with them, but I held strong.

"What do you mean you won't be back at all?" Lily sniffled a cry as we were exiting the Hogwarts express.

"I'm going back to America and I won't be able to come back here ever." I tried my best, but I was beginning to cave into the tears that were swelling behind my eyes and sitting in my throat. "I'll be wanted here…until you-know-who is gone."

"But Kobato" Raven cried as we stopped walking a ways away from the train.

"I can't, so this is good…goodbye" I crumbled. Tears were streaking down my face as Lily and Raven through their arms around me.

"Write, please if you can." Lily said through her tears.

"I will try." I cried, knowing deep inside that I couldn't. We pulled each other closer and stayed hugging until there was a clearing of someone's throat. We all turned around, embarrassed by our tears to see James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius smiling.

"Came to say our goodbyes too, Sirius tells us you are leaving." James walked up to me and I threw my arms around him.

"I'll miss you loser." I sniffled as I held him tightly.

"I'll miss you too." James said in a strong voice as we pulled away from our hug.

I turned to Peter and Remus "Bye you two." I smiled weakly.

"Bye Kobato." They both said while returning my smile.

I gave them one last smile before I turned to Sirius. He was waiting patiently with a soft smile tracing across his beautiful lips. "Okay bye." He smiled and turned away acting as if he was leaving. I heard Lily make a scoffing noise, Raven snorted back a laugh, I on the other hand produced my best glare as Sirius turned back around. He wore his cockiest smile as he grabbed me tightly and pulled me into a strong kiss.

"I love you" He whispered softly as cheers exploded around us.

"I love you too." I responded blocking everything out and just taking in nothing but Sirius. "I'll see you soon." I teased, knowing for me it would be soon and for him it would be forever.

"Easy for you to say" He moaned as he rested his forehead on mine "I'll see you in forever."

I smiled and rested my hand on his chest "I'll always be right here whenever you need me."

"That was cheesy, let me tell you how it's done." Sirius smiled and pulled his forehead away from mine. He backed away a bit before he picked me up and spun me around in a circle. He didn't let me go but rather pulled me close and whispered into my ear "Kobato, you are the angel that saved me. For that I will be counting every single breath I take without you until I see you again. I will wait for you like the stars wait for the moon." He leaned in and placed a kiss on my lips. "Now go before I can't let you go." He said with a tiny tear shimmering in his eyes as he pulled away. I nodded and without a second look back I closed my eyes and grabbed my necklace tightly and let the world around me fade to where I belong.

* * *

I felt so at home. For once I felt whole at Hogwarts while I waited with Al and Rose for Christmas break to start, though I wasn't that calm. They never knew I left, but they could tell not only in appearance I had grown up, a lot. They could also tell I was edgy. I kept checking the daily prophet for any news, not only that I also began searching the libraries and past daily prophets for anything on Sirius. I knew he was alive, but I just wanted to know more about him and what he was doing. Our mission wasn't done and I wanted to be prepared. So far no news of Elda dying, was good news.

From my searches I did stumble upon so heart breaking news. Of course James and Lily died, that much I knew. And I knew Remus and Tonk's died. What I didn't know was Raven also died. She died during the final battle against Voldemort way back when Harry fought. I couldn't help but cry and sob as I read that. It broke my heart to know I wouldn't see her again. But on a happier note I found out that after the final battle Sirius was cleared of all charges and was released from Azakaban where he built up his life and trained hard in the Aurora department. He seemed to specialize tightly with the Vampires and made several appearances at balls that took place among the community. The main parties that he seemed to be attending were at either the Rainsworth or the Castrogiovanni's. He also started several movements among werewolves as well. The more and more I read about him the more and more I learned that I really did love him. It gave me the hope and courage. I soon began daydream everyday of the moment Sirius and I would meet once more.

It was finally Christmas break and we were riding the train back from Hogwarts, I knew this was my last time at Hogwarts, Professor McGonagall had told me since I already passed my N.W.E.T.'s I did not have to do them again. I didn't mind, it's not something I would want to repeat. But I couldn't help but feel a big twinge in my heart as I clung onto the tiny box Sirius had given me Christmas' ago with the Sapphire in it.

"Kobato what are you so nervous over? Seriously you've met my parents before." Al asked as I kept glancing out the window wondering if we were nearing the train station. "And Uncle Sirius will love you." Al rolled his eyes. If he only knew…I hadn't told him and Rose a word of what happened. They just knew something was up, all I told them was they will figure out in time. I felt like I didn't have enough time to tell them. I want to tell them everything and I wanted to do it right. They deserved to know what I went through and what it was like.

"I wouldn't say I'm nervous." I admitted shyly. "More like excited" I grinned.

Rose let out a sigh causing Al and I took look at her annoyed face. Obviously we were talking to loudly for her. She clearly had abandoned her book and looked at us "What's in the box you are holding anyhow?" She asked quizzically at my hands.

"Oh this?" I held it up "You'll see" I smirked.

"Again being so secretive, are you sure we are your friends?" Al teased.

It was my turn to roll my eyes "There's just a lot to catch up on when we get the time." I shrugged.

"We have time" Al said egarly.

"Not really" I said glancing out the window. We were almost to Platform 9 ¾.

"You can cut out the story where you became a Vampire and just tell us what happened! You matured so much." Rose eyed me trying to figure out what happened.

"Mmmm, I like keeping you guys in suspense." My grin widened as I felt the train begin to slow.

Al glared at me and said no more, while Rose went back to her book. And I will admit, this was the longest minutes of my life as the train tugged along slower and slower till it finally stopped. I found with it my heart stopped in anticipation. I couldn't move from my seat though over the last several nights I had played this moment over and over again in my head. I knew how I wanted it to go, but I couldn't move. I was afraid. What if he no longer cared for me? What then? And how would I save the world by myself?

"Kooobato" Al whined as he tugged me off the seat "Let's go mum and dad are waiting!"

"Yes yes" I said in a voice far off from my own. I tried to plaster a smile on my face, but failed. I was now officially nervous. The excitement had left me as I grabbed my trunk and lugged it off the train following Rose and Al in a slow pace. I saw the Weaslys and the Potters at once, but I didn't see Sirius at all. I dragged my feet farther clutching onto my trunk in my left hand as I pulled it, and in my right clinging to that precious box.

"You kiddos have a good term?" Mr. Potter smiled at all of us as Mrs. Weasley hugged Rose and Mrs. Potter hugged Al, I just stood there smiling as we all nodded.

"Great dad!" Al smiled.

I dropped my trunk lightly on the ground and turned to my right ever so slightly, something had caught my eye. Slowly a gasp escaped out my lips and before I could stop myself a smile formed on my face "You are old." My eyes widened as I stared at the grey haired man in a nice set of dress robes came to stand right next to Mr. Potter.

"That was just plan rude." The man rolled his eyes and looked at me with longing eyes. "At least I'm not a stuck up pureblood loving-"

"Excuse me Mr. Sirius Black" I glared awkwardly pulling out my wand with my left hand, still holding onto the box for dear life. This wasn't the reunion I had planned for him and I.

Sirius pulled out his wand as well "You aren't excused Kobato Nightray, or shall I say Kobato Cross" I readied myself while Al and Rose looked confused, and all the grownups just smiled.

"You aren't going to win. There's no point in even trying." I smirked as I quickly switched my wand to my right hand and put the box tightly away in my pocket.

"I don't know if you know who I am, but I'm Sirius Black and in case you missed the noticed I'm an excellent dueler." Sirius grinned widely and without a second thought he fired his wand at me and we began to duel, while people just watched on in amazement that a grown man, nearly old man and a young student were dueling.

"All this time and you still can't beat me?" I taunted as I fired another spell back.

"I'm just going easy on you, as I have my whole life." He let out his famous laugh. He seemed to be having the time of his life. I let my guard down noticing how handsome he still looked "And I'll take that!" He smirked as my wand flew from my hand and landed right into his. I felt tears began to swell in my eyes.

"Sirius" I whispered.

"Kobato" He whispered back. I couldn't help it, my feet dragged me forward and I began to run straight into his arms. "I missed you so much" He held me close as tears swelled in his eyes.

"Nothing to see here kiddos!" I heard Mr. Potter clear his throat, but none of that matter. The world around me blurred, all I could see was Sirius.

I was here in Sirius' arms. He was alive and he accepted me. "I can't say I did…I'm pretty sure I just saw you, what ten days ago?" I shrugged as I looked into his eyes.

Slowly he set me down and rolled his eyes "Yes, obviously you haven't changed a bit."

"And you obviously have, you old fart you." I laughed.

"You mean wise. Old and wise often get confused." He said in his usual cocky voice.

I smiled "Sounds about right" I couldn't help but reach forward once more and pull him into a hug. "Sirius?" I questioned as I kept him close.

"Yes?" He held me even tighter.

"I know you are like 100 years old…but" I pulled away from our hug and pulled out the little box and held it out for him to grab. He stared at it for a moment looking puzzled "It would be my honor." I said through my tears. It finally clicked for him. He grabbed the box and opened it open. All at once it seemed to dawn on him as tears began to leak out of his eyes.

"Kobato, I didn't think you kept this. When…" He brushed some tears away "When I gave this to you, you wanted nothing more than to murder me."

I shook my head "I never wanted to murder you…" I said in a voice that didn't even convince me.

"But you know what this means…giving it back to me, right?" He asked staring from the little sapphire back into my eyes. I nodded as tears started to fall from my eyes as well.

"I'm not stupid, I'm a pureblood loving freak" I laughed.

He pulled me into another hug "You are here and…you want to be with me. I've dreamed of this day ever since you left." He cried as he held me close. "But of course it's not that simple."

"It's never simple." I responded.

He shook his head "No, it's much more complicated than that." After his words, I noticed how heavy he seemed to be. He just seemed, so grown up "There's a war brewing."

"I know" I swallowed heavily "Elda, she's dead." I turned my head as my heart felt heavy.

"Our love will have to wait." He grabbed on to my chin and made me look into his eyes. "I'm head of the Vampire department at the ministry, this is my problem."

"Hardly" I glared but, I knew deep down he was just trying to protect me "We are in this together."

He smirked and let go of my face to pull out two wands, mine and his. "I'm not sure if you could handle it."

"You really think so?" I smirked as well forming ice daggers in my hands. I never really used my Vampire powers, but I was always glad I had that option in case.

Sirius backed off just a little bit "That's new" he laughed and handed me my wand back. "I accept then. Together." He nodded.

"Together" I smiled with hope.

"Only you can stay at home" He teased but cut himself short at my harsh glare "It was a joke what I really meant was you can stay at home with the Vampires, you know keep them-" He stopped himself once more as I continued to glare. "Seriously?"

I tried not to roll my eyes "Seriously, Sirius."

"I can't do this without you. It's been hard enough living without you. So please Kobato, will you accompany in this war and now for the rest of my life?" He got down one knee and held out the box with sapphire "What I mean to say, Kobato will you marry me?" I stared at him as tears of joy began to form and trickle down my face. "I mean I can understand if you say no, I'm old and ugly. Your young and beautiful…But there's no-"

I cut him off and threw my arms around him. "Sirius I love you. I love you Sirius and I would want nothing more than to be with you no matter what."

"I love you too Kobato" He smiled as widely and held me tight. "Let's go, doll we have a war to fix!" He threw his fist up in the air still acting like a child. I just laughed and followed him out of the now near empty train station.

**A/N: That's all folks. I hope you enjoyed and sorry this one is a bit short, but that's all there is I hope you enjoyed :)**


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